This is a true life story and your contributions are required to help me out of this dilemma. I am married for 10yrs and was in the same religious denomination with my wife before and after we got married but after few years i left the church, though, I stopped attending church for a while after i left the church but my wife continued with the children. Now I have found a living church which i attend with the children but my wife has refused to join us.

I feel as the head of the family it is my responsibility to provide and lead the family spiritually and physically but I was referred to as a persecutor by my wife and her family who belongs to the same religious denomination when i told her that she has no choice but to join her husband and children in service to God. My desire is to have my entire family under one spiritual umbrella, guided by the true God and where i will take the lead as the ordained spiritual leader of the family. Now, I need your advice on what to do.

sledge605: This is a true life story and your contributions are required to help me out of this dilemma. I am married for 10yrs and was in the same religious denomination with my wife before and after we got married but after few years i left the church, though, I stopped attending church for a while after i left the church but my wife continued with the children. Now I have found a living church which i attend with the children but my wife has refused to join us.

I feel as the head of the family it is my responsibility to provide and lead the family spiritually and physically but I was referred to as a persecutor by my wife and her family who belongs to the same religious denomination when i told her that she has no choice but to join her husband and children in service to God. My desire is to have my entire family under one spiritual umbrella, guided by the true God and where i will take the lead as the ordained spiritual leader of the family. Now, I need your advice on what to do.

So when you stopped attending church and your wife continued with the Children, what was guiding your family then? The "true" Satan? How come from not going to church, you are now suddenly guided by the "true" God and are now suddenly the one who make decisions for WHOSE CHURCH IS THE RIGHT CHURCH? By The way, where in the Bible does it say that the FAMILY MUST ATTEND THE CHURCH? I am curious, can you point us to that particular book, chapter and verse(s)?

Kobo kobo, i don`t need you to question my decision as the head of my family but simply give your 2 cent advice and move on..Thank you.

sledge605: Kobo kobo, i don`t need you to question my decision as the head of my family but simply give your 2 cent advice and move on..Thank you.

Ok, so no questions. What advice do you want us to give you? Flog your wife? Or divorce her because you probably think already she is not following the "true" God? I am at loss here . . . you fell off the wagon, found yourself another church, now you want us to give you advice on how to FORCE your wife to attend the new Church with you?

Oh, my bad! I forgot your brain hurts when I ask you questions.

Kobo,i will not have you derail this thread because i know your antecedent,so if you cannot give your 2 cent advice on what and how you feel or think the matter should be handled then move on to another thread.

I doubt I have any other advice for your kind than to suggest you grow up and grow a brain; Even in marriage, life does not revolve around you and your take of it.

Okay, here's what I think based on your write-up:

sledge605: This is a true life story and your contributions are required to help me out of this dilemma. I am married for 10yrs and was in the same religious denomination with my wife before and after we got married but after few years i left the church, though, I stopped attending church for a while after i left the church but my wife continued with the children. Now I have found a living church which i attend with the children but my wife has refused to join us.

I feel as the head of the family it is my responsibility to provide and lead the family spiritually and physically but I was referred to as a persecutor by my wife and her family who belongs to the same religious denomination when i told her that she has no choice but to join her husband and children in service to God. My desire is to have my entire family under one spiritual umbrella, guided by the true God and where i will take the lead as the ordained spiritual leader of the family. Now, I need your advice on what to do.

Re: the bolded stuff makes you come across as a domineering person (no offence intended).

I'd like to believe that marriage is a partnership (not a dictatorship), where two adults work together to resolve their differences, through effective communication. From what you've posted, it looks like your wife had no choice in the matter, neither do her opinions count and is therefore, understandably resentful. Sure, as the man, you're the head of the house, but the head CANNOT operate effectively without the support of the "neck" or your woman, can you?

I'm no expert in marital affairs, but what I do know is that marriage is give and take, not give-give or take-take, if you get my meaning. Sometimes, we all need to make compromises for the sake of peace. Is there anyway you can meet your wifey half-way perhaps? Say for example you all attend your original / first church and then you all attend the new church you've found? Maybe alternate attendance on a weekly / monthly basis perhaps?

