This could be a personal problem. I doubt it though. I think it is just the city where i am at in the United States. I am an upwardly mobile young black man. I have been in this city for a few years now and I haven't been with a decent woman that is beautiful to my taste. I work among mostly white folks. Even though I am cool working with them, none of them has caught my attention as a suitable love partner. They are either too skinny or too pale or obese. The few decent black girls--non smokers of weed or drugs, no excessive make up, ostentatious hair extensions, in my job are taken.

Outside my job, the decent white or black are overweight or lack decent higher education. The story they tell with regards to education is that they will be starting next fall or spring. You free them and call them one year later they will say the same story. Either about taking prerequisites for nursing or one ridiculous major. Or you discover they are just sobering up after having a child for some irresponsible baby daddy.

Outside work, I have comes across pretty, bootylicious and yummy black girls but they are indecent(opposite of my definition of decent) ones. For the love of me, I can't deal with this group because they are extremely materialistic and shallow in their reasoning. They sometimes become decent after they have had a child with an irresponsible baby daddy and become overweight due to childbirth.

When it comes down to a decent pretty naija girl which will be perfect for me, I don't have them in this city. In this case I mean I rarely see them or know where they are. I went to a Nigerian wedding recently in a different city to check things out. No show. Nigerian girls from home and those born here are becoming overweight too.I am not that interested in interstate or distant intercity relationship but I am open to try.

I have noticed among some of my friends and acquaintances in other states that they are dealing with this same issue and are settling with the obese, skinny, freckle faced girls. I don't want my city to chose a partner for me. I don't want to deviate from the vision of the kind of partner I want. I don't want to settle for a girl that is below the quality of my dream girl because because that is the only quality of girls my city can provide as my other friends have done.

Young Nigerian men in America that have found decent, pretty partners( not too skinny or overweight but curvy) white,black, latino, asian any race should advise this brother here on what to do. Advice me on places to go to find these quality girl i want. Don't tell me to settle for the type I have just described. I know that in Nigeria we have a lot of pretty girls too to go pick from. But I still have to figure how to avoid the indecent from the decent. God bless you as you advice.

I understand you.. The kind of girl you have in mind is rare(ogugua's/achukwunet's type, is what you want abi?), even in Naija. But, what city are you in?

You cut across to me as a very picky/choosey fellow. Its very true that getting the̶̲̥̅̊ right spouse/life partner isn't easy, However, I suggest you soft-pedal.
In as much as you want your supposed "dream girl", I must remind you that nobody in this world is perfect. Relax your rigid standards, no man or woman stays the̶̲̥̅̊ same forever. We all at some point wilt like flowers, we ll grow old, wrinkle, develope some laughter lines, strechmarks, body fat, sagging and shrinking, et al.
Please, for the̶̲̥̅̊ love Q̸̮̮̃f God, the̶̲̥̅̊ girl who will make your life blissful might be standing right inside Q̸̮̮̃f you. Do you visit libraries? Religious functions? Fundraising dinners, professional/educational seminars? If no, please do so ASAP, because good girl hang out in such places. Don't look for a life partner in a club or at the̶̲̥̅̊ shopping mall. Also, consider going back to your counrty Q̸̮̮̃f origin to find a wife, home is best. Family can assist you with that.
I wish you all the̶̲̥̅̊ best in your quest. Cheers

Brother this is a serious matter.

I know what you're going through man. Am having the same challenge at present. The thing is we can't judge people by appearance. Some may be fat and lacking decent education but deep down are beautiful with kind heart who will make you happy and free turning your house into a peaceful home. The ones you think are hot, beautiful with class could turn out to be your worst nightmare. That's life. Just settle for the one who makes you comfortable and free. The journey starts with you.
By the way how is America? Make sure you send me your wedding invitation card. :-)

Lmao at some ignorant comments!

I taya!

Mrs.Chima:
Lmao at some ignorant comments!

I taya!

ms chima you no get advice for the young man. Tell him what to do

She will be waiting for under a baobab tree

Miscellanous:

ms chima you no get advice for the young man. Tell him what to do

Nothing is going to help him.

Outta 100%, you can only find 7% of decent woman in america, the rest are hoes, strippers, bitchez, overweight baby mamas, college nd high sch dropouts etc....... Guy, dat place too dangerous to marry o! Make another man no helep u nyansh ur wife.

Tosinville: Outta 100%, you can only find 7% of decent woman in america, the rest are hoes, strippers, bitchez, overweight baby mamas, college nd high sch dropouts etc....... Guy, dat place too dangerous to marry o! Make another man no helep u nyansh ur wife.

Do you live in the US to be able to come up with this conclusion

Mrs.Chima:


Nothing is going to help him.

Tell us why

Mrs.Chima:


Nothing is going to help him.

