I've noticed that I can get my point across more by giving the silent treatment than by nagging. Which do you feel is more effective?

Neither.

I dont have nag or be silent all i have to do is ask. He gives me a str8 up answer and if it is something that he needs to do he handles it. Once I give it to him i no longer worry about it because I know he will take care of it. I tell you this man has spoiled me and I love it.

silent treatment

silent treatment is very much effective. It could kill the opponent.

LOL @ Tngtech

Yes, very true indeed. I think it must be nerve wrenching for them to wonder what is going on in your mind.

tngtech:

silent treatment is very much effective. It could kill the opponent.

Give me the silent treatment and you will be disappointed. I will ask a couple of times what is wrong if you dont want to tell it then you live with it. I am not going to stress myself out about something i know nothing about. And if you want to sit around the house or whereever and give me the silent treatment then so be it, it will give me some silent time to be in my sewing studio creating or reading a book or watching a movie. When you get done acting like a 2 year old then come holla at ya girl and we will talk about it.

i can only imagine , i pray never to fall into such situation.

sistawoman:

Give me the silent treatment and you will be disappointed. I will ask a couple of times what is wrong if you don't want to tell it then you live with it. I am not going to stress myself out about something i know nothing about. And if you want to sit around the house or whereever and give me the silent treatment then so be it, it will give me some silent time to be in my sewing studio creating or reading a book or watching a movie. When you get done acting like a 2 year old then come holla at ya girl and we will talk about it.

thats because u haven't fall a victim.

Either nagging or silent treatment will simply end the relationship, if I'm involved. I don't have to take nonsense.

My ex used to try that shit.  He learned the hard way that shit dont bother me.  I have too many other things that can occupy my mind then worrying about what has your boxers all in a bunch.

Trust me I dont hold my tounge and I dont expect my partner to do it either.

Seun:

Either nagging or silent treatment will simply end the relationship, if I'm involved. I don't have to take nonsense.

I know thats right. Thats the games babies and kids play, i am a grown ass woman and i do grown ass women things.

Seun:

Either nagging or silent treatment will simply end the relationship, if I'm involved. I don't have to take nonsense.

sistawoman:

My ex used to try that shit. He learned the hard way that shit don't bother me. I have too many other things that can occupy my mind then worrying about what has your boxers all in a bunch.

Trust me I don't hold my tounge and I don't expect my partner to do it either.

thats because there is understanding and love.

i won't end the relationship over it, i'll just play him at his own game, no stress

ibkaye:

i won't end the relationship over it, i'll just play him at his own game, no stress

good thinking.

Oga . . .the SILENT TREATMENT works like a charm. just (form)ignoring her 4 some time and you WILL get excellent results._{LADIES . . .no insult meant please.}

@ Seun - It's not like it is all the time. Just sometimes when you REALLY need to make a point, and your previous attempts have fell on deaf ears.

ibkaye:

i won't end the realtionship over it, i'll just play him at his own game, no stress

but that is tit for tat and that is so high school.  Why must one try to give back to the other what they are getting in a negitive way?  Just be adults about it and talk about it.  I have an understanding with my sweetie that we will always communicate with each other and just keep it real at all times.  I told him that if he does not keep it real dont get mad at me for keeping it real and calling him on his shit, cuz a sista will call him on his shit.

So far so good, both of us speaking our minds, loving each other and respecting the other.  If i have to nagg a guy to get him to do something I would rather do it myself and if i have do everything myself then what is his purpose in this relationship?

Nautillus:

Oga . . .the SILENT TREATMENT works like a charm. just (form)ignoring her 4 some time and you WILL get excellent results._{LADIES . . .no insult meant please.}

sure not hard feelings.

sistawoman:

but that is tit for tat and that is so high school. Why must one try to give back to the other what they are getting in a negitive way? Just be adults about it and talk about it. I have an understanding with my sweetie that we will always communicate with each other and just keep it real at all times. I told him that if he does not keep it real don't get mad at me for keeping it real and calling him on his shit, because a sista will call him on his shit.

So far so good, both of us speaking our minds, loving each other and respecting the other. If i have to nagg a guy to get him to do something I would rather do it myself and if i have do everything myself then what is his purpose in this relationship?

There always come to a time when either you or your spouse will have to play dumb.

tngtech:

There always come to a time when either you or your spouse will have to play dumb.

