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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. (44575 Views)
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Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by Ahmed0336(m): 7:18am On Feb 18, 2023 |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by SenatePresdo(m): 8:01am On Feb 18, 2023 |
You cannot use gays to determine how the mind of average man works. You cannot use simps to determine how the mind of a man works. 3 Likes |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by id4sho(m): 9:00am On Feb 18, 2023 |
Shalommy:Am ashamed of my gender if true 1 Like |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by onumadu: 5:04pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
Klass99: Okay, challenge accepted.
TRUE: But then this only confirms the FACT that MOST men are polygamous by nature. Women may feel some need to have extra-pair relationship, but not as much as men. Reason? TESTOSTERONE. Next ...
That survey gave a deceptive conclusion. More like a logic leap. Yes, UNMARRIED men may resent the fact that a "better man" married their EX-GIRLFRIENDS. I strongly doubt that most MARRIED MEN would feel the same level of resentment when a side-chick gets married to ANY man. What the married men miss is the woman's availability to solve what their wives can't solve. Whoever the side-chic married would remain irrelevant as long as the man (some of whom may be unscrupulous anyway) would continue to have access to that side-chic; married or not. I wait to be proven wrong on this! Next ...
AGREE: 100% Again, supports the known fact that most men are polygamous by nature.
There you go again about men not wishing their side-chics well or think highly of then. You leave one important fact out: That overwhelming majority (I'd say 90-something percentage) of second wives were former side-chics. I am yet to meet a polygamous man who simply picked a girl off the streets and married her as second wife without first keeping her "on the side" for some considerable time: to judge her character and fitness for a probably role as second or third or whatever number of wife. My responsible guess is that majority of the men who didn't co-opt the side-chics as next wives lacked the character or resources to do so. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My conclusion: An Igbo proverb says that when making an eye medicine, one should not include pepper as part of the active ingredients. You made a smart post, but added a lot of peppers into it. My respect tho' 4 Likes |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by onumadu: 5:09pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
BTW I wish that this makes front-page to help teach others. My respect to the mods in advance. 1 Like |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by Maysdevices(f): 5:25pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
Klass99:That mention was clear as day. The excuses differ but they’re never the same, what are still typing here? This makes absolutely no sense and if you actually believe these excuses from men, you are extremely gullible or extremely young. We are sexual objects to men. Men cheat because they want and can, not because of any reason. They like women and one is almost never enough for them. A young man’s average dream is to have sex with as many women as he can, while a young woman’s is to fall in love with a Prince Charming. This is why you see even the most beautiful, sexiest women getting cheated on. It’s all in the HOLE AND EXPERIENCE. They are sexual beings that view relationships as a way to have sex freely, they just will never admit that. Some fall in love but most are just there for the sex and the sex gets boring when it’s just one hole and one type of body. Her mention was literally as simple as ABC. If you take that as a YES, what explanation do you have for the youth that cheat on their young nubile girlfriends even more than older men? Or the ones that cheat on their sexy wives with girls great look like trash? All mature and older women know cheating is almost never about the woman. I wonder for you sha. 7 Likes |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by Klass99(f): 5:43pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
1 Like |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by Klass99(f): 6:00pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
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Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by onumadu: 6:07pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
Klass99: I can answer this question without derailing the thread. The short answer is a resounding YES. I and my wife are agreed that if she finds the right man, she can even marry at 18. It would be my daughter's call though. Nobody will force marriage on her at ANY age. The benefits of doing so is well understood within the family.
