Connected Hearts Daily Devotional (c) 2014
ROMANCE MAKEOVER: Impact of Unresolved Conflict 03


As a little boy of about 3, I was fascinated by the movie, 'Superman'. This made me consume every series my parents made available. The unfortunate thing was that I began to feel a false sense of superhuman abilities in me, which I eventually experimented by placing my tongue on a hot lamp. As a matter of fact, my parents never had to warn me about fire again. It hurt so much that the memory has stayed with me for decades.


The point here is that as humans, we are often motivated to take specific actions such as getting married, changing jobs, increasing our incomes, ending an abusive relationship, based on our desire to enjoy pleasure or avoid pain. This is why when couples find themselves in marriages where they often quarrel, verbally or physically assault each other, it gets to the point where they CLOSE their hearts, shutting out one another. At this point, the home becomes 'hell', where people 'have' to go to armed with their 'fighting gloves', others keep late nights, begin to waste on alcohol, flirt and cheat, in order to suppress their pain.


In a marriage like this, ROMANTIC feelings towards one another is practically non-existent because one's spouse becomes an opponent, no more a lover.


When conflicts are not properly managed, they evolve into a tornado of negative emotions over time which can ruin or uproot marriages.

ASSIGNMENT
Develop a policy never to use certain words in your home during disagreements, shut out each other when complaints are made, and to resolve conflicts ASAP, preferably before the next morning.

Courtesy Chidi and Victor Akunna
Foundation for Family Affairs

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