There's this 'aunt' of mine that's almost becoming a nutcase cos of the anguish she's going through now.

She n her hubby had a quarrel a while back n he moved out of the house, he refused disclosing where he was. The woman was left with their 2 kids. While the kids were in the care of the house help (their mother had gone to the market), the man came home and took the kids. That was the last she saw of them.
Its almost 4 years now n no word from hubby or his people. I wish there was a way I could help her cos she suffering big time.

Any suggestions?

All dis years she's been trying to contact them but no way. She n d hubby's people aren't in good terms so she can't go to them. The man just 'vanished'. The woman had her faults too but I think the man's move was too drastic.

She had her faults too esp divulging personal info abt her hubby to outsiders e.g he doesn't give me this, that, he isn't man enuf n stuff like dat sha. He heard abt it n was furious.

Trust me when I say she's tried every means possible. They keep telling her they haven't heard from him also, what's she to do? He's changed all his contacts n relocated someplace she doesn't even know. He just cut her off completely.

This days,she doesn't speak so coherently again, she just mumbles n stares blankly looking so lost. I can't begin to imagine what she's passing through.

kendraloops: All dis years she's been trying to contact them but no way. She n d hubby's people aren't in good terms so she can't go to them. The man just 'vanished'. The woman had her faults too but I think the man's move was too drastic.

She had her faults too esp divulging personal info abt her hubby to outsiders e.g he doesn't give me this, that, he isn't man enuf n stuff like dat sha. He heard abt it n was furious.

Ops : It is funny when people that commit an offence or did something bad want to determine the size of their punishment

A man/woman can make a choice but nobody can choose the consequences of their choices. Before a man could move out his house with his children, alot must have happened more than the 2 lines you wrote above. It must have take a toll on him. Before he died like that man on M25 , he walked away.

kind.way:


Ops : It is funny when people that commit an offence or did something bad want to determine the size of their punishment

A man/woman can make a choice but nobody can choose the consequences of their choices. Before a man could move out his house with his children, alot must have happened more than the 2 lines you wrote above. It must have take a toll on him. Before he died like that man on M25 , he walked away.

Yea I totally agree with you that a lot must have happened before he made that move. I just think the 'punishment' she's serving is too harsh on her. Haba! No warning or notice, the kids were just taken away like that. All she wants now is just a glimpse of her kids.

This is the worst punishment that can happen to someone.
Wahala, if it happens to me, God forbid, but I swear, I will pour my blood to see I get back my kids.

I will take my last sweat, gather police and army, arrest the guys immediate family. No one will be left out including his great grand mother.

Let me see how he won't surface.
No body deserves this kind of punishment.

Chillisauce: This is the worst punishment that can happen to someone.
Wahala, if it happens to me, God forbid, but I swear, I will pour my blood to see I get back my kids.

I will take my last sweat, gather police and army, arrest the guys immediate family. No one will be left out including his great grand mother.

Let me see how he won't surface.
No body deserves this kind of punishment.

Go try am with some people.. , Them go send you to jail for violating their human right and this action of yours just justified why the man ran away from his life.

on the other side: if you try am with some faliy, then go just kdnapp your people without asking for ransom...

kind.way:


Go try am with some people.. , Them go send you to jail for violating their human right and this action of yours just justified why the man ran away from his life.

on the other side: if you try am with some faliy, then go just kdnapp your people without asking for ransom...

This time I got nothing to loose o. You can't kill already dead person.

Its a pity the woman is passing tru such.
Its also a pity that she is not in good terms with all her husband's pple.

When she noticed her marriage was going south, she didn't make a move to reconcile with at least one of her hubby's pple even if one person. Hubby left for four yrs, nothing, its now bc d children r involved she is crying awol.

If she files for divorce now, will she win?
Is she after d custody of the two children?
Remember, d children belongs to the man also.

She should take her pple to the man's place and negotitiate with them. For now its no longer her fight.

Chillisauce: This is the worst punishment that can happen to someone.
Wahala, if it happens to me, God forbid, but I swear, I will pour my blood to see I get back my kids.

I'm telling you. I just about died a little when I read this story. I can't even bear to imagine it.

Is there no private investigator in Nigeria she can hire?

4 yrs later and still nothing? Oga o. I think it might be time for her and her people to go and beg and grovel at his people's place.

Since it is 4 years now, i am sure she must have tried everything in her power to get those kids back. The best thing right now, is to pray and be hopeful about the reunion with her kids. nothing is impossible with God. And He can direct her steps to someone who will be of help to her. Let her have faith and be strong.The more she exercises fear, the more fearful she will become. When we are calm and positive minded, answers flow UN-hindered in to our minds. She will see them soon.

no, no suggestions.

This is serious o!
How can a woman(wife) not be in good term with ANY of her hubby's family, not even one That woman's charater must really be questionable.
What about any of the man's friends?

Nevertheless, my own suggestion is for her to go through it legally and lawfully.
Another crazy method is to declare them, both husband and kids missing, if she has their pictures, she can go to the media houses like TV and newspaper and declare them missing with their pictures on display. Im sure someone will surface to claim thay aint missing, and she can take it over from there.
May God help them o.

