Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady - Romance - Nairaland
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| Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 7:01pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
I am a bit nervous cos I have never shared my inner feelings on this section but here I go: I read and hear a lot of negative relationships on the media including Nairaland. I also learn from friends' experiences - broken relationships, cheating partners, "maga", sex/relationship for money, etc I have never really fallen in love before (though I have been infatuated a few times with few nasty experience). I am of age, an eligible bachelor ( the only person amongst my siblings not yet married), financially stable but I am paranoid about falling in love! I am still single and I really wanna get hooked up as soon as possible because I feel a bit emotional lonely. Family pressure is also setting in. But I can't just see myself falling in love. It appears very risky. Besides, I have not been able to meet my perfect match. What can I do about this? |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 7:09pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
That means you are called to be a reverend father.(*hope she doesnt hear this*.....like caracta). Shikena! No boyfriend, no marriage tinz.  but seriously OP, you do need help. How about making appointment with a psychologist. |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 7:16pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
Bro x-fire?  na me o from oil workers zone... But seriously bros, you have to start from some where. This had always been my prayer not fall in your shoes and I preferred to find someone before the exact time. Anyways, you can find the person and it depends on your approach. You determine how you want the card played... Start from some where because there isn't really a perfect time but one thing I must warn you: Dont make the babe know say you not get experience for dating o else, she go outsmart you and when you fall in love, make sure you are in charge. Just start from somewhere. It could be someone you have been been eyeing... |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by riskit33: 7:19pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
see a shrink or a relationship expert or your pastor if you live in Nigeria, cos thatz what they're paid to do. |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by vallycan: 7:27pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
@ op did i hear u say ya paranoid for fallin in luv....u see dat's wat happens wen u began feelin less in comparism as inferiority complex now set in wit dat mind set of urs in affirmin d whole tink an before u know u becom a bachelor for life as age an tym waits for no man...giv luv a chance no matta wat u hear or see...tinzs dat works for peter may not work for paul..let ya decision b final as u kill such mindset....kiptryin no matta aw many tyms ya bin jilted throu dat u may see a ryt one for yaself......evry gal u see are specially made for a spexific man an thru luv settles d plan of God as she may becomes ya missin rib in future tym... |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by nenergy(m): 7:32pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
I understand how you feel. But if you never try, you'll never know. Find a girl, Look beyond her beauty, if she has the values you cherish- then give love a chance. |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Sijo01(f): 7:47pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
The greatest risk in like is not taking risk, in order words its risky not to take a risk. . . . . make a move Bro, love is a beautiful thing. |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 7:48pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
2s£xy:2sexy?! really long time. Really, I wish I could draw back the hands of time. I was too focused on academic and career excellence. And now that I have achieved a few milestones, I find out that romantic life is almost zero. But exactly do I start from "somewhere"? Is it too late for me to love. Or should I just marry someone I am interested in? |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Caracta(f): 7:55pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
idnoble135: That means you are called to be a reverend father.(*hope she doesnt hear this*.....like caracta). Shikena! No boyfriend, no marriage tinz. Present!  |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 8:00pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
Caracta:lol, i reserve my comment. I dont want to derail. Check your mail. |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 8:30pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
Bros, na really long time. I understand your point and now that you have achieved your set milestone, no woman in your life. I saw this coming and I decided take the risk. Yes, I got burnt in the process too but I learnt my lessons too. I didn't want a situation where I may have reached my dream and then start chasing ladies. As a matter of fact, I too concentrated on my studies at one time and didn't even start dating on time such that people thought I was a gay lol. Yeah, it's weird in a way you know when your life style does not conform with the norm and people will start seeing you as a freak. Here is what happen to a friend too. Some people here may not believe it but I don't care and will share it. When we were in school, there was this girl who stood by my friend. She would send him money occassionally... But after we left school, one of the multinational E & P employed him. You have been in the system and you can imagine what his status could be.. But one day he got an invite from a lady and he felt it was just an invite, which he honored anyway. On getting there her plan was to seduce him. He gracefully declined and left her. Why did she do that? She saw a couple of 6 figures in his account because she is a staff of one of the banks. Such