Odotech:
Your husband is investing in Nigeria because he knows Nigeria is a lawless place where should both of you divorce today, you will get nothing from the courts. Courts here pervert justice. But if it was in UK he invested, whether he puts your name or not, the properties belong to you both except you had prenuptial agreement. He may have his fear of losing out if divorced for insisting on investing here in Nigeria. You too have the fear of losing out because of his choice of a lawless country as investment destination. The middle point should have been investing in Nigeria under you both's full legal name ie Mrs Jane Sobotie and Mr Jude Sobotie. In law, "Mr and Mrs Jude Sobotie" is not recognized name. Tell him to put your name or henceforth forget about investment in Nigeria. Support only joint investment in UK where you have automatic right to any property in his own name or invest in your own name here in Nigeria if he refuses to include you in the existing properties. Make him understand that you know and understand his fears is about losing it all through divorce but that Nigerian courts and systems are already biased towards men in the event of divorce, so your legal name must be included. Should he relocate to Nigeria tomorrow or secretly marry another Nigerian woman, she automatically inherits properties built with your money because your name is not on those documents. Nigerian law recognizes not just court marriages but also customary marriages so your own properties will be shared between you and the secret wife of your husband. You seem like a good woman. The type most of us would like to have really. You appear supportive and not interested in divorcing your man like we read about Nigerian women dealing with their husbands in the UK

You are confusing cultures in Nigeria with courts in Nigeria. Easy now, Nigerian law and court system is not that useless

cococandy:


So then there’d be no fuss if the woman puts all the family wealth and property in her name right? After all if she dies, the man is entitled to everything she owns. No?

These are the sick devilish lies you used to deceive women in the past so they’d build with y’all and when you start misbehaving they won’t have a choice to stick with your miserable behinds seeing as they have no other choice

You are trying too hard BTW, marriage is not for everyone, stay out of it and its discuss

cococandy:
I promise you that man knows. That’s his intention

Na so una go use your sentiments and mindset tear this beautiful family apart? Una well done o

cococandy:
Only a man will see another man being a bad spouse and ask those he’s hurting to walk on egg shells around him so as not to displease him. Meanwhile he’s in the wrong from the beginning.

No wonder Nigerian women hate to build with you people. I always think in my head, “why would a woman want to keep her money separate from the spouse. Is it not one family and they can all be included and benefit from it equally?”

But no. Not with these types of responses. If he decides to go ahead and marry another woman to reap where the OP sowed, the best advice you guys can give her is to keep begging him.

I won’t blame any woman who doesn’t want to build with you guys. Egomaniacal double crossing is the game y’all play

You try to paint women as if they are 100% saint. We all know your MO. You think men generally like building with women in the first place?

No problem, you can attack your own man if he does not do right simply because he has different mindset from you on how wealth should be built. Attack him, and insult his family. Infact divorce him then.

JB0707:
My husband and I both live in the uk and we join all our money and investments together, all the properties my husband acquired in Nigeria doesn’t have my name on it, at first I wasn’t bothered but now i am bothered because his family is chaotic. I started asking for my name to be included and i am not ok with the response am getting. I feel i am just working and I have nothing in my name. I love him but I don’t trust his family. Should i keep insisting or start my investment separately. I am just confused

If you're childless, your worries are genuine. However, if your union is legit and is blessed with kids (at least 1 male child) then let thy heart not be troubled.

The wife should simply insist on a Will to reflect all jointly held assets including the said investments and filed in the High court of jurisdiction, which should include who gets what in case of death, divorce etc.

Klass99:



The entitlement and greed of a man's siblings, uncles, cousins and entire lineage can be legendary when he dies! It often leaves me in shock and awe, and I am not easily shocked.

You're right on point! Some family are just too evil. Thank God for mine. Nobody is interested in dragging properties with a widow. As a matter of fact, we make it a duty to give her regular provisioning, take care of their kids, and if she's still young, facilitate her marriage to a good man.

