moca:


My fellow guy, how far now

I am happily married to a lady, I don't do men..

Chrisbenogor:

Kitchen is her zone. She knows what I like, more importantly there are always options. So the question goes like would you eat this to this or that......
She is a far better cook so I don't bother with the kitchen.

Welcome chrisbenogor

bellong:


I am happily married to a lady, I don't do men..

Haba!
Its an innocent question now.
I dont do homo too cos im happily married to my lady since ten yrs ago



Mr B, abeg how far?
Iyawo and baby nko?

deeptesting:


I don`t think there is any married man that will say his wife is 100% good but my Brother it is what you decide to focus on that matters. To stay in marriage you have to grow up above little and minor things. How can a woman not make her marriage work? You must be kidding me.. Believe me it is only an unstable woman who will be frustrating the effort of her husband to make the marriage work and i will be quick to ask the man where and how he met the woman.

With replies like this, this section will be better. Welldone Sir.

moca:

Haba!
Its an innocent question now.
I dont do homo too cos im happily married to my lady since ten yrs ago



Mr B, abeg how far?
Iyawo and baby nko?

Thanks.. They are doing very well.
How are yours?

Your advice is needed on this thread as a happily married man

Chrisbenogor:

Kitchen is her zone. She knows what I like, more importantly there are always options. So the question goes like would you eat this to this or that......
She is a far better cook so I don't bother with the kitchen.

Okay.

freecocoa:
Aww, that's a good wife right there, hold on tightly to her.

I take it you don't cook since you didn't answer that question.

Oh, I didnt see that part. I do cook once in a long while.

babygirlfl:


Welcome and pls do comment more in this section. Thanks

Thanks, I sure will.

Dem don dey look for happily married men

Okokobioko.
The one we get here no do una.

Offline they are scarce, online too....scarce .

Pls, you should come out. Time to sweep away numerous Yahoo Yahoo chewing gum stalkers we have here.

We need harmony in this section

moca:

What is wrong,my sweetheart

Erm, I was just shocked when you revealed yourself to be male especially after the lazy wife thread . It's all good though.

shizzleStar:
When they both agree on 4kids and they get them, then they can start family planning. However, its the mans prerogative to make the final decision if they don't agree on a number of kids and not the wife's. Also tell me in which part of the world only wife does family planning.

...and why wont i think women deserve a career? or haven't you seen where successful women combine both family and career almost effortlessly without making any fuse about it like you lots are doing?, a hallmark you can find only in unselfish and submissive women.

Now i will throw my question back at you again, where will you classify your 'its my body i do what i want' stance? medical? financial? where? be courteous enough to answer please

Okay, in order not to derail this thread, I've posted my response to this in the thread where this topic originated from, here: https://www.nairaland.com/1975528/pills-without-husband-consent/5#27791303

2CatWoman:


Erm, I was just shocked when you revealed yourself to be male especially after the lazy wife thread . It's all good though.

he's a she

^^^
Thanks, I was 99% sure she was especially after reading some of her comments .

Nice thread. At least we know there are a lot of happy marriages out there, irrespective of the number of bad ones you've seen.
I'm happily married too, to a most wonderful woman. And I pray God continues to bless us with so much happiness. We have a very cute daughter too.
From my point of view, people getting married need to come together and agree on the kind of marriage you want to have. Then, you have a reference point. If things are not working out as you planned, then you should try to know why (with God's help of course). Truth is that marriage is a lot of hard work (my ego is probably the biggest thing I've had to sacrifice for my marriage and it wasn't easy), but there's nothing as wonderful as a happy home, not even success or bucketloads of money.
I'm one of those who regularly read and pass in this section. The negativity is simply crazy. But I pray God will bring that healing touch to every family in need.

oluwaseunla:
Nice thread. At least we know there are a lot of happy marriages out there, irrespective of the number of bad ones you've seen.
I'm happily married too, to a most wonderful woman. And I pray God continues to bless us with so much happiness. We have a very cute daughter too.
From my point of view, people getting married need to come together and agree on the kind of marriage you want to have. Then, you have a reference point. If things are not working out as you planned, then you should try to know why (with God's help of course). Truth is that marriage is a lot of hard work (my ego is probably the biggest thing I've had to sacrifice for my marriage and it wasn't easy), but there's nothing as wonderful as a happy home, not even success or bucketloads of money.
I'm one of those who regularly read and pass in this section. The negativity is simply crazy. But I pray God will bring that healing touch to every family in need.

