Nairalanders abeg make una see drama ooooo!

We were married for about 8months. We seperated one year and eight months ago when i was about 3months pregnant. Since then till date, he never asked about my child, dont even know the colour of my child's skin. We made several attempts to return the bride price he paid (only married traditionally) but they refused to accept it.

So i decided to opt for divorce. The divorce petition was sent to him through my cousin. My cousin said ex husband was shocked to his root when he saw the topic of the letter. Said he wasn't expecting such.

For reasons i dont understand, my cousin who is married gave ex husband his phone number. And ever since then, ex husband and his family members have been bombarding him with calls pleading with him to plead with my family that they want reconciliation and settlement.

As far as i'm concerned, its all drama.

That man maltreated me so much that thinking about it now is making me sick.

What is the purpose of this thread, nothing much. Just want talk out my mind jare.......

What are your thoughts right now? Do you want to reconcile?

Sorry abt what happened to u,may God bless and c you through.Love to ur baby.

Singing. . . When a woman's fed up by R. Kelly!

Back to reality - he might have changed, perhaps you should reconsider!

You have to reconcile but up to you to accept him back to you and your baby's live.

My dear, been there.
The question is what you want? When answering that consider the following:
1. Is there a genuiene attempt at change?
2. Are there clear strategies for a better path to happiness for you both?
3. Is he just reacting to the fact that he could permanently loose you? The shock usually makes one react desperately, sometimes not because they are ready to work on the relationship but because they didint believe it will get this far.

I love happy endings and am a sucker for romance my dear I wish you the best in your decision.

Vent away.
It's alright
All the best.

debrief08:
3. Is he just reacting to the fact that he could permanently loose you? The shock usually makes one react desperately, sometimes not because they are ready to work on the relationship but because they didint believe it will get this far.

I'm guessing it is this... and men like this are quick to revert back to their unpalatable and unacceptable ways as soon as they feel they are back in control.
Op,all the best in whatever choice you make.

PrettyCindy: Nairalanders abeg make una see drama ooooo! We were married for about 8months. We seperated one year and eight months ago when i was about 3months pregnant. Since then till date, he never asked about my child, dont even know the colour of my child's skin. We made several attempts to return the bride price he paid (only married traditionally) but they refused to accept it.
So i decided to opt for divorce. The divorce petition was sent to him through my cousin. My cousin said ex husband was shocked to his root when he saw the topic of the letter. Said he wasn't e xpecting such. For reasons i dont understand, my cousin who is married gave ex husband his phone number. And ever since then, ex husband and his family members have been bombarding him with calls pleading with him to plead with my family that they want reconciliation and settlement.
As far as i'm concerned, its all drama.
That man maltreated me so much that thinking about it now is making me sick.

What is the purpose of this thread, nothing much. Just want talk out my mind jare.......

He never asked for or set eyes on his now 14 month old child, meaning he probably has not spoken to you at all. And all of a sudden, because he sees a divorce letter, he is now husband of the year? Hmm, could this be along the lines of Debrief's thread opened today? He possibly has been hoping you have been miserable, pining for him and suffering while he likely has been enjoying sowing wild oats about town. He hates to see you try to move on. A common trait among abusers I must add because they always want to have that control over you. He has had 1yr and 8 months to try to make things up and he didn't take the opportunity, why now all of a sudden when you want to move on?

Is it possible he has changed? Maybe. It would be great if the family could reconcile and live happily ever after, sure. I would tread very carefully if I were you though. I trust there is going to be a lot of pressure from the families to bring you back together. Be sure you take.your.time.

poster I feel for you, and wonder if we are twins - cos my daughters father is starting to wake from his own coma.

Do you want to move on and are you ready to? if you are do what you need to do and move on - this latest move from ur ex is a classic move - didn't he know how to contact you and your family before papers were served? abeg - his ego and pride has been bruised and he can't believe ur not sitting around waiting for him like he assumed.

Change ke!!! I refuse to believe that. That man is a chameleon.
I made an attempt once to contact him when my baby was about 4months old, asked him if he wasnt interested in the baby's welfare. Do you know what he said? He said he wasnt going to send money for anything and that even if he considers it, he will ask his elder brother first.
He reasons and acts like a child, destroyed my dignity and self esteem. Made me feel terrible all the time, never saw anything good in me. Made me feel like i was good for nothing and could do nothing good.
I remeber once i (when we were (co-habiting), i pleaded with him to make arrangement for someone to make a small banner for me so i will advertise my business. This man said he wasnt interested in my stu..pi.d business. I finally started that "stu..pi.d" business after the birth of my son and now i have really really excelled in it. I never believed i could actually be this good. The strenght to finally start the business came from my baby.

