Nairalanders and marriage consellors advise if it is good for husband and wife to live seperately so as to rekindle thier love nd respect 4each other, considering d danger in it. The husband has been complaining dt his wife has not been satisfying his intimate urge, so his wife now told him dt the only solution is 4 him to go nd live seperately nd come once in a while wen possibly she must have missed him nd thier intimate activities. Presently things ar hard 4d family cos d husband is jobless. Wat do u think can be done.

Sounds senseless, which married person would reason this way? Perhaps the woman wants a way to leave the man and frolick with her lovers.

@OP
IMHO this technique could work in showing a stubborn person how important someone is in their lives.....but it could also be a way for a partner to look for greener pasture. i guess this lady believes that she'd rather be away from this man than take the BS she is taking from this man........and in the same process see if she can find someone that would treat her better.

as for what the wifey said about the this being the only solution, i can safely say that it is NOT. to get their bedroom groove back on, they should FIRST communicate and understand each other better before sex (if they cant even open up to one another on a normal setting then chances are, in the bedroom it will be even worse), then SECOND the guy should voice what he desires from his wife, and let her see if she is willing to act upon these desires, then THIRD they can seek for other alternatives to "both" be fulfilled in the bedroom, and LAST BUT NOT LEAST they can talk to some counselor (not religion ones) in order to have an unbiased view from a respectable person, regarding this issue.

Doesn't make sense if the reason is to get their sex groove back on. There are certainly other ways to employ for that.
If it was a lot of other serious issues outside of sex,I might recommend separation but in this case the wife probably has some other agenda she's pursuing.

weird...

. A jobless man should travel where! . The guy has a lot of time on his hands, this is why he has so much time for s*ex. How about investing all that time, looking for a job or money?

There is more to this story. The op mentioned about love rekindling which means that, is either their is what i call a managing love which cannot hold in a marriage or there is no love again. What happened to the love in the marriage? What did the man did that made her suggest that the love should be rekindled? A woman cannot wake up one day and make the decision to leave seperately from her husband so as to rekindle their love. She must have been heart broken. She must have been passing through emotional stress.The story is incomplete.

Thank u all 4ur contribution so far. @princess zoe, yes d story is incomplete, actually d author of d story really want 2know wat he can do to rekindle her love back apart from his wife suggestion. Sex has really been d issue here. The wife sexual urge is gone, may be due to child bearing or the hard times dey are going tru in d family. So d man is now taking it up against his wife dt she must cooperate, he even threthened to end d marriage. Summarily, wat d husband said he needs now is how to win her love nd d sexual urge back even wen der is no money nd d inability of d husband to secure a job. Pls assist!

MRbrownJAY: @OP
IMHO this technique could work in showing a stubborn person how important someone is in their lives.....but it could also be a way for a partner to look for greener pasture. i guess this lady believes that she'd rather be away from this man than take the BS she is taking from this man........and in the same process see if she can find someone that would treat her better.

as for what the wifey said about the this being the only solution, i can safely say that it is NOT. to get their bedroom groove back on, they should FIRST communicate and understand each other better before sex (if they cant even open up to one another on a normal setting then chances are, in the bedroom it will be even worse), then SECOND the guy should voice what he desires from his wife, and let her see if she is willing to act upon these desires, then THIRD they can seek for other alternatives to "both" be fulfilled in the bedroom, and LAST BUT NOT LEAST they can talk to some counselor (not religion ones) in order to have an unbiased view from a respectable person, regarding this issue.

gbam

Mantop thank you for concurring with me. Now the man must bend. He must stoop to win back his wife's love. I doubt whether child bearing was what caused the lack of sex and lost feelings. There is or was strife going on btw them which sucked the love that once existed in the marriage. The man shouldn't be harsh about it . He is the head and the head is the gatherer, the organiser, the leader which is also the servant just like Jesus showed us in the bible. Jesus goes extra mile to save His own. And that is how the relationship btw a man and his wife should be. Threatening the wife with divorce will worsen the matter and will equally affect him because every body is at the receiving end when it comes to marriage. The next woman might be the worst. And if he is a christian, he is only allowed to divorce when adultery is involved which he too must have been faithful otherwise he becomes a full certified adulterous man if he enters into another marriage. He needs wisdom. He needs to be patient, i mean very patient. He equally needs to know why the wife is not opening up her heart. He should communicate with the wife to know why she is still stife. All communications must be done calmly, sincerely, politely and lovingly. Women are very emotional and sensitive in which if they are hurt, you will go extra miles to bring back their feelings. Again, if he has cheated before and his wife knew about it, that may be the reason why his wife's feelings collapsed completely . Unfaithfulness shatters trust. Without trust, love will not grow. Without trust, tolerance will die. Without trust, understanding will fade away.Trust is like a newly bought mirrow which if it breaks, it becomes dangerous even if one decides to bring back the broken pieces together again, it will not appear like the way it used to be because there will be cracks all over except if magic is applied which in marriage means divine intervention. In other words, he needs God. He needs to give his life to christ and dedicate his marriage to God. It is only God that can fix the unfixables, do the undoables and work the unworkables. I pray that he gets another job that will enable him fend for his family.