Amen and amen. True on agreeing on the kind of home you want and working towards it

I have heard so many repetitive words from a lot of posters male and female alike saying marriage requires a lot of hard work.

My question, what kind of hardwork or what is the definition of this hardwork?

Why must there be hardwork in a marriage? The word hardwork sounds like too much of a burden to carry.

I want to believe that marriage should be between two individuals who are sincere and will be sincere with each other throughout their lifetime. When there is sincerity of purpose and actions, things will be easier for couples and hardwork wouldn't be necessary.

Fairness, equity and openness are qualities that preserve a union without either of the party seeking how to outdo the other. Having these will make every home a praise on earth.

Potential couples should strive to understand each other very well so as to adopt methods and skills that will help build and cement their union.

Pride, either from the male or female, is a big recipe for destroying a union. Pride goeth before fall.


Getting unwholesome advice and counsels from people who do not seek the good of your home will only crash your union.

In summary, be sincere with each other in all things and so many things will come easy in your relationship.

Well said, Bellong.

I'm observing the dynamics of this thread so far

And it seems the blame for bad relationship has been subtly shifted to the men because the 'good men' have not stepped up to mentor the followers.

Interesting........


For a forum section most posters do not believe in male headship of the home, I wonder why these men are th cause of bad marriages.
What you should advocate is how to make the fuzzy partnership you lot espouse here practicable.


People should be consistent here

When LewsTherin spoke of communication and said all the right things he was feted.

Suddenly in the case of birth control and the fact that the woman may need to accede to the mans wishes If the issue persists.... His advice is not politically correct anymore.....few posts later...


What is the purpose of your thread OP

You just want a roll call of men to satisfy what exactly?

Both parties are needed to make a successful marriage
Making it about one person is myopic

aisha2:


Amen and amen. True on agreeing on the kind of home you want and working towards it

Agreeing isn't just enough aisha, its keeping to the agreement, that's if it wasn't built on lies and deceit in the first place. Remember in many cases, its not what you see on the outside when you get in.

In all, its the Grace of God.

EfemenaXY:


Okay, in order not to derail this thread, I've posted my response to this in the thread where this topic originated from, here: https://www.nairaland.com/1975528/pills-without-husband-consent/5#27791303

Deal

bellong:

I have heard so many repetitive words from a lot of posters male and female alike saying marriage requires a lot of hard work.
My question, what kind of hardwork or what is the definition of this hardwork?
Why must there be hardwork in a marriage? The word hardwork sounds like too much of a burden to carry.
I want to believe that marriage should be between two individuals who are sincere and will be sincere with each other throughout their lifetime. When there is sincerity of purpose and actions, things will be easier for couples and hardwork wouldn't be necessary.
Fairness, equity and openness are qualities that preserve a union without either of the party seeking how to outdo the other. Having these will make every home a praise on earth.
Potential couples should strive to understand each other very well so as to adopt methods and skills that will help build and cement their union.
Pride, either from the male or female, is a big recipe for destroying a union. Pride goeth before fall.
Getting unwholesome advice and counsels from people who do not seek the good of your home will only crash your union.
In summary, be sincere with each other in all things and so many things will come easy in your relationship.

Well sometimes marriage can be hard marriage can be easy. It differs for everyone, situations can change an easy marriage may face challenges eg loss of finances, loss of a child or change in situation hence it can be hatd work for some.
Unfortunately some people may have had a bad foundation and may now have to do double the work to get it on the right track
As long as both people involved are willing to learn, grow and weather the storm it may be hardwork but for the betterment of the family.