I am sure that he still hasnt believed it that i left him. He used to say he knows i cant leave him because women value their marriage too much and would never quit no matter what their patners do to them. He also told me so many times that no man would have married me if he hadnt married me. Imagine!!!

He frustrated me sooooooo much to the point of going out with the girl in the next compound( those days). Had lots of lovers both from badoo.com and on the streets.
He even spent our first valentine together as a couple with a badoo.com girl.
Abeg, i suffer. You guys know the funny thing? I didnt do anything to this man. Yeah i know no one would believe but i dont care.

After he abused me when i was pregnant, his elder sisters husband asked him ' what did she do to you that you had to resort to physically abusing her knowing she is pregnant'? He said and i quote..... "uncle, na devil work ooooo, i no know wetin push me). That was the first and last time and that was the last straw.

Like my sister said, you deserve a good and better man.

All the crap about him being a changed person is just story. He wants to trap me so i will be his slave forever.

PrettyCindy: I am sure that he still hasnt believed it that i left him. He used to say he knows i cant leave him because women value their marriage too much and would never quit no matter what their patners do to them. He also told me so many times that no man would have married me if he hadnt married me. Imagine!!!

He frustrated me sooooooo much to the point of going out with the girl in the next compound( those days). Had lots of lovers both from badoo.com and on the streets.
He even spent our first valentine together as a couple with a badoo.com girl.
Abeg, i suffer. You guys know the funny thing? I didnt do anything to this man. Yeah i know no one would believe but i dont care.

After he abused me when i was pregnant, his elder sisters husband asked him ' what did she do to you that you had to resort to physically abusing her knowing she is pregnant'? He said and i quote..... "uncle, na devil work ooooo, i no know wetin push me). That was the first and last time and that was the last straw.

Like my sister said, you deserve a good and better man.


All the crap about him being a changed person is just story. He wants to trap me so i will be his slave forever.

Sorry just a question,do you really need a divorce from the court for a traditional wedding? Do they do that in customary court or what?

PrettyCindy: I am sure that he still hasnt believed it that i left him. He used to say he knows i cant leave him because women value their marriage too much and would never quit no matter what their patners do to them. He also told me so many times that no man would have married me if he hadnt married me. Imagine!!!

He frustrated me sooooooo much to the point of going out with the girl in the next compound( those days). Had lots of lovers both from badoo.com and on the streets.
He even spent our first valentine together as a couple with a badoo.com girl.
Abeg, i suffer. You guys know the funny thing? I didnt do anything to this man. Yeah i know no one would believe but i dont care.

After he abused me when i was pregnant, his elder sisters husband asked him ' what did she do to you that you had to resort to physically abusing her knowing she is pregnant'? He said and i quote..... "uncle, na devil work ooooo, i no know wetin push me). That was the first and last time and that was the last straw.

Like my sister said, you deserve a good and better man.

All the crap about him being a changed person is just story. He wants to trap me so i will be his slave forever.

where you a slave before?
so if you have made up your mind not to return to him,why are you telling us na.

Hmmmm... Thats pathetic!










so how can i advice u

i would have said the guy is a cow but a goat is better...so he is a goat

Yes, its possible he is a changed man but am not willing to find out and experiment.

I know for sure that i can never ever respect him again, love and trust are out of the question, i cant even imagine sharing my life and beautiful body with that man. Moreover, i cant think of any reason at all why i should go back to that man.
Just like in that Tyler Perry's movie where Janet Jackson told her friends going through marital problems to make a list of the good and bad side of their men and see which tops, i have done that and as you would expect, his ugly sides tipped the scale.

What didnt i do for this man? Washed his clothes, cooked exremely delicious meal for him (my mama thot me well....lol), respected him, even referred to him as 'sir', cleaned the house and i am very good at that other department hehehe*winks* etc etc. But he say na bachelor life na im he wan live, na im i com leave am now.

go into prayers my sister , listen to the voice of God and do not follow the advice of people , IMO though

tellwsdom: Ok, any need discussing this, since you've made-up your mind??...Wetin cause the breakup in the first place as you aren't telling us nada about how it all started.

i cant start all over again. I have talked alot about it here.
If you are interested, go to my profile and look for the topic ' am a single mum, can i still find true love'. Patiently read, you will get the gist.

