This is about dis gurl ive bin asking out for a while now. I do love her very much nd she claims she loves me too. She wont let me in2 her heart bc of a previous heart break, yet she won't let me out of her life, so i'm stuck in-bw. Wot am I supose to do. Advice nided pls.

ogbenichoky: This is about dis gurl ive bin asking out for a while now. I do love her very much nd she claims she loves me too. She wont let me in2 her heart bc of a previous heart break, yet she won't let me out of her life, so i'm stuck in-bw. Wot am I supose to do. Advice nided pls.

give her time to think and recover from the previous heart break. "You cant be a fool twice"

ogbenichoky: This is about dis gurl ive bin asking out for a while now. I do love her very much nd she claims she loves me too. She wont let me in2 her heart bc of a previous heart break, yet she won't let me out of her life, so i'm stuck in-bw. Wot am I supose to do. Advice nided pls.

bro, you are NOT stuck anywhere, you MADE THE DECISION to be stuck and remain there like a donkey (with all due respect)....this girl has emotional issues that she needs to resolve ON HER OWN. the fact that you are desperately waiting is all on you, and your own downfall. a girl tells you that she aint ready? YOU MOVE!!! why would you be waiting since you dont know how deep her issues are (aka how long she will be making you wait like a donkey)?
some bros get time for these emotionally damaged girls o!

Just give her space and time to heal herself and stop acting like some love stuck child

Dont wait on the sidelines for her. For you to wait is not a shoe-in that she will accept.

You can wait and before you know it, she will move past you and start going out with another guy. then you will really be stuck. Move on

Tell her she has a week to make up her mind,or else you walking away.

Trust me she doesnt want to remain a celibate her whole life,she will make a decision in the end,then you know you fate,and if she doesnt you move on

She needs to heal, if u realy love her, u'd help her heal, only then can she reciprocate the love. U don't want to be involvd wit her in her current state, it will be disastrous.

^^^^^ gree-die said it well. If you really care, then give her time and help her too.

ogbenichoky: This is about dis gurl ive bin asking out for a while now. I do love her very much nd she claims she loves me too. She wont let me in2 her heart bc of a previous heart break, yet she won't let me out of her life, so i'm stuck in-bw. Wot am I supose to do. Advice nided pls.

hope you have what it takes to sustain the love? If not please rethink your moves cos most insecure ladies see the issue of love as you taking over all her humanly needs...... If she is independent and secure, allow her some space to make her own decision and if otherwise induce her with material things. All the best.

Thanks y'all for ur inputs, ive learned alot so far nd i think i knw what to do nw.

Gosh! Alot of pple keep writing, give her time to heal blah blah blah.. What kinda healing does she crave if not for you to play the role of helping her get out of the heartbreak finally? And how do u hope to help mend her heart if not to let u in? Like it is said, the best way to mend a broken heart is to fall in love again. Abi na 4 hospital them dy mend heartbreak? My guy, let her knw she has to let go and give u the chance to make her love again. One more thing is, u chose to get urself stucked amid all these. If u like u wait until forever or act accordingly if she fails to let go.

gree-die:
She needs to heal, if u realy love her, u'd help her heal, only then can she reciprocate the love. U don't want to be involvd wit her in her current state, it will be disastrous.

I disagree. I will advice the op to take whatever she say with a grain of salt.

Girls are wrongly wired such that they dont understand themselves.

A girl that once told be that she isnt ready for a relationship not up to two months and the way she said it, I thought oh this is a focused person and just want to take her time. So, I decided to give her the time and be friend with her because I also felt that a good,valuable and quality relationship starts as friendship.

Guess what? She just told me she is in love with someone else. I asked her how long has this been going, she said for a while.

I didnt feel bad because I have learnt in the hard way that girls are like mad people acting normal. It's like a mad person tell you he isnt insane. Sorry if you find my analogy offensive but that is the best way to pass my message.

Truely, I really liked this girl but I also learnt not to rely on a lady because they are emotionally unreliable.

Several months back, one also said she just want be alone and that she doesn't want to be in a relationship blah blah blah... And so, she ended the relationship.

A few months later, my friend so her with another guy far off my area with the guy arms around her waist. This happened while I was still in school. Now am done with school stuff.

With the way I am now, I have zero attraction to any girl no matter her beauty. To be honest, I am even scared the way I feel now cos I doubt any girl could move me even if she is N .a .k .e .d.

And I don't mean to disrespect the ladies... To each his own.

