my fiance and i are committed xtians. recently he got a leading from God to withdraw for three days. he will be on a fast fro these days and will be in a hotel all by himself. no cell phones, no friends, just him and God, sorta like ascetism

but i m not too comfy wt this cos im worried dat sthg bad will happen to him and he wont be within reach. also i dont know hw im gonna cope without talking to him, am i just being emotional or is there really cause for alarm?

well, am pastor segun from lagos.al i want u to know is that if u trust him, theres no cause for alarm, nothing to worry abouth.after all he is the person you want to marry but i dont see any reason why you should not have access to him of all people that is my suspecion.

Hi stephanay,

What is worrying is the location - why a "hotel"?

Try asking him that question and watch his reaction. Love is a wonderful gift - but it should be enjoyed by both people involved in a relationship. If he's not comfortable being honest with you on this, you have every reason to be quite concerned.

May God grant you both the needed wisdom.

no cause for alarm. an uncle of mine used to go for 7 days and more and his family was just fine.

syrup:

Hi stephanay,

What is worrying is the location - why a "hotel"?

i didnt even think of that. Good point.

@Stephanay:

my fiance and i are committed xtians. recently he got a leading from God to withdraw for three days. he will be on a fast fro these days and will be in a hotel all by himself. no cell phones, no friends, just him and God, sorta like ascetism

but i m not too comfy wt this because im worried that sthg bad will happen to him and he wont be within reach. also i don't know hw im going to cope without talking to him, am i just being emotional or is there really cause for alarm?

If a person is wise enough to withdraw from all activities, especially the bad ones by secluding hims/herself in a known place, that a person should be commended. In the case of this "fiance" of yours, he is in a hotel, a location you seem to know. Unless you doubt his sexual honesty because you and him might not have restricted your need for each other before marriage, then your concern is fully grounded.

What you need therefore is to marry him, as soon as possible. By your marriage to him, he will have the expectation that you may visit him, so that you are certain that he is okay, in future "three days" of seclusions. You may also have in your home a room, if not a wing dedicated for his "3 days" of future seclusions.

The Yoruba proverb applies to both of you here: There is a 1000 and 1 brides for a future bridegroom. Only his marriage to anyone or ones of them make that a person or persons his bride(s). You are not his bride yet, so become his bride, or tell him your concern or get a life of your own in addition to getting a man who is ready to buy the cow instead of milking it free of charge.

@Olabowale,

How are you today?

Your advice will be appreciated by the seeker, I'm sure. However, there might be a few things that some of us as women would rather handle more carefully.

olabowale:

@Stephanay:
If a person is wise enough to withdraw from all activities, especially the bad ones by secluding hims/herself in a known place, that a person should be commended.

Quite true.

olabowale:

In the case of this "fiance" of yours, he is in a hotel, a location you seem to know. Unless you doubt his sexual honesty because you and him might not have restricted your need for each other before marriage, then your concern is fully grounded.

In reality, trusting or doubting a fiance's sexual honesty is not the central problem here. Even when one trusts their sexual honesty, an "hotel" is not the best place to test that seclusion. My worry as a woman (if we are going to be honest with ourselves) is the location: why must it be a "hotel"?

Consider the fact that he wants to be totally incommuncado during that period. . . in a hotel, of course. Something is suspect here - and i'm speaking out of experience. That is why he should explain why that should be the proper wilderness for his spiritual exercise. If he is not comfortable enough to honestly face up with that question, there is every reason to be more concerned here.

olabowale:

What you need therefore is to marry him, as soon as possible. By your marriage to him, he will have the expectation that you may visit him, so that you are certain that he is okay, in future "three days" of seclusions

This is not going to avail anything. First, men don't like to be pressured into marriage; second, women don't like to rush this important decision in life. Third, marrying him does not remove the problem of his choice location for this get-away experience; and fourth, he definitely does not wish to entertain any visit or contact during that period! (Read the OP again, carefully). This is a serious matter that comes from a woman's heart - we should help this issue in very real-life practical sense.

In all, I'm sure the seeker is grown up enough to know what to do after sifting through the various contributions. My call is this: if one would not be tempted to fish, then don't go strolling near the beach with a hook!