Just wanted to start all funny update either on bbm, facebook as I felt nairalnders deserve to smile whenever they click and this topics.
And most importantly celebrate a good days ahead just for fun......derailers you welcome (take front seat) it gonna be bumper to bumper and top jokers should add those funny update too . It just got to be awesome here .........pls always click on those LIKE buttons whenever I got you smiling,giggling,laughing..........
And other feel free to update una update ........
Let's go there ...............
Laugh until you pass away.......
Laugh until you poo away.....but as u don laugh finish come back to life like new serviced tokunbo generator to drop ur tithes(comment).......chairs!! Cheers!! Share!!!

Who said English is simple
Read sister Nkechi's testimony! "praise the
rord.Hmmm its not a small something.well,actually
it all started a two day ago,which i'm in my
house.so a small hungry is catching me,so i look in
d house,nothing much 2 chop only small plantain which i' ave not fried before...so, i tell myself to fry
it and chop,as i'm fry dat plantain,so phone
ringing,so as i look,its a faring place,so i now
run,which i reach there,its my father which call,so i
now say ,father call after,plantain frying.I keep it.so
now i now turn arround,as i turn round,all of a suddenly everywhere in my house have turn to
smoke.Children of God as i'm approaching,smoke is
bigging,smoke is jst bigging and biginning.it's a
fearing thing o!if it's you self,afraid will catch
you.so i now cal the name of jesus three times.i
shout jesus jesus jesus!all of a miraculously,smoke start to be vanishing,to where?i no know its a
miracle something o!!!smoke start to dissapering
small small,small.then my plantain have burn to
matches.Hallelujah....praise the lort somebodies.But
my main testimony today be say,i chop that
charcoal and nothing is happen to me.praise the rord".Hahahaha.

Yoruba mums produce the best range of slaps: Igbati,
Ifoti, Igbaju, Igbarun, Iforun, Ifakun , Ibadi,Abara. These
slaps will make you think you were adopted. Igbati will
make you correct your wrong lesekese! The beauty of
Ifoti is you will confess your sins on the spot. igbarun, will let u forget ur name
Igbaju and Iforun will make you snitch on all those who
committed the crime with you without hesitation.
Abara and Iladi will make you pee in your newpants!
Now Abara is the worst.. This will make you do all of the
above at once! God bless our parents for the good
upbringing! Which one is yr, dad, mum and step-mum favorite?

Guys if you wanna ask a girl out, go straight to the point. What
is how is mummy and daddy? E concern you

E saw her picture on Fb and said 'she smells' nice' ...I didn't
know dat dey cud smell ppl thru their pics oooo,mtcheeeew
bush guy

U Frustrate Ur Amazing & Faithful Bf and ur mentality is : if
he's d right 0ne he won't leave
WeLL!! I pray u don't die single

We live in a country where losing your phone is more dramatic
than losing your virginity.

fflamingo: Who said English is simple
Read sister Nkechi's testimony! "praise the
rord.Hmmm its not a small something.well,actually
it all started a two day ago,which i'm in my
house.so a small hungry is catching me,so i look in
d house,nothing much 2 chop only small plantain which i' ave not fried before...so, i tell myself to fry
it and chop,as i'm fry dat plantain,so phone
ringing,so as i look,its a faring place,so i now
run,which i reach there,its my father which call,so i
now say ,father call after,plantain frying.I keep it.so
now i now turn arround,as i turn round,all of a suddenly everywhere in my house have turn to
smoke.Children of God as i'm approaching,smoke is
bigging,smoke is jst bigging and biginning.it's a
fearing thing o!if it's you self,afraid will catch
you.so i now cal the name of jesus three times.i
shout jesus jesus jesus!all of a miraculously,smoke start to be vanishing,to where?i no know its a
miracle something o!!!smoke start to dissapering
small small,small.then my plantain have burn to
matches.Hallelujah....praise the lort somebodies.But
my main testimony today be say,i chop that
charcoal and nothing is happen to me.praise the rord".Hahahaha.

Every girl deserves a guy who takes her out on a date, and not
touch her anywhere but her heart.

