Dat morrin as I wan baffna so I dey put ear for disbabe music, Omawunmi, dat song wey she sing say, ‘If you ask me, na who I go ask?’ My madam don comot tey teyand I know say before shego come back e go still tey, so I say before I baff make I carry my body goupstairs for her and ogaroom.
E get one fine white trouser wey she buy and Ibe one go taste am because I hear say person yansh dey come out well well for white trouser especially if you no wear pant or you wear g-string. Before Igo continue my tori make I talk about my madam andoga dem.
My Madam: She no too good, she no too bad. Sometimes when I go market come back late, she no go even send me. She go just talk say, “Ehen, I know you went to see your boyfriend. Thank God you didn’t stay too long. Now hurryinto the kitchen, my babywould soon be back.”
And sometimes when I wash clothes and the tingstill get small stain, she go talk say, “You are too dirty Mary, sometimes I wonder if your undies areeven clean”; and theannoying ting be say na infront of oga she go shout the whole ting so tey my oga come dey lookme one kain.
My Oga: He no too good,he no too bad. Na to dey blow grammer up and down like say im be professor,but I hear say im no even finish unifersity say as im papa die, d guyjus use im papa money push im business so tey the business come grow yakata, now my oga na big man. The man no deyeye me o, najus jeje all of us be for house.
Myself: Eferibodi know say I be cool babe. I no dey likewahala, na only to dey wish say one day Igo belike my madam. I go get housemaid full ground. One go dey wash my clothes, another one go dey iron my clothes, another one go dey cook my food and the lastone go dey go market, abi wetin man pickin want againfor this world?
So make I continue my tori. As I enter dem madam room, I jus go straight to the wardrobe because I no wan waste time. I rush comot my wrapper, come wear the trouser. Omo men, if you see as theting fine for mybody ehn, you go wan tief me! Na as I dey comot thetrouser na im Ihear person dey come the room side. Omo, see as I dive enter the wardrobe, even Jackie Chan for giveme award. Thedoor open and as Ihear my oga voicedey talk with im phone, ebe like saydem pour cold water for my body, wetinI go talk say I dey do for dia room?
“Yes, it’s fine. I was thinking we could go for that art exhibition takingplace at the art gallery.”
I no know wetin the pesin reply ambut I hear as im laff.
“No, Tunde. I am married and you know I wouldn’t stray. If you bring that lady over to the exhibition, I may persuade wifey to come with me and that could be quite unpleasant for the lady and yourself. Quit trying to make me fall man, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt my wife. Look I’m going to putyou on the speakerbecause I want to take off my clothes”
Chei, Oga abeg no comot your cloth, abeg! God where you dey? But e be like say even God dey use me play as my oga comot im cloth finish come evenmess on top.
“You are crazy men! Whywould youfart like that with me on speaker?”Thevoice from the phone ask my oga.
“Really, that’s a ridiculous question. I cando whatever I want in my house. Moreover I amalone.”
Abeg Oga you no dey alone o, no mess again abeg. Kai! The mess smell no be small. Shey na de food wey I dey cookdey make oga messsmell like this?
“Hey man, I’ve got to go.I want to have my bath and freshen up before wifey comes home. We’ll talk later.”
My oga cut the call come enter bathroom. I managecome outside as I say make I look for my wrapper wey I throw inside wardrobe wen oga dey come, na im one big abarra land for my back.
“So this is what you and my husband do, when I am not around?!”
All my body shock and piss nearly comot as I binhear madam voice for my back. Una don forget say I no wear pant and my yansh jus chook outside as I bin wan bend down carry my wrapper. As I turn face madam, I jus weak because I know no how I wan take talk am?