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Stats: 3,107,433 members, 7,668,009 topics. Date: Tuesday, 05 December 2023 at 10:31 PM
|Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Nobody: 10:30pm On Sep 10|
GIVEAWAY GIVEAWAY GIVEAWAY!
This Sunday night giveaway brought to you by me.
Answer these questions below and
1) What is the name of the soldier who nailed Jesus Christ to the cross, and what was his military rank?
2) What kind of wood was used to craft the wooden cross ?
Time allowed for this exam is anything before 12 AM tomorrow morning. After that, your participation will be invalid.
Scoring 100% = automatic one-way ticket to heaven, with an all-expense-paid tour of David's Villa over there.
Scoring 70% = You will be granted entry into Paradise/heaven , but you will be assigned the role of cleaning the tables and washing the dishes after the 24 elders are done with their daily meals. Angel Raphael will be your supervisor to ensure compliance.
Scoring 50% = You will be allowed into Paradise but you will have to continually renew your resident permit by coming down to earth (Nigeria and Congo Brazzaville) to live and work on farms for six months daily.
Scoring 30% = Spending 600 years in purgatory and discussing about politics with Gaddafi, and Emperor Nero every morning by 3 a.m in a dark room.
A 10% score will see you repeating this lifetime all over again, with the same stress you've been through doubled (no be juju be dat? ) and then still be sent to Hades to await trial/judgemt.
A 0% score = getting whisked away to hefaya ( hell fire 🔥) straight on a brand new high-speed Concorde aircraft.
Good luck guys.
Your time starts now.
|Re: Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Shomek(m): 10:38pm On Sep 10|
Go ask google
|Re: Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Nobody: 10:39pm On Sep 10|
My own exam answers are as followed:
1) The name of the soldier who nailed Jesus' hands and feet to the wooden cross (or tree ) was Nail'buchadnezzer the heathen soldier.
He was of the rank of an ' Executioner '
2) The wood used was the cedar wood tree from the forests of Lebanon.
Tsankyou Mr. Examiner.
PS: * kneels down pleading *
Allow me to enter into heaven, Sir. I beg of you
Let me just see the golden road and the crystal lake that flows from the throne of the one who has lived from the immeasurable beginning of time.
Submit yours when you are done.
|Re: Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Nobody: 10:42pm On Sep 10|
Class, should we tell him??
Last chance. I don't want you to repeat this class.
Or, is your final answer " Google "
|Re: Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Shomek(m): 10:54pm On Sep 10|
|Re: Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Nobody: 11:02pm On Sep 10|
Play is good for the brain and soul. Thanks, Sir. I will continue to " dey play " Sir
Meanwhile, you've scored 30% for your lack of humour, lack of emotional attachment, wanton disrespect towards the examinations council, and signs of spirit-coconess.😁😁😅
The verdict has been passed. 30% is your take-home score. 🤷
|Re: Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Zee0007: 11:37pm On Sep 10|
I love this op.
|Re: Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Nobody: 12:00am On Sep 11|
The same tree that your Messiah cursed is the same tree species his father would allow him to be crucified with? Highly impossible
In fact, that answer feels like an uppercut to the legacy of Christ.
The answer to that question is between a cedar tree and a dogwood tree.
A fig tree would possibly be too light and small to be used for crucifixion.
Remember this is the jokes section, and even the giveaway offer is, or was equally a joke. I'm constrained right now and unable to assist you with the cash you seek for.
To many things on my plate.
Bear with me.
I pray that the good Lord meets you at the point of your urgent needs. In Jesus'name. Amen.
Best wishes, Sir.
|Re: Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Nobody: 12:15am On Sep 11|
But come oh, bros...bring your ear closer make them no hear us...
Ehen, you and I know say that soldier had a name. Abi, did his mother not deem it fit to give him a name after he waa birthed?
Did they know that he will ultimately end up being a soldier in the Roman military?
Brother Mi, you knoweth not that name. Just talk true. Hehe
All the same, you have scored 80% for your effort and determination. Oh, and your faith in the examiner. I know you kinda had strong faith in yourself that you had answered those two questions accurately.
You're going to heaven and then Paradise!
|Re: Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Nobody: 12:28am On Sep 11|
Moderator of this section, kindly CLOSE THIS THREAD
The joke is over. It is a new day now. This thread has expired
And I'm off to bed to meet up with others for the dream world's activities slated for today.
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