MRbrownJAY:

bro, you are NOT stuck anywhere, you MADE THE DECISION to be stuck and remain there like a donkey (with all due respect)....this girl has emotional issues that she needs to resolve ON HER OWN. the fact that you are desperately waiting is all on you, and your own downfall. a girl tells you that she aint ready? YOU MOVE!!! why would you be waiting since you dont know how deep her issues are (aka how long she will be making you wait like a donkey)?
some bros get time for these emotionally damaged girls o!

best advice so far. @ op, do u hv any guarantee that she will let in after she's done healing herself? Pls follow the above advice for ur own good. Let her come looking for u and not u waiting for her.
Just my 2 cents

uboma:

best advice so far. @ op, do u hv any guarantee that she will let in after she's done healing herself? Pls follow the above advice for ur own good. Let her come looking for u and not u waiting for her.
Just my 2 cents

That is why I often respect MRBrownJay. No time.

forget her joor.. the girl is purposely playing on ur emotions..and dats cruel and self centered. She knows you love her., why is she still acting so selfish claiming she wants to heal. How can u heal if you don't let someone help you?? Abeg give her space jare..do like say you no even see her. If she really loves you, she'll come calling back. No time..just like someone said

190-the-clown:
have you tried using money to influence her brain

please do especially if shes nigerian

what can one do to change dis guy's opinion on nigerian girls??

Move on.

ogbenichoky: This is about dis gurl ive bin asking out for a while now. I do love her very much nd she claims she loves me too. She wont let me in2 her heart bc of a previous heart break, yet she won't let me out of her life, so i'm stuck in-bw. Wot am I supose to do. Advice nided pls.

This is too shallow to judge. Few questions.

1.What caused the heartbreak? Cz some take longer to heal than others because no pieces were left,only ash. How fast it takes to heal, depends on the efforts made by an individual towards achieving it.
So if all she does is moan and dwell in her past,she ain't gonna move an inch and that is tiring,exhausting to the mind and to everybody else she interacts with in real life. You want to help her? then tell her to close the door to her past and open the one to her future.

2.Understand that her present actions are signs that she hasn't overcome the heartbreak.The result of this is; you must be prepared to share her heart with somebody else,a pretty uncomfortable situation.
You don't want to be out having a nice dinner and then a reminder about her ex's fav dish.

I know shes scared of another heartbreak but let her know that she's got options.
1. Give herself a break before dating again. Until she sees her ex as just another guy, rather than an enemy, she hasn't healed yet.
2. She must be willing to date again with all the risks involved.Life is not a smooth road at all. What she needs to carry along into the next relationship are lessons learnt, not garbage from previous relationships cz nobody wants that.

Finally,if she can't soften up but insists on clinging to the past,then Move on.You don't get stuck cz somebody else chooses to, you will both die.

k2039: Tell her she has a week to make up her mind,or else you walking away.

Trust me she doesnt want to remain a celibate her whole life,she will make a decision in the end,then you know you fate,and if she doesnt you move on

Your

ogbenichoky: Thanks y'all for ur inputs, ive learned alot so far nd i think i knw what to do nw.

A lot

^^Anti gbagaun's wife

fairygeh: ^^Anti gbagaun's wife

I wonder where they met

booqee: forget her joor.. the girl is purposely playing on ur emotions..and dats cruel and self centered. She knows you love her., why is she still acting so selfish claiming she wants to heal. How can u heal if you don't let someone help you?? Abeg give her space jare..do like say you no even see her. If she really loves you, she'll come calling back. No time..just like someone said
what can one do to change dis guy's opinion on nigerian girls??

My sister, you can't blame 190. I am also a victim. It's so bad that my heart is almost dead to feelings for any girl at the moment. I am even scared of myself at the moment so that I don't end up hurting someone. It will take a whole lot work for any serious lady to bring me back.

Even the girl I am with now also contributed to it because initially when I was after her, she did abuse my rights for being cool. Though I told her about my previous experience but out wanting to prove what I don't know, she added to my injury.

Now she wants a relationship and we are in it, at the same time I don't feel anything anymore. This might make the relationship boring. I havent felt like calling her for some days.

This is what heartbreak has caused. I am not attracted to any girl no matter her beauty. I knew it will come to this, I forsaw it and strived to find a girl that will stand by me now and not when I am made because in no distant time and by God's grace, I am getting employment into an oil firm.

Tell me the fate of any girl that may come way after series of heartbreak.

I don't even have that hope of finding one any longer. Getting married is the last thing on my mind now, but I had high hope for this sometime ago.

I am in a turmoil now and I don't want to put any girl through what I have experienced. I could go on but it's not worth it.

