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Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day - Romance - Nairaland

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Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by serenityspot83(f): 12:53am On Sep 02, 2014
Pls I need opinions from serious minded folks.
One of my dear friend is getting married in a couple of months. We have been lesbian lovers from aeon years. However, she is getting married soon and we've been hardprsessed on whether she is obligated to let her fiance knows she is a lesbian for life, before the wedding day.
Pls note that;
1. They are so much in love. She can take a bullet for him .
2. Though he isnt as rich as she is, she adores and respect him to the moon and back. (She earns well over #500,000 basic monthly salary)
3. Sometime last year she caught him cheating with his ex, and we have verifiable proof that their estranged affair produced a daughter. His cousin told us last week.
4. Even after they did the introduction he hasn't opened up to her that he has a child out of wedlock. (She is still acting like she is oblivious of the truth, hoping he will be bold enough to come straight about it).
5. As of yesterday when I last spoke with her after the weddingcommittee of friends meeting, she is three weeks pregnant though i suspect she is opting for termination of pregnancy. . .cos the marriage committee of her church will insist on pregnancy test before the wedding day.
With all these complications , coupled with the fear of losing him and the stigma that will follow if he calls off the marriage as a result of her lesbian orientation, do you think I should encourage her to let him know she is a lesbian?
PLEASE , NO BASHING , I will IGNORE you if you come here preaching rubbish.

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by dulaman: 1:01am On Sep 02, 2014
...and I thought lesbian/gays are never attracted to the opposite sex?

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by serenityspot83(f): 1:05am On Sep 02, 2014
@'dulaman: wrong assumption. That's a fallacy premised upon an erroneously aasumptive generalization. I love my fiancé terribly yet I am a lesbian. I know a couple of women who though are lesbians yet love and adore their husbands unapologetically.

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by sigmundfreud(m): 1:11am On Sep 02, 2014
Following!
I think bisexual applies more to your friend than lesbian.
Aborting a baby because of a church committee ( often filled with adulterous hypocrites) is totally cruel!

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by naijaboiy: 1:15am On Sep 02, 2014
if she eventually marries her husband are you people still going to continue your lesbian sexcapades?? undecided

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by Nobody: 1:21am On Sep 02, 2014
Being a lesbian is OK for a guy that loves MouthAction, but I don't advice her telling him,cos being gay look pretty awful. As for the other issues I think she should not terminate the beautiful life she has in her stomach... Church committee shouldn't be an issue...

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by serenityspot83(f): 1:23am On Sep 02, 2014
sigmundfreud: Following!
I think bisexual applies more to your friend than lesbian.
Aborting a baby because of a church committee ( often filled with adulterous hypocrites) is totally cruel!

Like I said, I only "suspect". Not sure though. She never really said so but kept lamenting that her parents will be terribly disappointed if the marriage committee cancels the wedding on the ground of premarital conception. So I presumed she may opt for a termination. I just sent her a message asking her not to terminate it though. Ultimately its her choice. But pls what do u think is best as regards her lesbian secret being kept from him.
Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by Nobody: 1:23am On Sep 02, 2014
wow!!! This is supposed to b d best news a man like would luv to hear from my wife; that she does chicks too! I mean dats an automatic party for me anytime and anyday i want!! Just unfortunate the guy has skeletons he's hiding thereby leading to more complications for the poor girl.

My advice though; let her keep the pregnancy please. Screw dat church sh.it. I worked in a hospital lab and we did all dese pre marital tests and 60% of d women r always pregnant. That shouldn't stop d marriage. she should tell d guy about the lesbianism but it all depends on his reaction.

For me though if d guy's not happy and doesn't see d potential of having endless threesomes for d rest of his life, i feel sorry for him....just saying

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by serenityspot83(f): 1:24am On Sep 02, 2014
naijaboiy: if she eventually marries her husband are you people still going to continue your lesbian sexcapades?? undecided
Its none of your business.

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by naijaboiy: 1:26am On Sep 02, 2014
serenityspot83:
Its none of your business.
Then there is no use telling her husband...if you are going to continue,,then let it continue to be a secret...

No need for self-deceit undecided

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by Nobody: 1:32am On Sep 02, 2014
Why is she not asking about the child issue,i hope her boo isn't planning bigamy.... but I think it is late now too much marriage pressures..

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by serenityspot83(f): 1:33am On Sep 02, 2014
@uruba: fear is he may eventually find out and I don't want a situation where that will be a ground for marital crisis. I hate divorce and can't stand to see my bestie go thru that torturous road.

