I opened naira land cos of this issue cos I want to hear peoples opinion though I have been following since 06.

I have been dating this guy for 3 yrs and whenever he hurt me for instance an issue or argument, I ll not be myself again. I can't eat or smile anymore. I won't think of any other tin aside d issue at hand. It has been going on for 3 yrs dunno if this is normal.

Hello? Where is your brain at?
Why do many Nigerian ladies love sticking to an abusive relationship?
Babes, all you gotta do is simple.
If your relationship does not guarantee you happiness, if you are not as simpatico as you wanted with your boyfriend, if you are fed up of being the hurt partner, if your relationship suffers you.
Just one, but one thing is needed.








It is







race! Just run for your life. Dump him swiftly!
That's my advice from a Nland advisor!
Nice days ahead::;

Itz normal,bt u wen tink abt it too much then itz sumfin else...stp givin d guy d impression dat ur lyf is ova wifout im.

@ Maxwell its not abusive just that any small thing he does to offend me hurts me badly.

Harbosede02: Itz normal,bt u wen tink abt it too much then itz sumfin else...stp givin d guy d impression dat ur lyf is ova wifout im.

Thanks dear.

You are seeing em as the best thing that has happened tu u, aldou its a good feeling buh it leaves u feeling hurt over lil issues.

frannyema: @ Maxwell its not abusive just that any small thing he does to offend me hurts me badly.

you're an emotional woman

nekaa: You are seeing em as the best thing that has happened tu u, aldou its a good feeling buh it leaves u feeling hurt over lil issues.

Exactly. Now I see. Its more like my world revolves around him.

It's only but human to feel hurt when someone we love offend us.I'll advise u to channel your energy towards things that will take your mind off it....go out,hang out wit friends,watch movies etc.Hope he doesn't knw u feel this way anytime he hurts u.If he does,then you will have to let him see u as someone not vulnerable at any slightest provocation or else he will continue to take u for granted.cheers!

Sounds like my gf, she was easily irritated over any misunderstood words or action , then I sat her down and we did some frank talk.
I played the scapegoat putting the blame on myself, she was forced to be defending me while i prosecuted myself. During the talk, We found out that she had expectations of me when she met me (job security/financial issues) which has not been actualised fully and according to her it seems I am not even seriously working towards it. (She prefered govt job (small pay with job security) while I prefer company job (big pay but no job security).
According to her I had most things she wanted in a man (except the above) and somehow scared that she might not see another like me (not that I'm perfect but i have a good combinations of good and bad qualities) but everything I did irritates her because she thought I was not doing what I am suppose to be doing (kinda misplaced priorities) .
So even if I overboiled the hot water, it irritates her cos I might be sack the next day and no hot water for both of us.
So dear, It might be that ur expectations of him clashes with the reality, if that is the case discuss with him how u want ur bf to be and try to see from his perspective why he is doing all he his doing now.

C'est moi:
It's only but human to feel hurt when someone we love offend us.I'll advise u to channel your energy towards things that will take your mind off it....go out,hang out wit friends,watch movies etc.Hope he doesn't knw u feel this way anytime he hurts u.If he does,then you will have to let him see u as someone not vulnerable at any slightest provocation or else he will continue to take u for granted.cheers!

Ok thanks. He doesn't kno I feel that way

@ ITbomb I don't have any expectations from him. Everything s Ok by me just that I don't feel its normal for me to be hurt like that.

frannyema: @ ITbomb I don't have any expectations from him. Everything s Ok by me just that I don't feel its normal for me to be hurt like that.

Have you check the spiritual aspect of it.
May your former bf did say something serious or family issues
Dont get angry with me but check on how ur family members are going on with their relationship.

ITbomb:
Have you check the spiritual aspect of it.
May your former bf did say something serious or family issues
Dont get angry with me but check on how ur family members are going on with their relationship.

Do u mean d way my siblings are going on in their relationship can define mine

frannyema:
Do u mean d way my siblings are going on in their relationship can define mine

Capital NO
But just random troubleshooting (some BS sha like nigerian home movies would have it -No girl in your family will have peace in her relationship or marriage- blah blah).

An emotional person always has higher sensitivity & feels things more deeply than one who is not more emotional. living with this can be hard cos you try to change the way you feel but cant. I can feel you are sensitive girl but dnt worry you are not alone. We are out there

oyinbogirl: An emotional person always has higher sensitivity & feels things more deeply than one who is not more emotional. living with this can be hard cos you try to change the way you feel but cant. I can feel you are sensitive girl but dnt worry you are not alone. We are out there

Thanks I appreciate.

