Should I Marry An Unbeliever? - Romance - Nairaland
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| Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by glorina: 11:23pm On Jun 09, 2008 |
I have been single all my life. I've never had a love relationship because no christian brother has ever asked me out. I'm in my late 20s and there's this unbeliever, madly in love with me, who has been asking me to marry him, should i keep waiting for 'mr bornagain right' or grab this opportunity? Please help a confused sister, abeg cheers |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by beauteous(f): 11:27pm On Jun 09, 2008 |
As a bliva d bible says:"be ye not of equal yoke wit unblivas" nd forget d tot of u changin him. i ve d mentality that "u attract only your kind"if d unblivas alone come for you den sis.do sm searchins gudluck sha.tell it to God  1 Like |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by amberella: 11:27pm On Jun 09, 2008 |
Sometimes that kind of conflict can just make your dedicaion to your faith stronger. |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by Nobody: 11:28pm On Jun 09, 2008 |
glorina: You mentioned that he's in love with you. . .but do you love him? or is it just desperate times calls for desperate measures? |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by SweetT1: 11:30pm On Jun 09, 2008 |
beauteous: Even welli sef dey claim born again. what is this world coming to? |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by SourSex: 11:32pm On Jun 09, 2008 |
glorina:grab tha' d;;k and wish u soursexfull digging life |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by beauteous(f): 11:35pm On Jun 09, 2008 |
sweet,i realli want to ignore arses dis nite so repect yaself so we dnt spoil dis thread. yea im born again,nd so---?  |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by sheniqua: 11:35pm On Jun 09, 2008 |
na wa o. How come no Christian bro has asked ? Regarding your dilemma, the decision is yours but if you're a born again believer,you'll be disobeying the scriptures and you'll regret that union with an unbel. Remember the man is the head of the home what will you do when he asks you to stop fellowshipping or throws your Bibles away? How about when he asks you to get him a bottle of cold gulder or Johnie walker whisky. What if he decides to take on a second wife or consult babalawos at will? How would you feel to see your man playing draft and ludo on a Sunday morning while you head to Church? You'll probably ask Christian friends to pray for you when you should have said obeyed the Bible and not married him in the first instance. Marriage and career choices are probably the 2 most important decisions in anyone's life. If your relationship with Christ our Saviour is of any importance to you,you should know to say no to that man until he gives his life to Christ. I am speaking to you as a married woman. Love is not the only ingredient to a good marriage. Compatibility is equally high up there. |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by ty4real(m): 11:56pm On Jun 09, 2008 |
@Poster! Are you sure you are the guy is madly in love with you or hes jsut buying time to get into you cause he may have noticed the fact that you need a guy cause you are in your late twenty soooo!Just open your eyes and dont be becom a victim of break heart. |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by gabelogan(m): 12:17am On Jun 10, 2008 |
@ poster hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by krama(m): 1:44am On Jun 10, 2008 |
If you say you are a Christian, then you should know the right thing to do. If you still insist and go ahead, then that's purely at your own peril. |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by madamkoko: 5:01am On Jun 10, 2008 |
@ poster First, we are all humans. There are some so called unbelievers whose marriages have worked better than believers. If you like the guy and you sincerely know that the guy likes you too, then call things final/ or you can also try to convert the brother, ( no long thing) If u find that believers are not attracted to you then you might as well become a nun cause u'll wait for a very long time. Sometimes born agains are hypocriticaly than any thing, just check out the post of the guy who caught the PASTOR BANGING HIS GIRLFRIEND, lol. Live, Love, Learn. No one is perfect. Believer or NOT!!!!! |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by Nobody: 5:13am On Jun 10, 2008 |
madamkokolet, i thought it was live, love laugh  |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by chinesedoll(f): 12:41pm On Jun 10, 2008 |
my dear poster u better grab dis oppourtunity dem no dey sell man 4 market o if u tink u like him why not wat re u waitin 4 i blve u can change him u don dey enta 30s O!!! |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by Nobody: 12:58pm On Jun 10, 2008 |
madamkoko: Fact. |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by rotimy(m): 1:49pm On Jun 10, 2008 |