I did not bring it up for discussion, just jisting. Am not looking for any one to convince me to go back. Ok. just want to entertain you guys with some real life drama.

Hey sista be very careful wit dat man i can sense it dat he's only concerned in getting his child back nd if u reconcile wit him nd he gets his child i will be very sory for u cuz diz time around he will tear u into pieces

lucenzo: why should a thread that has no purpose make the front page abi na valentine fever dey worry the mods?

u de mynd dose mods. Even a 7year old knows dis is a c. ock and bull story.

touchmeder:



Sorry just a question,do you really need a divorce from the court for a traditional wedding? Do they do that in customary court or what?

yes. In situations like man where the man refuses to accept back the bride price, the only option left is the court. Even if the man refuses to honour the court's invitation, after series of adjournments, the court would rule and order you to pay the brideprice into the treasury (or something like that, my case havent reached that stage yet so i'm not sure). The man can come and collect it at any time he likes.

PrettyCindy: Yes, its possible he is a changed man but am not willing to find out and experiment.

I know for sure that i can never ever respect him again, love and trust are out of the question, i cant even imagine sharing my life and beautiful body with that man. Moreover, i cant think of any reason at all why i should go back to that man.
Just like in that Tyler Perry's movie where Janet Jackson told her friends going through marital problems to make a list of the good and bad side of their men and see which tops, i have done that and as you would expect, his ugly sides tipped the scale.

What didnt i do for this man? Washed his clothes, cooked exremely delicious meal for him (my mama thot me well....lol), respected him, even referred to him as 'sir', cleaned the house and i am very good at that other department hehehe*winks* etc etc. But he say na bachelor life na im he wan live, na im i com leave am now.

OP you don't sound married to me at all.If you guys were married that long with a pregnancy that resulted to a child and you're talking abt it as if it's some kind of soap opera, that means you're not a serious person just like the picture you're trying to paint abt him, because i don't just see the emotion attached to your story.... after passing through hell like you claimed there should be some level seriousness and emotions or is this another cooked story deliberately prepared for NL's gullible members?

PrettyCindy:
What didnt i do for this man? Washed his clothes, cooked exremely delicious meal for him (my mama thot me well....lol), respected him, even referred to him as 'sir', cleaned the house and i am very good at that other department hehehe*winks* etc etc. But he say na bachelor life na im he wan live, na im i com leave am now.

How are you sure the Kongo was good hmmm. I just dey "axe" innocent kweshon oo

Congrats on leaving with your life Many didnt leave such unions alive

all-out:
Singing. . . When a woman's fed up by R. Kelly!

Back to reality - he might have changed, perhaps you should reconsider!

In psychology, it's been said that people dont change, they only become better at what they do. They may hide their nature for a while, but people dont change.

Such is life.... I will never in this entire world love any woman nor talkless of goin into anyrelationship wit any one.... Op... Imagine you were d man and am d woman... Dat's exactly wat happened to me but not marriage then... I loved this girl to eternity and i still do, cooked for her... Fanned her most times she sleep and no light... Knews her periods everything about her even wen she is not happy... It was d most beautiful relationship ever... Continue later... Ba3low so op... Never love again... Train ur baby, he's ur inspiration... Amma be a single father... I swear... Love aint worth it at ol

PrettyCindy: Yes, its possible he is a changed man but am not willing to find out and experiment.

I know for sure that i can never ever respect him again, love and trust are out of the question, i cant even imagine sharing my life and beautiful body with that man. Moreover, i cant think of any reason at all why i should go back to that man.
Just like in that Tyler Perry's movie where Janet Jackson told her friends going through marital problems to make a list of the good and bad side of their men and see which tops, i have done that and as you would expect, his ugly sides tipped the scale.

What didnt i do for this man? Washed his clothes, cooked exremely delicious meal for him (my mama thot me well....lol), respected him, even referred to him as 'sir', cleaned the house and i am very good at that other department hehehe*winks* etc etc. But he say na bachelor life na im he wan live, na im i com leave am now.

my dear, if you love yourself dont go back to him, he's not changed. A better man whose hand will fit into yours will find you soon.

Any mistake i do shun am... Just de dodge low battery...

PrettyCindy:


i cant start all over again. I have talked alot about it here.
If you are interested, go to my profile and look for the topic ' am a single mum, can i still find true love'. Patiently read, you will get the gist.

I did not bring it up for discussion, just jisting. Am not looking for any one to convince me to go back. Ok. just want to entertain you guys with some real life drama.

you dont know how much I like what you just said. Its good to just let out your mind.