bellong:

The guy is impotent, he hasn't told the lady he is engaged to, the pastor is aware and believing God for a miracle? What example and foundation is your pastor laying? I will say their silence is criminal and ungodly.

The lady has the the right to know about his impotent status without even wasting time praying. It is another case entirely if the lady decides to be believing God with him.

Your pastor is helping the guy lay a false foundation of deception and insincerity. He is a christian and should act as one, sincerity and truth are essential part of christian living..

pls relate what u wrote with the topic at hand, if the lady decides to stick with what most folks are saying abt not informing ones pastor, how then will she know??

Aren't u getting it, the pastor knows a lot about his/her members, & when brought into the picture on time, he/she can save u a lot of heartache

the guy is impotent & the sister is not aware but pastor is, they both plan their marriage without informing pastor(as most people are saying here) how will the pastor now advice them??

Some folks print their wedding card before informing pastor of their wedding while others will do traditional first before involving the church?? So if there was a hidden issue how will the pastor intercede.

haven't u heard of cases where the guy was treating STD & the bride was not aware & he suddenly says he want a to marry?? If the pastor was not involved, how can he counsel them??

Pls I'm against taking pictures to a pastor or giving names to a pastor, you'll be playing with fire, that's why I said stay in one place and grow!!

we have had cases where the either spouse had a child or was previously married or currently married but in another state or vicinity, their plan was to hide it from their spouse, if the wedding plans was hid from the pastor, how then can they be of help??

So involving them is for your good, YOUR PASTOR, not prayer house or pastor friend or Pentecostal native doctors!! (o yeah they exist)

Mmmmh...i had similar case too, mine ...i went to my guy's house one day so i suddenly stumble on a piece of paper when i was cleaning his house, so i found names of 2 other girls with mine been d first marked as good. When i asked wht that was for, he said the mother asked of d names of his past n current girl frnds n i ask again y my named was marked amongst others? He said i was choosen as his wife 4rm 3 different source that i dnt kno of. 2 cut d story short, he came for his first visit 2 c my pple with wine. I informed my pastor, he demanded to c him which we fix a date. Suddenly his character change, i'll call him only 4 him 2 say his busy n all that. Then suddenly he said it can't work between us any more, n i ask y he came up with am not happy n his not also happen n i was like in what sense? Is not as if we had any misundastanding or what so ever. I ask if we can c n talk things out mayb i offended him n i then know but he said no we can't c then i said ok can he @ list come c my pastor since we had already booked appointment with him...immedately he said he those not have anytn 2 do with my pastor. Already my paator of his recent artitude towards mi. We kip praying for him. After so much calls from my pple him, so as settle whatever dt's happening between us, he finally agree to talk to me on phone that "they" said we can't b together maritally so i said who r dis they, r they my God? N that was the end between us, he'll n'va pick calls from any one from me. N it went like dat till like 5months later, only for me his see is wedding pictures on facebook.

As many are lead by the spirit are sons of God (Romans 8:14)

For the spirit beareth our spirit witness that we are children of God (Romans 8:16).



You should approach a servant of God only for marital conselling

A true man of God will not tell you God said: this person is your spouse, even if God tells him, but will only guide you to choose right.

Someone that cant hear from God is not ready to marry

I'm pretty sure my parents did not see any pastor/Reverend/Evangelist before they got married and I'm going to follow their footsteps.

angiemartinez: I had the opportunity of chatting with a friend yesterday and i asked about her fiance, she told me of how all the churches she visited and all the pastors she met told her he is not her husband, That she will not enjoy the marriage. so now she is tryn to quit the relationship. what ever happens to seeking the face of God yourself? I am of the opinion that there is no man made for any woman going by what the bible says that 'HE WHO FINDS'.

Your friend is a fool to depend on the so-called pastors to make decisions for her on who she should marry or not.
If she can't make the decision by herself then she has no business in marriage. If she marries, her pastor will be in charge of all her actions in the marriage. She is the kind of woman who could sleep with a pastor if the pastor instructs her to do so for phony "special prayers and spiritual deliverance".

