Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and Akpors, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree...........the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where st. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. "Gentlemen" the devil started, "due to the fact that heaven is now overcrowded, therefore st. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering heaven. If anyone can ask me a question which I dont know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven , if not, then you ll come with me to hell. The philosopher then stepped up , "ok, give me the most comprehensive reports on Socrates 19 teachings." wit a snap of finger, a stack of paper appear next to the devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to HELL". The Mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicated formulae you can ever think of! With a snap of a finger a stack of paper appeared next to the devil. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was really complicated. "Then, go to HELL" . The mathematician disappeared. Akpors then stepped up and said, "brind me a chair!" devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on it" devil did just that. Akpors then sat on it and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, "which hole did my fart come out from? The devil inspected the seat and said "the 3rd hole from the right", "WRONG" said Akpors, "its from my a*shole". ............. AKPORS WENT TO HEAVEN.

Teacher: akpors if a person from India is an Indian, wat is a person from holland
Apkors: Hollandia.

The teacher told all the students to write an essay on a cricket match. All the students immediately got to work. After short while Akpors stood up to submit his work. The teacher was shocked when she read what Akpors had written. "It rained, so no match". ******Is it Akpors' fault********

During the exam, Akpos kept looking under the
table, then he would write on the answer sheet. His
teacher saw him doing that & thought he was
copying.? When collecting the paper after the
exam..
Teacher: I'm gonna minus 10 marks.
Akpos: Hiiaaa!! Why sir?
Teacher: For copying.
Akpos: How do you know that I was copying?
Teacher: I saw you looking under the table.
Akpos: *laughing* Question 9 said, STUDY THE
TABLE BELOW.
(

Friend: u were so drunk yesteday
Akpors:no I wasn't.
Friend: u hired a taxi to take u home.
Akpors: yes! To avoid accident.
Friend: smh! The party was at ur house dude!

You will you never truly understand naija politicians
unless you are studying Zoology as a course in
school! Akpors 1914

Akpors would rather put his head outside his
car window to shout instead of using his CAR HORN!

AKPORS THE LECTURER. Ladies at 21 to 25 would be screening guys like MTN project fame audition................but when they approach 26 to 33 they start searching for guys like GULDER ULTIMATE SEARCH....................................no be sooo?

nice jokes guy. funny

Thanks lil sweet for ur comment, some pple just dey view and go, mk una post comment na.

Mr Apkors a lecturer in Ekiti State University decided to give his students an impromtu test, his instructions is no cancelling of already answered questions! Goodluck!
Question one?
What is your favourite food(5 marks)
Students starting writing; pizza, sprinked beef, ice cream, sharwama and all sorts of chinese delicacies!!
Question two?
How do you cook them(95 marks)
Omo come see gobe students just dey rush dey change their fav food to hot water, indomie, coco yam, rice with no soup!

A Guy Akpos got employed at a big company as a
cleaner.
On his 1st day at work, he picked up a phone, dialed a
number and shouts; Get me some tea, quickly!
The voice from the other side responded; You fool!
You've dialed the wrong number. Do you know who
you are talking to?.
Akpos replied; No.
The voice said; I am the CEO of this company.
Akpos shouted; Do you know who you are talking to?.
The CEO replied; No.
Akpos said; Good! And puts down the phone.
One word for Akpos.

Akpos the librarian
Musa goes into a library to ask for a book on suicide.
He met with Akpos the Librarian.
MUSA: Please do you have a book on suicide?
AKPOS: Wetin you wan read that kind book for?
MUSA: I wan commit suicide!
Akpos stares at him for a while and says, “Abeg comot
for here! Who go come return the book!?”

3 Contractors were bidding to fix a broken fence at the
White House, where Barrack Obama lives. The 1st from
India, the 2nd from China, the 3rd Akpos from Nigeria.
They went with a White House Official to examine the
fence. The Indian took out a tape and did some
measuring, worked some figures and said; I figure the
job will cost 900 Dollars. 400 Dollars for materials, 400
Dollars for my team and 100 Dollars for me. The
Chinese did some measuring, figuring and said; I can
do it for 700 Dollars. 300 Dollars for materials, 300
Dollars for my team and 100 Dollars for me. The
Nigerian Akpos did not measure or figure. He just
leaned over to the White House Official and whispered;
2,700 Dollars. The Official said; You didn't even
measure, how did you come up with sure a high
figure?. Akpos whispered; 1,000 Dollars for me, 1,000
Dollars for you and 700 Dollars to hire the Chinese to do t'he job

The Pastor said somebody shud sing a carol song
during the church service yesterday. Akpors jumped
up.
Akpors: Baby CARO ooooo yepaaah !
CARO ur body necessaryyyy ahhhhh necessary
CARO carry leave storyyyyy ahhhh leave story....