Here I come again with another story. Everyone was complaining my last one wasn't detailed enough so am gonna make dis one as descriptive as I can.
Don't complain if it's too narrative. You asked for it.

Following

Tell me something I don't know. Are you gonna abandon the first story?

D9ty7: Tell me something I don't know. Are you gonna abandon the first story?

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Nope. U write wen u get inspiration

Faint footsteps could be heard across the street despite her attempts to cover them. Rachel walked hurriedly home glancing back every 2 seconds to make sure she wasn't been followed.
Walking Gangster street at night was signing your own death sentence. But it was already 8:15pm. 15 minutes past her curfew and that was the shortest route to her house. She began to walk faster when she heard a sound like someone had mistakenly kicked something. She increased her pace. Meanwhile a boy had also turned at the sound. A boy that had been following her. He looked at her. She was fair with short black hair that just reached her neck and an oval face with a cute nose and beautiful eyes. But he was too far away to know the color.
Then something else caught his eye. He could see two silhouettes just behind her. His heart raced. He wanted to scream and tell her to run but that would give away his position. He was brought back to reality by her scream. He looked back and he was right. There were two of them. He weighed his options. With the way they were struggling to silence her, it was obvious they were inexperienced and he could take them down easily.

I may be wrong tho[quote
author=Crowny1]Faint footsteps could be heard across the street(,) despite
her attempts to cover them. Rachel walked hurriedly home glancing(looking) back
every 2 seconds to make sure she wasn't been followed.
Walking (on)Gangster street at night was signing your own death sentence.
But it was already 8:15pm. 15(Fifteen) minutes past her curfew. She began to walk
faster when she heard a sound like someone had mistakenly kicked
something. She increased her pace. Meanwhile a boy had also turned at
the sound. A(the) boy that had been following her. He looked at her. She had
short black hair that just reached her neck with a great shape(the description is not detailed enough). And she
was pretty. He couldn't see the color of her(I think it shoud be. He was unable to make out hercomplexion) [/quote]

D9ty7 post=/post/26823027:
I may be wrong tho

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Come on

D9ty7: I may be wrong tho

I have modified it. Check it out again

Happy Birthday to me nd all d October babies

Crowny1: Happy Birthday to me nd all d October babies

HBD

jaymomma:

HBD

Thank u

Happy Birthday to you dearie. Long life and prosperities. I pray that God grant you every of your heart desires. AMEN!!!

D9ty7: Happy Birthday to you dearie. Long life and prosperities. I pray that God grant you every of your heart desires. AMEN!!!

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Amen, Amen nd Amen

D9ty7: Happy Birthday to you dearie. Long life and prosperities. I pray that God grant you every of your heart desires. AMEN!!!

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So how do u see d modification

But what if more came. He saw the moonlights reflection on the knife so close to her neck. He took his chances. He had the element of surprise and they were down and unconscious in seconds. 'Are you okay? ' He asked her concerned.
She was dazed for a few seconds before looking at him. He was tall. Probably 6ft2. With eyes like the sea before a storm. And deep black hair with pink lips and a nose that suited his face perfectly and... 'Rachel what is wrong with you? ' she reprimanded as she struggled to get herself together.
He helped her up and offered to walk her home to which she readily accepted. They walked on in silence for a few minutes before he broke it. 'I'm James.' He said extending his hand. 'Rachel' she replied taking it. 'So what caused you to look for death?' He asked simply. 'Excuse me?' she said looking at him in surprise. 'Let me rephrase. Is your life that miserable that you decided to end it by walking the most dangerous street in Lagos alone at night.'
'No. My life is not miserable and no am not trying to end it. I was late for my curfew and that is the shortest route to my home.' she said pointing at a Duplex down the corner as they had left Gangster Street behind.
' Oh. So you were that desperate'. He asked again. 'Yes!'. She said shaking with rage. ' Ok. I didn't mean that as an insult.' He said smiling. She looked at him and wondered how one who was so close to death could be so calm. 'Well he wasn't the one with a knife to his throat.' she thought stealing another look at him through the corner of her eyes.

Madam, you really need to improve on your description. I think you left out a few things; how did James manage to save her from those guys and what happened to them?. We really need the details on what transpired that night.
Again, I think you shouldn't just abandon 'Boarding Girls', all you have to do is work on it and you will get it right. Remember the questions I asked you at the begining of 'Boarding Girls'? Research more and know that in writing, description is very powerful and essential.
How you dy?

Nice work crowny! slow and steady wins the race.

Good writing. You need to pay closer attention to the small matters, though. Let me do a medium-level edit of your first post to illustrate what I mean.