Well, u need to check ur attitude and d way u relate with people...i guess u easily get hurt when people say wat u dnt like n its not with ur bf alone....pls dnt let what people say or do get 2 u too much....stop reading deep meanings to things cos even ur health is very important here....nothing has an effect on u until u give it an attitude....so its either u react or let it slide....

Maybe you care for him too much cos it happens, wen you love pple too much the little things they do or didn't do will hurt you. As in he might not even be aware of it

This is what happens when we make a mare human a source of joy.U need to make God yr best friend,that way u wont hurt to that extend.

OP, you lack a sense of humour that's why. Get a sense of humour. You'd hurt way way less.

fresh_dude: OP, you lack a sense of humour that's why. Get a sense of humour. You'd hurt way way less.

How do I do that.
@excel He is my bf so wat else

@holly u are right

ITbomb: Sounds like my gf, she was easily irritated over any misunderstood words or action , then I sat her down and we did some frank talk.
I played the scapegoat putting the blame on myself, she was forced to be defending me while i prosecuted myself. During the talk, We found out that she had expectations of me when she met me (job security/financial issues) which has not been actualised fully and according to her it seems I am not even seriously working towards it. (She prefered govt job (small pay with job security) while I prefer company job (big pay but no job security).
According to her I had most things she wanted in a man (except the above) and somehow scared that she might not see another like me (not that I'm perfect but i have a good combinations of good and bad qualities) but everything I did irritates her because she thought I was not doing what I am suppose to be doing (kinda misplaced priorities) .
So even if I overboiled the hot water, it irritates her cos I might be sack the next day and no hot water for both of us.
So dear, It might be that ur expectations of him clashes with the reality, if that is the case discuss with him how u want ur bf to be and try to see from his perspective why he is doing all he his doing now.

Make una no vex, but this up there, should be at the Diary section; b'cos I want to here more of the ITBOMB I'm hearing now.

Okk, u guys can continue with the advice.

The date for deliverance services are as follows:

Monday: 5pm

Wednesday: 6pm

Your life will never be thesame..

frannyema: I opened naira land cos of this issue cos I want to hear peoples opinion though I have been following since 06.

I have been dating this guy for 3 yrs and whenever he hurt me for instance an issue or argument, I ll not be myself again. I can't eat or smile anymore. I won't think of any other tin aside d issue at hand. It has been going on for 3 yrs dunno if this is normal.

It is normal. I think it is because of your love for him. But it isn't good. It smacks of emotional weakness. Offence is inevitable in human relationships because no one is perfect. At some point, despite or because of your efforts, you'll offend your partner. Apologize and shrug it off and use wisdom. God bless !

Uyi Iredia:

It is normal. I think it is because of your love for him. But it isn't good. It smacks of emotional weakness. Offence is inevitable in human relationships because no one is perfect. At some point, despite or because of your efforts, you'll offend your partner. Apologize and shrug it off and use wisdom. God bless !

Thanks a lot.

frannyema:
How do I do that.
@excel He is my bf so wat else

@holly u are right

I'm not sure but you could start by seeing the fun side of things, be patient with paeople and make (reasonable) excuses for them when they make mistakes, etc.

Mazi_Omenuko:

Make una no vex, but this up there, should be at the Diary section; b'cos I want to here more of the ITBOMB I'm hearing now.

Okk, u guys can continue with the advice.

U don dey find person wey u wan push to the slaughter slab . Your plan no go work

Lyk someone rightly said. U lack a sense of humour, stop taking yourself so seriously, u re not d queen

On a practical note, u didn't toughen up wen u were growing so in order to harden up, strt by feeding him with his own spoon.. If he calls U an idiat, call him Ewu Gambia, if he forgets to Call u, pretend u didn't notice n don't. Call him n begin asking wats wrong? While doing this try not to think of watever he must have done to u(Yes u can control wat u think of) use all d will power u possess to not think of watever thing u think he has done to you. Do this for 3 months u'll b surprised at d kind of thick skin u've grown For BS... Cos if u carry dis ur kain heart enter marrg, babe na die b dat oo

You're waaayyyyyyy too emotional.
You need to start getting rational.
Ask yourself this question: "Don't you hurt him too"?

Also, stop reading excessive meanings into all his words and actions. Sometimes, you just have to give his actions a surface meaning. Don't exaggerate what is not there! Make excuses for him sometimes!

The truth is it's energy-draining to deal with emotional people. He most likely is tired of dt xter in you too.