is the case when you attain enviable financial status, which is risky... But that is not to say good girls don't exist. They do but only you will have to find her. One thing about me is that I have learnt to study people... It helps a lot. If you find someone you like, go for her. Do not be afraid of heart break. To be frank, heart break is good... But we don't realise it initially. In all, take note of the words that comes out of her mouth, watch her character and correlate these elements. Do not be carry away by 'touches' but I know there are good girls out there, though hard. My friend is getting married towards the end of this year to the girl that stood by him while he was in school. The best time would have been when you hadn't arrived but all hope is not lost. You can do it bro... Start with ladies you have often admired because me no go believe say u never admire any girl at all... It's not possible. x-fire: 1 Like |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by UjSizzle(f): 9:07pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
OP love is a scary thing, but i've also heard how beautiful it can be when you're with the right person. It's a risk you need to take willingly. Here's how to start: STOP thinking you can't fall in love and START thinking you can fall in love. It all begins with your mind. You need to get rid of the negative thoughts and start thinking positively. Everything else will fall in place  |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 9:12pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
that's it...uj_sizzle: OP love is a scary thing, but i've also heard how beautiful it can be when you're with the right person. |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 9:17pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
x-fire:Life is all about risks and so is Love. We loose to gain and gain to loose. All is well that ends well my friend, so please open your heart and love any lady you believe has a soft spot for you. However, don't love like a fool; be wise, articulate and firm. Good luck. |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 9:23pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
BellaDonaFema: However, don't love like a fool; be wise, articulate and firm. Good luck. that's it! But most times and on first attempt, we often end up being a fool. |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 9:31pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
2s£xy:Yes we atimes love like fools, but its necessary to draw the line and pinch yourself back to reality when we re crossing that line. Sanity should be applied in love, not insanity. Give love a try, don't rush else you ll crash! Love grows. |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 9:58pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
@2sexy. Thanks for that great piece. yea, I have admired a few ladies in the past. Many have eventually married because I didn't make a move then. @bellaDonaFema, one of the greatest challenge to loving is TIME. I am a busy person, work in a busy environment and society. Sometimes, my Saturdays are also full of activities. Only, my Sundays are relatively free. How then can I know and love a lady I only see probably once a week (except I start a relationship with someone at the office!). How can I know if a lady truly loves me under this condition? Where can I draw the line? |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 10:02pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
Start as a friend... Just friend and don't make your intentions known initially but also don't keep it as a secret for too long. Else you end in the friend zone. x-fire: |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 10:06pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
x-fire:Well, if you are allowed to date your colleague, go for it! If not, make out time (necessity is the mother of invention). How busy could you be? Even presidents find time to unwind despite their busy schedule. Now is the time to take a bold step (stop being lily-livered). You will know if she loves you! Trust me!  |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by 190: 10:11pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
what i think you need is to get laid more often  |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 10:19pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
u nor well ka ka190: what i think you need is to get laid more often |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by 190: 10:22pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
2s£xy: howfar drop me message on whatsapp baba i have an interesting proposal for ya |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 10:41pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
I don delete my whatsapp o. I go reinstall am sha by tuesday or wednesday... I dey bro... Just hoping to get out of here in a 6 months time. 190: |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by 190: 10:44pm On Aug 04, 2013 |
2s£xy: aite man |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 11:44am On Aug 25, 2013 |
Bros X-fire, please update us... Hope you do attend social function? |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 1:05pm On Aug 25, 2013 |
This life is truly a vanity! You decide to face your studies, business, career and acquire enough money for a better future, and hence establish a happy home, you still find yourself struggling to find happiness and love, sighs. You decide to chase after love, pleasure first, and even after all that, u still find yourself struggling to stand financially. See @op, you're not alone, it is now a widespread disease in Nigeria- so many single guys are fade up, majority have given up on love, that's just the sad truth. And this was as a result of some bad eggs amongst our sisters who ignorantly out of catching fun of life, betrayed, broke hearts of innocent guys, turned down guys with good mission who weren't financially buoyant and played so many guys who gave them their trust. Now the results are coming out. That's y I always tell ladies to scold and if possible fight their friends who play guys around or who feel that men are just ATMs only good for vomiting out money to meet their insatiable girlie-needs, because the action of the bad girls will definitely affect you the good ones no matter what u say or think. When a girl play Guy A., Guy A will tell his friends, Guy B and C about it, and his friends will tell their own friends, and they will start looking at every lady they come across with suspicion, and sometimes, they may pass hasty judgment on you becos of the sins of some bad girls. |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 1:07pm On Aug 25, 2013 |
