This is what a guy wrote to our systems analyst.
(Marriage Software Division):

Dear Systems Analyst,

I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization and then it monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as 'Boys' Night out 2.5' and 'Golf 5.3' no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected 'Saturday Football 6.3' always fails and 'Saturday Shopping 7.1' runs instead.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline.

I am thinking of going back to 'Girlfriend 7.0', but uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please help?

, AND THIS IS WHAT OUR ANALYST SAID:

Dear Customer,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything on your current platform.
You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).
Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the,

C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system.
It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.
Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance program, can be very rewarding.
To get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as 'Flowers 2.0' and 'Chocolates 5.0' or 'HUGS\ KISSES 600.0' or 'TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING 1000.0' or even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1' (if Child processing has already started).

DO NOT under any circumstances install 'Secretary 2.1" (Short Skirt Version)
or 'One Nightstand 3.2' (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly CRASH!

women wahala

nice one nightie, its just that some people may find it difficult to read inbetween the lines

ROFLMAO

Omo see yawa!!

I wonder if we can partition the system and run concubine 2.1 or even Prostitute 9.0 simultaneously.

and

Okija_juju:

ROFLMAO

Omo see yawa!!

I wonder if we can partition the system and run concubine 2.1 or even Prostitute 9.0 simultaneously.

and who says u can't? just try it out bro

omo okija na wa for you oh

tufe u no well na me be omo okija?

well, the gist is nice but can only be understood very well by those that did computer science or related course. I need more of this,  :- *

place ur order with a little suscription and i'll get back to u ASAP

Old but still cool . . .nice one

yawns

why?

becuz we just scored a bleeping goal !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

u don't mean ittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

yes oh, why u no dey watch am sef

,
my dear i get wetin pass me wey i dey try fix here

rubbish . . . . .theres no xcuse for missing this match, . . .we are about to repeat (by the Grace of God) what we did in 1996, and u say u are too busy to spare 90mins. nna na wa for you oh

Spoke with my System analyst, says incase system is about crashing, install nightnurse 0.0.7(NLD version).

This will bust the operating system and eradicate possible virues.

ok

sincity:

Spoke with my System analyst, says incase system is about crashing, install nightnurse 0.0.7(NLD version).

This will bust the operating system and eradicate possible virues.

i pitty u.

@tufe

how mush them wan give me when the match end?

nightie, how do u get pain each day after u finish watching second chance.

i go vex for you oh, well anyway, we win i just dey happy for now

, when the nightnurse 0.0.7 (NLD version) 2008, has been installed its automatically wipes away wife 1.0 and does an upgrade to girlfriend 7.0 to girlfriend 20.0xp.

I personally think that's cool.

so u ready throw way ur wife for nightie. see ur life

Sorry dude, my system does not have the wife 1.0 version.

Just installed girlfriend 5.0, worked some miracle, planning on adding another version to bust the speed

now thats the spirit. fire on man. wife 5.0 na waste software

Then i gats to get me some double upgrading like yesterday dude.

humerious

hmmmm

what do u recommend

trying to download some new applications on NLD site!