Some have it easy for some its harder. Earlier in my life i always wondered why everything seemed easy for most people while I had to struggle hard for every single thing. Now life is a lot easier but i always remember the hard days when i would cry and question God. I would always compare my life with people had it easier but now I know everyone has a different race and a different pace.

Our situations are different marriage may be hard for some and easy for some. I understand your point sha, people seem to make it generic that everyone must do plenty hard work to have a working marriage.

^^^ Change in circumstances shouldn't distort the fabric of a union founded on sincerity.

Beginning with sincerity is the first step to success. It is likened to building a house on a solid foundation that can withstand storms when it comes.

Yes, we all need to work on our relationships as none comes very easy but then the same work we put in making our relationships with friends survive is enough to hold a union provided the parties are sincere with themselves.

Having a bad foundation in marriage is strictly the fault of the parties involved and it can still be salvaged of they want it work without that strong word hard work.

Life is too short to die doing exercise...

bellong:

I have heard so many repetitive words from a lot of posters male and female alike saying marriage requires a lot of hard work.

My question, what kind of hardwork or what is the definition of this hardwork?

Why must there be hardwork in a marriage? The word hardwork sounds like too much of a burden to carry.

I want to believe that marriage should be between two individuals who are sincere and will be sincere with each other throughout their lifetime. When there is sincerity of purpose and actions, things will be easier for couples and hardwork wouldn't be necessary.

Fairness, equity and openness are qualities that preserve a union without either of the party seeking how to outdo the other. Having these will make every home a praise on earth.

Potential couples should strive to understand each other very well so as to adopt methods and skills that will help build and cement their union.

Pride, either from the male or female, is a big recipe for destroying a union. Pride goeth before fall.


Getting unwholesome advice and counsels from people who do not seek the good of your home will only crash your union.

In summary, be sincere with each other in all things and so many things will come easy in your relationship.

I agree with all the points you listed as recipe for a good marriage. There is however something to consider- the human factor. I believe most people know what is right, doing it is another matter entirely. As long as marriage is between two imperfect people, I feel hard work is necessary.
Hard work in my own sense means, getting out of your comfort zone; doing the exact opposite of lying low and letting things just happen.

Sometimes, what you feel like doing at a particular time may not be the best for the marriage, it may be good, but there may be a better option. Your constantly seeking ways to wow your partner, to look out for their happiness, to work on yourself to make your home a better place, to make even your partner a better person etc is what is termed hard work. Reason is because it is far easier (and selfish) to allow things proceed naturally. That's why many people will tuck tail and run at the first sign of trouble- because they are too lazy to stay and work on the relationship, or to look for ways to spice up their marriage.

Oh! And there is that little matter of periods of testing, when everything you hold as truth will be put under a strong examination. I think most marriages will have that at one point or the other. In those periods, you may need a little extra than 'love and sincerity', although those two will make it easier.

Take a look around, do you think people in failed marriages wish for it from the start? Have you not seen people who start up with the right intentions and 'love', find themselves pulling apart years down the line? That's why you can't stop 'working' on it. That's why I feel 'hard work' is also essential. I don't see it as a burden, just something necessary, but of course sincerity is a basic requirement before marriage, and it makes everything a lot easier.

bellong:
^^^ Change in circumstances shouldn't distort the fabric of a union founded on sincerity.
Beginning with sincerity is the first step to success. It is likened to building a house on a solid foundation that can withstand storms when it comes.
Yes, we all need to work on our relationships as none comes very easy but then the same work we put in making our relationships with friends survive is enough to hold a union provided the parties are sincere with themselves.
Having a bad foundation in marriage is strictly the fault of the parties involved and it can still be salvaged of they want it work without that strong word hard work.
Life is too short to die doing exercise...