Guys, stay the hell away from such women!

omoelele4real: Mmmmh...i had similar case too, mine ...i went to my guy's house one day so i suddenly stumble on a piece of paper when i was cleaning his house, so i found names of 2 other girls with mine been d first marked as good. When i asked wht that was for, he said the mother asked of d names of his past n current girl frnds n i ask again y my named was marked amongst others? He said i was choosen as his wife 4rm 3 different source that i dnt kno of. 2 cut d story short, he came for his first visit 2 c my pple with wine. I informed my pastor, he demanded to c him which we fix a date. Suddenly his character change, i'll call him only 4 him 2 say his busy n all that. Then suddenly he said it can't work between us any more, n i ask y he came up with am not happy n his not also happen n i was like in what sense? Is not as if we had any misundastanding or what so ever. I ask if we can c n talk things out mayb i offended him n i then know but he said no we can't c then i said ok can he @ list come c my pastor since we had already booked appointment with him...immedately he said he those not have anytn 2 do with my pastor. Already my paator of his recent artitude towards mi. We kip praying for him. After so much calls from my pple him, so as settle whatever dt's happening between us, he finally agree to talk to me on phone that "they" said we can't b together maritally so i said who r dis they, r they my God? N that was the end between us, he'll n'va pick calls from any one from me. N it went like dat till like 5months later, only for me his see is wedding pictures on facebook.

I'm so sorry abt this, I can't imagine what you felt when you saw his wedding pics

Please BEFORE you start a relationship, involve YOUR PASTOR,

if a guy has no intention of marrying you he won't agree to see ur pastor, that will save u from someone leading u on

if a guy follows u to see your pastor, he will think twice before jilting you, it won't be that easy to do

We have had cases where a guy proposed to 3 sisters in the same church & told them respectively not to tell anybody & that it should be a secret between them.

I state it again, involving ur pastor at the onset will save u a lot of stress.

As a Christian, why go into a relationship with someone who has no pastor he is accountable to (As a Christian o)

I won't advise anybody to start a relationship with someone who consults folks to pray for them or runs from one pastor to the other, if he does that from the onset, so shall it be till the end

Too many hands spoil the soup, too many my mothers pastor, my pastor friend, one anointed powerful pastor in one matter can ruins someone's life

omoelele4real: Mmmmh...i had similar case too, mine ...i went to my guy's house one day so i suddenly stumble on a piece of paper when i was cleaning his house, so i found names of 2 other girls with mine been d first marked as good. When i asked wht that was for, he said the mother asked of d names of his past n current girl frnds n i ask again y my named was marked amongst others? He said i was choosen as his wife 4rm 3 different source that i dnt kno of. 2 cut d story short, he came for his first visit 2 c my pple with wine. I informed my pastor, he demanded to c him which we fix a date. Suddenly his character change, i'll call him only 4 him 2 say his busy n all that. Then suddenly he said it can't work between us any more, n i ask y he came up with am not happy n his not also happen n i was like in what sense? Is not as if we had any misundastanding or what so ever. I ask if we can c n talk things out mayb i offended him n i then know but he said no we can't c then i said ok can he @ list come c my pastor since we had already booked appointment with him...immedately he said he those not have anytn 2 do with my pastor. Already my paator of his recent artitude towards mi. We kip praying for him. After so much calls from my pple him, so as settle whatever dt's happening between us, he finally agree to talk to me on phone that "they" said we can't b together maritally so i said who r dis they, r they my God? N that was the end between us, he'll n'va pick calls from any one from me. N it went like dat till like 5months later, only for me his see is wedding pictures on facebook.

I'm happy you've moved on. When I say some men are callous, this Is one of the reasons. I think he intentionally let you see that list just for him to get into your pants. You were probably his side chick. All those period, he already had a serious relationship with the lady he eventually married. Think less about it. I know how it feels. God will give you the bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh.

angiemartinez: I had the opportunity of chatting with a friend yesterday and i asked about her fiance, she told me of how all the churches she visited and all the pastors
she met told her he is not her husband, That she will not enjoy the marriage. so now she is tryn to quit the relationship. what ever happens to seeking the face of God yourself? I am of the opinion that there is no man made for any woman going by what the bible says that 'HE WHO FINDS'.

The bolded part is her problem, why so many churches & pastors?

Stay in one place & grow, Christianity is not magic. The people of the world take names & pictures to native doctors to look into the future of intending couples, there u hear things like the man's star is not bright, the lady is not meant for the man, the man will die before the lady etc

sometimes, infact most times they are accurate, but the bible forbids us Christians to indulge in such acts, so people carry this same mentality into church trying to know what the future holds, they start running from pillar to post

the guy or lady will spread their picture around, Aunty pls show ur pastor, uncle pls show ur pastor, a friend will tell u there is one pastor somewhere that sees bla bla, there is no way u won't get conflicting report

kofsy: I'm happy you've moved on. When I say some men are callous, this Is one of the reasons. I think he intentionally let you see that list just for him to get into your pants. You were probably his side chick. All those period, he already had a serious relationship with the lady he eventually married. Think less about it. I know how it feels. God will give you the bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh.

