This topic was generated out of sympathy for the numerous men in today's modern world, who have been subjected to different forms of Violence in their marriages and relationships, these issues are swept under the carpet and not regarded because no one would believe or empathize with them.

Men are continually subjected to physical, financial, mental, sexual and emotional abuse by their partners, but the world expects them to be fine and never complain cos they are MEN and should not complain.

Instances are abound, i see them every day, you and i know of marriages where the Women wear the pants

She Calls you names, insults you or puts you down in private/ public and in front of ur kids/ friends

Places the financial responsibilties of her immediate family on your shoulders to carry.

Prevents you from going to work or school

Stops you from seeing family members or friends

Tries to control how you spend money, where you go or what you wear

Acts jealous or possessive or constantly accuses you of being unfaithful even when u are not

Threatens you with violence or a weapon

Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, chokes or otherwise hurts you

Assaults you while you're sleeping, you've been drinking or you're not paying attention to make up for a difference in strength

Blames you for his or her violent behavior or tells you that you deserve it

Portrays the violence as mutual and consensual

These issues are prevalent and cos we are Men does not mean we don't feel pain.

Violence against any gender is unacceptable!!!

OK oooo. I dont agree with abuse against men.

But wait first. Some men act possessed. Some little insults here and there work magic to wake them up. And most of their friends like to put mouth where it does not concern them. Trying to take charge of someone else's home from outside. The woman suddenly finds herself fighting battles that she doesnt know who the enemy is. Men can be so sheepish sometimes that the woman has to take charge and put things in order. Otherwise, outsiders will make a mess of your life. Male friends need to know to stay out of couples business, because at the end of the day they will both fight you.

@baby 123

I appreciate your comments, but all i read from u was, men should be abused cos they act possessed, thus abusing then through insults is fine? becoming over bearing and controlling is the answer? am happy u admit these issues exist.

Roland17: @baby 123

I appreciate your comments, but all i read from u was, men should be abused cos they act possessed, thus abusing then through insults is fine? becoming over bearing and controlling is the answer? am happy u admit these issues exist.

If you insult me by disrespecting me. I will insult you. Respect is reciprocal. Dont let your friends disrespect me and my home by having more say in it than i do, if you dont want to hear from me. Be a man, be your own man. I wont just wake up and insult anyone if they didnt push me far enough. Anyone that just constantly abuses or insults without provocation is a lunatic. If you misbehave and it turns into a fight, well... Anything can happen. A woman's weapon is her mouth. If you respect your family and guard it jealously. Any wife that takes that for granted will be a f*ool. If you leave everything anyhow, then dont be angry if your woman suddenly wears the pants you were too sheepish to wear.

baby_123:

If you insult me by disrespecting me. I will insult you. Respect is reciprocal. Dont let your friends disrespect me and my home by having more say in it than i do, if you dont want to hear from me. Be a man, be your own man. I wont just wake up and insult anyone if they didnt push me far enough. Anyone that just constantly abuses or insults without provocation is a lunatic. If you misbehave and it turns into a fight, well... Anything can happen. A woman's weapon is her mouth. If you respect your family and guard it jealously. Any wife that takes that for granted will be a f*ool. If you leave everything anyhow, then dont be angry if your woman suddenly wears the pants you were too sheepish to wear.

Does that mean women should resort to insulting men to gain respect even though in some instances real men don't engage in insults, should insulting and belittling a man in the presence of his kids, friends and associates be a the sole way to resolve issues.

Am not an advocate for violence against any gender, but violence against men is prevalent and that's the aim of this thread.

Roland17:

Does that mean women should resort to insulting men to gain respect even though in some instances real men don't engage in insults, should insulting and belittling a man in the presence of his kids, friends and associates be a the sole way to resolve issues.

Am not an advocate for violence against any gender, but violence against men is prevalent and that's the aim of this thread.

Ok whatever, The fact remains that if you want to keep your god status, dont act like a peasant. Me i cannot fight, throw things or break anything. But i can insult very very well if pushed in the right spots. And my insults are always on the target, not family or any other person. .Na you sabi. Just dont let anyone invade my home or bring me disrespect and we will be in love till death do us part.

