As a result of years of chronically low self-esteem & social anxiety (and probably narcissism),
I feel I'm pretty severely socially 'underdeveloped' relative to my peers. I'm not sure where it began, I remember being bullied many times in school.i have always been the shortest all through my secondary school.but experienced a sharp accelerated growth afterward . Before then, find it hard to mingle with my age mate due to height difference. I've pushed anyone who tried to get to know me personally away because of a fragile self-esteem. But I don't want to get into that too much,

My question is more what steps can I take to make myself a person that both men and women will want to be around, and that women will find attractive (from a personality pov)? What can I do to make myself an interesting person. I don't want tips on how to meet women (because I'm not ready for that), I want tips on how to become the kind of person that has a healthy, balanced life and I think women would come naturally with that
I'm quiet and young-looking, so two strikes against me already but I'm willing to improve

You can start by hanging out with extroverts. If you've no friend go to public places eg clubs, restaurants etc to chill. And be bold enough to approach a person, for example, an attractive lady and talk. You can start by telling her about your introvertedness. Personally, I'm an introvert but have no problems approaching strangers to talk, street evangelism helped me in that regard.

U seem not to even like yourself, if you don't like yourself first, nno ther person will.

look in the mirror and tell yourself, you are an awesome and wonderful person and believe it.

then make a conscious effort to make and keep conversation flowing, act confident and not weird. Smile easily , if u get nervous, its not a bad thing, work with it, tell yourself you can do this and most importantly look smart and good.
hope I helped

Free your mind and be determined to do whatever you want to do.

repogirl: U seem not to even like yourself, if you don't like yourself first, nno ther person will.

look in the mirror and tell yourself, you are an awesome and wonderful person and believe it.

then make a conscious effort to make and keep conversation flowing, act confident and not weird. Smile easily , if u get nervous, its not a bad thing, work with it, tell yourself you can do this and most importantly look smart and good.
hope I helped

op, she just nailed it....

Let's start here....I'll be your friend...

I know how you feel, I was oncce like that but I'm different now..please, appreciate yourself...


I'll be your friend

First of all change ur quack name mumuuuugu..atlist for a start

Like repo girl said, learn to love yourself. Don't try so hard to seem interesting, it will never work. People like you are the ones who attract true and real friends in life. An extrovert may have a thousand friends but no real friend but you on the other hand my just have two friends and the two would be original. Get very comfortable with yourself, start acknowledging that you are a shy quiet person and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you see someone you truly like who has similar interests like you do, trust me both of you will hit it off immediately without any awkwardness. To those who don't wanna be your friends cos they see you as boring, please don't even try to prove them wrong, just be ur self , like what you do , enjoy those quiet moments. If you are creative person engage ur mind. It's people like you that take the world by surprise while other so called extroverts are busy underestimating you

Like repo girl said, learn to love yourself. Don't try so hard to seem interesting, it will never work. People like you are the ones who attract true and real friends in life. An extrovert may have a thousand friends but no real friend but you on the other hand might just have only two friends and the two would be original. Get very comfortable with yourself, start acknowledging that you are a shy quiet person and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you see someone you truly like who has similar interests like you do, trust me both of you will hit it off immediately without any awkwardness. To those who don't wanna be your friends cos they see you as boring, please don't even try to prove them wrong, just be ur self , like what you do , enjoy those quiet moments. If you are a creative person, engage ur mind. It's people like you that take the world by surprise while other so called extroverts are busy underestimating you

bros u gat first like urself..

then dont care abt wat pple say abt u cos dai wil always talk...

dont stay around pple dat dont believe in u..

for friends dai everywhere 2go,fb, nairaland et al....

u gat to take charge of ur life cos no one will do dat for u..

i will u luck..

i believe in u bro....

u need a friend u can always PM m..

OP, Just find your selling point and flaunt it.

My guy start mixin up wit pipo,both male n female. I used to b lyk dat too, n i can tel it is really painful.

