PLS I NEED UR ADVICE URGENTLY!

MY GIRL SUDDENTLY TOLD ME THAT HER UNCLE WHO IS SPONSORING HER EDUCATION IS NOT ACTUALLY HER UNCLE AND NOT IN ANY WAY RELATED. AND THAT THE BROTHER TO THE SO CALLED UNCLE WANTS TO MARRY HER. SINCE THEN HAVE NOT BEEN RESPONDING POSITIVELY AND ALWAYS GIVING EXCUSES WHEN EVER WE ARE TO SEE OR MEET.

PRESENTLY SHE SAYS THE MAN ( THE BROTHER) HAS MEET THE MOTHER OF MY GIRL AND DECLEAR HIS INTENTION AND THE MOTHER HAVE ACCEPTED HIM AND SHE IS NOW BEHAVIOUR VERY FUNNY AND NOW STUDYING HIM OR THE ARE COURTING FOR POSSIBLE MARRIAGE.

AND AM NOT HAPPY FOR THE POSITION OF THINGS AND NEVER COMFORTABLE COS I BELIEVE THE MAN IS OUT TO HAVE HIS FILL AND MOVE ON.

NOTE: THIS MAN IS FORM AMAMBRA STATE, THEY USUALLY PROMISE GIRLS MARRIAGE AND GO EXTRA MILE TO PROVE TO THEM THAT THEY MEAN BUSINESS BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY DISAPPOINT THE GIRL AND MARRY FROM THEIR VILLAGE.

SHE ALWAYS COMPLAIN OF BEING CONFUSED AND DANCING TO TONE OF HIS MOTHER.

PLS, WHAT DO I DO?

SHOULD I I LEAVE AND MOVE ON WITH MY LIVE OR SHOULD I PUT UP A FIGHT FOR MY RIGHT COS AM EQUALLY CONFUSED. I PASSED OUT FROM NYSC LAST YR SEPT AND GOT A JOB IN JAN 2009. IT IS NOT AS IF AN NOT MEETING UP.

DO U BELIEVE IS THE PRESSURE THAT IS CHANGING HER OR THAT SHE DONT LOVE ME ANYMORE?

PLS ADVICE NO INSULTS.

_{Background story,
on Jan.09 she called me to define our relationship, that is to either propose to her or engage her. But, my people how do i propose to a girl when i have not even collected/recieved my 1st salary. i ask her to give me atleast 6 months to put things in order b/4 proposing. and even since things has moved from frying pan to fire in our relationship}.

if this girl of yours really luv you, she would not have traded you for anything , i think she is confused

your girl?! brotha, you THINK she is your girl but true enough, she is that mans wife to be. move on with your life and forget that lady.
would you want to be with someone who is dishonest?! untrustworthy?
if yes, then go ahead and keep fighting for that womans attention.

look dear, so long u re working n ur not doing bad at all, u shouldnt worry much over a girl. u might love a girl, dated 5 yrs, she disappoints, u loss her, cry over her, forget her, move on, finds another girl, fall in love again, the ex becomes a history, an enermy to be more franc.

why kill yourself over nothing. call her up and understand were she stands. if she is not straight. forget her and move on. my mum tells me this always. so long u re doing well. girl shouldnt be an issue.

thanks for your advice- i really appreciate but its not easy at all.

pls more responses.

romade:

obviously she wanted commitment from u & since it wasnt forthcoming she decided to move on with the guy making much investment even in her academics
its better u decipher the handwritting on d wall, get balanced finacially & get lucky with another lady that really deserves u

i understanding all that she needs committement from me but like i said how can i commit with empty hands. we are nigerians and understands that u have to put somethings in place b/4 engaging to a girl. must girls be desperate about about this marriage issue?

@ Post

Every relationship musnt end in marraige. If she's ready to move on, then let her. Dont think the man is out to fool her, its not always like that. She might have dated you for a long time but trust me, she dosent want to marry you. If she does, she'll wait.

let me start from ur last statement,

ui dont need 10yrs salary before u can propose to a girl.
if u know u wanna marry her, then propose and start workim towards it.
but my major problem is if she chose some1 else,
then u bera let her be.

who said that relationships were easy? its part of life that you might chose someone and that person has other plans. better find that out NOW than later when you have spent time and effort into the matter.
you HAVE to move on with your life and forget about a girl who considers you "second best" (also commonly known as "spare tyre"
you are only the fall back guy if the first guy dont go all the way with marriage plans.

izeek:

let me start from ur last statement,

ui dont need 10yrs salary before u can propose to a girl.
if u know u wanna marry her, then propose and start workim towards it.
but my major problem is if she chose some1 else,
then u bera let her be.

@ IZEEK,

IF U ARE IN MY SHOES SO U WILL PROPOSE TO A GIRL WITH EMPTY HANDS? SO U WANT MY PARENTS TO REGRATE SENDING ME TO SCHOOL THAT THE FIRST THING TO DO AFTER NYSC AND GETTING A JOB IS TO PROPOSE TO GIRL? MY MAN THIS AFRICA AND NOT WESTERN WORLD.

If she really was your girl she would be getting ready to marry someone else.
If she really was your girl she would have waited the 6 months for your next move.
If she really was your girl there would be no confussion in her brain as to what to do.
If she really was your girl she would be your girl and you would not be here seeking advice.

Are you prepared to take her on as wife right now?
Are you prepared to pay her school fees and her from this day forward?

sistawoman:

If she really was your girl she would be getting ready to marry someone else.
If she really was your girl she would have waited the 6 months for your next move.
If she really was your girl there would be no confussion in her brain as to what to do.
If she really was your girl she would be your girl and you would not be here seeking advice.