Baby justfying insults on men is like justffying a man who slaps his wife for what he considers bad behavior.
Adults talk respectfully to and act respectfully to each other.

Poster I agree that men are abused but they hide their own because they are afraid of being scorned

debrief08: Baby justfying insults on men is like justffying a man who slaps his wife for what he considers bad behavior.
Adults talk respectfully to and act respectfully to each other.

Poster I agree that men are abused but they hide their own because they are afraid of being scorned

Yea, and i guess a man disrespecting his family is not abuse. . Let us leave matter for mathias abeg. I dont go there if you dont go there with me. There is always a reaction for every action. Men always want to act how they like and get away with it.

@debrief, The instances when these abuses occur are numerous, thanks for your comment.

So he disrespects you and abusing and shouting holding his collar is the answer?
In the same vein when you hurt him with your words hurting you with his strength can also be his answer.
Adults act like adults no throwing tantrums and gettin voilent

debrief08: So he disrespects you and abusing and shouting holding his collar is the answer?
In the same vein when you hurt him with your words hurting you with his strength can also be his answer.
Adults act like adults no throwing tantrums and gettin voilent

Lol, am sure you didnt read anything i posted. As this response has nothing to do with what i having been posting. You choose to ignore and hope he changes. I, choose to speak my mind. Thats just it. At no point did i say i am a violent person. So you are putting words that will never stick. If you disrespect me, i will disrespect you. Me, i aint the traditional African woman. You get out of me what you put in. Me, i no get time for depression, endurance and crying.

More comments are encouraged.

Baby 123,

So if you insult him or attack him with whatever weapon you have what do you expect him to do?

Sit down there and absorb it while smiling?

dayokanu: Baby 123,

So if you insult him or attack him with whatever weapon you have what do you expect him to do?

Sit down there and absorb it while smiling?

Take a deep breath and read again.

baby_123:

Take a deep breath and read again.

You claim he disrespect you, You insult him, What do you expect him to do at that point?

Sit down and applaud you?

Insult or holding shirt is an aggressive behavior and can lead to things you didn't plan for or can not handle

Glad to know 'Men' are now crying. . . .About time too!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGfG5c65r2s

Men, when you sow violence. . . YOU REAP VIOLENCE.
No woman was born violent.
VIOLENT MEN TAUGHT THEM HOW TO BE!

dayokanu:

You claim he disrespect you, You insult him, What do you expect him to do at that point?

Sit down and applaud you?

Insult or holding shirt is an aggressive behavior and can lead to things you didn't plan for or can not handle

What can he do? Nothing... Absolutely nothing. When you are caught, you take whatever the consequences are.

If anyone disrespects me, am sorry i will speak whatever is on my mind at the moment. If you dont like it, then change

Besides i have never put my hands on any man. Why break my nails when my mouth can make the difference. Like i said, read my posts well. Me, i insult people o. So i am not pretending here. I am also very much against abuse. If you act like an agbaya, i will call you an agbaya etc...

baby_123:

What can he do? Nothing... Absolutely nothing. When you are caught, you take whatever the consequences are.

If anyone disrespects me, am sorry i will speak whatever is on my mind at the moment. If you dont like it, then change

Besides i have never put my hands on any man. Why break my nails when my mouth can make the difference. Like i said, read my posts well. Me, i insult people o. So i am not pretending here. I am also very much against abuse. If you act like an agbaya, i will call you an agbaya etc...

Your own response is by insult, Another persons response might be something you cant handle or maybe he too would open the door and you start insult yourselves back and forth on the balcony while neighbours gather to watch two adults having a display

dayokanu:

Your own response is by insult, Another persons response might be something you cant handle or maybe he too would open the door and you start insult yourselves back and forth on the balcony while neighbours gather to watch two adults having a display

Well quote me by what i wrote, i am not violent or loud. And as per neighbors, wetin concern me. I bet insult is the least of what they know that is going on. If you disrespect me, i will disrespect you. Me i nor get time for family meeting, depression, over thinking or crying. I deal with issues immediately and move on.

baby_123:

Well quote me by what i wrote, i am not violent or loud. And as per neighbors, wetin concern me. I bet insult is the least of what they know that is going on. If you disrespect me, i will disrespect you. Me i nor get time for family meeting, depression, over thinking or crying. I deal with issues immediately and move on.