@ shockwave91: u jus crazy . Lol. U think a right thinking hubby will call for a 3,some with his wife's lesbian chic. That we are lesbians isn't tantamount to being perverts. I won't share my hubby with nobody.
I will see her hopefully on Thursday, hope to convince her against terminating the pregnancy. Her fiancee told her he supports whatever stance she takes on the pregnancy, though I may chat with him and prevail on him to take a clear stand to keep the baby.
Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by sigmundfreud(m): 1:34am On Sep 02, 2014
serenityspot83:

Like I said, I only "suspect". Not sure though. She never really said so but kept lamenting that her parents will be terribly disappointed if the marriage committee cancels the wedding on the ground of premarital conception. So I presumed she may opt for a termination. I just sent her a message asking her not to terminate it though. Ultimately its her choice. But pls what do u think is best as regards her lesbian secret being kept from him.
Its a relationship of mutual distrust...I won't tell if he does not open up on the child.

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by jennylove7575(f): 1:38am On Sep 02, 2014
I think there are some things that are better left undisclosed because of the uncertainty of the later consequences...I think she should wait awhile to achieve her purpose of entering into the marriage before disclosing it to the man.
Me I love dicck I can't be a lesbian. But if I were to become one, I well keep it secret and discreet. Away from my husband....

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by sigmundfreud(m): 1:44am On Sep 02, 2014
serenityspot83:
That we are lesbians isn't tantamount to being perverts. I won't share my hubby with nobody.
cheesy...lol on the "pervert"
Adjectives are relative.
Why marry a male then?

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by Nobody: 1:45am On Sep 02, 2014
jennylove7575: I think there are some things that are better left undisclosed because of the uncertainty of the later consequences...I think she should wait awhile to achieve her purpose of entering into the marriage before disclosing it to the man.
Me I love dicck I can't be a lesbian. But if I were to become one, I well keep it secret and discreet. Away from my husband....
I heard someone says relationship of mutual distrust,I think the lesbian issue can be fore gone because when she get pregnant her hormones might change her attraction, but the Child outside wedlock won't go away...but like I say it is too late

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by serenityspot83(f): 1:46am On Sep 02, 2014
@ sigmundfreud: I think he intends telling her cos as at ystday , she informed that he told her that he wasn't really cheating with his ex, but that he invited her over to his house to discuss something of great import and that he was gonna discuss something about it with her when he returns from Ilorin.
@ uruba : its more than pressure, she is over 35 and u know menopause is close. He is her first male lover. She has never loved or had sex with a man, never ever. So more like her first love(male I mean). So its just so hard on her. I got tears flowing down my cheeks. Sometimes I wish I could just marry her. (,but my fiance go kill me, lol). But for real, I rather she tells him and deal with it now.
Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by Nobody: 1:46am On Sep 02, 2014
serenityspot83: @uruba: fear is he may eventually find out and I don't want a situation where that will be a ground for marital crisis. I hate divorce and can't stand to see my bestie go thru that torturous road.

@ shockwave91: u jus crazy . Lol. U think a right thinking hubby will call for a 3,some with his wife's lesbian chic. That we are lesbians isn't tantamount to being perverts. I won't share my hubby with nobody.
I will see her hopefully on Thursday, hope to convince her against terminating the pregnancy. Her fiancee told her he supports whatever stance she takes on the pregnancy, though I may chat with him and prevail on him to take a clear stand to keep the baby.

awww....my heart just broke into uncountable pieces. I mean if my lesbian wife won't do a threeway wif me den is it my straight wifey dat would do it? It's not pervertion nah it's part of the grand spectacle of the sexual experience and u no it. Just wen i was begining to love lesbians and ur pic u've dashed my hopes.

Anyways about her pregnancy. She dare not touch dat zygote in her womb. F.uck wat dose church peeps say. She should keep it and try and have fun wif her marriage
Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by sigmundfreud(m): 1:50am On Sep 02, 2014
uruba:
I heard someone says relationship of mutual distrust,I think the lesbian issue can be fore gone because when she get pregnant her hormones might change her attraction, but the Child outside wedlock won't go away...but like I say it is too late
Lesbianism (homosexuality) does not go away...if hormones can correct it, then many will be on hormone replacement therapy.

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by RaphaellaDD(f): 1:53am On Sep 02, 2014
.