Mynd_44:
I wonder where they met

. Might evÉn bÉ the same person

2sexy: My sister, you can't blame 190. I am also a victim. It's so bad that my heart is almost dead to feelings for any girl at the moment. I am even scared of myself at the moment so that I don't end up hurting someone. It will take a whole lot work for any serious lady to bring me back.

Even the girl I am with now also contributed to it because initially when I was after her, she did abuse my rights for being cool. Though I told her about my previous experience but out wanting to prove what I don't know, she added to my injury.

Now she wants a relationship and we are in it, at the same time I don't feel anything anymore. This might make the relationship boring. I havent felt like calling her for some days.

This is what heartbreak has caused. I am not attracted to any girl no matter her beauty. I knew it will come to this, I forsaw it and strived to find a girl that will stand by me now and not when I am made because in no distant time and by God's grace, I am getting employment into an oil firm.

Tell me the fate of any girl that may come way after series of heartbreak.

I don't even have that hope of finding one any longer. Getting married is the last thing on my mind now, but I had high hope for this sometime ago.

I am in a turmoil now and I don't want to put any girl through what I have experienced. I could go on but it's not worth it.

Mehn i feel you bruv... Buh u have to try as much as u can to work on this deficiency. I think we are kinda like minded on this. I am avoiding any form of commitment with a gurl because I've discovered that most gurlz dont deserve someone like me. I was telling a very close friend of mine that I ain't ready for a relationship because I dont want to be commited since I wont like to invest my time, emotions, and other resources in making d gurl a beta person and at the end of the day, everything will go down the drain. Well, its not as if I've been heart-broken before. Infact! No gurl can break my heart, I'm invulnerable to heartbreaks. The thing is, what people experience and term heartbreak, I have experienced such 2 buh I dont see it that way because I was never hurt. Well, its a gimmick. In terms of loving, I love with the full strength of my heart, even at that it would be hard for a gurl to hurt me cuz when you think u av done ur worst, 2 me u av not started. Anywayz, I will ever remain a gud guy and never turn bad, thats the more reason I dont need someone that will tend to push me to the wall and make me want to change my policy.

Guy! Try as much as u can to re-trace ur footsteps to the point when u use to love and have feelings but try also to apply gimmicks that will make u invulnerable to heartbreaks.. I wish u well and wish myself same...

dmcdad:

Mehn i feel you bruv... Buh u have to try as much as u can to work on this deficiency. I think we are kinda like minded on this. I am avoiding any form of commitment with a gurl because I've discovered that most gurlz dont deserve someone like me. I was telling a very close friend of mine that I ain't ready for a relationship because I dont want to be commited since I wont like to invest my time, emotions, and other resources in making d gurl a beta person and at the end of the day, everything will go down the drain. Well, its not as if I've been heart-broken before. Infact! No gurl can break my heart, I'm invulnerable to heartbreaks. The thing is, what people experience and term heartbreak, I have experienced such 2 buh I dont see it that way because I was never hurt. Well, its a gimmick. In terms of loving, I love with the full strength of my heart, even at that it would be hard for a gurl to hurt me cuz when you think u av done ur worst, 2 me u av not started. Anywayz, I will ever remain a gud guy and never turn bad, thats the more reason I dont need someone that will tend to push me to the wall and make me want to change my policy.

Guy! Try as much as u can to re-trace ur footsteps to the point when u use to love and have feelings but try also to apply gimmicks that will make u invulnerable to heartbreaks.. I wish u well and wish myself same...

guy relax. no girl is worth it, particularly the current generation of Nigerian girls. they are all out for their own self-centred gains. it's always about what you have to offer them and their diminutive brains forget so easily. they hardly reflect about the good tyms you had with them when things get rough for you. they expect gifts on daily basis and expect you to call and send recharge cards to their phones as if MTN is your family business. many of them can't confidently cite instances of when 'for once' they made meaningful sacrifices for their man. - always quick to jump to another man who can lure them with material things and compare you with other guys.

have you ever stopped to wonder why guys with nice rides sweep them off their feet with unbelievable ease? a girl once told a friend of mine that she can't date a guy who doesn't have a car o! that was about 2yrs ago. apparently she was trying to let him know she cant date him o! i advised him not to bug himself over her. today, my friend has 2 sweet rides. The last tym we spoke on phone, he told me about how relentlessly the same lady has been making overtures of friendship/relationship to him, and asking him why he no longer cares about her. this was after she gave the girl a ride in his '09 BMW. she was all full of praises and admiration for my friend. to make matters worse for her, my friend instantly told her that that's his second car, the first being an 06 4Runner (his elder bro in US sent to him about the same time he bought his BMW which he wants to sell)

I guess OP is probably not loaded with spondulicks, solid brass . If he were, I bet ya', that girl wont think twice about screaming 'yes'.''heart break'' kor, headbreak nii..''time to recover'' my luvless ass* many (with the exception of an infinitecimal few)9ja babes only understand the pecuniary language. the ones who are not after money are usually either working class or prolly from wealthy homes. the problem with such ladies from the wealthy side again, relates to attitude. they feel they are comfortable, no man should order them around, they are not ready to take instructions from any man, humility is not in their dictionary, neither will they allow any man as lord over them. they are often very loutish and they prattle at the slightest provocation. those ones are even worse. little wonder you see them ageing without a stable relationship, rather it's series of heartbreak they lament about. then they harp about men being jerks.