I wonder why you are saying this. This case is not too complicated. If you have advice give.

Tosinville: Outta 100%, you can only find 7% of decent woman in america, the rest are hoes, strippers, bitchez, overweight baby mamas, college nd high sch dropouts etc....... Guy, dat place too dangerous to marry o! Make another man no helep u nyansh ur wife.

Awwwwww Tosin...that fat chick in Georgia dumped ya huh?

Lol at 7% America don suffer ooo

<---- Im all of the above... obese, freckled face, fat, baby mama with a drinking problem.... I need a good Nigerian man. Who wants to volunteer?

Mrs.Chima:


Nothing is going to help him.

You re being pessimistic! He asked for candid advice!

confirmed25:

I wonder why you are saying this. This case is not too complicated. If you have advice give.

Please ignore her!

SniperInADiaper: <---- Im all of the above... obese, freckled face, fat, baby mama with a drinking problem.... I need a good Nigerian man. Who wants to volunteer?

I know a guy looking for your type! He says he needs a nerd too. I heard nerds re his turn on! *giggles*

@poster, Its very difficult getting a good wife here in the States. I lived in a city that has a very low Nigerian population too and I was involved in a 7 months relationship with an Akata slut before she cheated on me and got pregnant for her 'baby daddy'. She is now planning to be a single mom. Most Akata girls here have bipolar disorder and are really crazy. If you really wanna find a good wife then you might want to start attending a good church because that is the only place you can find a good girl here in America. America has a bleeped culture and according to a recent survey, 70% of black children are born out of wedlock. There is a 27 years old Akata girl I know that has 4 kids from 3 different baby daddies and she is still single,unmarried and living off welfare and food stamp.

please don't be in a rush or desperate to find a wife so you don't end up getting married to a 'crack-head' and end up getting a divorce, paying child support and losing 50% of your assets. There are also good girls in America although it is very difficult to see them but if you are patient then you will meet the right girl. As for me, If I can't find a good girl here ,then I might have to come back to Nigeria to find a good girl to marry just like my Uncle did when he was in the States.

This thread kind of stuck a chord in me cos am finding myself in exactly the same dilemma as the op. I live in New york city and like y'all know almost half of the girls are baby mamas n the few remaining ones r too crazy for my liking. I have this spanish girl am seeing but she is too big for my taste, wonder how she will look like after couple of kids....I was thinking of going the naija route to pick a wifey but the stories am hearing is not encouraging at all. Its a really sticky situation out here

francollins: This thread kind of stuck a chord in me cos am finding myself in exactly the same dilemma as the op. I live in New york city and like y'all know almost half of the girls are baby mamas n the few remaining ones r too crazy for my liking. I have this spanish girl am seeing but she is too big for my taste, wonder how she will look like after couple of kids....I was thinking of going the naija route to pick a wifey but the stories am hearing is not encouraging at all. Its a really sticky situation out here

Going home for that purpose ain't a bad idea! However, in your quest, don't go alone, go with a close friend or relative and send a spy to investigate the lady that piques your interest. Cheers

francollins: This thread kind of stuck a chord in me cos am finding myself in exactly the same dilemma as the op. I live in New york city and like y'all know almost half of the girls are baby mamas n the few remaining ones r too crazy for my liking. I have this spanish girl am seeing but she is too big for my taste, wonder how she will look like after couple of kids....I was thinking of going the naija route to pick a wifey but the stories am hearing is not encouraging at all. Its a really sticky situation out here

lol. when you bring a Nigeria woman to America she goes crazy after like 5 years of marriage. America society and culture always influence Nigeria women negatively. I have seen lots of Nigerian marriages fail here

Allohrandy: lol. when you bring a Nigeria woman to America she goes crazy after like 5 years of marriage. America society and culture always influence Nigeria women negatively. I have seen lots of Nigerian marriages fail here

Please don't draw hasty conclusions! Ladies are the very same everywhere (attitudinally). Bad women are bad world wide and good women are good worldwide.
Where you re looking for your woman and where you find her matters. I pray you get lucky if you already ain't. Cheers

This thread is an eye opener.

Allohrandy: @poster, Its very difficult getting a good wife here in the States. I lived in a city that has a very low Nigerian population too and I was involved in a 7 months relationship with an Akata slut before she cheated on me and got pregnant for her 'baby daddy'. She is now planning to be a single mom. Most Akata girls here have bipolar disorder and are really crazy. If you really wanna find a good wife then you might want to start attending a good church because that is the only place you can find a good girl here in America. America has a bleeped culture and according to a recent survey, 70% of black children are born out of wedlock. There is a 27 years old Akata girl I know that has 4 kids from 3 different baby daddies and she is still single,unmarried and living off welfare and food stamp.

please don't be in a rush or desperate to find a wife so you don't end up getting married to a 'crack-head' and end up getting a divorce, paying child support and losing 50% of your assets. There are also good girls in America although it is very difficult to see them but if you are patient then you will meet the right girl. As for me, If I can't find a good girl here ,then I might have to come back to Nigeria to find a good girl to marry just like my Uncle did when he was in the States.