@POSTER! At times, we mistakingly call a fellow Christian an unbeliever because he is not attending a Pentecostal Church. A lady once shocked us that those in Methodists, Anglican, Baptist, Catholic, Apostolic or any mainline Church are unbelievers. So, let us know your Chirch and his Churchbefore we can conclude who an unbeliever is |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by rotimy(m): 1:53pm On Jun 10, 2008 |
@POSTER At times, we mistakingly call a fellow Christian an unbeliever because he is not attending a Pentecostal Church. A lady once shocked us that those in Methodists, Anglican, Baptist, Catholic, Apostolic or any mainline Church are unbelievers. So, let us know your Church and his Church before we can conclude who an unbeliever is. Who is this man? A christian that is not strong in faith or a pagan ? |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by Godalone(m): 1:59pm On Jun 10, 2008 |
sheniqua:You are a good adviser,and you have said it all. @poster, Do not be in a hurry to get married so that you will not regret it at the end of the day.Let me tell you something, if you are one of the sisters that do not dress very well and not socially inclined,no brother will call you for anything.Increase your social live,but do not derail along the line.If you trust your God he will never let you down. You said only unbelievers are calling you,this is serious o.My sister search your life if you have gone wrong somewhere. |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by whitelexi(m): 2:04pm On Jun 10, 2008 |
@POSTER: I once had a girlfriend who was all this crap talk and on and on and on. . . If u dont come to church with me, if u dont pray with me, if u dont stop using bad language. . . All threats, but not empty ones. When her cup filled up, i told her to go and marry her pastor! I believe in God, and although i hardly go to church - God knows we enjoy a good relationship, so why would a fellow human who even sins more than me be threatening me cos i've shown interest in her? Some of us are radical until we settle down in marriage, some of us are used to being dragged to do certain things, but pure and undiluted love will not consider religion or tribe, you need to weigh your options very closely. |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by sistajay(f): 2:38pm On Jun 10, 2008 |
Believer or non believer, just follow your heart. |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by joomiegal(f): 3:40pm On Jun 10, 2008 |
ruky_ivy:@poster & ruky-ivy 1.Kai!! i SO CANNOT believe ladies still think like this. U can change who? u can get him to be born again? na u be Holy Spirit?? chei, aanu e se mi! do you realise that even in marriages where both were unbels and one got saved, that one could spend the next 10yrs of his/her life praying 4 the partner to get saved? im not saying you shouldnt share the gospel with him and try to get him to God, but do that with a very, very clear head. afterall he can prtend to be saved just to get you. be careful!! 2.So wot if ur almost 30? should u be in a greater rush than ur maker? [b]3. Do u realise that the real deal might just be around the corner, and the devil has seen it, and maybe planted this unbel guy to sidetrack you 4 life?[/b]4. do you realise that this is one decision you cannot afford to muck up? 5. girl, always remember Jer. 29:11 : For i know the thots i think towards you, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. @ ruky-ivy, i hope ur married. if u are, case closed. if ur not, girlfriend better scrap the "i can change him" mentality, and real fast!!! forget xtainity now, even in character issues, if you cannot absolutely love a guy WITH his flaws, then just forget it. you will surely frustrate each other, and make him miserable because you will 4eva be trying to fit him into YOUR moldby nagging or woteva. evryone wants to be loved for who they are. still @ ruky_ivy just a question, im assuming ur single now, if ur dating a guy with a violent temper, the kind you know has a 99% chance of degenerating to physical abuse( assuming he never beat u sef), wuld you still marry him in the hopes of changing him, becos u don dey old? |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by amberella: 3:43pm On Jun 10, 2008 |
@joomie Your words are wise. Marrying someone with the intent of changing them is equivalent to signing up to a life of misery for both of you. |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by hixxx1(m): 3:47pm On Jun 10, 2008 |
All these 'church church', 'born again born again' wahala! Babes, why do you people have to carry this 'church church' doctrine on your heads. Pastor done marry o. All him pickin dey VGC dey chop big life. Una dey dia dey implement watin holy book talk according to the Jews and Arabs wey live way back. Anyway sha, I wan marry so like all of una, I be born again too. So poster, as a fellow born again (abi na hypocrite) my advise is DUMP HIM IF HE IS NOT A BORN AGAIN/SAINT LIKE US. Do worry, if you don't get a hubby here on earth, you will get as many hubbys as you like in heaven! But you have to die first, to get to heaven! |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by kolaoloye(m): 3:55pm On Jun 10, 2008 |