9ja babes get wahala no be small. a re-orientation is needed as fast as possible to change their mindset about what luv really means. one thing I notice is that they are usually very quick to blab about 9ja guys being jerks and not being romantic. In such cases, I ask the how romantic are the ladies themselves. no man will want to lose a woman with virtues. I have resolved to desensitise my emotions when dealing with them. I' more or less emotionally numb now o! they are not just worth it. I know many will criticise my post as generalising these issues to all girls, but sadly, it's the truth. our generation of girls have lost it.

pato405:

guy relax. no girl is worth it, particularly the current generation of Nigerian girls. they are all out for their own self-centred gains. it's always about what you have to offer them and their diminutive brains forget so easily. they hardly reflect about the good tyms you had with them when things get rough for you. they expect gifts on daily basis and expect you to call and send recharge cards to their phones as if MTN is your family business. many of them can't confidently cite instances of when 'for once' they made meaningful sacrifices for their man. - always quick to jump to another man who can lure them with material things and compare you with other guys.

have you ever stopped to wonder why guys with nice rides sweep the off their feet with unbelievable ease? a girl once told a friend of mine that she can't date a guy who doesn't have a car o! that was about 2yrs ago. apparently she was trying to let him know she cant date him o! i advised him not to bug himself over her. today, my friend has 2 sweet rides. The last tym we spoke on phone, he told me about how relentlessly the same lady has been making overtures of friendship/relationship to him, and asking him why he no longer cares about her. this was after she gave the girl a ride in his '09 BMW. she was all full of praises and admiration for my friend. to make matters worse for her, my friend instantly told her that that's his second car, the first being an 06 4Runner (his elder bro in US sent to him about the same time he bought his BMW which he wants to sell)

I guess OP is probably not loaded with spondulicks, solid brass . If he were, I bet ya', that girl wont think twice about screaming 'yes'.''heart break'' kor, headbreak nii..''time to recover'' my luvless ass* many (with the exception of an infinitecimal few)9ja babes only understand the pecuniary language. the ones who are not after money are usually either working class or prolly from wealthy homes. the problem with such ladies from the wealthy side again, relates to attitude. they feel they are comfortable, no man should order them around, they are not ready to take instructions from any man, humility is not in their dictionary, neither will they allow any man as lord over them. they are often very loutish and they prattle at the slightest provocation. those ones are even worse. little wonder you see them ageing without a stable relationship, rather it's series of heartbreak they lament about. then they harp about men being jerks.

9ja babes get wahala no be small. a re-orientation is needed as fast as possible to change their mindset about what luv really means. one thing I notice is that they are usually very quick to blab about 9ja guys being jerks and not being romantic. In such cases, I ask the how romantic are the ladies themselves. no man will want to lose a woman with virtues. I have resolved to desensitise my emotions when dealing with them. I' more or less emotionally numb now o! they are not just worth it. I know many will criticise my post as generalising these issues to all girls, but sadly, it's the truth. our generation of girls have lost it.

You damn right bruv.. U r emotionally numb? It seems its not just about I myself & @2sexy, u are now included. Lol. Welcum 2 d club of "NO TIME FOR EMOTIONS" GALZ BEWARE!!!

2sexy: I disagree. I will advice the op to take whatever she say with a grain of salt.

Girls are wrongly wired such that they dont understand themselves.

A girl that once told be that she isnt ready for a relationship not up to two months and the way she said it, I thought oh this is a focused person and just want to take her time. So, I decided to give her the time and be friend with her because I also felt that a good,valuable and quality relationship starts as friendship.

Guess what? She just told me she is in love with someone else. I asked her how long has this been going, she said for a while.

I didnt feel bad because I have learnt in the hard way that girls are like mad people acting normal. It's like a mad person tell you he isnt insane. Sorry if you find my analogy offensive but that is the best way to pass my message.

Truely, I really liked this girl but I also learnt not to rely on a lady because they are emotionally unreliable.

