And Finally, Resume Duds

The following are excerpts from real resumes. Under no circumstances use any of these samples (unless of course you don't really want the job):
"Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."
"Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."
"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."
"Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments."
"I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."
"As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments."
"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."
"Marital status: often. Children: various."
"Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions."
"The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers."
"Finished eighth in my class of ten."
"Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting."
"I am a rabid typist."
"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
"References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me."
"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
"Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!"
"Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."

http://www.abastaff.com/resources/resume/blunders.html

And finally remember eternity.....why not decide for JESUS today