cantell: ^^bad parent in the making, No offense.

Blackteeth: Nigerian parents seem to be uncomfortable when they find out their daughters are dating cos of the scary thought of having a baby out of wedlock. No male visitors allowed. If one is found, the father confronts with a gun or dog or mum comes out with a kitchen knife or with the company of the chested sons. Parents seem to forget that anything can happen when their daughters are away from home. Therefore all they have to do is educate their daughters properly and leave the rest for God. Driving away male visitors is not the answer to guarantee the safety of their daughters from having a foetus, and maybe they are driving away some little benefits too.
Before parents drive away male visitors did they get the true details from their daughter that fully explained how she managed to escaped from danger the previous time she nearly got hurt? The daughter never mentioned the superman boyfriend who helped to rescued her cos of the fear of letting her parents know she is keeping a boyfriend.
Some parents may have noticed a reduced rate at which their daughters demand for money and some stuffs in addition to looking more gorgeous. They get happy thinking she has finally learnt to be responsible with money or probably the pocket-money she was giving 7 months ago still sustains her. Big thanks to the boyfriend playing a parental role.
Some parents may have noticed their daughters looking dull, depressed and lonely. They came to her with some panadol and a glass of water. Some days later she meets a nice guy and she became full of life like never before. Of course the parents would marvel at the wonders of Panadol.
Why can't parents appreciate the beautiful thing of having an additional person who loves and takes care of their daughters?

190-the-clown:
I always knew this Obasanjo looking old cargo called blackteeth was a peodophile

hes probably been chased off some girl's houze by her parents and came here to spew rash

wen u get daughter for future invite the whole Jerusalem to come see her cos u want her to be better

olodo

Blackteeth:
Is this necessary? I would ignore you cos I have long realized you are a mad man. It doesn't make sense beating up the mentally ret@rded.

go and wash your teeth white before you talk to me

cantell: ^^bad parent in the making, No offense.

190-the-clown:


go and wash your teeth white before you talk to me

Flytefalls:

190hhhhhh you're too cruel (hilarious!). The way I'm laughing at this .....

Blackteeth:

Am as young as he is. But one needs to evolve and grow up with time. There's is no sign of growing up with that dude ever since I knew him on this forum 5 years ago.
He never draws a line between seriousness and being playful.

Flytefalls:
190 will always be my anti-hero

Re your post from my own perspective, if this young lady is as vulnerable as you point her out to be (in many different scenarios), then perhaps a man is not what she should be placing her fragile self with. You're just displacing her dependency from her parents to her man. I don't like that. Her best friend could be substituted here and do just as much if not more for her self-esteem.

Blackteeth:

Are you saying that her best friend who probably is female is the one whom she should trust her fragile self with? What do you have to say about people who get hurt by their best friends? Besides, I never TOTALLY displaced her dependency from her parents to the man. It was only partial. So what's wrong with partial dependency on a man?
A best friend can be substituted, but I think a boyfriend will do more. How strong is the relationship with a best friend compared with a relationship with a boyfriend? Do people really keep best friends these days.

Flytefalls:

Oh but can't you see, a woman who is vulnerable opens herself up to future emotional damage if she loves too freely and openly. Ideally, she should strengthen and protect her heart before she engages herself in a relationship with even the best of men. Then when she is sure he is right, she can drown herself into him . A dear friend is a peer that can walk through life with you and support you without the complications that romance presents.

Hey, partial dependency is what relationships are defined by! But the reality is that few women meet their partners under such heroic/generous/self-medicating circumstances as the ones you mentioned in your original post. So a parent is out to protect until they can trust.

190-the-clown:

Flytefalls:

Oh but can't you see, a woman who is vulnerable opens herself up to future emotional damage if she loves too freely and openly. Ideally, she should strengthen and protect her heart before she engages herself in a relationship with even the best of men. Then when she is sure he is right, she can drown herself into him . A dear friend is a peer that can walk through life with you and support you without the complications that romance presents.

Hey, partial dependency is what relationships are defined by! But the reality is that few women meet their partners under such heroic/generous/self-medicating circumstances as the ones you mentioned in your original post. So a parent is out to protect until they can trust.

Blackteeth:

What exactly do you mean by "love too freely and openly"? Such thing doesn't exist cos it's only when a lady meets a guy she admires and the conditions are right that any loving begins. Isn't it?

Every lady strengthens herself and protects her heart before engaging in any relationship, so all you wrote above is nothing new.

I asked you previously, haven't you heard of instances where these so-called dear friends stab you at back? Do you think that they are always the ones who make the best of companions?

I never said relationships are defined by partial dependencies. You earlier complained that I transferred parental responsibilies to a man and am only saying it wasn't totally done but partially.

Flytefalls:


*Sigh*, ok ok.

Quick reply:
I was saying that partial dependency on your man is fine, it's actually healthy :|. The original post was about parents so I was explaining that in the scenarios you gave, she seemed to be somewhat vulnerable because she seemed dependent. She needed to grow a little more before escaping into some Bridget Jones fantasy about men imo. Of course some friends stab you in the back, but are all men heros at the end of the day? NO! NO! NO!

I'll just conclude that happiness today can easily become sorrow tomorrow as you know. And some of us have such amazing friends that we have planned to meet them for a Turkish meal later on, then "cotching" at my place ... and somewhere across London my beautiful Fiance still exists .