By YETUNDE AREBI






My first contact with this guy whom I will
call worried guy for the purpose of this
article was through another e-mail address.
He’d asked if I could spare a few minutes to
discuss a very personal issue with him on a
given phone number which I’d obliged.
We have been talking ever since and the
thrust of our discussion is what I have
reproduced below as he has requested.

Worried guy is a 32 year old hard working
and very focussed banker, while his wife
whom he met at the university works as a
teacher in a private Secondary school.

They are both Christians and have been
married for close to three years, but he
would rather not take his problems to the
church for personal reasons. He is counting
on you and I to work things out. Please, let
do this together!
Dear Yetunde,
I have a very serious problem which has
started affecting me psychologically and
even my performance at my job.
I have tried to work things out with my
wife but it has not yielded any positive
result as I am not convinced about the
situation. I feel too ashamed to discuss the
problem with my pastor and even worse
with my mother because I know that will
only escalate things. Trust me, I know my
mother and mothers generally. As for my
friends, I am afraid they might turn around
to use it against us and make me the butt of
their jokes
My problem started last December, over the
festive period to be precise. I caught my
wife on our matrimonial bed having sex
with a vibrator. I almost collapsed because I
was shocked beyond what words can
describe. I found myself shaking from head
to toe, unable to even say anything. I felt so
disgusted and sick that I had to rush to the
bathroom to splash water over my face to
avoid vomiting.
She must have been so engrossed in what
she was doing that she did not even know
when I entered our apartment and walked
into the room to find her in that position. It
was my movement that brought her back to
reality.
What I found most disturbing at that
moment was why she could not wait for me
if she was so in need of sex, since I’d called
her earlier on that I was on my way home.
And though she got up immediately and
started pleading with me that it was the
devil, I did not bring myself to talk to her
until very early in the morning of the next
day.
She told me a friend in her office had given
it to her to try out and it was her first time
of using it. And that she would have told me
about it but wanted to try it out first. She
mentioned somebody’s name which she
said I have never met and pleaded that she
would return it and never use it again. She
managed to convince me that it was an
innocent one-off-thing which I did not need
to bother myself about and I accepted.
But it was difficult for me to forget as I kept
seeing the picture of her in that position in
my head and wondering if it was right for a
married, Christian woman to be doing such
a thing. To me, it is something made by the
Satan for his children.
Later that week, she told me she had
returned it and things went back to normal
between us but I was surprised to find the
instrument again in her underwear drawer
by accident. She was not at home, so I took
it out and laid it on her side of the bed. As
soon as she saw it, she went on her knees
again and began to beg me.
She said she did not know how to return
the thing since it was a gift and would not
want to upset her colleague at the office,
nor embarrass herself. She insisted she was
not using it and was also scouting for
whom she too can give it to.
Since I did not catch her using it, I had no
choice but to let it go. However, I was not
comfortable and began suspecting her. I
later hatched a plan to catch her and before
long, it worked. What I saw that evening
was worse than the previous one and still
haunts me till today.
I’d never seen my wife look that way
before even when we are doing it. I was
transfixed that I had to hide quietly behind
the door way to allow her finish before I
opened the door. Immediately my wife
went on her knees, begging that it was the
devil again.
I refused to talk to her and walked out of
the apartment. I just walked round and
round the neighbourhood because I felt lost
and didn’t know where to go or who to talk
to. I felt thoroughly betrayed. I had never
looked at another woman in my life, before
and even after I met her. I’d never looked at
porn magazines or movie, not to talk of
having a girlfriend, and worse still, owning
a intimacy gadget.
I could only manage to keep my anger for
two days as she kept crying and asking for
forgiveness, promising never to use it
again. I could not bear to see her that way
too, so, I insisted she had to tell me the
truth.
She then told me that since the matter was
no longer a secret, it was better she
confessed everything to me. She said the
vibrator was hers and she had been using it
even before she became a born again
Christian, as she was introduced to it while
in Secondary school. (A girls only school) I
don’t understand the logic, but she said it
was a way to show that they did not need
male company? Were they Lesbians?
She insisted they were not. When she
became “born again” in the university, she
stopped, she said. This was where we met
and started first as friends, then I got the
message that she was my wife and we
eventually got married two years after our
service year. She said she was forced to go
and buy another vibrator after a discussion
with some ladies in her office about how
much they enjoyed their sex life and she
missed the fun she used to have. She also
told me that she does not get satisfaction
from what we do together but did not want
to hurt my feelings by telling me and
begged me to allow her to continue using
the thing and that it will not affect what we
have together, after all, I never would have
guessed it, if I had not caught her using it.
My problem now is that, though I have not
caught her again in almost two months, I
am still not happy because I know she is
doing it and its disgusting to me. Though
she says it will not affect us, it is already
affecting me because anytime I want to
have sex with her, that picture comes to my
mind and spoils my mood. I will have to just
force myself because I have nowhere else
to relieve myself.
My work schedule is very tight as I work in
the bank and have to leave home very early
in the morning and most times, don’t return
home until around 10pm or even later. I am
also taking some professional courses, so,
that also takes away most of my weekends.

But my wife is a teacher, so she has more
than enough time on her hands to do all she
wants before I return.
Before you ask what I have done to make
our love life better, I have tried to do
everything she tells me, and though she
says she is now enjoying it, I am not
convinced. I do not see that look on her
face. And it is making me feel inadequate as
a husband. We have been married for three
years and we are yet to conceive a child
and I sometimes wonder if this is her
priority. I know what I am facing with my
mother and family on that issue alone, not
to now add this one to it.
Have I not bitten more than I can chew with
this girl? My wife is unfaithful to me and I
am powerless to do anything about it.
Please Aunty Yetunde, help me. I want
Nigerians to advise me on what next to do.

I don’t want anyone to know my identity
please.
Worried guy in Lagos.
Well Nigerians, the ball is in your court. As is
my style, I never assume I have the best
answers to all relationship problems and
this guy is sure not expecting me to
provide him one.

He is asking for your opinion to enable him
take his decisions concerning his situation.

So, what do you think is the way out for
this couple? Is worried guy just a sex
novice or his wife is being too clever by
half? Is she really cheating on him with this
toy or helping him? There are so many
other issues I noticed in this guy’s story
which I am hoping you will spot out too.


Please, let’s help to save this marriage.


www.vanguardngr.com/2014/06/wife-cheating-vibrator/

the guy should register in a gym and also learn How to satisfy his woman on bed! and never decline his woman call for help on bed! even if he can't really satisfy her then he can give her a helping hand on fore play! women love this!