Today I saw a woman who had been beaten by her husband. Her face was swollen and she looked lonely nd dejected. I felt so sad.
So I thot to ask u guyz if you have ever known an abuser(personally), why do you think they beat their wives or gf?
p.s. I hope this thread is not interpreted as man-hating or man-bashing I just want to get some perspective bout the mind of men who beat their partners.

My neighbour also beats his wife, its almost like an everyday thing now. Yesterday I told my mum that one day the woman will collapse because the rate at which he beats her, sometimes he beats her from night till morning. Its really sad.

If she isn't enjoying it, why is she still there? I have desensitized myself from feeling much empathy for these women, some of them surely do have a screw or two loose up there. I mean, standing like a tree to be bludgeoned to oblivion by an insane beast isn't particularly a human characteristics.


why these men hit there spouse? It's because they can and the spouse does nothing to stop it. My aunt was regularly beaten by her husband when I was a kid, until my uncle busted him with his course mates and taught him the fear of God. No beaten was ever recorded and they have been married for more than three decades.


Some women can also turn the most docile of men to an insane beast. If I am a man, i doubt if I can resist a woman that goes locking me by the collar, chances are, i might knock out her teeth. Some women act like touts, there is so much a man can take before his loses his mind and goes Jet Li on you.

@OP
part of the problem lie in the fact that many of these miserable women would rather STAY with these abuser (for whatever BS reasons) instead of sending them to jail before divorcing their sorry behind....... and therefore it sends a very clear signal to these abusers. if a man knows you aint going to do shiit, then he will continue to oppress you.

PS marriage/children etc should NOT be a reason to stay in an abusive r/ship. anyone who think it does will have only themselves to blame when they end up 6feet under.

Some men learned at home that it is normal and / or have a problem with anger management.

Some women accept it because they also learned that it is normal and think that the man, as the head of the family, has the right to do so.
Other women have no place to go and no possibilities to take care of themselves and their kids so they also accept it.

My neighbour beats his wife always but things changed the day his younger brother visited and met him beating his pregnant wife with a belt, The younger brother gave him the beating of his life , the man was not even strong sef .And of course people supported the younger bro.

It's only COWARDS that beat their wives .

If you have no place to go and can't beat him, then arrange for him to be beaten with emphasis on crippling him, that way she gets to slap him on his wheel chair every morning before going off to hustle for food .


This applies only if you have not been locking him by the collars or telling him " ancient and mordern" .

beeevan: If you have no place to go and can't beat him, then arrange for him to be beaten with emphasis on crippling him, that way she gets to slap him on his wheel chair every morning before going off to hustle for food .


This applies only if you have not been locking him by the collars or telling him " ancient and mordern" .

@BOLD

ROFL

I like your strength and determination but life is not so simple.

Crippling the husband is not the solution to the problem, especially not if the woman hasn't got good chances in the labour market due to her poor education or lack of skills to successfully run a business.

carefreewannabe:




@BOLD

ROFL

I like your strength and determination but life is not so simple.

Crippling the husband is not the solution to the problem, especially not if the woman hasn't got good chances in the labour market due to her poor education or lack of skills to successfully run a business.

Who is talking of labour market? Didn't you read about the abacha woman that erected a building in her husband's name? Busy men barely do have the time to panel beat their wives, if they are upset, pick your keys and scram, go cool off. Chances are that the man in question is of little or no use even with his legs intact.


Some businesses do not need any educational skill, unless we are talking of a ret*ard here .

you should ask the other way round

beeevan:



Who is talking of labour market? Didn't you read about the abacha woman that erected a building in her husband's name? Busy men barely do have the time to panel beat their wives, if they are upset, pick your keys and scram, go cool off. Chances are that the man in question is of little or no use even with his legs intact.


Some businesses do not need any educational skill, unless we are talking of a ret*ard here .

If you are a mother of three little children and you have no cash to start a business, you will also have no time to get the cash together.
Just an example. What are you going to do? Live on the street with your kids?

carefreewannabe:

If you are a mother of three little children and you have no cash to start a business, you will also have no time to get the cash together.
Just an example. What are you going to do? Live on the street with your kids?