"I need to talk to you" is one sentence that has the power to
make you remember every bad thing you've ever done in your
life.

fflamingo: Who said English is simple
Read sister Nkechi's testimony! "praise the
rord.Hmmm its not a small something.well,actually
it all started a two day ago,which i'm in my
house.so a small hungry is catching me,so i look in
d house,nothing much 2 chop only small plantain which i' ave not fried before...so, i tell myself to fry
it and chop,as i'm fry dat plantain,so phone
ringing,so as i look,its a faring place,so i now
run,which i reach there,its my father which call,so i
now say ,father call after,plantain frying.I keep it.so
now i now turn arround,as i turn round,all of a suddenly everywhere in my house have turn to
smoke.Children of God as i'm approaching,smoke is
bigging,smoke is jst bigging and biginning.it's a
fearing thing o!if it's you self,afraid will catch
you.so i now cal the name of jesus three times.i
shout jesus jesus jesus!all of a miraculously,smoke start to be vanishing,to where?i no know its a
miracle something o!!!smoke start to dissapering
small small,small.then my plantain have burn to
matches.Hallelujah....praise the lort somebodies.But
my main testimony today be say,i chop that
charcoal and nothing is happen to me.praise the rord".Hahahaha.

lwkmd

Ladies don't dress 2 impress men. They dress 2 "Out-dress"
other ladies. If they were trying 2 impress men they'd just run
around naked

OLD ENGLISH: I haveth thou nothing to say as
I faileth to be Intrigued or astonished by thy
conversation...
NEW ENGLISH: K

All dese facebook chicks be updating 'wanna go ave my bath'...
wat du yu want us 2du? inbox u sum soap?

Why Won't Some Girls Have Spiritual Boo When they Sleep
Naked? So You Think Those Evil Spirits Don't Like Girls Too
Abi?

Don't sleep with her if you know you won't marry her. What is
the essence of jss1 -sss3 if you know you won't do WAEC?

I had a crush on her until I met her at the canteen trying to order
for the 11th wrap of fufu ( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡)

If not for anything, abeg still Thank God say Mosquito no dey
fit transmit HIV. E for Bloody sha.......
How africa go be one mosquito bit na die

Kill an American citizen and 1 million policemen will b
deployed to search 4 u but kill 1 million Nigerians U will be
invited for amnesty

Every girl has a price. For some its diamond rings, some its
fried rice & for some its just a bottle of La Casera

You giv am erection, u kor carry am enter room, he don off
shirt, then u shout April Fool... My sister, he will RAPE ur
Destiny!!

If china fone alarm no fit wake you up,ur matter don go beyond
physical.

A lawyer hopes you get into trouble,A doctor hopes you fall
ill.An undertaker hopes you fall dead,only a thief wishes you
well. #IronyOfLife

fflamingo: Kill an American citizen and 1 million policemen will b
deployed to search 4 u but kill 1 million Nigerians U will be
invited for amnesty

hahaha. Thats niga 4 you o,a boy from benin snuck an entered the tire of a plane to lagos and benin government gave him a scholarshp. For what now?instead of punishmnt. I read this and i was like 'na im dem knw tel us since make all of us go hide enter plane tire'

Don't be suprised when you see boys Praying for a club they
hate so much to win. NAIRA BET is involved.

You know you are hopeless when you ask a blind girl out, and
she replies "No, I'm seeing someone else.

Funny Status updates on FB, Twitter and BBM during the times of Moses, Noah, Adam and Abraham:

1. Guys its scary, Lot's wife just
turned
into a pillar of salt
#shaking#

2. Pimping my camel, Jerusalem
here i
come..

3.Chilling with Moses on Mt Sinai
miracle things..

More Funny jokes>>>http://www.rosyside.com/pt/Funniest-Akpors-Jokes-Collection-10.11.2013/discussion.htm

Some too na BB some na Brazilian hair

MONEY HAS A LOT OF NAMES!!!
In church we call it (Offering)
In a wedding we call it (Bride price)
When you owe someone (Loan)
When we pay the government (Tax)
In court (Maintenance)
Government to old age people (Pension)
Boss to workers (Salary)
And when a Boyfriend gives to his Girlfriend money, what do
you call it??

How to Cross the Road In Nigeria:
Look right and left for cars & bike,
Look up for aeroplane ,
Look down for bomb,
Look back for kidnappers,
hold ur bag tight
And watch d person bside u.
Den walk zigzag 2 avoid stray bullet.
No Be so?

A mother spends about 20 years training her son.. And a girl
makes him a fool in 20 minutes.. Pathetic.

At the age of 25,you cannot cook,sweep,wash clothes and you
want men to love you for who you are.. SISTER,pls who are
you ?