Secondly, what's the difference in doctrines or method / mode of delivering the service? (Not sure what the right word for this is). If there is a large gap, then you might have to give her time to adjust. Now this is what I mean:

~ If for example, you both attended Roman Catholic churches, and then you decide to switch to Anglican / Baptist / Methodist, the difference may not be that much, as they're all orthodox churches...so your wife would find it easier to adjust.

~ If on the other hand, you've decided to switch from the Catholic church to a protestant church such as Redeem(?), Deeper life, Celestial (white garment church) or even to become a Jehovah's witness, then understandably, your wifey would be very unhappy about it (I know I would be) as it's a huge leap and you didn't really discuss this with her.

Personally, I don't believe one church is better than the other. It's the same God we as Christians worship. What I do say is go where you feel closest to your God. Now, that analogy would work beautifully for a single person, but as a married man, my suggestion to you is that you sit down with your wife and have a good long discussion about the change and why you feel it's necessary. Encourage her to give her opinions and state any grievances she might have with the change. Listen to her. Don't shout at or get angry with her. Let her know that you're willing to work out a solution that works well for you both and your family. You are after all, a team. Yes, you're the captain...but of what use is it being captain if your team doesn't work well?

Hope this helps and best of luck man!

sledge605: This is a true life story and your contributions are required to help me out of this dilemma. I am married for 10yrs and was in the same religious denomination with my wife before and after we got married but after few years i left the church, though, I stopped attending church for a while after i left the church but my wife continued with the children. Now I have found a living church which i attend with the children but my wife has refused to join us.

I feel as the head of the family it is my responsibility to provide and lead the family spiritually and physically but I was referred to as a persecutor by my wife and her family who belongs to the same religious denomination when i told her that she has no choice but to join her husband and children in service to God. My desire is to have my entire family under one spiritual umbrella, guided by the true God and where i will take the lead as the ordained spiritual leader of the family. Now, I need your advice on what to do.

I guess in the age where some churches worship the devil, it is only makes sense that you'd want to safeguard your family's spiritual life by having them attend the church you attend since you have no doubt investigated very it well and know for sure they are worshiping God.

I think you should modify your post, stress the fact that the church they are presently attending is a devil worshiping church. . . it's the only way people will h really understand you and reply accordingly. See with the post the way it is many people will just wonder what the big deal is....After all it is the same GOD all churches worship.

I dont know, you both married as a certain denomination. All of a sudden you have a light bulb moment and decide that you are no longer interested in that denomination. Did you even talk to her about it? Does it occur to you that one of the reasons why she preferred you above all others, is because you both attend the same church and teaching your children the same values is important to her? So because you changed your mind about your church, she MUSt change hers too. Oga softly o. She didnt enter into that agreement with you before marriage. You chose, let her choose. I dont see where she is holding your kids back from attending your church.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Okay, here's what I think based on your write-up:

Thank you.

Sisi_Kill:

I guess in an age where some churches worship the devil, it is only makes sense that you'd want to safeguard your family's spiritual life by having them attend the church you attend since you have no doubt investigated very it well and know for sure they are worshiping God.

I think you should modify your post, stress the fact that the church they are presently attending is a devil worshiping church. . . it's the only way for people to really understand you and reply accordingly. See with the post the way it is many people will just wonder what the big deal is since it is the same GOD all churches worship.

baby_123: I dont know, you both married as a certain denomination.

If he does this, wouldn't it then mean the marriage was at the devil-worshipping church and so of the devil that he wants to distance himself from now? And oh, since the children were born out of that union, they are probably linked to the devil somehow? I am just asking . . . how deep does this well go . . .
ROFLMAO!!

Sisi_Kill:

I guess in an age where some churches worship the devil, it is only makes sense that you'd want to safeguard your family's spiritual life by having them attend the church you attend since you have no doubt investigated very it well and know for sure they are worshiping God.

I think you should modify your post, stress the fact that the church they are presently attending is a devil worshiping church. . . it's the only way for people to really understand you and reply accordingly. See with the post the way it is many people will just wonder what the big deal is since it is the same GOD all churches worship.

Thank you for your contribution,i will not label her church as demonic,i am not expecting peoples response to be in my favor,i want people to give honest contribution like you just did.

baby_123: I dont know, you both married as a certain denomination. All of a sudden you have a light bulb moment and decide that you are no longer interested in that denomination. Did you even talk to her about it? Does it occur to you that one of the reasons why she preferred you above all others, is because you both attend the same church and teaching your children the same values is important to her? So because you changed your mind about your church, she MUSt change hers too. Oga softly o. She didnt enter into that agreement with you before marriage. You chose, let her choose. I dont see where she is holding your kids back from attending your church.

