What are the challenges of intercultural relationships - specifically American and Nigerian. I'd like to know the experiences of marriage, raising children, celebrating holidays, Religion, etc. For those of you in long term relationships, was it worth it? Does it cause many conflicts?

WOW! This is a GREAT question and two years later NO REPLIES! NLders cold e man?! Gosh!

Well I will start. I am African American/ Jamaican and my current boyfriend is Cameroonian. My past boyfriends were all black but were from the "black-triangle": Africa, West Indies and America. I find that my issues were more with the Americans and less the Africans/ Caribbeans because American culture is really non-existent and also because everything that I did was too foreign. I am not very patient so American men never lasted with me as I always felt like I was raising them. The Caribbean/ African men are more similar than alike they just express themselves differently. Both are assertive when it comes to what they want and both in their own ways know how to treat women who they care for (in MY experience). Being that my mother is Jamaican I understood more about how the Caribbean guys thought but they like the Americans have a little boyish thing about them so it didnt work. And then there were my African novios my favorites!

Being in a relationship with my African ex bfs and my current were/ is a(n) challenge because although we are similar in culture, there is still alot about eachother's beliefs/ ways that we had/ have to teach eachother and there were/ are clashes. All relationships are challenging but what I find is the key issue between and African - African American or African - Caribbean (more than African American - Caribbean) relationship is the level of trust. Any West Indian/ American that I know who have dated Africans say that they have had to "earn" their affection/ trust which from my experience is true.

My boyfriend is from French Cameroon and he told me that if push comes to shove and something were to happen between myself and his mother that he would choose her side over mine even if we were together for the next 20 years because in his culture a woman marries the family when she marries the man, the mother being the matriarch is the one who the respect is due to not necessarily the new wife. I was a bit taken back by that but I understand because its the same thing in Jamaica only the difference is that it is understood that when a woman and man marries, they are left to form their own family so it was a hard thing to swallow. Because he was BORN in Cameroon and came to the states at the age of 19, therefore already molded to the man he is to be, he is a firm believer in tradition and told me when we reach to the stage where we are certain that this is going to be a long term thing that I am going to have to abide by certain rules. I am not extremely excited about it but I do care about him. I do find that I am still being put through tests to prove my loyalty and that I am ready. . .for the blasted rules .

We try to understand eachother by understanding each others cultures, and he is open to mine which is why I am willing to compromise. We watch Jamaican movies/ plays and listen to French music/ watch Cameroonian music videos in the car when we take trips, cook dishes from his country and my mothers, I teach him patois and he teaches me french and a little bit of his native tongue. So it can be done. It just depends on the partners and their willingness to erase the barriers. My Ex Liberian and Sierra Leonean boyfriends hold a special place in my heart but they were NOT having it! They were not interested in my culture and if they were it was to amuse their friends and poke fun. I remember bringing music videos from jamaica to my Salone ex boyfriend and would go to the apartment after class and he and his friends/ cousins would be watching the videos cracking up and then picking on me. The Liberian was different because he likes reggae but he would preach how I need to "pay homage to Africa"/ be more African-like to be with him and I was not trying to hear that. Both guys were good guys aside from that but the cultural clashes put an ending to the relationships.

So it's up to the individuals! You have to know what you want. Dont just do it for the experience, do it because you care about the person and is willing to learn, it is challenging!

@mzdarkskin,
I can see u're really digging for facts by going thrue d archive. Actually d cameroonians/nigerians are quite alike but still differs. Cos nigeria is a complex nation wit a large ethnicities ranging above 250. While we tend 2b so mindful of each others belief/culture. U can see for urself how we all are proudly showing off our cultures/beliefs. We grow up to come 2d cognizance our of surroundings and we seems to be more curious in

@mzdarkskin,
I can see u're really digging for facts by going thrue d archive. Actually d cameroonians/nigerians are quite alike but still differs. Cos nigeria is a complex nation wit a large ethnicities ranging above 250. While we tend 2b so mindful of each others belief/culture. U can see for urself how we all are proudly showing off our cultures/beliefs. We grow up to come 2d cognizance our of surroundings and we seems to be more curious in

we seems to be more curious in getting 2knw how far we were able to get here in d african continent. If actually we migrated from somewhere, how come dat majority of d people are blacks from north 2south. To my thought the africa continent has been in existence b4 christ. Cos d bible made us 2believe dat civilizatn startd proper in egypt, africa. If likes of egypt, ethiopia was, then the blacks where also around d corner of d whole picture yet 2b

d blacks was around d corner living there humble life in d jungle yet 2b discoverd nt until Columbus discovery.Which propelld more western worlds 2b inquisitive 2get there share of dnew found world
Back 2topic
inter-tribal relationship/marriage in dis part of d world takes a diff. dimension, wit lots of union as toil dis path. While in some cases it takes d grace for some parents2 accept d union.Most especially if d son/daughter happens 2b d 1st

d blacks was around d corner living there humble life in d jungle yet 2b discoverd nt until Columbus discovery.Which propelld more western worlds 2b inquisitive 2get there share of dnew found world
Back 2topic
inter-tribal relationship/marriage in dis part of d world takes a diff. dimension, wit lots of union as toil dis path. While in some cases it takes d grace for some parents2 accept d union.Most especially if d son/daughter happens 2b d 1st

d blacks was around d corner living there humble life in d jungle yet 2b discoverd nt until Columbus discovery.Which propelld more western worlds 2b inquisitive 2get there share of dnew found world
Back 2topic
inter-tribal relationship/marriage in dis part of d world takes a diff. dimension, wit lots of union as toil dis path. While in some cases it takes d grace for some parents2 accept d union.Most especially if d son/daughter happens 2b d 1st

My husband is Nigerian (Igbo) & I am American (Caucasian). We have only been married for 1 year, so my view is still limited. I find that with understanding and patience things are going well. As far as parenting (I have children from a previous marriage) I believe he is more strict then I am, but that has been for the good. We are both Christian so that is not an issue nor are holidays as we celebrate both American & Nigerian holidays together.
The problems we have faced due to cultural differences are really things that all couples face. The wife adjusting to her husbands ways & visa verse. I have had to learn to be more submissive. He is the head of our home according to the Bible, and he takes his responsibility seriously. He does always ask for my input and respect my thoughts, but there have been a few times he has laid down the law. He is always loving and fair about it. However I think if i had chosen to really test him it could have been a big blow up. Another thing is a bit of jealousy which I have heard can be normal of African men, although I don't want to generalize. He does not like me having male friends. I understand that as I can be the same way so we got through that as well.
I was very scared the first time I traveled there to meet his family. He is the first son and I had read some about what can happen if your in-laws don't take to you. Thankfully everything went well and I love his family as they are my own.
Here are a few things that I believe have made our marriage successful on my part:
1. I expected cultural differences and always keep that in mind when we have an issue that is cultural. Tolerance and respect of his culture is so important.
2. I learned to embrace his culture. I have read a lot about his tribe and Nigeria. I am learning to cook his foods & trying (lol) to learn his language.
3. I am family oriented so I agree with and appreciate the way that his family is my family and mine his.
4. I let him be the man.
5. We are both open minded people.
6. Communication, we talk constantly and are able to discuss our problems calmly (usually, lol).
7. Commitment, marriage is forever. Good & bad, so we better make it good because forever can be very long time.
8. Love is the most important. If you truly love each other you will find it in yourself to work through the differences. I believe in the end it has only made us stronger.
Good luck!