So we've bn in dis relationship for over a year. I know he cheats, (which. Painfully gets to me, straight right into my bone marrow) but I cant seem to find any evidence to nail him. Gush! He plays his game neatly without a single trace. I've tried reaching him severally at night and my boos phone is busy for long minutes, he keeps claiming its an international call. Seen just a few txt messages with nothing concreate to hit on. Yeah I lov him but I honestly can't stand being cheated on. He introduced himself to my folks just last week which means he's wants to marry me. The cheating aspects drives me insane. I want to know what's up in his sleeves? I want to catch him. Cos I don't want to end up with a man who leaves his family at home and end up withother girls out there(I know its normal with almost all guys) but why can't mine be diferent? I need advices please, I can't stand it.this is one of the most thing scaring me away from marriage. And it stares right at my face, I'm scared, I want him caught red handed. How do I go about this?

It's like you want to die early. You better let sleeping dogs lie or better still, take a break.

Is heartbreaking my dear.I caught mine in the act because i visited unannounced.I thank God for revealing the real him to me.I wish u well.

Hire somebody to set his ass up

so after catching him red handed what will u do? fight him or end the relationship? u better wake up.

why don't you confront him and tell him your fears ? Communication is the key to any relationship. Maybe all you need is a reassurance of his commitment to you.

Henry praise: so after catching him red handed what will u do? fight him or end the relationship? u better wake up.

Good question..as d adage goes ; beware wat u look for cos u mite find it.
Have found out most girls just want t get married t feel secure or complete not necessarily cos they're ready. u are already thinking of marraige yet are running around distrustful n suspicious, is dat how you're going t carry on in marraige? abi u tink marraige will change anything??
U need t take a chill pill n work on yourself n ur relationship bf going any furthr cos as of now.... U aint serious yet

SniperInADiaper: Hire somebody to set his ass up

childish

Henry praise: so after catching him red handed what will u do? fight him or end the relationship? u better wake up.

look dear, finding out about a cheating spouse/boyfriend is one thing. Him admitting to it another thing. It only helps me tackle the issues better

dBard:

Good question..as d adage goes ; beware wat u look for cos u mite find it.
Have found out most girls just want t get married t feel secure or complete not necessarily cos they're ready. u are already thinking of marraige yet are running around distrustful n suspicious, is dat how you're going t carry on in marraige? abi u tink marraige will change anything??
U need t take a chill pill n work on yourself n ur relationship bf going any furthr cos as of now.... U aint serious yet

thanks for your advice honey. Trust me, no girl wants to find herself secured cos of marriage. The society we find ourselves puts that mentality of insecurity and completeness. Its totally different outside here.A large number of married ladies regret being married (find out yourself) They only admit it within themselves (the ladies) It all still falls down to the society

Its not about being ready or suspicious or even distrust. Its about fighting it now to avoid it later(not physically o). If I don't fight it now, then who I'm I to fight it later. Communication is what we hv built the foundation of our relationship on from day one till date. Now tell me, how can I communicate when he refuses to admit, when there's no evidence to bring the issues to discussion.Off course I've tried a number of times to bring the matter to table, it just becomes a waste of speech nd energy. Nothing comes out of it. That's the only reason I want him caught.

You already feel so strongly about this and you keep hurting yourself looking for evidence that he cheats.

You would not stop looking for evidence even as you have none and it will keep driving you crazy. Eventually, you will drag him down too and make him nuts with insecurity.

My advice, let the man be

Mynd_44: You already feel so strongly about this and you keep hurting yourself looking for evidence that he cheats.

You would not stop looking for evidence even as you have none and it will keep driving you crazy. Eventually, you will drag him down too and make him nuts with insecurity.

My advice, let the man be

you say this because you are unaware of what it feels like to be in a ladies shoes

Seecreets: you say this because you are unaware of what it feels like to be in a ladies shoes

I say this cos I know that jealousy is not good. It makes your mind clouded and you lose sight of everything else.

You get bitter and not fun to be with. You start nagging and you become the evil witch

Mynd_44:
I say this cos I know that jealousy is not good. It makes your mind clouded and you lose sight of everything else.

You get bitter and not fun to be with. You start nagging and you become the evil witch

I get your point now. Believe me my case is completely different. I don't nag,cos I can't stand it either. No matter the issu I must find a way to sort it out, and nagging is way way out of my proceedures

Seecreets: I get your point now. Believe me my case is completely different. I don't nag,cos I can't stand it either. No matter the issu I must find a way to sort it out, and nagging is way way out of my proceedures

Why not choose to trust him until you find evidence?