Do u think at the very beginning if she had introduced him to her pastor, the guy would have done what he did?

if u tell a guy that before you agree to date him or marry him, that he has to see your pastor, he will think properly before agreeing, if his intentions aren't genuine, he will flee

most relationships starts out without any supervisory figure, hence the messy way they end

eg I told my mum that I was going to bring the lady I intend getting married to, she came and I introduced her to my mum

I also told my mum to look at her closely & tell me what her opinion is, now that we haven't gone far, she told me she was ok with her and that I should keep studying her

we are from different churches, I also introduced her to my pastor, my pastor said the same thing with my mum!!

Now do u think u I can easily bring another girl home, (mind u, am the responsible type, this is my first relationship) or play around another sister in church when my pastor already knows I'm in a relationship!!

If either of them had objected to her, I would have gone to pray more & checked
my convictions and get back to them.

Sometimes when parents or pastors says no, u don't just quit, u pray & check ur convictions, imagine a guy telling a
Pastor he want to marry a sister with no convictions, what do u think the answer wil be?

so it pays to stay in one place & submit urself to the authority there rather than jumping from one pillar to post

For me oooooo
1. watch very well (tripple lens glasses)
2. Pray and knw God's mind about the matter
3. Inform ur pastor/spiritual head he wld counsel u.
3 points are very important

Peeps.!!!! What about this people dat ask pastors if he or she is ordained with him or her from heaven and when pastor choose most cases @ d end of the day their marriage dosent use to last 2yrs .......what happens to that

[quote
author=bellong]Your friend is not yet ripe to be married. He is not
matured emotionally and spiritually.

Only babes are driven about with every wind of doctrine. Whatever a
pastor will tell you should be a confirmation of what you already
know.[/quote]
thats true buh depends on d pastor tellin u...ther ar many fake pastors now....the soln is findin a true man of God dats a pastor to advice u on it... nd follow ur spirit

eyen nyin: are you married now?

No, but I am in a relationship prospectively leading to marriage

Well, the pastors may be right.

The problem is actually with christians who do not have a relationship (koinonia) with their father. They haven't develop their hearing abiility and they expect it to happen suddenly as soon as they are ready to marry, smh.

They are spiritual bastards, begotten by a father they do not relate with, left with the hands of a mother (church, pastors etc) who tells them about a father they never met.

The key is know (epignosis- full, accurate knowledge) your father and have a fellowship (koinonia) with Him.

A pastor is just to confirm (he confirms because emotions may cloud our judgement) what God has spoken, but how can you know what God said when you don't relate with him and understand how he speaks to you.

Well said bro!!

Unbelieavable stuff one reads on Nairaland. I just find it hard to believe some people think one must see a pastor to decide who one should get married to. If this topic were on a US or UK blog, I doubt if there will be 10 responses as the topic would seem more like a joke. No wonder we have the kind of leaders we have and there are several scam pastors out there. Because when people have to consult a pastor to decide who to marry, which school their kids to go to, what job to take, what to eat etc then there will be demand for pastors which will mean more scam pastors. Its all about demand and supply.

So for those that say you have to see a pastor. Please why dont you just ask the pastor who your husband/wife should be. No need dating someone for three years only for the pastor to say he does not approve. You should just get the pastor to tell you who your husband or wife is so that you can just go ahead and marry the person without even dating. Abi now, once pastor tells you who your spouse should be, you do not need to date anymore. I dont blame the pastors sha.

fidatt: then he is not ready to get married. When he is ready he will see his wife in one of th six girls. I don't believe a man or a woman can sincerely love more than one person for a relationship or marriage.

how will his readiness make him see wife in the 6 of them? if they aren't worth his while in the first place, he won't be considering marrying any of them in the first place - which means all the 6 of them are wife materials.

so try again.....

therealMcCain:

pls relate what u wrote with the topic at hand, if the lady decides to stick with what most folks are saying abt not informing ones pastor, how then will she know??