Are you prepared to take her on as wife right now?
Are you prepared to pay her school fees and her from this day forward?

@ SISTAWOMAN,

I THINK THERE IS SENSE IN WHAT U JUST SAID.
THESE QUESTIONS ARE REALLY EYE OPENER.

THANKS ALOT.

Topic: My Girl Is Courting Another Man, Pls Advice

why dont u think it should be another mans girl is also courting me

sistawoman:

Are you prepared to pay her school fees and her from this day forward?

in what way this is relevant to his LOVE for her?! is she in some kind of hurry?! cant her parent pay the school fees until they get married?! or is that the way to buy wife in 9ja? pay school fees and you get the prize!!!!!
Is that the going rate to pay these days for a wife?! what about love, care, affection, trust and honesty, compatibility and companionship?!
he lost his girl a long time ago because they dont have the same goals. one is looking at the LOVE he has for her while her priorities are on the size of a mans wallet.

@post,
proposal my brother is not marrying her sharp sharp,
its just away of telling the lady she is a part of your future (the one u are building right now),
nd den u give her ur time-table.
that way the babe knows she is not jusst wasting her time on some dude who will one day earn a big pay,
and forget her cos he dint make any committements to her.

MRbrownJAY:

in what way this is relevant to his LOVE for her?! is she in some kind of hurry?! cant her parent pay the school fees until they get married?! or is that the way to buy wife in 9ja? pay school fees and you get the prize!!!!!
Is that the going rate to pay these days for a wife?! what about love, care, affection, trust and honesty, compatibility and companionship?!
he lost his girl a long time ago because they dont have the same goals. one is looking at the LOVE he has for her while her priorities are on the size of a mans wallet.

I can understand that she wants to get her education. And for whatever reason her parents cant foot the bill. In Nigeria unlike America there are no student loans, pell grants or scholarship money. Either your parents pay the bill, you pay the bill or a third party pays the bills.

I have seen women marry for less. And althou she may love this man to bits, althou she may envision having his children and being his wife forever, the reality is she has to get thru school.
She knows that if she drops out to marry the poster that she may never get to complete uni and would have to live under her husbands thumb for the rest of her life.

I wonder how close she is to completion. And I wonder if I could school her on a few tips to get uni paid for w/o having to give up any honeypot and not marring this dude.

I can understand her confusion just a little bit.

Please dont listen to any of the BS that was posted by him ^^^^^^^

MrCrackles
terri blonde !mumuhaw

Your truth is for playas.

There are a few desperate, ugly, severally overweight, boyfriendless girls out there that will wait 10 fucking years for marriage, but only a few.

I grown ass woman that is on point knows there are tons of guys after her and your cool attitude will get you side swiped for the one that wants to shower her with attention and other things.

Very simple - move on!

Any woman giving you ultimatums like that is dangerous. One day they might ask you to choose between getting them a nice dress or supporting your aged parents.

Her mum is looking out for personal interest, not love. For her to be talking marriage with the man, she is ready to marry him or at least considering it.

Cut your losses and move on. Let this be a lesson to you though - the type of girl reliant on some 'uncle' to pay her fees or desperate to marry will try her best to manipulate you. Make sure you don't fall for the tricks next time.

IF U ARE IN MY SHOES SO U WILL PROPOSE TO A GIRL WITH EMPTY HANDS? SO U WANT MY PARENTS TO REGRATE SENDING ME TO SCHOOL THAT THE FIRST THING TO DO AFTER NYSC AND GETTING A JOB IS TO PROPOSE TO GIRL?   MY MAN THIS AFRICA AND NOT WESTERN WORLD.


like some one said you don't need the whole world before you can

propose to a lady u've been courting for years and why would your parents

regret sending you to school just b/cos the first things you do after

graduating was to propse to a girl. don't really understnd this except

you a kind of guy that can't take a decision on his own without his parents

interference,   and come to think of it this might be the reason why she left

you for the other guy

pinky lady:

IF U ARE IN MY SHOES SO U WILL PROPOSE TO A GIRL WITH EMPTY HANDS? SO U WANT MY PARENTS TO REGRATE SENDING ME TO SCHOOL THAT THE FIRST THING TO DO AFTER NYSC AND GETTING A JOB IS TO PROPOSE TO GIRL? MY MAN THIS AFRICA AND NOT WESTERN WORLD.


like some one said you don't need the whole world before you can

propose to a lady u've been courting for years and why would your parents

regret sending you to school just b/cos the first things you do after

graduating was to propse to a girl. don't really understnd this except

you a kind of guy that can't take a decision on his own without his parents

interference, and come to think of it this might be the reason why she left

you for the other guy

SO IF I HAPPEN TO BE UR BROTHER U WILL ENCOURAGE ME TO PROPOSE TO HER WITHOUT GIVING ME MORE TIME? THIS IS A QUESTION OF COMMON SENSE 1st THING 1st; @LEAST I HAVE TO RENT MY OWN HOUSE! IF NOT FOR ANY OTHER REASON OR DO U EXPECT ME TO BRING HER TO STAY WITH MY PARENTS?

I APPRECIATE ALL UR RESPONSE IT IS REALLY ENCOURAGING!

THANKS A LOT.

Free the girl abeg

hmmmnnn,

wot is wrong with u. u are being advised but u keep on saying another thing. u berra move on or ku sibe

What are you still doing there this man?

hackney:

What are you still doing there this man?

to sponsor the wedding

@poster
Baby girl don't want you no more.