Every man who has a (good) wife should endeavor to ensure he leaves something for her and their children regardless of if she contributes or not. If you have a bad wife, consider your kids! Now that she also has her contribution in it, it is very binding on the man to ensure she's well protected and get what she deserves.

God himself knows that human being are greedy and can be very wicked when given the opportunity. That's why in my religion there's a stipulated sharing formula for estates either there's a Will in place or not. He specifically promised that those who usurps a widow's right and treat her badly will get a different and the most severe kind of punishment.

JB0707:
My husband and I both live in the uk and we join all our money and investments together, all the properties my husband acquired in Nigeria doesn’t have my name on it, at first I wasn’t bothered but now i am bothered because his family is chaotic. I started asking for my name to be included and i am not ok with the response am getting. I feel i am just working and I have nothing in my name. I love him but I don’t trust his family. Should i keep insisting or start my investment separately. I am just confused

JB0707, do you own any property? Let me help you, the answer is NO!

No buts as the documents show otherwise. You can't make claims for refund or ownership if you've got no receipt. Hubby knows this and yet decides to do as he wishes. Even if he had used a third party like his brother to make purchases, adjusting should not be an issue setting the records straight.

You could either continue investing together and he corrects the mistake or he simply buys you out. I have an assumption from your writing that he probably owns the lion's share of the investments. However, if he still delays, you could have a lawyer draft out the listed holdings and state each person's percentage on each. Get this signed and witnessed as well as notarized. This should be a fast process while you still press on the renaming.

If he would not do a simple step as affirming with his signature that you own part of the investments or tries to guilt trip you, simply know that a bigger scheme is in play there. Everyone dies in the end. However, receipts are means for the living in laying claim to anything. It might not be a family you would contend with. Even the Government and Omo Onile are potential contenders.

However, this whole thing is sticky and tricky. While you might be termed wanting to put a strain on your marriage, hubby too risked that. He should be protecting both you and the kids by putting things right. So, don't feel guilt-tripped while claiming what is yours. I pray for you the wisdom to make this happen. Going forward, all investments should be checked and cross-checked by you in the future.

Wishing you well - Teemy

P.S I'm hearing a rumour about late actor Junior Pope, wife, family and properties. Not sure of the authenticity but wisdom is profitable to direct. Better play safe than settle issues later on

JB0707:
My husband and I both live in the uk and we join all our money and investments together, all the properties my husband acquired in Nigeria doesn’t have my name on it, at first I wasn’t bothered but now i am bothered because his family is chaotic. I started asking for my name to be included and i am not ok with the response am getting. I feel i am just working and I have nothing in my name. I love him but I don’t trust his family. Should i keep insisting or start my investment separately. I am just confused

If you are married to him legally, you have nothing to worry about but if you’re not, even if your name is on the property, you can still get kicked out

cococandy:


I’m thinking from whatever assets they have there in the uk. But honestly I don’t know how the system works; I’m thinking more from a USA angle. Your spouse can legally owe you whatever money they hid away to spend in another country. They don’t even need his permission to find it; the bank will provide the information when court ordered.

It’s obviously a legal battle but unless it’s a small amount of money, I won’t just let him have it.

I totally get what you mean..maybe the UK more lax than the States.

A mate of mine who had joint everything with husband got major fleeced when they split up. The lengths he went to hide what they had built up was unreal.

Though she fought as much as she could, he was able to squirrel most of it and the cost of Private investigator on top the the legal bills was just too much.

It dragged out for years and at the end, she was left with very little.

I don't want to type too much before the resident demons here start taking notes.

Sometimes it is easier to walk away and start afresh.

You are not making it any issue. Tell him to include your name. If it was your name and not his, how would he feel? I'm sure he'd declare the documents invalid. This is our world today and nobody prays for anything bad to happen but they do.

maasoap:


You are trying too hard BTW, marriage is not for everyone, stay out of it and its discuss

This we can agree on

Marriage isn’t for everyone.
And especially the type of marriage where the man thinks it’s okay to sideline his woman and make dubious moves on his own to keep the woman at his mercy. It’s definitely not for me or anyone I love who listens to me.

