Women: A Question About Polygamy And Fidelity. - Romance - Nairaland
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| Women: A Question About Polygamy And Fidelity. by Nobody: 11:04pm On Oct 15, 2013 |
I have not been too active in this section for a while, but a real life situation prompted this thread. I need honest answers. Naija women, which of the following shoes would you rather 'wear': 1. You are the ONLY wife and would forever be the ONLY wife to a wealthy man who treats you right, but (inevitably) has a couple of mistresses and girlfriends outside to trifle with. . . none of whom he ever brings to the matrimonial home, by the way. 2. You are one of the WIVES of a rich man who happens to be FAITHFUL to his THREE wives, but treats his most beloved wife (who isn't you) better than the other(s)? Not to mention the endless attrition and rivalry between you and the other wives and the children? The main issue can be reduced to this question: Which is preferable - A 'philandering' monogamist husband, or a 'faithful' polygamist husband? Honest answers,. |
| Re: Women: A Question About Polygamy And Fidelity. by UyiIredia(m): 11:30pm On Oct 15, 2013 |
IMO the biased, faithful polygamist is preferable to the pretender monogamist who engages in a clear 'sexual polygamy'. I suspect most ladies would pick the first. I would be happy to be shown wrong. |
| Re: Women: A Question About Polygamy And Fidelity. by Temmy4real1(f): 11:39pm On Oct 15, 2013 |
I will rather go 4 d first 'cos i bliv he might b touched by God nd will continue praying 4 him instead of being a polygamist. |
| Re: Women: A Question About Polygamy And Fidelity. by 190theclown: 11:45pm On Oct 15, 2013 |
Nija Nairaland women/girls be like "Tufiakwa its not my portion" In Jesus/Allah Name not knowing that on their boyfriend's list them be 11th on pole position to wife stage  |
| Re: Women: A Question About Polygamy And Fidelity. by oliviatwist: 5:42am On Oct 16, 2013 |
190-the-clown:What is dis one saying seff? They are being specific about examples here and you are bringing the nija nairaland women thingy. I'll go for the first cos there is nothing like being number 1, and the first gives me that. What's more? He doesn't flaunt it in my face and i and my children won't hav to go thru the war involved in polygamy. |
| Re: Women: A Question About Polygamy And Fidelity. by Nobody: 6:38am On Oct 16, 2013 |
@op: I want your honest answer cos whatever you choose will also be my answer. A 'coquettish/slutty' monogamist wife or a 'faithful' polygamist?? |
| Re: Women: A Question About Polygamy And Fidelity. by catholy: 6:40am On Oct 16, 2013 |
@ op what makes a polygamist husband faithful. because he is free to add more wives to the ones he have so tell me hw he gets to marry them if nt by cheatin and @ d long run he brings them home as wives. My dear i prefer to be my husband's only wife cos i knw sometin wil make him change someday. 1 Like |
| Re: Women: A Question About Polygamy And Fidelity. by damola1: 11:24am On Oct 16, 2013 |
Yesterday, I was still in a discussion, where I stated facts that Islam is more realistic than xtianity, among many others things, polygamy being one of the reasons. By Nature, an average man, would want to have not only multiple sexual partners, but sexual activities at least 2-3x daily if he had the opportunity, however, a woman on the other hand, averagely, maybe just: 2-3 x weekly.. most likely not daily... Not all women, but an average woman. I think the best option is Polygamy, but the caveat in islam is to love all equally, and for the facts I am currently a christian not a muslim. 1 Like |
| Re: Women: A Question About Polygamy And Fidelity. by Nobody: 11:37am On Oct 16, 2013 |
Wu Zetian: @op: I want your honest answer cos whatever you choose will also be my answer. Hypothetically, a faithful polyandrous wife would be preferable. Thankfully, I have never seen or heard of any polyandrous woman in this part of the world. |
| Re: Women: A Question About Polygamy And Fidelity. by UyiIredia(m): 12:24pm On Oct 16, 2013 |
pro01: Very well said. |
| Re: Women: A Question About Polygamy And Fidelity. by Monicasque(f): 12:36pm On Oct 16, 2013 |
m so selfish i would rather have u lie to me. i would chose the first |
| Re: Women: A Question About Polygamy And Fidelity. by 190theclown: 3:10pm On Oct 16, 2013 |
oliviatwist: Abeg follow this guy  |
| Re: Women: A Question About Polygamy And Fidelity. by Nobody: 6:50pm On Oct 16, 2013 |
damola1: Yesterday, I was still in a discussion, where I stated facts that Islam is more realistic than xtianity, among many others things, polygamy being one of the reasons. Where did you get your facts from or you're just talking rubbish?? What is the explanation for the supposed difference in sexual 'activities' between both genders?? 1 Like |
| Re: Women: A Question About Polygamy And Fidelity. by damola1: 1:58am On Oct 17, 2013 |
Wu Zetian: In my Opinion. |
| Re: Women: A Question About Polygamy And Fidelity. by Tyche(m): 1:56pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
damola1: Bro, I stay around the north and have many Muslim friends. Polygamy have never really solved the problem of philandering among married muslim men. Whatever elusive reason that lead them to marry the second wife still keeps them in the hunt for external punany. Many even after marrying the requisite 4 wives still divorce and continues marrying. To the matter at hand, I comment my reserve  . I have to admit though that the options are very difficult to choose from.Happiness sometimes comes from knowing less. 1 Like |
| Re: Women: A Question About Polygamy And Fidelity. by Nobody: 2:00pm On Oct 19, 2013 |
@ pro01 It's very important to note that what a woman says she will do and what she will actually do vary very greatly. I understand where you are coming from (the questions), but its actually important to first realize that humans (both male and female) are not even designed for monogamy. We are not monogamous by nature. The male reproductive organ packs excessive firepower and the human female, on the other hand, has an almost 'unlimited' capacity for intercourse (no be this 1.5 seconds I dey last ) - and her organ is designed for sperm competition.I used to subscribe to the accepted (evolutionary) theory that men's inclination is to sow their wild oats and that of chics is to find ONE high-value dude. All that na wash! But from real life, you will quickly notice that something just doesn't add up. Chics are actually on a Bangalore themselves. You'll notice that chics drop punny like water; once there is no consequence to their reputation. Fidelity and Marriage are purely 'modern' constructs. It strongly appears that we actually evolved for multimale-multifemale mating - as in free-for-all tidying. Chimps and Bonobos are our closest cousins on the evolutionary tree. Their séxuality and attitude towards fidelity throws a clear light on how our NATURAL sexuál disposition really is. Recently read Sex At Dawn: The Prehistoric Origin of Modern Sexuality - was quite an eye-opener. You could check it out, great read. |
| Re: Women: A Question About Polygamy And Fidelity. by Nobody: 5:05pm On Oct 19, 2013 |
@ Oga Richfella Very insightful take on the matter, as usual. Although monogamy is somewhat incompatible with human nature (from an evolutionary perspective) as you argue, I reckon most women would still prefer 'superficial' monogamy. . . .the external.appearances of being the "only" wife holds considerable appeal for many of them. I guess that explains why they would prefer to be the only wife of a philandering husband rather than one of the many wives of a faithful one. Meanwhile, I just googled Sex at Dawn, and the summary is quite interesting. I'll have to get it ASAP. . . .its main argument is consistent with what I have long believed. . . . . |
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