And oh yeah, what happens when you get evidence that he is cheating?

Are you going to leave him once you find your evidence?

Don't open a pandora's box if you know you can't handle what's inside.........

Why look for what you never kept?
Fear what you don't know!
Somethings are better left in the dark...

If u hav d cobviction dat he's not true to u,u really nid not bother urself bout catchin him in d act cus u will never...dats a true playa for u,he's smarter dan u(smooth operator).If however u catch him,what do u intend to do? Walk out/cry?...u really can get a St on dat cus ur next myt b worse

Funny! Are u sure ur mind isnt playing tricks with you,most ladies have dis habit of having dis insecure feeling when dating,if u dnt have any clue,fact nt even a tiny one jst forget it and play on.

Some truths are better left buried, some secrets, untouched...

U either move away from it, or kill urself with it's revelation!

ibkaye: Are you going to leave him once you find your evidence?

Mynd_44:
Why not choose to trust him until you find evidence?

And oh yeah, what happens when you get evidence that he is cheating?

please read above

mr.drizzy:
Funny! Are u sure ur mind isnt playing tricks with you,most ladies have dis habit of having dis insecure feeling when dating,if u dnt have any clue,fact nt even a tiny one jst forget it and play on.

if I dint have the tiniest clue, I won't be here asking this

kliq: If u hav d cobviction dat he's not true to u,u really nid not bother urself bout catchin him in d act cus u will never...dats a true playa for u,he's smarter dan u(smooth operator).If however u catch him,what do u intend to do? Walk out/cry?...u really can get a St on dat cus ur next myt b worse

please also read my post above

I truly understand your fears gurl.... It takes a sincere heart to worry on such matter to this extent. The thing I detest most and would be very hard to tolerate from my future partner would be unfaithfulness. I so detest it that I would rather remain single for life than being cheated upon for once.

Anywayz, I am the kind person that don't allow things bother him. There are two ways I arrest issues that present themselves to my mind. First, I try as much as I can to let it die a natural death and forget about it for life. Secondly, if its something that proves abortive, then the only alternative would be to face it and arrest it asap cause trust me, I hate to have something bother me.

Well... people can be quick to judge you unfairly because they feel you are just hallucinating or having a phantasmagoria. Since it has become so pressing that you find it hard to bear, then I would say you satisfy your cravings and figure out a way to catch him red handed. I cant tell you what to do or how to go about it. You know him and as such you should figure out a way to clear up everything and be free becauee I tell you girl, you dont wanna continue like this as it will ruin you big time.

Have you thought about it like you are just being insecured? You know sometimes when there are emotions flaring, insecurity tends to show its ugly face and make you fave fears that are unreal.

I would advice you think it through and through and try to see if you can kill it. If you can't, then its either you figure out a way to confirm your fears or you leave him for good. If you get to find out its true what would you do? And if leaving him would be the option; if you leave him, how sure are you that the next man would not do the same? And if you wont leave him but talk him out of it, i would rather you do that now and get reassured once more that he loves you and wont hurt you in any way. There are lots of questions that needs answering. Don't you agree?

Take it slow so you dont make a mistake please.....

tap in to his phone for just 2 weeks, if nothing special is detected, you are simply insecure.

I've tried reaching him severally at night and my boos phone is busy for long minutes, he keeps claiming its an international call

There is a very strong case you are simply insecure based on what you wrote above as fuelling your suspicion.

Ohboy see epistle

dmcdad: I truly understand your fears gurl.... It takes a sincere heart to worry on such matter to this extent. The thing I detest most and would be very hard to tolerate from my future partner would be unfaithfulness. I so detest it that I would rather remain single for life than being cheated upon for once.

Anywayz, I am the kind person that don't allow things bother him. There are two ways I arrest issues that present themselves to my mind. First, I try as much as I can to let it die a natural death and forget about it for life. Secondly, if its something that proves abortive, then the only alternative would be to face it and arrest it asap cause trust me, I hate to have something bother me.

Well... people can be quick to judge you unfairly because they feel you are just hallucinating or having a phantasmagoria. Since it has become so pressing that you find it hard to bear, then I would say you satisfy your cravings and figure out a way to catch him red handed. I cant tell you what to do or how to go about it. You know him and as such you should figure out a way to clear up everything and be free becauee I tell you girl, you dont wanna continue like this as it will ruin you big time.