Are they legally and properly married? If yes,why have she not tried the legal way? Even if they are not properly married,its her kids too. She should declare the missing and/or kidnapped.

This is pure madness and trust me,most times,it takes a 200% dose of high level craze to cure such madness. 4 years ke?Every member of that pesin family,young and old for don disappear.

she should move on with her life, remarry and have other kids.

there's nothing shouting on nl will do if she cant have actual humans on ground that she relates with.

these gossip stories are annoying.

its not by force to put mouth in other people's matter all the time.

How can she not be in good terms with all her in-laws? Is she such a bad person that not even one of them will consider her plight and give her just a teeny bit clue in the right direction? I know some in laws can be difficult; always in support of their own no matter how bad he is. But no matter what, if she was a fairly good person to them while the marriage lasted, she should have at least on that will be in 'fair' terms with her if not good!

That said, where was he working/doing business four years ago? I bet he changed that but someone from that era may have a lead. Does/did he have any friends she knows about? She should go back and appeal to them, she may hit their good side now. She can engage the services of a PI or get her family members to act as one if she can't afford the few we have in naija. While doing all these, she should also notify the police! Yes,the kids belong to the two of them but he had no right to torture her by taking them away like that.

A former neighbor of mine almost ran mad when her husband took her kids away (after they were separated) for nine. months! I remember it was one guy from his former place of work that helped her find the man and also a member of his family was the one that described his new house and even where his new wife was working. With prayers and good legal support, she was awarded custody of her children last year May.

Pray for divine intervention, if he did not use the kids for rituals(people can be desperate o) then it is not to late too find them and if she knows the right people, she may even be awarded custody!

Tell her to take it to the police and to the court. That marriage is over. The important thing is the kids now. All this in-law wahala sef, i wonder why i will cover up for my brother if does this kind of thing. 4yrs!

Its not about being in good terms with her husbands family its about the cruel kind of man she married. A woman no matter the conflict between she and her husband should never have to beg his family before she can have access to her children. What kind of family does the man have that will be part of this kind of this kind of cruelty. Except the woman is a danger to her children.

I see a woman still hoping for reconciliation with her husband and that's why she has not taken desperate measures like reporting it as a kidnap case. The marriage is over she should report to the police.

It seems its high time I stopped coming to the family section,cos most of the things I see here are baffling. Is this how complicated marriage life is,abeg am not married,but it seems am beginning to have a cold feet about it.

Mrs Debrief,Chaircover,and greatgod,I love your contributions,you are the reason am still hopeful about married life. I know your husbands would definitely be enjoying their life with you people.

God bless you abundantly..

Op,sorry for derailing.

.

Seriously at this point she should have reported them kidnapped ,whatever means it takes to get back the kids is worth it.

Sad thing is women are advised to do this a lot in our society. Now that the shoe is on the other foot it seems outrageous. People never think about how these things affect their kids, but are consumed with selfishness and hurting the other spouse. Those same kids will go and find their other parent no matter what. Even if you take them to Mars. You don't have to live together. But don't take the kids without permission or easy access to them by the other spouse. At the end of the day, when they hear the other side of the story no matter how false you become the devil and heartless person to your kids. Those kids didn't ask to be born into all this. She should move on. Declare them missing and get a divorce then remarry. Her kids will find her. Not like she can ever see such a person the same way again to live with them. Take all necessary steps for a divorce and find someone new. She should tell the new person her story

This is another level of wickedness I can't comprehend with. Even if she was horrible to the man and his family, she does not deserve to be separated from her children for this long. So nobody in the man's family can put him/herself in the woman's position and give pointers to the man's whereabouts. Walahi, if this happened to me (God frobid) na army and SSS I go take round-up the entire family. by the time he discover that his own family has disappeared without a trace, he go reappear like magic. Like baby_123 said, once the kids grow older and discover they were cruelly separated from their mother, they may never forgive their dad and his family.

All those saying she should file for divorce, how she go do am? Person wey she neva see for years?

The cracks were there but I guess she never thought he'd take it this far. I remember visiting her before this whole drama n she sat me down, started giving me advice abt choosing the right partner n all. I knew something was up then cos we've never spoken on that level before.

She has pleaded, threatened, gone with her people but still no show. Who knows, probably the man is out of the country with the kids?

Saw her last week, she could barely recognise me. She's lost any motivation to live. Na her people just dey urge am on. Heard she attempted suicide at some point. May God help us.

^ madam, stop stalking the lady and let her be.

The woman sef, why do people always hang around others who clearly wish them evil, if your life keeps going downward all the time, isnt that a sign you need to change who you move with?

Or else you'll soon know they're only waiting to see you enter your grave.

While you're still thinking they are friends.

So you now know how it feels when one parent decides to deny the other access to the children?

So when some women take away the children from their father or get a restraining order to deny the father access they never taught it would have any effect on the man?

OP How old are these children and what are their sexes

Her hopes right now is to go to the police claim the man kidnapped the child, if she has any money publish it on TV and newspaper like PM news and watch for tips she might add financial incentives to it

Pikin wey don grandparent?

Am sure one can get a divorce based on abandonment. Since you are not in any way related to her this thread is just gossip

How many threads on NL aint gossip? I might see an option here that's not been explored n pass it on to her or some close buddy subtly.