Dear NLanders,

There is a girl I met recently and she appears to have many of the qualities I look out for in a lady. As far as I'm concerned, we have not started dating though some people may think otherwise.

In the past few weeks, I have been contemplating backing out! Her behaviour gives me the impression that she does what she wants to even when I advise otherwise.

Is there a way I could change her orientation or would it be expedient for me to call it quit? Please I need your candid advice. Thank you all!

Guy giving advise is free, accepting it is a choice too. She ain't a puppet, be glad she has a mind of her own.

Dear OP. Pls undstnd dt the immorality in our world and the quest to sound and act western has killed the morms, bt there are still some sensible ppl around. Most ppl dress so wrong and no matter how u tell them, they think u're old school and won't listen.
So, if u knw ds girl won't do any good, dnt disturb urself tryin to go serious wit her. U knw the type u wanted. Bt if u're like KINGwax™ the badass, enjoy urself wit the girl and lay her off wen u're done.
No big deal, they're 'big girls', they simply can take care of themselves. By the way, let nobody judge u or tell u it aint good. Remember: u're nobody's puppet.

sexkillz: Just few weeks, and you are already advising her and expecting her to stick to your advice like glue? Wonderfulation and fantasticability. . .

You have not even started dating her and you already want to change her orientation, so when you start dating her, she is supposed to be your puppet, right?

My friend, shift your sef comot for road make I see better serious person this morning. . . Wait sef, what are you even "calling quit" on? Can you quit what you never were in?

Mtsheeeeeeeeeew!

@sexkillz. I'm not expecting her to be a 'puppet'. I'm not perfect but I don't think there is anything wrong in giving a friend an advice. Many thanks for making your comment!

uj_sizzle: Guy giving advise is free, accepting it is a choice too. She ain't a puppet, be glad she has a mind of her own.

@uj_sizzle, heeding and advice doesn't make one a 'puppet'. Some advice from people have made me better even though I am not superhuman. Thanks for your comment!

op,if i may ask what kind of advice did u give her that she refused?and what even makes u belive that ur own advise is right and correct?just asking

KINGwax: Dear OP. Pls undstnd dt the immorality in our world and the quest to sound and act western has killed the morms, bt there are still some sensible ppl around. Most ppl dress so wrong and no matter how u tell them, they think u're old school and won't listen.
So, if u knw ds girl won't do any good, dnt disturb urself tryin to go serious wit her. U knw the type u wanted. Bt if u're like KINGwax™ the badass, enjoy urself wit the girl and lay her off wen u're done.
No big deal, they're 'big girls', they simply can take care of themselves. By the way, let nobody judge u or tell u it aint good. Remember: u're nobody's puppet.

@KINGwax, thanks a lot for your comment! The person in question dresses very well and she's not the type with 'fake' everything. She is a 'good' girl but is that type of person that if you advise her to reduce the quantity of soft drink, she tells you 'I can't do that till a month's time'!

FavouredFellow:

@KINGwax, thanks a lot for your comment! The person in question dresses very well and she's not the type with 'fake' everything. She is a 'good' girl but is that type of person that if you advise her to reduce the quantity of soft drink, she tells you 'I can't do that till a month's time'!

now i have found the thread i will be on today,now from the comment above i am expecting more funny comments as from now in response to the above comment

FavouredFellow:

@sexkillz. I'm not expecting her to be a 'puppet'. I'm not perfect but I don't think there is anything wrong in giving a friend an advice. Many thanks for making your comment!

yes there is nothing wrong in giving a friend am advice and also there is nothing wrong in a friend not following your advice , maybe she followed her mind or doesn't she have one ,or another person also advised her. What type of advice self and on what?

FavouredFellow:

@KINGwax, thanks a lot for your comment! The person in question dresses very well and she's not the type with 'fake' everything. She is a 'good' girl but is that type of person that if you advise her to reduce the quantity of soft drink, she tells you 'I can't do that till a month's time'!

serious, na wah for you oh! So very soon you will tell her to stop eating eba but to eat wheat flour or to change from egusi soup to white soup. Find better thing talk about abeg

onatisi: op,if i may ask what kind of advice did u give her that she refused?and what even makes u belive that ur own advise is right and correct?just asking

@onatisi, thanks for asking! She drinks at least one bottle of 'Orobo' everyday and I advised her to reduce it. She's the type that adds like 6-8 cubes of sugar in a cup (not mug/jug) of tea and when you advise, she tells you 'I have a whole box of sugar at home if I no use am like that, e go waste'.

IZUKWU: yes there is nothing wrong in giving a friend am advice and also there is nothing wrong in a friend not following your advice , maybe she followed her mind or doesn't she have one ,or another person also advised her. What type of advice self and on what?

@IZUKWU, thanks for your comment. I have the advice in my response to KINGwax and onatisi.