In discussing these things, I tend to take positions based on KNOWN (as in scientifically proven) facts. For example, it is a known fact that men have more (waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy more) testosterone than women. Which explains their sex drive. Having said that, that does not mean that there are no outright irresponsible men out there who would fk anything in skirt. And they don't need for their wives to gain weight, develop flabby body, etc to do their thing. On the overall though, it can be generally understood that men would prefer that their wives don't "lose her vibes" as she aged. The good news is that A LOT of women out there know how to maintain their vibes. Most modern women do so effortlessly, and it goes a long way in keeping their men around and happy. Of what use is a man around when he is mostly morose or sullen? And the reason for his sullenness is your failure to keep yourself as attractive as possible for him? I mean this is a no-brainer to any smart woman. Some women even find "short cuts" to keeping their husbands always interested, happy and "on the hunt". Men are like lions: We really don't like to eat "dead animals". We prefer to "hunt". I may have said too much already. I don't like giving away men's secrets. 3 Likes |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by Klass99(f): 6:14pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
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Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by Maysdevices(f): 6:15pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
Klass99:LOL. dearie, don’t gaslight me. You had several paragraphs to type on the issue, was it a bone of contention for you or were you pressed when you were typing? This is simply another random matter I took an interest to arguing, if you’re not interested, you should speculate or ignore not resort to shallow statements. We’re not babies here. Men are POLYGAMOUS in sexual nature and have been screaming this for decades. It’s never about the WOMAN, it is about the fact that they get tired of having sex with one woman easily. What answer do you need again? Two monikers have written in this thread alone, like what else do you want to hear? Yet for some deluded reason you think it’s about you or how you take care of yourself? Laughable. You think the perimeters of attraction are the same for women as they are for men?? With all I typed you’re still putting the cheating men do in one box and it’s extremely hilarious. You keep mentioning some imaginary fat, unattractive men that make you understand the logic of men who cheat on the unattractive women as though that is the most type of cheating men do. What about young boys who cheat on their nubile girlfriends who are not unattractive? (Which is the most common form of cheating from men?) Young boys cheat on young girls far worse than husbands or older men cheat on their unattractive women What about men who cheat on their attractive wives with very unattractive women? What about men with uncountable wives? Why are prostitute houses always filled with young men and not older men? How many women have you seen with marry multiple men even if they have the money With this comment I know your problem. You do not speak for all women and that comment you saw doesn’t speak for all men. Listen to the noise. One minute silence for your sexual experience. Penetrative sex does jack for who?! Mouth, fingers and dick are all the same to the G and A spot. You know nothing about sex but you’re not to blame! Most men only know one trajectory. 😂😂😂😂😂 4 Likes |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by onumadu: 6:29pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
Klass99: It is exactly due to the sensitive nature of the information that I spoke in parables. The secret lies in that lion metaphor I used. All I can say is that some women "get it" while others don't. I pity the ones that don't. All men are not the same though. A woman is advised to study her man properly before deciding on her strategy to keeping him happy sexually. The only thing I can tell women (heck all married persons whether male or female) is to ENGAGE YOUR SPOUSE IN DEEP SEXUAL CONVERSATION. Find out what his sexual fantasies are, and try your level best to meet them. Else, he will find a woman who would fulfill them. Most side-chics merely do just that - meet a man's sexual fantasy. A lot of men even cheat because they can't discuss certain sexual matters with their wives. Their wives are too uptight and stiff as sticks. lol I watched one Ghana woman advising women on this same issue. Her "lectures" were far more detailed than mine here. lol 3 Likes |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by Klass99(f): 6:40pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
2 Likes |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by Maysdevices(f): 6:54pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
onumadu:Why don’t you just stop the lies and tell the truth? Lol. The moment the side chick becomes a wife, the man gets bored again. Obviously not all men are the same but most men just love the feel of a different woman from time to time. Why is it so hard for y’all to just come straight and say the obvious truth? Men who complain about sexual purity marry the sexually pure woman then start complaining that they are stiff in nature? Wasn’t that a quality you sought in a wife? You then start cheating on her with a girl that has practice everyday from her different men, the same type of girl men on this forum act like they won’t touch with a ten foot pole suddenly become choice! Why didn’t you just marry the side chick in the first place? You can’t tell me you didn’t see her type, but she disgusts you because she is only meant for sex. This just goes to show that man has needs one woman can never fulfill. It’s either you’re motherly or a hoe. The two rarely mix. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by onumadu: 7:03pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
Klass99: This is a public forum, and there are under-aged people here, too. Adults don't need verbose information to understand these things. I can assure you that most INTELLIGENT people here who have ever married understands me clearly. The unmarried ones though may not understand, but this information is not for them. They will cross their bridge when they get there.
You see, you get me. BTW are you married? If not, then you are way above your expected level of understanding. But I suspect that you are married. BTW this is NOT an adult site. There is adult part of this website, but I believe that family section is not really part of it.
