ive been dating my bf for close to 2months now and im sensing some traits of a control freak. he questions every one i \m friends with and tells me who i shld see or not. i dont av a prob wt him aving female friends but he just doesnt want me to av any guy friends and he tells me its a "guy thing"
we got into a big argument lately and he said he desont like d fact that a male friend dropped me off after class one day. he was only trying to help me with transportaion home. and my bf said its becos he doenst av a car that i dont want to brek my freindship wt d guy.
ive explained to him that i'll never cheat on him but trust issues keep coming up and i dont know how much of ds i can take.
he loves me very much and he's very caring but he calls me like all the time to find out hw im doing, wants to see me everyday if he can, doesnt like almost all my frinds, even d gals. i first tot this was his way of expressiing love but now,, im feeling choked up! what do i do??

i'd run if i were you. over possessive guys like that are also known to be wife batterers. dont be surprised when it gets to that stage.

Be open and truthful to him. Prepare for the best but hope for the worst. Never say I DO very quickly to that type of man. He might nag you to death!

Remember that he's being on his best behavior because the relationship is new and he's trying to impress you.

You can't change him and it will most likely only get worse with time.

What do u expect when u date a broke ass dude. He would always be scared of loosing you because he is got no car. How do u guys go out on dates? With okada??

Two options:
First: If he has no money,tell him to take his broke a.s.s. home. In otherwords, even if he is broke,what are his prospects? if prospects are zero, then tell him what you feel and if it means letting him go so be it.

Second:You can be more dramatic and accept all his actions and hope he changes . you never know, you guys might make a good plot for a nollywood movie:THE PILLAR OF LOVE-part 1 and 2. Most important it is a good thing for one to be jealous but when one is envious then it becomes something else,

who cares if he has a car or not? You people talk as if a man with no car is worthless.

This a very important topic you started. Lives have been maimed and lost in a jealous and possesive relationship. You are equating an imbalanced behavior with love and caring. Dear don't make that mistake. The longer you remain the more difficult the separation will become. If he is constantly calling and hanging onto you the he has become dependent on you and your presence. If you decide to leave it will be an ugly departure. Relationships in which a man say to his woman "its either I'm going to have you or no one else will" started like the one you are in. He is conctantly questioning your fidelity and if he had a car he would have been stalking you around town already. Do yourself a favor, stop arousing his jealousy. Get a ride home with a female. If you must have male friends then end this relationship NOW. You are playing with something that could turn deadly in a snap of the finger.

I can't stand control freaks!

Negro_Ntns:

This a very important topic you started. Lives have been maimed and lost in a jealous and possesive relationship. You are equating an imbalanced behavior with love and caring. Dear don't make that mistake. The longer you remain the more difficult the separation will become. If he is constantly calling and hanging onto you the he has become dependent on you and your presence. If you decide to leave it will be an ugly departure. Relationships in which a man say to his woman "its either I'm going to have you or no one else will" started like the one you are in. He is conctantly questioning your fidelity and if he had a car he would have been stalking you around town already. Do yourself a favor, stop arousing his jealousy. Get a ride home with a female. If you must have male friends then end this relationship NOW. You are playing with something that could turn deadly in a snap of the finger.

Good points

Possessive BFs. , hate them, leave them like used tissue paper

4Her:

Possessive BFs. , hate them, leave them like used tissue paper

abi o . . nuthing u do is ever good enuff for them

If you love him, then stop keeping male friends; you don’t know how painful it is to see you girl in another guy’s car. Most especially if you don’t have a car of your own.

amber_ella:

who cares if he has a car or not? You people talk as if a man with no car is worthless.

tell them. afterall everone started frm not havin a car. the proble is not the car, its hes jealousy. tell him u dont like the way he is acting.
my boyfrd was like that, but i had 2 stop him. so gul if he does not change then run, with ur heels touchin ur head

crazykid:

If you love him, then stop keeping male friends; you don’t know how painful it is to see you girl in another guy’s car. Most especially if you don’t have a car of your own.

@crazy kid.
wow. inferiority complex much?

@poster
forget such guys jo. I had to deal with one recently and trust me it didn't improve. He felt being a possessive pain in the ass was a sign of lurve. right. in an alternate reality maybe. Such guys are insecure. Its not worth it.

@poster
He loves you so much that one day he'll disfigure your face so no other guy will even look at you but him.Love's a good thing,but it makes people do crazy things,especially when such a person is insecure and overly possessive.

This kind of love is stifling and can only lead to you being miserable.I see no point being in a relationship where you're not happy.

The only way out is o-u-t.

@stephany- 2 months and he already bin acting up, not a good start. been with someone like that and it was one hell of a relationship cos i had to calculate my every thot, words and action and this guy aint God! one day i got tired of calming his jealous nerves and pacifying his irrational fears and told him i was choked in the whole thing . that was it. u gotta let him know before him u had a life that was yours and his presence won't make you accept a substitute life just to please him. there's no point being with some who wont let u be urself.

@Poster!