Go to Allen Avenue and hook up with some strippers. U can also hook up with Shaki,omo Iya Ondo,that sells skunk and be friends with him and his crew. Start from there first..K?

learn to drop a compliment esp when its needed, you can easily start a friend winning conversation with that

but dnt compliment guys too much sha before they beat you up

Uyi Iredia: You can start by hanging out with extroverts. If you've no friend go to public places eg clubs, restaurants etc to chill. And be bold enough to approach a person, for example, an attractive lady and talk. You can start by telling her about your introvertedness. Personally, I'm an introvert but have no problems approaching strangers to talk, street evangelism helped me in that regard.

thanks sir, i think i will go with your street evangelism. That should be a starting point

repogirl: U seem not to even like yourself, if you don't like yourself first, nno ther person will.

look in the mirror and tell yourself, you are an awesome and wonderful person and believe it.

then make a conscious effort to make and keep conversation flowing, act confident and not weird. Smile easily , if u get nervous, its not a bad thing, work with it, tell yourself you can do this and most importantly look smart and good.
hope I helped

thanks ma

duffie: Let's start here....I'll be your friend...

I know how you feel, I was oncce like that but I'm different now..please, appreciate yourself...


I'll be your friend

Am in same shoes as Op,will like to be yur friend too..283c6f4e...pls add me up..

lawizle:

Am in same shoes as Op,will like to be yur friend too..283c6f4e...pls add me up..

desperate much?

lawizle:

Am in same shoes as Op,will like to be yur friend too..283c6f4e...pls add me up..

in other words op if u r nt usin a blackberry, no deal

lawizle:

Am in same shoes as Op,will like to be yur friend too..283c6f4e...pls add me up..

sharp guy

Hi mumumugu, I'm sorry you were bullied .
I want to be your friend too.

24yrs??i don't blieve ur story

My 2 cents: bliv in ur self,remember dat no matter ur condition in life,u ar a human being jxt lyk others,and inferior to no1,try to focus ur mind on sumfin else,whenever u start filin self conscious,maintain a gud amount of eye contact(NEVER luk dwn whn u break an eye contact,luk sideways instead),good postures,always walk FAST (sounds silly,bt it works),intentionaly increase d speed of yur pace,dz make u luk purposeful and important,B generous wit ur smiles.
Try ol dz often,& u wount b nervous to socialise with the Ini Edos,and Rihannas of dz world .

develop genuine interest in people..
Find wat u love doin and do it (will build ur confidence). .
Dude chillax! don't take urself too seriously and Don't think too much abt urself, instead focus ur attention on the other person...
read 'the Five things you must discover before you die' by John Izzo (awesome book! Changed my life. A must read),
Listen to Baz Lurhmann's sunscreen song.
Hope dis helps

@Poster. *breathing out** first thing i will say to you is that i like your courage for posting this online. Even though you are anonimous. But i will like to let u know that i dont think posting it here wud solve your problems. Belive me i dont really think you should fight against been an introvert. Before u criticise me this are my reasons. ------ I am also an introvert, a bloody one if i must say, though am way way younger than you, but i still think i can share my experience with you. Long story short. I tried fighting against been an introvert once but it didnt pay off. I met with a Guardian counsellor recommended to me by a medical doctor, and for the first time i got to expose my innermost pain and secrets to someone, i felt okay she did adviced me on what to do. After somedays of carefull thought i then decided to let go my introvertedness becoming an extrovert. Things went bad the first person i talked too was a female she gave me the insult of my life. **Note i wasnt trying to date her, no far from that. She was only a mate i teach her most times in college and write her assignments for her. So i felt it will be better and easy to bcom frnds. After that day i ran and never tried even been an ectrovert. I hated many pple around me bcuz i found out that many pple in the uni only come and talk to me wen dia is a test or to rite their assignments. (*geeky type). See i did all wat u cud tink off i even went to my first and only party bcuz i wanted to frnds, but all never worked. Since then i decided neva to fight been an introvert. I know its not easy but just dont fight it. I deleted my Fb acc, and so many acc bcuz of what i passed thru. But i wont fight it. I even went to the extent of trying to have a female frnd of recent buying all she wants, so that i just have a frnd but it didnt work. As i rite this i only have 12contacts on my fone. Infact let me just end this. Poster dont try fighting this cuz a lot of pple will still not like u at end.

Jst be yourself. Identify your potential and maximise it,people destined to come your way will naturally stick with u.
Sometimes people walk up to me when i sit alone and i keep wondering how people admire solitude,whereas am irritated by their intrusion.
But i can be all out when i want to be.

Just gather vast knowlege,it helps alot,especially for introverts,people will come to you if you are a fountain of knowledge.