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Faint footsteps could be heard across the street despite her attempts to cover [muffle]1 them. Rachel walked hurriedly home[,] glancing back every 2[two] 2 seconds to make sure she wasn't been[being]3 followed.
Walking Gangster street[Street] at night was signing your own death sentence. But it was already 8:15pm.[replace with a comma] 15 minutes past her curfew and that was the shortest route to her house. She began to walk faster when she heard a sound like someone had mistakenly kicked something. She increased her pace. [this is a bland repetition] Meanwhile a boy had also turned at the sound. A boy that had been following her. He looked at her. She was fair with short black hair that just reached her neck and an oval face with a cute nose and beautiful eyes. But he was too far away to know the color.
Then something else caught his eye. He could see two silhouettes just behind her. His heart raced. He wanted to scream and tell her to run but that would give away his position. He was [was soon] brought back to reality by her scream. He looked back and he was right. There were two of them. He weighed his options. With the way they were struggling to silence her, it was obvious they were inexperienced [amateurs] and he could take them [the both of them] down easily.

____________
1. You cover the marks made by your footsteps. You muffle the sound made by them.
2. Always spell out zero to nine. Spell out all figures whenever they occur at the beginning of a sentence.
3. The continuous verb "being" is used when expressing an action as it was taking place. The past participle "been" is used when expressing an action in terms of its being past or completed. Rule of thumb: "Being" is normally preceded by the auxiliary "to be" (am, is, was, were), while "been" is usually preceded by the auxiliary have (has, have, had).

Writeditor:
Good writing. You need to pay closer attention to the small matters, though. Let me do a medium-level edit of your first post to illustrate what I mean.

*

Faint footsteps could be heard across the street despite her attempts to cover [muffle]1 them. Rachel walked hurriedly home[,] glancing back every 2[two] 2 seconds to make sure she wasn't been[being]3 followed.
Walking Gangster street[Street] at night was signing your own death sentence. But it was already 8:15pm.[replace with a comma] 15 minutes past her curfew and that was the shortest route to her house. She began to walk faster when she heard a sound like someone had mistakenly kicked something. She increased her pace. [this is a bland repetition] Meanwhile a boy had also turned at the sound. A boy that had been following her. He looked at her. She was fair with short black hair that just reached her neck and an oval face with a cute nose and beautiful eyes. But he was too far away to know the color.
Then something else caught his eye. He could see two silhouettes just behind her. His heart raced. He wanted to scream and tell her to run but that would give away his position. He was [was soon] brought back to reality by her scream. He looked back and he was right. There were two of them. He weighed his options. With the way they were struggling to silence her, it was obvious they were inexperienced [amateurs] and he could take them [the both of them] down easily.

____________
1. You cover the marks made by your footsteps. You muffle the sound made by them.
2. Always spell out zero to nine. Spell out all figures whenever they occur at the beginning of a sentence.
3. The continuous verb "being" is used when expressing an action as it was taking place. The past participle "been" is used when expressing an action in terms of its being past or completed. Rule of thumb: "Being" is normally preceded by the auxiliary "to be" (am, is, was, were), while "been" is usually preceded by the auxiliary have (has, have, had).

Wow r u an English professo or what.

Crowny1:

Wow r u an English professo or what.

I'm a professional editor.

Writeditor:

I'm a professional editor.

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Kul

'Well James.' she said extending her hand to him, 'It was a pleasure meeting you'. 'The pleasure is mine.' He replied. They shook hands for a few seconds before she headed for her house. Walking up her driveway, she said a quick prayer before knocking on the door.
Her sister opened it and everyone was seated and she needed no soothsayer to tell her she was the reason for that. 'where are you coming from?', Her father barked as she walked in and her sister shut the door. 'I went to the Basketball game.' she said looking at her sister for help. 'Jasmine went to the same game and she came back an hour ago.' her father said not convinced.
'I was waiting for Sophie', She mumbled. 'To your room now. And you're grounded for a week.' her father said angrily. She ran up stairs happily. Glad there wasn't any more scolding. There was a knock on her door a few seconds later and her sister came in and lay on the bed beside her. 'I could have done with a little help back there Jazz.' she said feigning annoyance.
'Sorry I couldn't do more', Jasmine said feigning sleep. 'Couldn't do more! Jasmine you did nothing!', Rachel exclaimed. 'That depends on your definition of nothing.', Jasmine replied.
'How many definitions of Nothing do we have?', Rachel asked. 'Two mainly. The first is doing nothing that puts the person in more trouble, And the second is doing nothing that actually helps to bring the person out of trouble'. Jasmine replied.
'And you did the second?' Rachel asked. 'Yep', Jasmine said

Oh..dat a gud write up...keep it up..ma advice z dat u nid 2 gt improve in ur description