Not for us! Y’all can keep it

cococandy:


But you have nothing to say about a man who’s intentionally excluding his wife from jointly owned family property. All you people love is to cheat and oppress your women. Anyone who gives them advice on how to avoid being mistreated like this becomes the enemy

The marriage alone validates her as a 50% shareholder on all properties in her Husband's name, whether she contributed or not. Why the sudden need to make it black and white, is someone preparing for divorce?

This abroad sef......always bringing the real you in our women.
In Nigeria where she may not be able to add any penny to family properties, will she still feel unsafe and ask that her name be there cos the man's chaotic families will still be alive and well though.

Klass99:


They will not read and learn, rather some will join forces with the vicious men on this forum to call you names like ancestor and evening newspaper approaching menopause, who wants to mislead younger women or destroy their homes. They amuse me to no end with their stupidity, as if they are immune to old age, menopause and this sort of experiences.

Personally, I would have loved to hear your story.

1. Were you able to sell the property (I doubt it but I'm still curious)

I did ooooooo
With fights etc.

2. What was your hubby's reason or explanation for excluding your name from the property documents?

No reason. He told pple that he is the owner and am a quiet person.

3. How is your relationship with him now, after discovery of the fact?

He does his cooking by himself and gives me 20k monthly for my feeding allowance.

I don't really care.

4. Who branded you a bad wife? Just hubby or him and his family?

Himself and his family.
His mother even called me 'alabodo'. That they Bleep me to feed me.
They are on their own oooo


5. What did you do afterwards in the light of your discovery?

Nothing
Do my things by myself. No story, no arguments

I need my peace

I am a man but I do not support not including your wife in your properties. If you cannot trust her with your property why would marry her. The husband has ulterior motives I may say.

UjuJoan2:


I think the mistake is already made, if you make it as issue it might cause problems in your marriage.

Going forward, start your investments separately and You need to put your foot down. If he insists on joint investments, then make sure you see your name on the document before you contribute anything.

It’s good to be wise in love, to avoid stories that touch.

Trust me, I’m talking from experience!

I support this , I hate cheating like crazy

Kooldon:
If you guys are legally married, then you have nothing to worry about.
However, it seems your are more concern about your husband demise before you but what if the reverse will be the case?

At least she will die knowing her effort show for paper too

maasoap:


Na so una go use your sentiments and mindset tear this beautiful family apart? Una well done o

Well Let him just transfer the all properties to her name alone and leave things that way.

If he can’t do that, then we’re not the ones tearing any family apart. You guys love lies and manipulation and hate when you get called out for it. Then someone is breaking up the family. The family can only be held together when the woman is being treated like a lesser human. That’s the only condition that makes some of you men happy

Harddiskng:
You would discover all those advising op to start her investment separately are all women.

I don’t know why when women advise women but matrimonial things, it is the one that would scatter the home pata-pata they always advised their fellow woman to do.

I still haven’t figured it out whether it is subconscious or intentional

I be man too... This is nonsense

femi4:
If you are married to him legally, you have nothing to worry about but if you’re not, even if your name is on the property, you can still get kicked out

That is not correct, once your name is on the documents of a property, married or not, you share ownership as marriage is not the basis for determination of ownership. People co-habit and invests together and not being married does not invalidate it.

Did he have those properties before you married him? If not he is trying to cheat you. There is no reason to have investments together all abroad but nothing together in Nigeria. Unless he secretly has promised those properties to his broke family

Harddiskng:
You would discover all those advising op to start her investment separately are all women.

I don’t know why when women advise women but matrimonial things, it is the one that would scatter the home pata-pata they always advised their fellow woman to do.

I still haven’t figured it out whether it is subconscious or intentional

It is intentional not necessarily to scatter the homes.
If she jointly contributed to those properties, then the husband is intentional about it too.

The question herein, did she actually contributed to the said properties?
Is the money used to acquire those properties withdrawn from the joint investment?

Don't be surprise after these questions there can be a k-leg to the joint ownership she earlier claimed.

Meanwhile, it is possible that she contributed more than the husband, hence she has every right to the acquired properties.