Aren't u getting it, the pastor knows a lot about his/her members, & when brought into the picture on time, he/she can save u a lot of heartache

the guy is impotent & the sister is not aware but pastor is, they both plan their marriage without informing pastor(as most people are saying here) how will the pastor now advice them??

Some folks print their wedding card before informing pastor of their wedding while others will do traditional first before involving the church?? So if there was a hidden issue how will the pastor intercede.

haven't u heard of cases where the guy was treating STD & the bride was not aware & he suddenly says he want a to marry?? If the pastor was not involved, how can he counsel them??

Pls I'm against taking pictures to a pastor or giving names to a pastor, you'll be playing with fire, that's why I said stay in one place and grow!!

we have had cases where the either spouse had a child or was previously married or currently married but in another state or vicinity, their plan was to hide it from their spouse, if the wedding plans was hid from the pastor, how then can they be of help??

So involving them is for your good, YOUR PASTOR, not prayer house or pastor friend or Pentecostal native doctors!! (o yeah they exist)

The epistle you wrote up here has not solved the fundamental question I raised. Must someone who called himself a christian see a pastor for speaking truth with each other?

Why can't the guy declare his status to the girl and why can't the pastor advise the guy to tell her the truth? WHy must they see the pastor before setting stuff in perspective.

Such attitude is not godly and we are not so learned of Christ..

So in my own case where no prophet/pastor has been able to talk/see my future,what happens?
When i was about getting married(i wasnt aware then)my MIL took my name to some pastor.The man couldnt say anything about me.All he said was he was waiting to Hear from his Father(God)
Have been in a church or fellowship house the call all the young ladies out and say things about their future,when its my turn the pastor just says its well or go back to your seat
Me and siblings one time where in my Aunt's house,a pastor was seeing things.He told my siblings and cousins stuffs abt them,then as usual when it was my Turn nothing was said
Am i a naturally Good person or maybe i dont Exist LoL

This is how some people just loose their life partner and marry the wrong person all in the name of a pastor who said God said that he or she is not the right person for you.

I think its ladies that do this most cos they are too religious compared to men

Common use your common sense! Pastor shouldn't decide for you who to marry or not.

Sorry I would never consult a pastor to choose my life partner

Mrs mansson: So in my own case where no prophet/pastor has been able to talk/see my future,what happens?
When i was about getting married(i wasnt aware then)my MIL took my name to some pastor.The man couldnt say anything about me.All he said was he was waiting to Hear from his Father(God)
Have been in a church or fellowship house the call all the young ladies out and say things about their future,when its my turn the pastor just says its well or go back to your seat
Me and siblings one time where in my Aunt's house,a pastor was seeing things.He told my siblings and cousins stuffs abt them,then as usual when it was my Turn nothing was said
Am i a naturally Good person or maybe i dont Exist LoL

Lmao...., you exist jare..... too much.

omoelele4real: Mmmmh...i had similar case too, mine ...i went to my guy's house one day so i suddenly stumble on a piece of paper when i was cleaning his house, so i found names of 2 other girls with mine been d first marked as good. When i asked wht that was for, he said the mother asked of d names of his past n current girl frnds n i ask again y my named was marked amongst others? He said i was choosen as his wife 4rm 3 different source that i dnt kno of. 2 cut d story short, he came for his first visit 2 c my pple with wine. I informed my pastor, he demanded to c him which we fix a date. Suddenly his character change, i'll call him only 4 him 2 say his busy n all that. Then suddenly he said it can't work between us any more, n i ask y he came up with am not happy n his not also happen n i was like in what sense? Is not as if we had any misundastanding or what so ever. I ask if we can c n talk things out mayb i offended him n i then know but he said no we can't c then i said ok can he @ list come c my pastor since we had already booked appointment with him...immedately he said he those not have anytn 2 do with my pastor. Already my paator of his recent artitude towards mi. We kip praying for him. After so much calls from my pple him, so as settle whatever dt's happening between us, he finally agree to talk to me on phone that "they" said we can't b together maritally so i said who r dis they, r they my God? N that was the end between us, he'll n'va pick calls from any one from me. N it went like dat till like 5months later, only for me his see is wedding pictures on facebook.

Are you trying to abbreviate Cos your English is killing me here . . .

hmmmmmmn english mistress

Ujujoan:

Are you trying to abbreviate Cos your English is killing me here . . .

If you want to do a church wedding ( an illegality as far as African tradition is concerned) you will need to see the pastor, since he/ she will be officiating it. failure to do that , he ( the pastor ) will show you that hes the boss.