I sometimes wonder why so many American women have Borderline Personality Disorder. It's getting too much. These women looks sweet on the outside but the inside hell are completely crazy. Marrying any one of them could send you a one way ticket to divorce. Most of my friends who got married to this kind of women ended up in divorce. But to be honest, the feminist controlled system in America are to blame. Mind control, yep I smell a conspiracy.

deeobserver209:

I sometimes wonder why so many American women have Borderline Personality Disorder. It's getting too much. These women looks sweet on the outside but the inside hell are completely crazy. Marrying any one of them could send you a one way ticket to divorce. Most of my friends who got married to this kind of women ended up in divorce. But to be honest, the feminist controlled system in America are to blame. Mind control, yep I smell a conspiracy.

In as much as I love being a woman, I believe women should be respected and women have rights to life et al, I can never be a feminist! I see feminism as a socio-psycho-economic implement fashioned by women for women, to manipulate women, rule women, mock and ruin women eventually.
As pertaining to your comment about the bolshevic, sarcastic and bitter attitude of afro-American women, well, the saying goes "charity begins @ home". The home is the bedrock of learning, its where our lives are formed or malformed.
Most of these women with that psychological defect grew up seeing themselves as worthless. They ve been abused, assaulted, used, manipulated, rejected and broken. Now the aftermath of all this is bitterness and insecurity.
When a person is bitter, he/she becomes irrational in judgement and illtempered. When an individual is insecure, they become defensive, aggressive, possessive and attention-seeking (drama queens).
The solution to this their problem is a good and patient man who is disciplined and tough, yet loving.
Also these ladies have to come out of the cocoon of "I'm strong and I can do it all by myself". They ain't strong per se, they only live in self denial. Once they re willing within their hearts to give change a trial and be nice, their lives re going to get better. You can't move forward if your heart is still where you re coming from. Cheers as you meditate brother!

BellaDonaFema:
You re being pessimistic! He asked for candid advice!

And YOU are?

I don't think any of you can handle raw candor. Let it go.

BellaDonaFema:
Please ignore her!

Yeah ignore and don't bust a vessel.

SniperInADiaper: <---- Im all of the above... obese, freckled face, fat, baby mama with a drinking problem.... I need a good Nigerian man. Who wants to volunteer?

Allohrandy: lol. when you bring a Nigeria woman to America she goes crazy after like 5 years of marriage. America society and culture always influence Nigeria women negatively. I have seen lots of Nigerian marriages fail here

You have managed to paint Nigerian women as brainless and weak. If they divert from what YOU think they should be then they are not "worthy". Good to see how your daughters will turn out.

I hope your mother isn't Nigerian. Good thing about airplanes...you can always go home.

francollins: This thread kind of stuck a chord in me cos am finding myself in exactly the same dilemma as the op. I live in New york city and like y'all know almost half of the girls are baby mamas n the few remaining ones r too crazy for my liking. I have this spanish girl am seeing but she is too big for my taste, wonder how she will look like after couple of kids....I was thinking of going the naija route to pick a wifey but the stories am hearing is not encouraging at all. Its a really sticky situation out here

Then why are you with a fat girl You must like all of that excess blubber or you wouldn't even waste your time!

So you get a girl fresh from ole Nigeria....GOD forbid she gains about 200 pounds...what are you going to do then? Ship her back to the village?

Instead of looking for a mate..WORK on YOU and study about true marriage and its meaning...if you don't...you will become a statistic.

Allohrandy: @poster, Its very difficult getting a good wife here in the States. I lived in a city that has a very low Nigerian population too and I was involved in a 7 months relationship with an Akata slut before she cheated on me and got pregnant for her 'baby daddy'. She is now planning to be a single mom. Most Akata girls here have bipolar disorder and are really crazy. If you really wanna find a good wife then you might want to start attending a good church because that is the only place you can find a good girl here in America. America has a bleeped culture and according to a recent survey, 70% of black children are born out of wedlock. There is a 27 years old Akata girl I know that has 4 kids from 3 different baby daddies and she is still single,unmarried and living off welfare

Now you are hurt and want vengeance against every "akata" that looks like her! She betrayed you with an American man and now the survey made sense to you huh! Do you own anything that went wrong in your American relationship? Be honest.

There are alot of foreign women who have created bashing threads about how Nigerian men have scammed, used, cheated, hurt, lied, abandoned, and betrayed them. They swore never to date another Nigerian and found bogus surveys to justified generalization.

Sounds familiar huh.