The first time I ever heard someone use a title to describe a
professional other than a doctor was in Enugu in 1982. I had
tuned in to the state radio station soon after I arrived in
town and it mentioned “the Deputy Governor of Anambra
State, Engineer Roy Umenyi.” I at first wondered if the
“engineer” was a name, since there are some queer English
names such as Farmer, Hunter, Seaman, Cook etc.
Right through my primary and secondary school days in this
country the titles we knew were Malam, Alhaji, Mister, Miss
and Mrs. There were also the clerical titles Father, Pastor,
Deacon, Archbishop and Cardinal. Chief was the
commonest title in the South for politicians and important
people. Religious revivalism of the 1970s brought other
titles such as Uztaz, Alaranma and Sheikh. “Evangelist” also
made its debut around that time. Some Mazis [S.G. Ikoku]
and Ogbuefis [Alex Nwokedi] also came up. Chief M.K.O.
Abiola popularised Aare and Bashorun and there was a High
Chief [Gabriel Akin-Deko]. The only titles however that
suggested a man’s profession were Doctor and Professor. A
doctor was a medical doctor, a veterinary doctor or a PhD
holder, while professor suggested that a person has risen to
the zenith of an academic career.
Right from the First Republic, members of Parliament were
addressed as Honourables. Speakers and regional premiers
were addressed as The Right Honourables, a common
tradition in the British Empire. I once stumbled on my
father’s 1964 diary [he was private secretary to Sir Ahmadu
Bello then] where he made a note that the Premier told him
to arrange some puffs for “the Speaker of the Sierra Leone
Parliament, The Right Honourable Mr. Banja Tejan-Sie”.
Now, during the long years of military rule in this country,
state military governors were addressed as their
Excellencies. That was how regional governors were
addressed in colonial times. Nigerian ambassadors abroad
as well as foreign envoys in Nigeria were also addressed as
their Excellencies, a worldwide tradition. In the North, His
Royal Highness was used to address emirs while His
Eminence was reserved for the Sultan of Sokoto. In the
South, His Majesty was more commonly used to address
Obas and Obis.
Once upon a time, the highest title in Nigeria was “Sir,” i.e.
a person knighted by the British Queen with a KCMG [Knight
Commander of Saint Michael and Saint George]. The men
who bore the title “Sir” were the grandest in Nigeria in those
days. They were not so many. They include Sir Abubakar
Tafawa Balewa, Sir Ahmadu Bello, Sir Kashim Ibrahim, Sir
Aderemi Adesoji, Sir Adetokunbo Ademola, Sir Darnley
Alexander, Sir Akanu Ibiam, Sir Abubakar III, Sir Usman
Nagogo and Sir Mobolaji Bank-Anthony. I still do not know
why Queen Elizabeth did not confer KCMG on Dr. Nnamdi
Azikiwe and Chief Obafemi Awolowo.
Not long after I heard about Engr. Roy Umenyi [inventor of
the Biafran gun ogbunigwe], Nigerian engineers of all hues
took to using the title before their names. While the title
helpfully tells you that this man trained as an engineer, it
does not say whether he is a civil, mechanical, electrical,
agricultural, chemical, space or computer engineer. Neither
does it tell you whether the person has a degree or an HND,
the on-going skirmish to abolish “dichotomy”
notwithstanding.
Because engineers got away with it, pharmacists took after
them. We began to see names with “Pharm” preceding
them. The title “doctor” also became confusing when
herbalists adopted it. The biggest herbalists even adopted
the title “Prof.” Titles took a small beating in 1993 when
General Sani Abacha appointed Military Administrators for
the states and said they should not be called Excellencies.
This did not reduce their power one bit.
Architects soon joined the fray, affixing “Arch” to their
names. In 1992 they got much leeway with having a
governor, Architect Kabiru Gaya. The habit spread far and
fast. One day I opened a newspaper and saw a man
addressed as “Surv.” so-and-so. He was the Surveyor
General of the Federation. Not long afterwards I saw a man
addressed as “Stats.” so-and-so. He was Statistician
General of Nigeria, so the title means Statistician. I was
really puzzled. I too have studied statistics courses and I
know some things such as mean, mode, median, standard
deviation, normal distribution, Bell curve and confidence
interval. Maybe I should add “Stats.” to my short name.
One day I saw “Bldr” as a prefix to a Nigerian name. I learnt
that the man was a Builder. I was amazed. It was not like he
was the one who built the Taj Mahal, the Golden Gate
Bridge, Bhurj Khalifa, Kremlin palace or the Great Pyramid
of Giza. I thought that with all the building collapses that we
are experiencing in Nigeria these days, a man should be
ashamed to call himself a builder, not to talk of attaching it
as a prefix to his name.
But then, why should he be ashamed? All the big and deep
potholes that adorn Nigerian roads have not discouraged
anyone from attaching the prefix Engineer to his name. The
fact that most Nigerian bridges have no railings has not
dampened any engineer’s spirit either. I was amazed that
anyone will call himself a statistician in Nigeria when
nobody believes the figures dished out by the National
Bureau of Statistics. Anytime CBN says inflation was 7% in
the last quarter, people will sneer that the cost of a measure
of corn almost doubled. They don’t want to hear anything
about a composite index.
I attended a seminar in Kaduna in the 1990s and a fellow
paper presenter was addressed as “Consultant” so-and-so. I
at first thought he was a consultant surgeon. I later heard
that he was a freelance media consultant. I then began to
see with Nigerian doctors why they don’t want nurses to get
the title “Consultant Nurse.”
Then there come the Honourables. With the return to civil
rule in 1999 every local government chairman and
councillor, every member of a state assembly and House of
Representatives, every commissioner, special adviser and
special assistant to President, Vice President, governor,
deputy governor or speaker became an Honourable. Trust
politicians not to stop there. Anyone who once held the
office and in fact, anyone who is aspiring to get any of those
offices in the future is immediately addressed as
Honourable. All these would have been okay with me if all
these men and women have become honourable in conduct.
Why are men and women called honourables when much of
their conduct is injurious to the public treasury, to election
laws, to civil service rules, to parliamentary ethics, to
cultural norms and sometimes even to the human spirit?
The people who make it to the Senate need a title even
grander than Honourable, so they are called Distinguished.
How I wish all of them have distinguished themselves in a
certain way. A man who did not so much as attend Senate
sittings for the constitutionally prescribed minimum number
of days is still called Distinguished. For that matter, the man
who sat through the entire Senate tenure without sponsoring
a bill or moving a motion is still distinguished.
Then there are the Excellencies. The President, Vice
President, governors, deputy governors and ambassadors
are accorded this title, evidently the highest in the Nigerian
pyramid of ridiculous titles. A man who has not done
anything excellent must still be addressed as
His
Excellency. Is it not better if we break it down into His Poor,
His Average, His Good and then reserve His Excellency only
to the one who did something excellent?
The My Lords are also there, the judges of high, appeal and
supreme courts together with their shari’a and customary
court soul mates. Of all the titles inherited from the colonial
era, this is the one that sounds most strange to the African
ear, since God is the lord. The way we are going, someone
will one day hand out a business card with the honorific title
Armed Robber preceding his name.

Mahmud Jega 14/07/14

So funny.. Nigerians and titles.

Rev (Dr) Chris Oyakhilome PHD


His Excellency, Distinguished Senator Dr. Bukola Saraki

High Chief Raymond Dokpesi

His Excellency, Honorable Minister Ibrahim Shekarau

We'll soon be seeing 'Very High Chief' 'Most Honorable' and so on.