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by serenityspot83(f): 1:55am On Sep 02, 2014
jennylove7575: I think there are some things that are better left undisclosed because of the uncertainty of the later consequences...I think she should wait awhile to achieve her purpose of entering into the marriage before disclosing it to the man.
Me I love dicck I can't be a lesbian. But if I were to become one, I well keep it secret and discreet. Away from my husband....
Thanks Jenny, but what if he discovers in marriage and divorce her after my bestie would have had 3 children? Me I can't survive d pains of being a divorces single mother , coupled with the stigma and untold trauma upon my unborn children! No way!! Jenny, u can never tell, I love dicks too, my fiance is 6inches and I have dildoes but my lesbian chics are so tender and sensitive that I hit orgasmic levels with frequent squirting.

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by Nobody: 1:56am On Sep 02, 2014
sigmundfreud:
Lesbianism (homosexuality) does not go away...if hormones can correct it, then many will be on hormone replacement therapy.
Well both of them might end up loving the dick more and stop there other mutual game...gees her first dick and she got pregnant.. She is loving it already jare.
Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by Nobody: 1:57am On Sep 02, 2014
RaphaellaDD: Your friend and her fiancé shouldn't start a marriage built on lies. She should tell him now, and if he attempts to throw a tantrum, then she should let him know that she's aware of his 'wittle seclet" grin
Everybody got secret, but some secret better follow us to the grave

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by sigmundfreud(m): 2:03am On Sep 02, 2014
serenityspot83:
Thanks Jenny, but what if he discovers in marriage and divorce her after my bestie would have had 3 children? Me I can't survive d pains of being a divorces single mother , coupled with the stigma and untold trauma upon my unborn children!
If it means that much to you, perhaps you should sacrifice your alternate orientation for the relationship.

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by echobee(f): 2:03am On Sep 02, 2014
Hmmmmmmmm! lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by serenityspot83(f): 2:05am On Sep 02, 2014
s [quote author=shockwave91]
awww....my heart just broke into uncountable pieces. I mean if my lesbian wife won't do a threeway wif me den is it my straight wifey dat would do it?
Thanks lots. Your humorous comments help dry my tears here. Anyway, sorry for dashing ur hopes.
@ uruba: deal with it, we love our lesbian sex more than heterosexual sex with our male lovers. The both aren't mutually exclusive , u think?
@ RaphaellaDD : u just wrote out my thot and counsel to her ystday. Thanks sweetheart . luv u.

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by sigmundfreud(m): 2:12am On Sep 02, 2014
RaphaellaDD: Your friend and her fiancé shouldn't start a marriage built on lies. She should tell him now, and if he attempts to throw a tantrum, then she should let him know that she's aware of his 'wittle seclet" grin
Thought of this too but our society will forgive/even permits the guy's secret than the lady's. What if he decides to tell everybody?
Telling him depends on the kind of guy he is...liberal, adventurous, open-minded yes. Conservative, rigid and traditionally African... serious trouble!

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by serenityspot83(f): 2:13am On Sep 02, 2014
@'RaphaellaDD: hey dearie, just saw your pics. Ur hair-do is so so terrific. Guess I'm gonna take off mine and get to the beauty saloon and make a new hair exactly like yours. Babe, u sure got an angelic beauty. xoxo
Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by sigmundfreud(m): 2:15am On Sep 02, 2014
serenityspot83: @'RaphaellaDD: hey dearie, just saw your pics. Ur hair-do is so so terrific. Guess I'm gonna take off mine and get to the beauty saloon and make a new hair exactly like yours. Babe, u sure got an angelic beauty. xoxo
Ahem! lipsrsealed
I totally agree with you.

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by serenityspot83(f): 2:16am On Sep 02, 2014
sigmundfreud:
Thought of this too but our society will forgive/even permits the guy's secret than the lady's. What if he decides to tell everybody?
Telling him depends on the kind of guy he is...liberal, adventurous, open-minded yes. Conservative, rigid and traditionally African... serious trouble!

Wow! U sure got a critical and analytical mind. I told my auntie , who is a clinical psychologist in the UK, and u just voiced her line of thot. Thanks

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by Nobody: 2:21am On Sep 02, 2014
serenityspot83: @'RaphaellaDD: hey dearie, just saw your pics. Ur hair-do is so so terrific. Guess I'm gonna take off mine and get to the beauty saloon and make a new hair exactly like yours. Babe, u sure got an angelic beauty. xoxo
I hope u are not patronising her

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Re: Should She Confess To Her Fiance That She's an Active Lesbian Before Wedding Day by sigmundfreud(m): 2:27am On Sep 02, 2014
@PinkFlower...nice shoes.

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