Several months back, one also said she just want be alone and that she doesn't want to be in a relationship blah blah blah... And so, she ended the relationship.

A few months later, my friend so her with another guy far off my area with the guy arms around her waist. This happened while I was still in school. Now am done with school stuff.

With the way I am now, I have zero attraction to any girl no matter her beauty. To be honest, I am even scared the way I feel now cos I doubt any girl could move me even if she is N .a .k .e .d.

And I don't mean to disrespect the ladies... To each his own.

I can c u er heartbroken.Sincerely u need some healing(psychological and emotional).I was once in dis same shoe.

Smuthx: Dont wait on the sidelines for her. For you to wait is not a shoe-in that she will accept.

You can wait and before you know it, she will move past you and start going out with another guy. then you will really be stuck. Move on

exactly! That's what I once experienced and all she could say is sorry, that the other had been around earlier than me. Blah blah... Fvck daughters of eve.

eduson002: I can c u er heartbroken.Sincerely u need some healing(psychological and emotional).I was once in dis same shoe.

I dont even know what to do anymore... My heart has turned into a stone in last few days. Every girl I see now is a male to me--no attraction. Every damn thing is dead. I have lost it all. It's like my heart is now in coma... Seriously!

My pain now is that I knew that once I become financially bouyant in terms of getting a job, it would be worse. I dont want to hurt anyone and I may just back out of the relationship I am in now.

2sexy: I dont even know what to do anymore... My heart has turned into a stone in last few days. Every girl I see now is a male to me--no attraction. Every damn thing is dead. I have lost it all. It's like my heart is now in coma... Seriously!

My pain now is that I knew that once I become financially bouyant in terms of getting a job, it would be worse. I dont want to hurt anyone and I may just back out of the relationship I am in now.

in red: that's the more reason why most rich guys whom they clamour after use and dump them. many of such wealthy guys were never given a chance when they had nothing. girls despised them, mocked them, ridiculed them and left them heart broken for other guys. the typical nigerian girl doesn't believe in your tomorrow. she wants everything (every comfort and lavishing gift) she can dream of NOW! they dont believe the guys they see today who is down the ladder may be the one on-top tomorrow. when a guy who has been emotionally oppressed in such manner later becomes 'financially bouyant', he turns into an emotional terrorist, a heart breaker. he becomes mean to them and they whine about nigerian guys being mean...'i.e on NL..''I luv him but he is treating me badly' etc stupid topics.

@2sexy, your ex was at least a little considerable. she let you know outrightly that she no longer needs you. that was fair enough. I will appreciate such open denouncement. many of them wont even tell you. they'll allow you keep fooling yourself until you get frustrated about their cavalier attitude and leave. meanwhile, any gift you bring is welcomed even when they dont have any modicum of affection for you. others will keep seeing another guy behind you or simply cook up liesssssssss with sweet savoury condiments for you . when I say 'lies', I mean HOT LIES, you need to probably hire a CID to unfold the truth. if you go into the fb inbox of many 9ja babes, guy, you go FAINT O! . you'll swear to live a celibate life o! seriouzly, they are not worth it.

If I share my experience here, you guys will appeal to Seun to close this thread. 9ja girls are mean and hrtless creatures. they don't deserve this thing they call luv o! . the reason I highlighted the other part in black is because that's exactly how I feel now, but sometyms I try to chillax becos I don't believe in transferring aggression. but from experience, I think it pays to be emotionally stone cold when dealing with 9ja girls. in a nut shell, dont kil yurself over any 9ja girl lest you cry 'had I known'

^^ brother you have said it all. That's my fear... I AM NUMB.

I am currently waiting for my NYSC call up and at the same time working on getting a job in an oil firm. I have spoken to two friends and one has assured me that he will help me by God's grace and that we will have to talk about it at his residence in Portharcourt but that will be after his wedding I guess because it comes up this December. I am confident that surely, a job will click through this guy because he is more than a friend to me, a brother. Another good thing about my friend's wedding is the girl he is about to marry. She was there when he had nothing. She would often send him 2k-5k while he was in school. It wasn't long afterwards that he got a job at Total. Who do you think he will marry? Surprisingly, a banker who wouldnt have ever talk to him when he was a nobody talkless of a handshake, saw his bank statement and tried to seduce him... He had to tell me this and that I shouldnt worry myself that when I have money girls flock around me. But I guess they will fail.

I am also in talks with two other people for a job as well and also applying where possible.

By God's grace, my job hunt wont be more than a year...

Brother,marriage is the last thing on my mind now... I have totally lost it all. It will take a lot of work for any girl with a good heart to bring me back.

My tastes for girls is insipid...