You are walking on a dangerous path oo,if all you say is true about the guy!You better call the thing off while it is young and budding ooo.You will be surprised if you tell him you are calling it off,he doesnt begin to cry and then turn into a wild lion !Make a very fast and sharp move ooo

What i will just advise you to do is to exercise patience,talk to him about it,try and be as open-minded as possible and see if he come to trust you.
But if you see no changes,i think its worth running.
I think if he aint got money and he is acting this way,when he becomes rich,its only going to be worse.

There is another angle to it that the poster had not shared with us; A FULFILLING SEX. In almost all relationships like the one she described, the two mates become unto each other a reformer. The power of the entanglement create a sexual awakening. A powerful one that becomes very binding.

@POSTER, how is the sex? Do you find fulfillment in it?

Negro_Ntns:

There is another angle to it that the poster had not shared with us; A FULFILLING SEX. In almost all relationships like the one she described, the two mates become unto each other a reformer. The power of the entanglement create a sexual awakening. A powerful one that becomes very binding.

@POSTER, how is the sex? Do you find fulfillment in it?

Bros can you repeat that in English?

When I opened a thread to warn women against possessive men, I only got closed ears.

@ poster

na your cross, carry am!

If he's acting like that after only 2 months of dating, imagine what he will do after 1 year. Another thing is that we are only hearing your side of the and we don't know what the other side is like. Women always say " oh, he's too possesive" or "Oh, he's too jealous". And sometimes they give a guy reasons to be jealous. If your receiving calls every night from other guys, of course i will be suspicious, if your talking to a dude on the phone and suddenly hang up when i walked, you damn right i will be suspicious. I've come to realize that "if it sounds like a duck, walks like duck and looks like a duck. Then it's definitely a DUCK!". Life is too short to be playing a private investigator on your partner. If he/she start acting suspicious, sit he/her down and have a talk to mend things up. If things does not work out, Just grab your dignity and hit the road. End of tory.

Debo, you no well o  

I say sometime dis kin loff wey de titi tell us fit be de kin wey both the man and the woman soon as dem eyeball each other done begin dey rub-rub and kiss-kiss and touch-touch.  Dem two dey locked for the hip area and when dem mate e burn fire throughout their body so tay the fire kuku make life sweet.

They are tied together by the energy of the seventh center - carnal fulfillment.

Bros I need to repeat primary school oh becos I still no understand, wetin concern energy of seventh center with possessive boyfriend?

I agree Sweet T, sometimes we may not be getting the full story - some of this 'closeness' to male friends may really be interfering with the relationship, and also if she isn't very open with him, that may also create room for suspicion.

debosky:


I agree Sweet T, sometimes we may not be getting the full story - some of this 'closeness' to male friends may really be interfering with the relationship, and also if she isn't very open with him, that may also create room for suspicion.

Yes sir, women can be funny sometimes. You said your in a relationship but yet you do things that arouse suspicion. Just let me know if your tired of the relationship, Don't start playing me as a second fiddle to another dude. it's not a crime. I'll try my best to add glitters to my gold but if that is not enough, then Goodbye and Godbless !! No be long thing.

Women and their wahalas. If they can't handle men like this, they had better not date at all.

@Sweet T
But she said she has assured him that therez no reason for him to be suspicious.You either trust a person or you don't.How do you explain him not liking most of her friends?Not wanting her to have any male friends?That's insecurity.
@Negro
Why so quick to assume they already had sex?She said the relationship's 2 months old.

Well, Debo, read the context in which that center of energy was used.  I do not understand everything that people write here. I read and ask questions and learn.  There are people here who understand it. As you know we are engaged in a general discussion and not tailored to individual taste but questions will be answered when asked from individual inquisitive minds.  I want to remain focused on the discussion and not go off tangent.  Definitely, not on a discussion as this.  It impacts a lot of people and families.

LOL just yanking your chain Negro, no vex we'll return to topic now

@ Cristalz

actions speak louder than words - if she has 'reassured' him but continues to spend an undue amount of time with other guys, do you think he will be reassured? I am simply saying there may be more to this issue that she is saying. What kinds of friends does she keep? Are they decent and upstanding or the type who would be engaging in unwholesome activities? There are numerous reasons why he may be calling or asking her to break away from some of these friends. . .lets not immediately assume the guy is just a possessive idiot who wants to hog all her time

Sweet T:

Yes sir, women can be funny sometimes. You said your in a relationship but yet you do things that arouse suspicion. Just let me know if your tired of the relationship, Don't start playing me as a second fiddle to another dude. it's not a crime. I'll try my best to add glitters to my gold but if that is not enough, then Goodbye and Godbless !! No be long thing.

what d hell is suspicious in leavin ur life, there is a place for a boyfriend and another for friends, so why would d guy be interes ted in switching lanes?

my dear, do YOU always, if ur ways are suspicious to him let get help frm a shrink, for the record, no man alive (or dead )is worth half the trouble . eventually they fall in line like other exs'

av u bin sexin him?