@Op, the major reasons why u can't fall in love with a lady includes and not limited to: 1. You are afraid of ending up with the wrong lady, who u maybe thinking that she truly cares but unfortunately she ends up not caring about u or caring about someone else. This is the fear of so many single guys today, especially after hearing, reading and witnessing some of the evils single ladies perpetrate nowadays in the name of living their lives. 2. You are afraid that any lady you meet now will definitely accept and pretend to love you becos of whatever level of success u have achieved. This is the most terrible fear amongst today single guys who are somewhat financially buoyant. In this case, I will advice u flee from ladies from poor background, it sound ugly but that's it, and that's y most celebrities, rich guys n guys from rich families now marry celebrity ladies or ladies from rich home. 3. You are afraid of ending up with a lady that cheats! Yes, this scares every responsible and matured man. And with the way internet social network platforms, etc are portraying ladies, it is very scary to trust anyone nowadays, and its really risky too. But like others said, give it a try, life is a risk. It is easy to advice than to practice it, I know it is... In all, it baffles and annoys me a lot whenever I see ladies basing their choice of dates or partners on financial status and level of success cos I keep saying it: MONEY IS NOTHING! Anyone can acquire money, in fact, become extremely rich! Don't rate a man or a woman by his/her worth today cos tomorrow is pregnant. |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 1:08pm On Aug 25, 2013 |
Just last week, a guy from my hometown, who happened to be my age range, an engineering graduate with 2.2, called me to give me good news abt his life. This guy had been unemployed for over 2yrs and just managed to secure a teaching job in a private school where he was paid 12000 monthly. I managed to fix him up with an engineering related job so that he can get relevant engineering xprence to enrich his cv, though d job isn't that glossy, around 50k, better than his teaching job though. This job brought him to Lagos. He always shared his life ordeals with me cos we communicate a lot n he always empty his hrt with me. He told me how all his friends, course mates, and friend deserted him cos he was yet to arrive financially. I always encourage him to ignore them that it won't be long his testimony would come, as if I was a prophet. In fact, I love being close to struggling guys more than the buoyant ones for many reasons. The one that almost broke dis guy down happened last 2months. His only girlfriend, whom he thought cared, left him unannounced to marry another guy. If I narrate the story here, so many people will cry, curse, swear and even hate, so let me spare u guys d details. To cut d long story short, he called last week to tell me that he has gotten his dream job: with an oil servicing company, and his monthly salary runs in hundreds of thousands plus mouth watering allowances. The company that gave him d job was d first company he applied to for a job d very year he passed out from NYSC. Up till this moment, the guy is unable to eat, cos he has been so overjoyed, I really thank God for him. So he asked me: how can I trust or love any girl now to talk of marrying one with all my heart and trust? I only told him to relax for now, time will tell. Y did I shared this story? To enlighten single ladies reading this to pls be wise- only God decides future, stop attaching money and status to your friendship, love or whatever. Back to the topic. I read one advice sometime ago from one website owned by a foreign romance counsellor/specialist, and he claimed that's the best and easiest way for a man to regain his lost passion for love or women. And what was his advice? Become a playboy! Sounds bad to me, but most people that commented on the post said THANK YOU to him even after years of posting that article. I wish I could find the link to post it here. He said that if u start wooing any lady u admire and trying to get romantically involved with them, that it will spark up your passion, and in the process of dating numerous ladies, that u will definitely end up with one that truly loves u, and u will in turn love her. He warned that u must avoid letting ladies know that u are inexperienced with romance and love, saying that it turns most ladies off and even scare some away. @op, I will also advice u avoid dating any lady that knows your story of love becos she may pretend and come off as a God sent woman just to win your heart and change later. Goodluck. |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 1:27pm On Aug 25, 2013 |
DailyNews: He warned that u must avoid letting ladies know that u are inexperienced with romance and love, saying that it turns most ladies off and even scare some away.I said something relative to this earlier, but rather contrary. IMO, some girls will use the inexperience to outsmart the guy... And possibly cheat on him. Some will find him boring. |
| Re: Please Help! I Find It Hard To Fall In Love With A Lady by Nobody: 1:33pm On Aug 25, 2013 |
@Dailynews keep up the good work. I really enjoy your write up. I wish we could meet one day. We think alike. Bravo 1 Like |
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