yahx:
Please read and share your thoughts.....................

''I'm a divorced lady. My marriage to my ex was based on lots of deceit with
both physical and emotional abuse. The only option was just for it to be
dissolved. Mind you I prayed and fasted but water could not just hold. I
had to question God for putting me through such pain and trauma but I guess his plan for me was for good.

But my problem now is each time I meet someone nice and I mention to hi that I'm divorced, the relationship ends. He'll apologize and say I've done
nothing wrong, I have a good personality but he knows his family will not accept me cos of my marital status.

It makes me cry a lot. I'm the quiet
type and keep to myself a lot. I've tried talking to some people and they
advice I stop telling them am divorced.

But how will I keep such a thing away from someone that has maybe
professed love to you even when the person has gone to the extent of
telling you he'll like to spend the rest of his life with you?

My conscience won't let me but I don't know again the right thing to do.

Right now I feel lonely and frustrated, no boyfriend or man to call my
own. Scared of loving again because I don't want to fall in love and be
told same thing.

I just want to know how to go about it, open up or don't even talk about
it.''

Second hand ladies r usually a bad market

U stand a better chance if u r below 28, educated n working class with no child frm d first marriage.

Anything short of d above na Jesus go marry u

Keep praying n hoping sha

yahx:
Please read and share your thoughts.....................

''I'm a divorced lady. My marriage to my ex was based on lots of deceit with
both physical and emotional abuse. The only option was just for it to be
dissolved. Mind you I prayed and fasted but water could not just hold. I
had to question God for putting me through such pain and trauma but I guess his plan for me was for good.

But my problem now is each time I meet someone nice and I mention to hi that I'm divorced, the relationship ends. He'll apologize and say I've done
nothing wrong, I have a good personality but he knows his family will not accept me cos of my marital status.

It makes me cry a lot. I'm the quiet
type and keep to myself a lot. I've tried talking to some people and they
advice I stop telling them am divorced.

But how will I keep such a thing away from someone that has maybe
professed love to you even when the person has gone to the extent of
telling you he'll like to spend the rest of his life with you?

My conscience won't let me but I don't know again the right thing to do.

[b]Right now I feel lonely and frustrated, no boyfriend or man to call my
own. [/b]Scared of loving again because I don't want to fall in love and be
told same thing.

I just want to know how to go about it, open up or don't even talk about
it.''

Why do you feel you need a man to call your own to be happy? Don't get me wrong, yes having a man is great but this shouldn't be the source of your happiness. Something I've learnt in life, when you are 100% happy being single, that's when you're ready for a relationship. Learn to fall in love with you first!

I have a cousin who got married after getting a divorce and she even had a son. So it isn't you being divorced that is the problem, men smell desperation from afar and desperation isn't attractive.

Why not settle for a matured person both mentally and physically

So many mens are passing through the same pain, once I told any lady that I am a single parent, they avoid me systematically, no amount of pressure will make me subjected to my conscience, keep telling them the true, don't hide anything, don't be to anxious, what will be your will definitely be your....but mind you, this life is mistry.

victorD3:
Why not settle for a matured person both mentally and physically

on point

ogawisdom:


Second hand ladies r usually a bad market

U stand a better chance if u r below 28, educated n working class with no child frm d first marriage.

Anything short of d above na Jesus go marry u

Keep praying n hoping sha

nobi me am a dude just shared the story

yahx:
nobi me am a dude just shared the story

U r her messager so deliver d message to her

Op don't worry keep saying the truth it's good you have a clear conscience but meanwhile who is feat na? He is in every song

marc99:
Stop telling them about your past. Rather, tell them more about your present, and your future.

Don't forget what the bible says. It says, 'when a man be in Christ, old things are past away,........he's a new creature.
==============================

Any man you disclose your marital status to and chickens out is actually not a good man for you. In fact, you should keep telling them about your past, it's a way of identifying the real man.

And does your bible also approve of divorce? or has the condition when a lady can re-marry after a divorce been changed? You might want to rephrase the context you are writing from and stop mis-quoting the bible.

LadyX:
Don't wait for too long or to get attached before saying the truth. If I were the lady in question, I would probably say it on day one.

read the post again, na lady nau

ELGREF:
So many mens are passing through the same pain, once I told any lady that I am a single parent, they avoid me systematically, no amount of pressure will make me subjected to my conscience, keep telling them the true, don't hide anything, don't be to anxious, what will be your will definitely be your....but mind you, this life is mistry.

guy, even your english is enough to make them run, but why!!!

LadyX:
Don't wait for too long or to get attached before saying the truth. If I were the lady in question, I would probably say it on day one.