How so? Please elaborate.

sistawoman:

but that is tit for tat and that is so high school.  Why must one try to give back to the other what they are getting in a negitive way?  Just be adults about it and talk about it.  I have an understanding with my sweetie that we will always communicate with each other and just keep it real at all times.  I told him that if he does not keep it real don't get mad at me for keeping it real and calling him on his shit, because a sista will call him on his shit.

So far so good, both of us speaking our minds, loving each other and respecting the other.  If i have to nagg a guy to get him to do something I would rather do it myself and if i have do everything myself then what is his purpose in this relationship?

sometimes pride get's in the way of mature thinking, i fall to that a lot that is a really good solution, keep it up dear

Silent treatment is the best.

The person being ignored will feel like a fool!!

@poster
silent treatment is the best
cause through that u can get the person in question coming to ask what he or she has done or ask for forgiveness so i will go for silent traetment  

well like i said before there will come a time when either parties will want to play dumb. Not everything u will want to share with your partner. Sometime he would love to be left alone.

@ Sistawoman - Your relationships seems ideal.

However, there are those that don't always communicate well - Or don't wish to communicate when they know they are wrong.

For example, my boyfriend is the MASTER at evading questions. If he does not want to talk about something, he will turn the question around so much, without giving a direct answer that i will end up being the one interrogated.

Bro, the SILENT TREATMENT work like a charm . . .just ignore everything . . . calls/ food/ regular conversation. . .even sex . . . . etc . . . .
_{ladies . . .no PUN or INSULTS meant ok. . . . .just saying it as it is}

nalijah07:

@ Sistawoman - Your relationships seems ideal.

However, there are those that don't always communicate well - Or don't wish to communicate when they know they are wrong.

For example, my boyfriend is the MASTER at evading questions. If he does not want to talk about something, he will turn the question around so much, without giving a direct answer that i will end up being the one interogated.

I used to date someone who tried that shit on me.  I used to hate that shit one of the reasons we did not last that long.

I hate, hate , hate games as much as i hate, hate, hate liers.  To make it work with me you have to be real all the time.

tngtech:

well like i said before there will come a time when either parties will want to play dumb. Not everything u will want to share with your partner. Sometime he would love to be left alone.

Needing your time alone and giving someone the silent treatment because you are trying to make them pay for something they did or did not do is totally different.  We all need our time alone.  If i get a rush job I have to be in my sewing studio working around the clock and alone time is just what i need to get the job done.  When i am PMSing i need time alone and when he is PMSing he needs time alone or with the fellas.  I dont care about that, you do you and ima do me then we will do us.

I have learned to let the small shit roll off my back, and to pick my battles.  As long as you do what you say you do then we are all good.  The only time i will get bent out of shape is if i ask you to do something you tell me you will do it and then you dont do it.

Nautillus:

Bro, the SILENT TREATMENT work like a charm . . .just ignore everything . . . calls/ food/ regular conversation. . .even sex . . . . etc . . . .
_{ladies . . .no PUN or INSULTS meant ok. . . . .just saying it as it is}

See i think that part of my problem with this type of treatment is that i know i am sexy and desired and if you want to deny me then someone else will pick up your slack.

@sistawoman

You don't expect everyone to be like you.

sistawoman:

See i think that part of my problem with this type of treatment is that i know i am sexy and desired and if you want to deny me then someone else will pick up your slack.

All the better . . .to know the depth of your woman before you make a wife out oh her. if you think that passing the COOCHIE will help your sexiness . . .be my guest.

Nautillus:

All the better . . .to know the depth of your woman before you make a wife out oh her. if you think that passing the COOCHIE will help your sexiness . . .be my guest.

are you indirectly asking sistawoman to , ?

Nautillus:

All the better . . .to know the depth of your woman before you make a wife out oh her. if you think that passing the COOCHIE will help your sexiness . . .be my guest.

I dont pass the coochie out.  I just understand that men want me and want to be where my man is.  As long as he values what he has and continues to treat me like his queen then all will be well.  I will always love him and treat him like my king.  He treats me so well that I dont even give a first look at other men.  Men stop me to talk to me but the first thing i do is throw up my hand to show my ring and keep it moving.

Cant nobody but him get this Coochie and all i have to wait is 70 hours and 30 mins.  counting down till the day i say i do to my king.