Unfortunately I can't point you to the Ghana woman's advice because it was a Whatsapp message making the rounds a few years back. But her message can be summarized this way: If you are a married woman, the only way you can maintain your husbands sexual contentment is to keep yourself attractive somehow to him. Notice that I didn't say "beautiful". I said "ATTRACTIVE" because it connotes sexual connection. This answers the other lady wondering why men cheat on even beautiful wives. Enough said on this. 4 Likes |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by Klass99(f): 7:23pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
2 Likes |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by onumadu: 7:26pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
Maysdevices: Girl, first of all CALM the fk down. This ain't no war. We are only trying to engage in civilized discourse. No need for vitriol. My explanation about what MARRIED MEN really think of side-chics remains valid until disproved by logic and useful counter-argument. Emotional rant is not a useful counter-argument.
You would NEVER find a single post from me in this Nairaland where I supported marrying only "sexually pure woman". NEVER. Find it and show me! lol If anything, I am in constant battle with the type of men I call "Virgin hunters" here. They are the hypocrites you are alluding to, not me. I believe that every woman can find a COMPATIBLE MATE for herself. The problem lies in that compatibility issue. Not all men like "sexually pure" wife. In fact some men actively encourage their wives to date other men. it is their own sexual fantasy, believe it or not. Marriage is like a finger-print. There are no two similar marriages. To each his (or her) own!
Can you read yourself? How can a man marry a side-chic as first wife? Does this make sense to you? A side-chic is a side chic (second woman or third or whatever nth wife) because there was a gap in the man's first marriage somehow (NOT ALL THINGS ARE SEXUAL IN MARRIAGE. In fact a lot is MENTAL -intellectual, wisdom, understanding, cordiality of worldview, etc) It is not a zero-sum game as you are desperately trying to make it. A LOT of men are happily married with only one wife who understands them and FILLS them somehow. Not all men need side-chics. Believe it or not. Side-chics mostly come in when a wife failed to apply wisdom and understanding in handling her husbands social needs. 3 Likes |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by onumadu: 7:37pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
Klass99: Exactly! That is why I said that a woman should STUDY her husband diligently to understand the type of a man he is, and what he wants from her. Someone like myself LOVE INTELLIGENT woman, and I told my wife to "level up to me or else ...". And she did.
LOL. I suspect that their DEEP POCKETS doesn't hurt either. lol
If you are single and asking these hard and deep questions, I can assure you that your future husband would not need a side-chic. BookMark this post. 2 Likes |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by Klass99(f): 7:52pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
2 Likes |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by Maysdevices(f): 8:02pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
onumadu:Girl, first of all CALM the fk down. This ain't no war. We are only trying to engage in civilized discourse. No need for vitriol. My explanation about what MARRIED MEN really think of side-chics remains valid until disproved by logic and useful counter-argument. Emotional rant is not a useful counter-argument. Please stop with the gaslighting. What the Bleep is up with you people on this site? Did I use an exclamation mark for you to tell my tone? The moment one disagrees with you, they’re angry or on a rant? This was totally unnecessary, one line of ‘STOP THE LIES’ I even followed it up with ‘Lol’ yet that wasn’t enough for you to know that it was a harmless statement? What exactly is emotional or angry about that statement? Please get a hold of yourself and face the conversation instead of resorting to unnecessary statements This is laughable coming from a gender that just stopped having more than two women legally at a time, if you really believe a man cheats because there’s something missing, it’s your personal opinion. Because its literally nature. I already told you not all men are the same, so we are speaking generally. The majority of men are not like you and you know it. How many men have this sort of mature opinion? Your comment implies there is almost no woman fit enough for a man as most with or without means will always have a woman on the side so what’s really the issue? Almost no woman is never enough? I have nothing to say to the rest of your mention. What I know for a fact is that science agrees with me so no need to argue your personal opinion. Enjoy the rest of your day. 4 Likes |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by Maysdevices(f): 8:08pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
Klass99:Lmao 🤣. I simply kept it moving after noticing the same attitude and energy you picked up on. In fact I regret responding to that first quote and mention of me, some people just come here spoiling for a fight, trying to draw you into a needless argument and e-war. I jump and pass, is and will be my default reaction this year. Girl, stop being a bloody clown. Be fucking mature. Who the bleep are you that I would come here spoiling for a fight? Because I didn’t start it ‘I respect your opinion’? What exactly do I want to fight you for? Did I personally attack you? What do you think an argument online is? Were you pressed when you were typing paragraphs about the same opinion? I knew you would respond to that because you’re a clown. Anyone that doesn’t agree with you is on a rant or angry; I don’t blame either of you. I regret mentioning you in the first place too. No be your fault 3 Likes |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by onumadu: 8:32pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
Klass99: If you are like this in real life, believe me you will make an EXCITING wife. I didn't say that all men would like your type, but the one that do will do so PASSIONATELY. And this comment is coming from an EXPERIENCED married man. 3 Likes |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by Klass99(f): 8:39pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
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Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by onumadu: 8:44pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
Maysdevices: Well, thanks for the explanation. But did you say "a gender that just stopped having more than two women legally at a time"? When did polygamy become illegal in Nigeria? If you marry traditionally in Nigeria, you can marry 50 women. And it is LEGAL. Na awa culture be dat.