If you insult him and he decides to loud it and insult you in the presence of neighbours what happens? He waits for you to be outside and comes to insult you calling you names there

dayokanu:

If you insult him and he decides to loud it and insult you in the presence of neighbours what happens? He waits for you to be outside and comes to insult you calling you names there

Lol, i would never marry a Fo*ol or an area boy. Who does that? That is a lunatic. You are taking issues to an extreme to prove a point. I am not glossing things over here. I just was not raised to be a door mat. I get respect more that way, it works for me sha. So na you know.

STOP THE VIOLENCE AGAINST ANYONE!!!!!

It's when we separate it that it starts getting dicey. . .and the idea that only a certain type of people can lay claim to being victims of violence continues to be perpetuated.

baby_123:

Lol, i would never marry a Fo*ol or an area boy. Who does that? That is a lunatic. You are taking issues to an extreme to prove a point. I am not glossing things over here. I just was not raised to be a door mat. I get respect more that way, it works for me sha. So na you know.

So would any man also bargain for marrying someone who would insult him? And with live actions have consequences When you insult someone they would attempt to fight back in their own way.

Sisi_Kill: STOP THE VIOLENCE AGAINST ANYONE!!!!!
It's when we separate it that it starts getting dicey. . .and the idea that only a certain type of people can lay claim to being victims of violence continues to be perpetuated.

Well said. Some people think some violence against some people is understandable.

Why cant I slap my driver? What would he do, Is he not an ordinary driver that I pay ?

Why cant I whip my housegirl is she not this useless girl her aunt gave me from Cotonou, calabar, Togo etc?

Why cant I punch my wife? Shebi I paid her dowry, And why cant I "correct" her. Its a show of love to beat your wife "lightly"

Why cant I insult my husband. Thats the weapon a woman has and Is he not man enough to accept it and smile?

Why cant I hold his collars and yell at him Shebi I am the woman in the relationship and permitted to be emotional ?

Well said Sisi and Dayo. Everyone can explain away acts of violence as long as they perpetuate it.

Governors: why can't I drive people off the roads and who cares if they die,I an their only Governor they have to run to the bush when I pass.

baby_123:

OK oooo. I dont agree with abuse against men.

But wait first. Some men act possessed. Some little insults here and there work magic to wake them up. And most of their friends like to put mouth where it does not concern them. Trying to take charge of someone else's home from outside. The woman suddenly finds herself fighting battles that she doesnt know who the enemy is. Men can be so sheepish sometimes that the woman has to take charge and put things in order. Otherwise, outsiders will make a mess of your life. Male friends need to know to stay out of couples business, because at the end of the day they will both fight you.

I hate this new NL sometimes, the old NL allows you to search for old topic even if you don't know who started the topic. I really really really wanna find the Titilayo thread because I remember vividly someone trying to justify the violence against that poor woman with the same logic you have here. . .which is violence is okay because the other person must have deserved it.

Nice, real nice!

dayokanu:

So would any man also bargain for marrying someone who would insult him? And with live actions have consequences When you insult someone they would attempt to fight back in their own way.



Well said. Some people think some violence against some people is understandable.

Why cant I slap my driver? What would he do, Is he not an ordinary driver that I pay ?

Why cant I whip my housegirl is she not this useless girl her aunt gave me from Cotonou, calabar, Togo etc?

Why cant I punch my wife? Shebi I paid her dowry, And why cant I "correct" her. Its a show of love to beat your wife "lightly"

Why cant I insult my husband. Thats the weapon a woman has and Is he not man enough to accept it and smile?