No parents, no relatives, no friends, no brothers, no sisters, no inlaws ,no savings and I threw my legs open to push out three tiny feets? No, I can't relate to this, what happens if the man was dead leaving unpaid bills behind?


No one is anybody's God, no human is indispensable. I will do exactly what I will do if the man was dead.

beeevan:



No parents, no relatives, no friends, no brothers, no sisters, no inlaws ,no savings and I threw my legs open to push out three tiny feets? No, I can't relate to this, what happens if the man was dead leaving unpaid bills behind?


No one is anybody's God, no human is indispensable. I will do exactly what I will do if the man was dead.

Like I said, I like your attidue but I disagree when you say that women accept it because they like it. Some women do, many women have no choice, few women are like you.


Have you never heard of women who are told by their OWN parents to go back to their husbands no matter what happened?

carefreewannabe:

Like I said, I like your attidue but I disagree when you say that women accept it because they like it. Some women do, many women have no choice, few women are like you.


Have you never heard of women who are told by their OWN parents to go back to their husbands no matter what happened?

I can't get the premises of your argument and I insist that some women see being battered as an expression of care and love.Oh yes, for anyone to sit and watch herself being battered on daily basis without doing any thing or whatsoever to stop it shows an acceptance.


Don't forget that the sentence " women accept it because they like it " was yours not mine or can you quote where I said it?The number that really do not have a choice are negligible and there is always a choice albeit an unpalatable one. There is no excuse for staying in an abusive relationship, none at all.

beeevan:



I can't get the premises of your argument and I insist that some women see being battered as an expression of care and love.Oh yes, for anyone to sit and watch herself being battered on daily basis without doing any thing or whatsoever to stop it shows an acceptance.


Don't forget that the sentence " women accept it because they like it " was yours not mine or can you quote where I said it?The number that really do not have a choice are negligible and there is always a choice albeit an unpalatable one. There is no excuse for staying in an abusive relationship, none at all.

You said: "If she isn't enjoying it, why is she still there?". The statement implies that women remain in abusive marriages because they like / enjoy it, doesn't it?

carefreewannabe:

You said: "If she isn't enjoying it, why is she still there?". The statement implies that women remain in abusive marriages because they like / enjoy it, doesn't it?

Subsequent posts should have thrown some light on that stance for you. Too tired for back and forth, have a nice day .

beeevan:



Subsequent posts should have thrown some light on that stance for you. Too tired for back and forth, have a nice day .

Never mind.

Because they can get away with it.(Most times)
There's no limit to what humans can do if they can get away with it.

Beacuse women marry and stay with such men, If no woman would marry or agree to stay and tolerate this they would stay alone or be forced to change.

Some men abuse women because some women enjoy it

MzMariah: My neighbour also beats his wife, its almost like an everyday thing now. Yesterday I told my mum that one day the woman will collapse because the rate at which he beats her, sometimes he beats her from night till morning. Its really sad.

Let your neighbour get her brothers or some guys to beat her husband to default settings.

His brain will come back to normal.

@OP:

They like it,
They want it,
They were trained to accept it
They need it

I am not in support of violent rships/ marriages.

OK bye!

Closet masochists.

underscrew: Today I saw a woman who had been beaten by her husband. Her face was swollen and she looked lonely nd dejected. I felt so sad.
So I thot to ask u guyz if you have ever known an abuser(personally), why do you think they beat their wives or gf?
p.s. I hope this thread is not interpreted as man-hating or man-bashing I just want to get some perspective bout the mind of men who beat their partners.

Am a survivor of domestic abuse.wife beaters has no excuse for their actions. No matter what.mine was naturally violent and aggressive and hitting me was his own way of communication.the last incidence wasn't too pleasant and it made me to make a descision of leaving with my baby girl.am happy I finally left coz I was loosing my mind and unhappy coupled with stress and worries.FYI he wasn't working and I did all my best to take care of him and baby still yet he wanted to aggessively proove to me that he is stil the head which I wasn't contesting coz I see us as one.