Are we on the same topic? Were talking about their property in Nigeria.

Since when did marriage grant women 50/50 ownership of the family property?

I’m really interested to know. Because if true and it’s actually enforced, then kudos.

Idaytesj29:


The marriage alone validates her as a 50% shareholder on all properties in her Husband's name, whether she contributed or not. Why the sudden need to make it black and white, is someone preparing for divorce?

This abroad sef......always bringing the real you in our women.
In Nigeria where she may not be able to add any penny to family properties, will she still feel unsafe and ask that her name be there cos the man's chaotic families will still be alive and well though.

The holy time you will hear some people here advice you wisely on this matter is only when we are talking about their sister

JB0707:
My husband and I both live in the uk and we join all our money and investments together, all the properties my husband acquired in Nigeria doesn’t have my name on it, at first I wasn’t bothered but now i am bothered because his family is chaotic. I started asking for my name to be included and i am not ok with the response am getting. I feel i am just working and I have nothing in my name. I love him but I don’t trust his family. Should i keep insisting or start my investment separately. I am just confused

Start your investment separately, if he refuses to include your name in it..

And henceforth, don't disclose your total earning to him, so that the other one he doesn't know, you will use it to also invest privately...


Even me that I'm a man, if I use all my money to buy things, I include my wife name, not because of my wife, but because if I'm not there, she will be able to use those things to take good care of my kid in future...

@Op; have you asked yourself why your husband did not put only your name on the properties without including his own name? There you go . It is important that your name appears on ALL the properties that is/are owned that you have also contributed financially to. If he doesn’t do that, he will be financially cheating you which is not right and you might need to go the legal route to correct this if need be; though that will be up to you to decide.

If your husband where to sell those properties today, THERE IS A POSSIBILITY HE WILL NOT GIVE YOU ANY MONEY FROM THE SALE AS YOUR NAME IS NOT INCLUDED IN THE PROPERTY DOCUMENT/S.

You should have been wiser when he got the first property and your name was not included in the documents. You should have started investing in your own properties ALONE ; though you will inform him that it’s better that way since he doesn’t want your name on the properties that both of you contributed money to build/purchase. If you have your own property alone, then your name will be there and he will not need to think whether to include your name in the property document or not.

The first time you mentioned to your husband about why your name has not been included in the properties, IF HE HAD NOTHING TO HIDE, HE WOULD HAVE INCLUDED YOUR NAME STRAIGHT AWAY. As he has not done that, it has become glaring that he has something to hide. If both of you contributed to building/acquiring the properties, I see no reason why your name was not included in the property document/s from the beginning.

Too many women have lost out on issues like this on their names being excluded/left out on properties that they have financially contributed to. To note, make sure that if your name is later included on the property document it must read your full names which will include all the legal name/s you bear such as your first, second and third name if you have one (or if there are more names ) as that will show that you are the rightful MRS XYZ that is referred to on the property document.

As humans continue to show their selfish attitude which is how I’ll class your husband (No offense) then, you become wiser in how to handle issues.

PS: Bear in mind that MOST if not ALL the ones saying that there is nothing wrong with your name not being on the property documents will not give that kind of advise if this were to be their own family members, i.e their daughter, sister, niece, aunty, female cousins or other female family members if they were to be in a similar sitaution.

Thief. Na because you don reach UK now and you want your name in all his properties.

Jezebel.

Witch craft

Tallesty1:
Why are you people intentionally ignoring the man's chaotic family? What if he dies and they accuse her of killing him? Strip her of all his wealth and send her packing or are we going to pretend it doesn't happen? How about they divorce, he will now walk away with her investments? I thought we all stan Hakimi because we are good people, didn't know it was because he is a male.

30 minutes of me seeing things from the woman's angle and I feel totally drained. Nawa ooo

You don't mean the bolded? so you never knew it was because he's a man?.

Welcome to the world of women and hypocritical men. All of a sudden they are legally married. Let a woman just buy her own with her own money and put her own name all hell will be loose and you see this 5 pages it will get to 20.