greatestluv4all:
To my fellow muslim sister, your candid and honest opinion is required and even the brothers too.

I have two suitors, a muslim and a non muslim.

Both have asked for my hand in marriage and have met their respective families.

Here is the challenge

The muslim is married with kids and only willing to take me as his second wife.
We know every woman wants a man for her self alone.

The non muslim have told me I have to leave my religion, the parents even reiterated these on my last visit.

Both are gainfully employed and are serious about the proposal.

As a muslim sister, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?

Brothers, help a sister.

Proffdada:
Better follow the non Muslim and get saved

Abduletudaye:


Get saved from what exactly

PassingShot:
That we still get asked questions like this is unfortunate.

Have you thought of what might eventually happen with your marriage with the non-Muslim later in life?

The thought that you could even contemplate changing your religion for marriage is depressing really.

May Allah keep you in Islam and make you steadfast.

Uztadh in the house, please come and help.

Proffdada:
eternal damnation

Proffdada:
eternal damnation

Proffdada:
eternal damnation

Rilwayne001:


Really? Have you saved yourself from eternal damnation?

Proffdada:
I can't save myself, I've got a Savior

Rilwayne001:


So, what gave you the chutzpah that that savior has saved you?

Proffdada:
I've got tickets to heaven and paradise and I can choose where to spend my eternal vacation

Rilwayne001:


This is not the answer to my question, perhaps you should go back and check the question again.

greatestluv4all:
To my fellow muslim sister, your candid and honest opinion is required and even the brothers too.

I have two suitors, a muslim and a non muslim.

Both have asked for my hand in marriage and have met their respective families.

Here is the challenge

The muslim is married with kids and only willing to take me as his second wife.
We know every woman wants a man for her self alone.

The non muslim have told me I have to leave my religion, the parents even reiterated these on my last visit.

Both are gainfully employed and are serious about the proposal.

As a muslim sister, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?

Brothers, help a sister.

greatestluv4all:
Am 28yrs old.
The married muslim man is 35yrs with 4kids.
The non muslim man is 32yrs old.

AlBaqir:
First, must you marry any of those men? You can can get a rightful man with prayer and patience.
"Allah does not place burden on any soul..." (Quran)

Second, it is haram for a muslimah to marry a non- Muslim man. No doubt you will lose your iman ( faith and belief). In Islamic sharia, only a Muslim man can marry a non-muslim ( christian or jew only) even at this stage, he cannot force the woman to convert to Islam. She's free to practice her religion. But there's always the danger of the faith of their issues.

Third, you have a choice to make. Can you cope being second wife? Absolutely its your choice and there is no reward whatsoever for being second wife. Its however full of unimaginable challenges.

Lastly, Istikhara is of no use here. Those who keep on advising on Istikhara, though meant good for you, but do not understand the concept of al-Istikhara.

While there are various type of Istikhara, in this case and similar issues, you are expected to use your God- given aql ( intellect) first to seek solution. If you can't find solution, then Islam enjoin you to consult people of wisdom and vast experience for advice. If yet, no solution, only then you can perform Istikhara.

Note, istikhara is not a form of future- teller. I do not wish to go further on Istikhara not to derail this thread.

wa salam alaikum.

And concerning the married man, you should just seek Allaah's Counsel through the Istikhaarah.
Have faith in it that you'll be guided by Allaah
through it. Of course, if he's the right man for
you, Allaah will bless you with him and if he's
not Allaah will provide another Muslim man
(maybe single this time) that will be better off IN
SHAAALLAAH!

greatestluv4all:
To my fellow muslim sister, your candid and honest opinion is required and even the brothers too.

I have two suitors, a muslim and a non muslim.

Both have asked for my hand in marriage and have met their respective families.

Here is the challenge

The muslim is married with kids and only willing to take me as his second wife.
We know every woman wants a man for her self alone.

The non muslim have told me I have to leave my religion, the parents even reiterated these on my last visit.

Both are gainfully employed and are serious about the proposal.

As a muslim sister, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?

Brothers, help a sister.