Am seprated from him now and am happy am alive to tell the story

Pls this is not just an issue to discuss and bash people. If individually we can take this upon ourselves to console those affected and where possible, talk to the husband to stop abusing his wife, at least lets do something, than locking ourselves in our own house and listening to the screams. The day I went to visit my sis and this guy was beating his wife like a dead cow, no one came to her rescue, when I confronted my sis, she said no one wants their problem, I couldnt sleep that night, I was crying and praying for the woman, I really felt useless. Pls I know its not always good to interfer but after the fight, we can try talking to both parties seperately.#justmyopinion

egopersonified: Pls this is not just an issue to discuss and bash people. If individually we can take this upon ourselves to console those affected and where possible, talk to the husband to stop abusing his wife, at least lets do something, than locking ourselves in our own house and listening to the screams. The day I went to visit my sis and this guy was beating his wife like a dead cow, no one came to her rescue, when I confronted my sis, she said no one wants their problem, I couldnt sleep that night, I was crying and praying for the woman, I really felt useless. Pls I know its not always good to interfer but after the fight, we can try talking to both parties seperately.#justmyopinion

Nice comment!

@bold

This is easier said than done.

Because Nigeria is a country with no Law,If you dare slap a lady here,You will be awarded 2 years in prison

egopersonified: Pls this is not just an issue to discuss and bash people. If individually we can take this upon ourselves to console those affected and where possible, talk to the husband to stop abusing his wife, at least lets do something, than locking ourselves in our own house and listening to the screams. The day I went to visit my sis and this guy was beating his wife like a dead cow, no one came to her rescue, when I confronted my sis, she said no one wants their problem, I couldnt sleep that night, I was crying and praying for the woman, I really felt useless. Pls I know its not always good to interfer but after the fight, we can try talking to both parties seperately.#justmyopinion

the reason why so many people dont do anything is because most of these deluded women would rise AGAINST you if/when you confront their abusers, and would give you cokc and bull stories as to "why they DESERVE the beating" bla bla bla or "he promise not to do it again" bla bla bla .

the only thing i can tell someone who is abused is you have to leave now before you end up dead, LETS GO!!!!! if that person does not want to leave that same day (for whatever BS reason) then i let them be.

Nawa o mr Brown. Long time. Where have you been. Its been ages since I saw your break light on nl.i thought you were a casualty of nl bomb blast. Good to see you again. How are you doing

MRbrownJAY: @OP
part of the problem lie in the fact that many of these miserable women would rather STAY with these abuser (for whatever BS reasons) instead of sending them to jail before divorcing their sorry behind....... and therefore it sends a very clear signal to these abusers. if a man knows you aint going to do shiit, then he will continue to oppress you.

PS marriage/children etc should NOT be a reason to stay in an abusive r/ship. anyone who think it does will have only themselves to blame when they end up 6feet under.

MRbrownJAY: @OP
part of the problem lie in the fact that many of these miserable women would rather STAY with these abuser (for whatever BS reasons) instead of sending them to jail before divorcing their sorry behind....... and therefore it sends a very clear signal to these abusers. if a man knows you aint going to do shiit, then he will continue to oppress you.

PS marriage/children etc should NOT be a reason to stay in an abusive r/ship. anyone who think it does will have only themselves to blame when they end up 6feet under.

God bless u for ur comment.u av said it all and am impressed

MRbrownJAY:
the reason why so many people dont do anything is because most of these deluded women would rise AGAINST you if/when you confront their abusers, and would give you cokc and bull stories as to "why they DESERVE the beating" bla bla bla or "he promise not to do it again" bla bla bla .
the only thing i can tell someone who is abused is you have to leave now before you end up dead, LETS GO!!!!! if that person does not want to leave that same day (for whatever BS reason) then i let them be.

Gbam. When they are sharing abuse sob stories they know better than to tag me. I CANNOT WASTE MY PITY ON ANY WOMAN WHO DOESNT PITY HERSELF

aisha2:
Gbam. When they are sharing abuse sob stories they know better than to tag me. I CANNOT WASTE MY PITY ON ANY WOMAN WHO DOESNT PITY HERSELF

Why na. You know sometimes it's the devil.