OP, so some of the issue you are having with this girl is 'not to put too much sugar in her tea', "not to drink too much" and she is not obeying. This is way small to be an issue here. why are you making it an issue?

She is her own person that has routines, lifestyle, beliefs.

FavouredFellow: Dear NLanders,

Is there a way I could change her orientation or would it be expedient for me to call it quit? Please I need your candid advice. Thank you all!

Watching and Eating popcorn

Smuthx: OP, so some of the issue you are having with this girl is 'not to put too much sugar in her tea', "not to drink too much" and she is not obeying. This is way small to be an issue here. why are you making it an issue?

She is her own person that has routines, lifestyle, beliefs.

@Smuthx. Thank you so much for your response!

LadyTC:


Watching and Eating popcorn

@LadyTC, Watching and Eating popcorn ?

FavouredFellow:

@onatisi, thanks for asking! She drinks at least one bottle of 'Orobo' everyday and I advised her to reduce it. She's the type that adds like 6-8 cubes of sugar in a cup (not mug/jug) of tea and when you advise, she tells you 'I have a whole box of sugar at home if I no use am like that, e go waste'.

Dude, Una no gel! move the fevk on abeg! Jeez! All dis agidi Romeos sef, na by force? Chick wey u jus meet, u don dey talk quit? Wetin u dey quit? Are u a learner?

OP has the makings of a control freak.

this thread will still make front page ,anyone willing to bet with me?someone doesnt want his girlfriend drinking cocacola and fanta but the lady has a trunkload of sugar in her room.the set is stage for the final show down.grabbbbbb ur copy now!!!!!!!!!!!!!
op oya go on .i dey feel ur vibes and swagga

Op, a lady that loves and want to be with you would definitely do anything within her power to please you like winning your admiration and so on.
If you don't like the way she dresses while going on a date with you and remind her of it, she can make the sacrifice of changing into something that appeals to you not because she is comfortable with your decision but to make you happy. If you don't find such attribute in a lady you want to date then there is no future in such enterprise.

She might be treating you as an option but believe me you a lady in love that desperately need a man will always but foolishly gives in to his demands. If the traits she exhibits don't portray her as a wify material it is better you discontinue the relationship

Idowuogbo:
Dude, Una no gel! move the fevk on abeg! Jeez! All dis agidi Romeos sef, na by force? Chick wey u jus meet, u don dey talk quit? Wetin u dey quit? Are u a learner?

@Idowuogbo, I'm a veteran. Anyway, fanks for commenting!

Amya: OP has the makings of a control freak.

@Amya, I don't think I'm a control freak. Can't you advise a friend or bf? Will that make you a control freak? Thanks for your comment Madam!

LastApostle: Op, a lady that loves and want to be with you would definitely do anything within her power to please you like winning your admiration and so on.
If you don't like the way she dresses while going on a date with you and remind her of it, she can make the sacrifice of changing into something that appeals to you not because she is comfortable with your decision but to make you happy. If you don't find such attribute in a lady you want to date then there is no future in such enterprise.

She might be treating you as an option but believe me you a lady in love that desperately need a man will always but foolishly gives in to his demands. If the traits she exhibits don't portray her as a wify material it is better you discontinue the relationship

@LastApostle, your response is in tandem wish your name. Thanks for that!

I think you dnt have any reason to back-out yet. You are still at the nursery stage of the relationship
Are u sure you are not asking too much from a friend?
Sure u can talk to her at this point, bt if she dosnt change and u think u cant cope wit dat trait, split the bean.
Dnt eva think someone will change one day or that you can change them. It dosnt wok

sunny t: I think you dnt have any reason to back-out yet. You are still at the nursery stage of the relationship
Are u sure you are not asking too much from a friend?
Sure u can talk to her at this point, bt if she dosnt change and u think u cant cope wit dat trait, split the bean.
Dnt eva think someone will change one day or that you can change them. It dosnt wok

@sunny t, thank you for your contribution! I'll discuss it with her and if there's no change, shift gear!

Haven't you heard the saying you can't change a person? Till that person changes of his/her own volition?

You can only force the horse to the stream, you can't force it to drink water. Or you'd rather she pretends just to please you, thereby displeasing herself?

Maybe you give her the advice that will benefit you only.

OP, u either very immature or a control freak

Amya: OP has the makings of a control freak.

I disagree. He strikes me as someone who is overtly sensitive, especially when people he considers 'dear' are involved. He probably wouldn't dole out that much advice if he doesn't fancy you.

@OP: Don't you think you're overreaching yourself with your sudden and somewhat coarse approach in coaching her to your specifications?

Seems like you're coming from a good place, OP, but it's up to her to change. Right now she might not see any downsides of what she's doing to herself with eating too much sugar, but if she continues it would catch up to her. She's not yet your girlfriend and even if she were it's up to her to do as she pleases. You want to be with someone who's healthy, so if this keeps bothering you because she refuses to change, then you can do as you please too.