Let me give a practical example. Am listening to radio and a couple married 23 years ago, 2 years into the marriage husband has a spinal cord injury and for 21 years his wife has been the one cleaning bathing feeding and caring for him. Is this an easy marriage?

oluwaseunla:
Nice thread. At least we know there are a lot of happy marriages out there, irrespective of the number of bad ones you've seen.
I'm happily married too, to a most wonderful woman. And I pray God continues to bless us with so much happiness. We have a very cute daughter too.
From my point of view, people getting married need to come together and agree on the kind of marriage you want to have. Then, you have a reference point. If things are not working out as you planned, then you should try to know why (with God's help of course). Truth is that marriage is a lot of hard work (my ego is probably the biggest thing I've had to sacrifice for my marriage and it wasn't easy), but there's nothing as wonderful as a happy home, not even success or bucketloads of money.
I'm one of those who regularly read and pass in this section. The negativity is simply crazy. But I pray God will bring that healing touch to every family in need.

Thank you very much. Please do comment more Sir. I understand that the negativity in this section is much and can discourage you from replying. Hopefully with replies from people like you, it will get better.

bellong:

I have heard so many repetitive words from a lot of posters male and female alike saying marriage requires a lot of hard work.

My question, what kind of hardwork or what is the definition of this hardwork?

Why must there be hardwork in a marriage? The word hardwork sounds like too much of a burden to carry.

I want to believe that marriage should be between two individuals who are sincere and will be sincere with each other throughout their lifetime. When there is sincerity of purpose and actions, things will be easier for couples and hardwork wouldn't be necessary.

Fairness, equity and openness are qualities that preserve a union without either of the party seeking how to outdo the other. Having these will make every home a praise on earth.

Potential couples should strive to understand each other very well so as to adopt methods and skills that will help build and cement their union.

Pride, either from the male or female, is a big recipe for destroying a union. Pride goeth before fall.


Getting unwholesome advice and counsels from people who do not seek the good of your home will only crash your union.

In summary, be sincere with each other in all things and so many things will come easy in your relationship.

I sincerely think we need to open a new thread to ask the 'hardworkers' the work they are doing

Oluwaseunla,

I understand your points and your last statement shows we are on the same page.

Aisha2,

It is not easy but it became easy for the wife because she married the man sincerely. The injury was no fault of his.

Do you think the wife would have endured this long if the man had had the injury during one of his "sexcapades " with harems?

The fact that they built their home on a solid foundation makes the challenge a not too difficult one.

My stand remains irrespective of challenges faced, marriages can still be heaven on earth during periods of wilderness depending on the parties involved.

We have too many problems because we are way too selfish that simple compromise is something too difficult for some to do.

Is it not on this same section, many females abhor their mother-in-law without reason. They only want to be married to their husbands and the mother shouldn't come visiting at all. How will such a union stand?

bukatyne:


I sincerely think we need to open a new thread to ask the 'hardworkers' the work they are doing

A detailed explanation would be welcomed. The hard work in real sense is not hard work.

I

bellong:
Oluwaseunla,
I understand your points and your last statement shows we are on the same page.
Aisha2,
It is not easy but it became easy for the wife because she married the man sincerely. The injury was no fault of his.
Do you think the wife would have endured this long if the man had had the injury during one of his "sexcapades " with harems?
The fact that they built their home on a solid foundation makes the challenge a not too difficult one.
My stand remains irrespective of challenges faced, marriages can still be heaven on earth during periods of wilderness depending on the parties involved.
We have too many problems because we are way too selfish that simple compromise is something too difficult for some to do.
Is it not on this same section, many females abhor their mother-in-law without reason. They only want to be married to their husbands and the mother shouldn't come visiting at all. How will such a union stand?

You make great points, if he hadnt treated her well she may have left.

As for mother in law issues, " many" is a bit of an exaggeration. Some I would agree with.

@okotv:

How are you?

Happy Birthday in arrears.

It is well with you and God will crown all your efforts with success in Jesus Name

Cococandy, kpachara any gi dia o!
I go wuzaaa u o

Since u guys doubt my genuineness,my hear is broken
I will go
That's very unfair u know

Bellong see what u caused.
Coconut head
Goodmorning!