Why I sympathize with this lady, I strongly believe the solution lies with herself. She said she didn't do anything wrong, is she being honest with herself cos am sure there is more to it. However, if she is damn sure that she is not the problem, then there is solution

What's the solution? It is complete honesty and openess from day one. Even before they get fond of each other. She shouldn't hid her past. She should be ready to be patient till someone who is willing to stay will stay and more importantly, since she said she isn't the problem, her good character should be intact. That's all that's needed.

Oh! One more thing, she needs to be prayerful too

For those that think your past won't haunt you, here is an instance now. So be careful what you do today cos your moro would be affected. Buhari, learn from this.... It's your past that is affecting you today ooooo

TELL THEM PLS. D true 1 will stay

harkindele:

hehehe!...bliv me, its neva too late for a man

Probability

yahx:
Please read and share your thoughts.....................

''I'm a divorced lady. My marriage to my ex was based on lots of deceit with
both physical and emotional abuse. The only option was just for it to be
dissolved. Mind you I prayed and fasted but water could not just hold. I
had to question God for putting me through such pain and trauma but I guess his plan for me was for good.

But my problem now is each time I meet someone nice and I mention to hi that I'm divorced, the relationship ends. He'll apologize and say I've done
nothing wrong, I have a good personality but he knows his family will not accept me cos of my marital status.

It makes me cry a lot. I'm the quiet
type and keep to myself a lot. I've tried talking to some people and they
advice I stop telling them am divorced.

But how will I keep such a thing away from someone that has maybe
professed love to you even when the person has gone to the extent of
telling you he'll like to spend the rest of his life with you?

My conscience won't let me but I don't know again the right thing to do.

Right now I feel lonely and frustrated, no boyfriend or man to call my
own. Scared of loving again because I don't want to fall in love and be
told same thing.

I just want to know how to go about it, open up or don't even talk about
it.''

I don't wanna sound too religious but I wud still contribute ma own little quota sha.

What u have to know is dat "truth" is the only way forward n I don't tink its best to "lie" to someone u claim to love in as much as we humans aint perfect. Ur case is sensitive, yes I know but my candid advice is dat u let dem know d truth about u. Tell dem! Tell dem!! Tell dem!!! It is painful, I know but trust in Gods word. U may feel d pain now but when ur time to shine comes, u wud look back to ur years of pain n say thank u Lord.

Honestly its not easy to persevere n b patient at times but well I believe in ma heart dat one way or another , u wud surely meet he dat wud love n respect u for who u are regardless of ur status or ur past. Don't let ur past weigh u down( e no easy o) but keep d faith alive n aat d end u would sing a new song. A song of joy, happiness n victory.

Bottom line, trust God wholeheartedly....but I wud tel u d truth its not gona be easy cos there wud b times wen tins wud go really bad but trust God. Trust God. Trust God. Dis might b a test phase for u n ur faith.

Summary....trust God n also tell any man dat wants to date u about ur divorced status. Do not b ashamed, everyone has a past. Like d saying goes, every saint u see today was once a sinner yestday (e.g saul) if truly he is God sent, even if u were divorced 5 times, he wudnt mind. D future is what matters as long as u ride on with Christ.

My candid advice...sorry for d long epistle

Whoever takes a woman who left(divource) her husband commit adultry, thatz from Bible. Which man wants to be under guilt for the rest of his life? It is even better to marry a widow than to marry a divorce woman. "PLEASE ladies if you noticed any thing in a man that you cannot endure long better quit. Broken relationship is far better than broken marriagem. And for the OP please find a way of going back to your husband and enjoy all the things you are running away from. Remember u promised " for better for worse" with plenty "I DO"

Dedewizzy:


And does your bible also approve of divorce? or has the condition when a lady can re-marry after a divorce been changed? You might want to rephrase the context you are writing from and stop mis-quoting the bible.

Young man, the bible is discreet. If a lady is under duress in her marriage, if her life is under a threat in her marriage, or the man insists on parting ways with her, that's the part the bible is discreet about.

Maybe you should get a comprehensive version of the bible and read what it says about divorce.

...If a man puts away his wife for 'no just cause', then it's a sin. But if there's a 'just cause', say like a life threat, then such divorce is right.

I can accept her, what happen to her can happen to anyone. It is her past!

Quote author=Bluetooth2 post=31508536]

[size=20pt] Can you accept her ? [/size][/quote]

EggovinMma:
Booked

HEY NA WA OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
YOU TOLD THEM AND THE LOVE VANISHES.Then stop telling them na, better decieve them else you will remain unhappy.Even if you want to reveal the secret, do it after 20 yrs of marriage. .

Habaaaa Now dis is bad advice naaa....if dey love vanishes den dey neva really loved her too well. Haba Decieve dem? No now its not proper...relationship based on lies? Haba naaaa? After 20yrs Chaiiiiii

"What if" he finds out before den? Yet anoda divorce on her head if he can't stand d lie.