Why cant I hold his collars and yell at him Shebi I am the woman in the relationship and permitted to be emotional ?

I was just gonna go through your previous posts because you had written something dealing on this issue. . .glad I don't have to.

These are non salient issues that should be brought to the limelight better, more comments and experiences are encouraged

Found it the Real Thread I was looking for when I saw this topic. . .Of course Debrief opened it!!

I could kick myself for going to Sokoto to look for what is in Shokoto.

@ Topic
Check this thread We Have A Big Violence Problem In Nigeria

Sisi_Kill:

I hate this new NL sometimes, the old NL allows you to search for old topic even if you don't know who started the topic. I really really really wanna find the Titilayo thread because I remember vividly someone trying to justify the violence against that poor woman with the same logic you have here. . .which is violence is okay because the other person must have deserved it.

Nice, real nice!



I was just gonna go through your previous posts because you had written something dealing on this issue. . .glad I don't have to.

WTF are you talking about. Not even going to go there with you, as you like to take things way out of context to play to the gallery. I am sure if you engage your brain, you can make sense somewhere in your brain. Abeg, park jare. Me, i don talk my own. If you disrespect me, abeg i will talk. Dont like it? Behave like an adult. So i should just leave my guy to do what he likes and keep quiet or involve the whole world to talk to someone who i lay by his side everyday. Abeg, this long story is ridiculous o jare. Why am i even explaining? I am sure i have done enough of that. I was only responding to the OP's insult and friends point.

Okay everybody regroup and face the topic .... Nooooo derailing o! Thank you!

baby_123:

WTF are you talking about. Not even going to go there with you, as you like to take things way out of context to play to the gallery. I am sure if you engage your brain, you can make sense somewhere in your brain. Abeg, park jare. Me, i don talk my own. If you disrespect me, abeg i will talk. Dont like it? Behave like an adult. So i should just leave my guy to do what he likes and keep quiet or involve the whole world to talk to someone who i lay by his side everyday. Abeg, this long story is ridiculous o jare. Why am i even explaining? I am sure i have done enough of that. I was only responding to the OP's insult and friends point.

baby_123:

OK oooo. I dont agree with abuse against men.

But wait first. Some men act possessed. Some little insults here and there work magic to wake them up. And most of their friends like to put mouth where it does not concern them. Trying to take charge of someone else's home from outside. The woman suddenly finds herself fighting battles that she doesnt know who the enemy is. Men can be so sheepish sometimes that the woman has to take charge and put things in order. Otherwise, outsiders will make a mess of your life. Male friends need to know to stay out of couples business, because at the end of the day they will both fight you.

I kuku didn't write that. . .you did!!

And anyone who has an iota of sense knows Domestic Violence does not just happen nor does it happen in a vacuum, it starts with little things like insults here, berating there, put downs, a little shove etc.

Compare what you have there. . .How you "take Charge" to what OP had in his post and let's see who has it upside down again.

Nice topic @OP.
I have always said no sex has the monnopoly on violence but most times violence on females is amplified mainly because women tend to act the victim. On the other hand men try to hide violence dished out to them by partners bercause they fear to be labelled as wimps.
I witnessed two violent conducts by two women on their husbands that left me disturbed and I once shared both incidentsd on NL but most people did not believe the stories bevcause the violence from the women towards their husbands was positively shocking!

Sisi_Kill:




I kuku didn't write that. . .you did!!

And anyone who has an iota of sense knows Domestic Violence does not just happen nor does it happen in a vacuum, it starts with little things like insults here, berating there, put downs, a little shove etc.

Compare what you have there. . .How you "take Charge" to what OP had in his post and let's see who has it upside down again.

Well, you may react to disrespect by crying till you faint, me i insult. Chikena. I get it all out of my system. No one can give me heart attack or hypertension. On the friends part, if they cross their boundary, they will lose a friend. I will make it very difficult for that friend. I am talking from experience. Dont keep your ship tight, keep crying and wailing till you kill yourself and he moves on to marry someone else. I marry my best friend not my master. So he knows if i insult him he has truly messed up.