Ymodulus: @Poster. *breathing out** first thing i will say to you is that i like your courage for posting this online. Even though you are anonimous. But i will like to let u know that i dont think posting it here wud solve your problems. Belive me i dont really think you should fight against been an introvert. Before u criticise me this are my reasons. ------ I am also an introvert, a bloody one if i must say, though am way way younger than you, but i still think i can share my experience with you. Long story short. I tried fighting against been an introvert once but it didnt pay off. I met with a Guardian counsellor recommended to me by a medical doctor, and for the first time i got to expose my innermost pain and secrets to someone, i felt okay she did adviced me on what to do. After somedays of carefull thought i then decided to let go my introvertedness becoming an extrovert. Things went bad the first person i talked too was a female she gave me the insult of my life. **Note i wasnt trying to date her, no far from that. She was only a mate i teach her most times in college and write her assignments for her. So i felt it will be better and easy to bcom frnds. After that day i ran and never tried even been an ectrovert. I hated many pple around me bcuz i found out that many pple in the uni only come and talk to me wen dia is a test or to rite their assignments. (*geeky type). See i did all wat u cud tink off i even went to my first and only party bcuz i wanted to frnds, but all never worked. Since then i decided neva to fight been an introvert. I know its not easy but just dont fight it. I deleted my Fb acc, and so many acc bcuz of what i passed thru. But i wont fight it. I even went to the extent of trying to have a female frnd of recent buying all she wants, so that i just have a frnd but it didnt work. As i rite this i only have 12contacts on my fone. Infact let me just end this. Poster dont try fighting this cuz a lot of pple will still not like u at end.

bros...u still need help. 12 contact?
Are your family members included here, sch mates,play mates,neighbours?

Op.... I was once an introvert too,even i didn't have any friend through out my primary and secondary sch... But you knw what,i learned to tacle it... Wah i used to do these days really work for me,maybe u should try it..


1. Start with your family... I know you're shy,try to sit your siblings,cousins,dad,or mum down,start up a topic and discuss with them,joke around,laugh,talk,feel free to chart with them...... It might sound silly buh try it..... It may let u knw hw to relate with people

2. People closer to your family... Start meeting people maybe in your area or sch or start with your sibling's friend (am nt saying u shld be friend dm buh try to chart em up like greeting them,asking about their welfare,sch affairs,current musics,styles in town etc..

3. Start meeting people..... Join people's conversation (nt all sha)... Maybe you're in a bus n pple r joking,feel free to join. Start Chart pple close to u up i.e ur course mate,roommate,work associate,neighbours etc on topics you knw about,anythin that would make sense n interesting.

With time things would change

Yes.

chidyhels:
bros...u still need help. 12 contact?
Are your family members included here, sch mates,play mates,neighbours?

Harbosede02: 24yrs??i don't blieve ur story

what is difficult to believe in d post,dt 24yrs old has no friends? ok o here is 29yrs old,no friends too(m/f).The reasons r not far-fetched,among them r fragile self esteem,fear of being rejected, inability to start friendly convo both online n personal,holding in high esteem d belief dt u av 2 look 4 money first,then other things follow, etc.so what can u say 2 my case,impossibility again?

Ymodulus: I am also an introvert, a bloody one if i must say, though am way way younger than you, but i still think i can share my experience with you. Long story short. I tried fighting against been an introvert once but it didnt pay off. I met with a Guardian counsellor recommended to me by a medical doctor, and for the first time i got to expose my innermost pain and secrets to someone, i felt okay she did adviced me on what to do. After somedays of carefull thought i then decided to let go my introvertedness becoming an extrovert. Things went bad the first person i talked too was a female she gave me the insult of my life. **Note i wasnt trying to date her, no far from that. She was only a mate i teach her most times in college and write her assignments for her. So i felt it will be better and easy to bcom frnds. After that day i ran and never tried even been an ectrovert. I hated many pple around me bcuz i found out that many pple in the uni only come and talk to me wen dia is a test or to rite their assignments. (*geeky type). See i did all wat u cud tink off i even went to my first and only party bcuz i wanted to frnds, but all never worked. Since then i decided neva to fight been an introvert. I know its not easy but just dont fight it. I deleted my Fb acc, and so many acc bcuz of what i passed thru. But i wont fight it. I even went to the extent of trying to have a female frnd of recent buying all she wants, so that i just have a frnd but it didnt work. As i rite this i only have 12contacts on my fone.

. Bro,pls clean that thing wey dey ur mouth

eni orisha:
ok o here is 29yrs old,no friends too(m/f).The reasons i belief dt u av 2 look 4 money first,then other things follow, etc.so what can u say 2 my case,impossibility again?

bro,u need to get a life o. Smh