What if he dosent till 20yrs time Hmmm den her conscience is dead b dat ooooo.


She should tell dem ooooo before dey marry jare

hush15:


Why I sympathize with this lady, I strongly believe the solution lies with herself. She said she didn't do anything wrong, is she being honest with herself cos am sure there is more to it. However, if she is damn sure that she is not the problem, then there is solution

What's the solution? It is complete honesty and openess from day one. Even before they get fond of each other. She shouldn't hid her past. She should be ready to be patient till someone who is willing to stay will stay and more importantly, since she said she isn't the problem, her good character should be intact. That's all that's needed.

Oh! One more thing, she needs to be prayerful too

For those that think your past won't haunt you, here is an instance now. So be careful what you do today cos your moro would be affected. Buhari, learn from this.... It's your past that is affecting you today ooooo

Good point.

Your last 2 sentences left me laughing

Timing is really important in dis kinda situation, such sudnt be disclosed too early in a relationship nor too late, d man needs to love u for ur personality Ist b4 he can handle loving u for ur past

Then she should not be hasty about revealing her past.

Try n locate a man who's divorced too n who's ready to mingle..

Do u still pray? If yes,...Note that your time is never God's.
Also, what i have discovered is that wen humans design paths, we expect God to brighten it. We should learn to "wait, having done all".
My Dear Sister, Please..a yoruba adage says, an ember fire cant burn one twice! but I think it could if we are impatient.
According to the Book.."War and Peace"...The deadlist weapons in life are "time and patience", always pray and be patient.
I cant fathom what U are going thru but please keep telling the truth about yourself, pray about any relationship u ar going into and wait for God's guidance.

Don't worry dear. Your honesty helps you sift the chaff from the grain, the weeds from the wheat. Only one who sees and truly appreciates your inner beauty will do.

1Cor. 7v10-11 has d answer; Reconcile 2 ur hubby or remain unmarid (if u r a xtian).

hi i like to thank God for ur life. see no 1without a past.since u are sincere very soon God will link u up to the bone of ur bone and flesh of ur flesh. ur period of waiting shall b ova soon. just keep trusting God he did not forget u i believe. goodluck

No guy wants to date a Lady whereby her ex would show a lot of face

@ op,dont tell them u GOT DIVORCED,tell them u DIVORCED.

Mhmm...nostalgic.

yahx:
Please read and share your thoughts.....................

''I'm a divorced lady. My marriage to my ex was based on lots of deceit with
both physical and emotional abuse. The only option was just for it to be
dissolved. ¹ Mind you I prayed and fasted but water could not just hold . ² I
had to question God for putting me through such pain and trauma but I guess his plan for me was for good.

But my problem now is ³ each time I meet someone nice and I mention to hi that I'm divorced, the relationship ends. He'll apologize and say I've done
nothing wrong, I have a good personality but he knows his family will not accept me cos of my marital status.

It makes me cry a lot. I'm the quiet
type and keep to myself a lot. I've tried talking to some people and they
advice I stop telling them am divorced.

But how will I keep such a thing away from someone that has maybe
professed love to you even when the person has gone to the extent of
telling you he'll like to spend the rest of his life with you?

My conscience won't let me but I don't know again the right thing to do.

Right now I feel lonely and frustrated, no boyfriend or man to call my
own. Scared of loving again because I don't want to fall in love and be
told same thing.

I just want to know how to go about it, open up or don't even talk about
it.''

sister me no go lie you o!

On your comment 1 God is nt deaf and dumb. If your hands are clean, there'r no generational transfers and you fast the Isaiah58 kind of fast, your husband would be in your arms right now!

On your comment 2 you are playing the Adam card and that's dangerful. Did God choose that man for you? or did you simply follow the money, TDH, job, position, family advice or friend's advice? Well if God choose him and you made VOWS before God, a covenant, then with that VOW you could've crushed every force, seen or unseen, making your marriage hellish!

On your comment 3 put yourself in the shoes of any right thinking man would you marry a divorced lady? Apart from the fact that scripture forbids it (Mark10:10-11) that man would ask a very vital question: how sure am i that the very same factors that resulted in your divorce would not play out again when i marry you? his answer to this question would send him away instantly or make him accept you!

sister go to God again, respect those vows (they are potent), kick the strange woman out in prayer, take over what belongs to you!

easier said than done...but that's the way!

@ Op you are hiding something. I can't just imagine all the guys that comes around you running away,whenever you tell them you were once married. I think you should come out plain tell us more and we can profer a good advice. Pertinent questions- do you have a child/children; reason(s) for annulment of the marriage; has the bride price been collected by your Ex... so many questions just come out straight and don't try and act the 'saint' here okay