Thank you.

Sisi_Kill:

I guess in an age where some churches worship the devil, it is only makes sense that you'd want to safeguard your family's spiritual life by having them attend the church you attend since you have no doubt investigated very it well and know for sure they are worshiping God.

I think you should modify your post, stress the fact that the church they are presently attending is a devil worshiping church. . . it's the only way for people to really understand you and reply accordingly. See with the post the way it is many people will just wonder what the big deal is since it is the same GOD all churches worship.

Lmao!

@ poster, efe has given you a very sound advice.

Btw, the way you keep hammering your being head of house makes me wonder the kind of leader you are at home.. A domineering one I guess! Easy bro, she's your wife..and she's an adult..just sit her down and communicate with her as your partner and stop being a dictator.

Sisi_Kill:

I guess in an age where some churches worship the devil, it is only makes sense that you'd want to safeguard your family's spiritual life by having them attend the church you attend since you have no doubt investigated very it well and know for sure they are worshiping God.

I think you should modify your post, stress the fact that the church they are presently attending is a devil worshiping church. . . it's the only way for people to really understand you and reply accordingly. See with the post the way it is many people will just wonder what the big deal is since it is the same GOD all churches worship.

hahahahaha

I just finished reading from 'keeping up with NL' page and the Siena's part..... He goes to church with his kids while his wife attend a different denomination... and they seem like a happy couple and didn't make it an issue according to their blog.

IMO...OP as long as your kids attend the same church with you .... She's a grown up adult and that's what she wants I guess , just cause she's married doesn't mean she can't make her own choice.... and don't let this issue drift you apart or cause any more argument ... life's too short!

@ op, based on what u wrote here, u sound more like a boss rather than a hubby(a partner). One thing i believe is dt if u make her happy, u will also be happy, how can u do that? let me refer u to this:https://www.nairaland.com/1109295/couple-celebrates-80th-wedding-anniversary.

I am beginning to dislike this overly christian and i too know attitude of so many Christians. Your wife's personal joy and fulfillment is also important. She does not like your church, she does not enjoy the service, she wants to be happy. Put her needs ahead of yours and stop thinking of yourself after all leadership is beyond na me, na me its also about being in tune to other peoples need. What if your kids hate your church and leave as time goes on, will you disown them please allow your wife freedom to express herself and live happily.

Marriage does not mean she has lost her will to think and reason for herself. She is not a jail bird but an individual and just because she is married to you does not mean she has lost her individuality. Maybe she thinks your church is evil too.

StateOfMind:


Lmao!

@ poster, efe has given you a very sound advice.

Btw, the way you keep hammering your being head of house makes me wonder the kind of leader you are at home.. A domineering one I guess! Easy bro, she's your wife..and she's an adult..just sit her down and communicate with her as your partner and stop being a dictator.

When did you start frequenting family section ? I guess the bells are about to toll huh ? You may move close to Richie and johndoe, they are both nice guys.
Versed in family matters. John has got 20+ years experience in marriage and to the same woman ofcourse. You are in safe hands.

my dear, u have to to understand ur lifes are answerable to God on individual basis,u can talk to her n convince her but u cannot force her,wish u luck

If you behave like a true christian and not like a religious extremist, your wife wouldn't have any reason not to follow you. One of the reasons why the BOKO boys are not succeeding in converting people to their whatever is because they are going about it with force and with your write-up hehehehe you're no different from them. SHOW YOUR WIFE LOVE AND RESPECT HER VIEWS.(someone mentioned how to).

Hmmmmmmmm, I just noticed that most replies come from women....If you are truly the head of the house make your decision and don't wait for advice from here. Also i have learnt a lesson in life, you do not demand for respect,you earn it!!! Hmmmmmmmmmmm... modernization of the biblical principle on marriage is the cause of the high level of divorce, wife submission is not a negotiable directive. I wonder why women would rather be prepared to attend vigils, pray and fast for God to heal a marriage that their attitude could have easily amended.

^^Submission as well as LOVE your wife they are both non-negotiable. @ op beat her mercilessly to submission if she continue to disobey you or divorce her.