Have you thought about it like you are just being insecured? You know sometimes when there are emotions flaring, insecurity tends to show its ugly face and make you fave fears that are unreal.

I would advice you think it through and through and try to see if you can kill it. If you can't, then its either you figure out a way to confirm your fears or you leave him for good. If you get to find out its true what would you do? And if leaving him would be the option; if you leave him, how sure are you that the next man would not do the same? And if you wont leave him but talk him out of it, i would rather you do that now and get reassured once more that he loves you and wont hurt you in any way. There are lots of questions that needs answering. Don't you agree?

Take it slow so you dont make a mistake please.....

*sighs of relief* so relieving to know that someone truly understands me. Thanks so much. I actually hav a few clues I only want a situation where denial is impossible.thnks once again

emiye: tap in to his phone for just 2 weeks, if nothing special is detected, you are simply insecure.



There is a very strong case you are simply insecure based on what you wrote above as fuelling your suspicion.

like I said above, there are clues. Seen couple of strange text messages frm a particular number, off course if I decide to confront him, he'll give some silly stories.besides that so many more.like the guy above sed, I'll just take it slowy when doing my findings out.you guys rock. Thanks once again

Seecreets: So we've bn in dis relationship for over a year. I know he cheats, (which. Painfully gets to me, straight right into my bone marrow) but I cant seem to find any evidence to nail him. Gush! He plays his game neatly without a single trace. I've tried reaching him severally at night and my boos phone is busy for long minutes, he keeps claiming its an international call. Seen just a few txt messages with nothing concreate to hit on. Yeah I lov him but I honestly can't stand being cheated on. He introduced himself to my folks just last week which means he's wants to marry me. The cheating aspects drives me insane. I want to know what's up in his sleeves? I want to catch him. Cos I don't want to end up with a man who leaves his family at home and end up withother girls out there(I know its normal with almost all guys) but why can't mine be diferent? I need advices please, I can't stand it.this is one of the most thing scaring me away from marriage. And it stares right at my face, I'm scared, I want him caught red handed. How do I go about this?

Wen you get him what will you do to him?

Wen you get him what will you do to him?[/quote]please read thru the thread before commenting

Seecreets: please read thru the thread before commenting

You're looking for something that's not lost and would simply create it yourself. I had an experience once where the lady ended up exchanging messages with a lady friend pretending to be me. The friend was so suprised, played along and sent "my love messages" to our mutual friends telling them I'd gone wacko. Eventually the 1st lady got a call from someone saying what I was up to. You can guess the humiliation to all concerned and my action afterwards

IMO, you'll end up driving him away.

Yanga dey sleep, trouble wan go wake am. OYO

You say you are sure he cheats,what else are you looking for na?

If you are sure and don't want to be with a cheat then leave, catching him won't make any difference as far as I'm concerned since you are already sure.

See confusion.

Seecreets: So we've bn in dis relationship for over a year. I know he cheats, (which. Painfully gets to me, straight right into my bone marrow) but I cant seem to find any evidence to nail him. Gush! He plays his game neatly without a single trace. I've tried reaching him severally at night and my boos phone is busy for long minutes, he keeps claiming its an international call. Seen just a few txt messages with nothing concreate to hit on. Yeah I lov him but I honestly can't stand being cheated on.[b] He introduced himself to my folks just last week which means he's wants to marry me. [/b]The cheating aspects drives me insane. I want to know what's up in his sleeves? I want to catch him. Cos I don't want to end up with a man who leaves his family at home and end up withother girls out there(I know its normal with almost all guys) but why can't mine be diferent? I need advices please, I can't stand it.this is one of the most thing scaring me away from marriage. And it stares right at my face, I'm scared, I want him caught red handed. How do I go about this?

You are about to lose a husband.

Whats more important, him cheating or him respecting you?

To get a man that doesn't cheat one way or the other, is a hard task.

Just focus on your relationship and dont bother urself with the flings.

^ ^ ^ ^ Just see the siggy of the poster above. What is that
@op, I really don't know what to say to you. If this relationship is tending towards marriage, you really want to know what you're getting into...none of us here knows your man as much as you do, try and be sure. It could be your mind playing tricks on you but someitmes, I believe in the word 'INSTINCT'. I wouldn't advice you to just brush it aside, at the same time, you don't have evidence, you shouldn't behave rashly. Be careful, I really hope you get wisdom to tackle this.