I would say that science agrees with BOTH OF US. However, is it possible to still have one wife who handles a man well enough for him to not need a second wife? Of course YES! My position on such things is unique to me (and all discerning persons out there); and it is that "THE NOTION THAT ALL MEN (OR WOMEN) ARE CREATED EQUAL IS A LIE". Certain man may be able to COMFORTABLY satisfy 10 women in a single day, while some men struggle to satisfy even one wife once a week. Same applies to women. That is why COMPATIBILITY is KEY in marriage. 3 Likes |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by onumadu: 8:50pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
Klass99: You're very much welcome. And like you said,you don't need ALL men to like you,. You just need to find your type and make sure he marries you. FIND HIM, and in time he will see that what you share (in compatibility) is strong enough to take you on a lifelong journey called marriage. Good luck babe! |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by Maysdevices(f): 10:17pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
onumadu: Lol. You are right! I always think globally when I’m talking about these things. But it is not so common anymore. My reason for pouring that out is that men still have an askew view of what women and marriage should be due to hundreds years of having access to multiple women. Also correct. Science does agree with both of us. I never said it was impossible but you have to agree it is almost rare, especially for men of means. Many men are all about sex and that is what relationships are to them. You have to agree that most men are not are evolved as you. Especially African men. But you are also absolutely correct and I have thought about this before but never really dwelled on it. The reason for this should be that men and women usually look for the wrong things when searching for a partner. Once there is compatibility, those usually go out the window. 3 Likes |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by NaBanga: 11:00pm On Feb 18, 2023 |
They can even kill. Here in the US a married Indian doctor killed an African American woman, because she decided to move on with another man. It's ego dear. 1 Like |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by onumadu: 4:32am On Feb 19, 2023 |
Maysdevices: You are absolutely correct about the compatibility thingy. Compatibility remains the key. And most people don't know this truth until AFTER being married. A lot of people go along with societal "norms" (the typical mono-normative worldview that underlie most western marriages). The problem though is that once they've been married for a few years (usually under 5 years), they start noticing dissimilarities in their worldviews. All those talks of "love" start being replaced by sighs of discontent and, soon enough, they start seeing things outside of their marriage that they know they need, for sure, but can't have "in-house". The least that happens is cheating and serious discord. The most is divorce. This is why I keep saying that marriage is for MATURE minds. And maturity is not necessarily age-related. I've seen mature teenage girls, and have also seen immature 40-something year old women. Same applies to men. Once a couple is mentally mature, they can handle almost ANY eventualities. But if a couple is not sure of their own maturity, or compatibility, they should not marry. Period. 1 Like |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by Tayorshd2(m): 5:39pm On Feb 19, 2023 |
OgaMadam: Condition might made him marry the wife but in reality the mistress is d real love he needs in his life. Meaning finnding real love after marriage it do happens 🤔 Make God help person 2 Likes |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by efficiencie(m): 9:55am On Feb 20, 2023 |
OgaMadam: First, the real victims here are the man that the mistress married and the wife of the philanderer. I pity them. They will suffer untold suffering. If the man should go broke or become ill or travel for a long time, his olosho wife will immediately fall back on the deek she has always known. As for the idiotic man who wants to die because his mistress got married, such men deserve to be punished accordingly because they are olosho-manufacturers yet they will not desire to marry an olosho. |
Re: A Married Man Almost Died When His Mistress Got Married. by mbahdi(m): 9:15pm On Feb 20, 2023 |
Sorry na him name |
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