Pls don't put your hand into what you won't be able to come out of. Wait patiently, the right person is on the way. Just trust God. |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by Nobody: 4:03pm On Jun 10, 2008 |
@ Sheniqua
1. By not being a xtian he might even abandon this primitive way of thinking. Or is she desperately looking for someone to submit to? She can as well remain under her father's protection then. 2. Not believing doesn't imply hatred for any religious symbol but then the man can do it if the woman insist on breaking his back all the time all in the name of repentance. 3. You'll give him what he wants. Drinking beer and alcohol has nothing to do with being moral. It's a matter of knowing what is good for you and not. Not even practicing all the religions in this world guarantees you can always take what is good for your body. 4. I am amazed you can say something like that when the so called xtians are known for their polygamous and adulterous life! 5. Who cares? As long as he is not around doing some nasty things, I can't see where the problem is. I am very disappointed at the way you address non religious people. They might have refused religious guides but that doesn't mean they lack morals and respect for others. Just because you xtians are fond of looking down on people, don't think atheists will look at you the same way. A man can distinguish between good and bad even without being religious so don't try to put yourself on a higher pedestal just because you happen to believe. You are not better than anyone else and your creed adds in no way to the person you are. If you are wicked by nature then no religion in this world will make you good. I am even expecting someone to say "How can an unbeliever love" since you all see us as beings only capable of bad and negative thoughts. |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by icemann(m): 4:11pm On Jun 10, 2008 |
@ poster Its very simple, if he really wants u, take him 2 church and convert him. then see how long he would remain a beliver.when u KNOW he is born again(not temporary born again) ask him his major REASONS 4 comming after u. Look at it like u are winning a soul 4 christ |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by kolaoloye(m): 4:35pm On Jun 10, 2008 |
icemann: Easier said than done. It is only God than can get someone converted.Let us not deceive ourselves. We witnessed such things before,none ever worked. Let the poster be patient. |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by kufreabasi(m): 5:49pm On Jun 10, 2008 |
be very careful,there is nothing bad in converting unbeliever, consider the level of your faith. |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by 9jaboi1(m): 5:51pm On Jun 10, 2008 |
@ TOPIC r U RIGHTEOUS? |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by arianne(f): 6:20pm On Jun 10, 2008 |
@poster- first of how do come to label him unbeliever? - is becos he doesnt attend ur church - from a different religion - morally bankrupt - a professed athiest - or u just consider yourself stronger in the faith. my dear, desperation and devastation are backdoor neighbours. marriage can be good and fulfilling but there's more to life. if the ist is the case, its simple invite in over to a service in your church, he just mite stick it out if the second is the situation, personally i don't cross that boundary cos if faith can be compromised, its not faith. if the third is the case, ur a christain right? lead him to the path of salvation and move on( at least u'll ba a +ive influence in his life) if the fourth is the case, dont go there (athiest are stuck on their idiosincracy, only God can make them believe) if the fifth is, then build him up spiritually (remember u were also weak at some point) most importantly, don't see this guy has the last ticket to marital paradise, like some said he may be playin to your desperation. if u say u have feelins for him, is out of conviction or just because he says he loves u. patience no matter how pathetic is always a virtue. |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by sheniqua: 11:53pm On Jun 10, 2008 |
glorina I see you're also into on line loving. I have used dating sites several times. When some of the guys met me physically they said i looked different from the pictures(non-photoshopped) i sent them; i somehow agree because i always look different on every picture, eg it depends on whether or not i'm smiling, hairstyes(straight or long), etc. https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=137880.msg2309742#msg2309742 This kain sis sef  |
| Re: Should I Marry An Unbeliever? by Xerxes4(m): 12:00am On Jun 11, 2008 |
sheniqua: They come in all shapes n sizes these days. Should i marry a Zulu Priest? Should i show him ma thongs online? Should i shag a german shepherd? Gosh. . . . . .do the flipping thing if u feel like it and spare us these crass questions. |
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