At a point in life we all have to look in the mirror. Some do so to check up on how the outfit they chose to wear looks on them while others look into mirrors to see how close they look to a certain icon they hope to resemble. The latter is not an issue that is gender based as it cuts across both corners of the human race. The end result to comparing oneself to an image is always depressing because no matter how hard you try, you can only perfectly look like yourself.

You might be of the opinion that you do not have an image that you aspire to look like but deep down you know you do. The only problem is that the image isn’t really a person but different elements that you have been gradually brainwashed into thinking are paramount in achieving the perfect image. The perfect example is skin complexion.

Since childhood you have most likely been exposed to images of protagonists appearing brighter and lighter than their antagonists. You suddenly see the antagonist getting favour and attention for no explained reason and your mind rationalises that the only physical difference is skin tone. Suddenly, you desire a brighter skin tone. This little exposure has led to the cosmetics industry making billions of dollars annually on skin whiting products and thousands of people managing one form of skin cancer or the other. Have you asked yourself if a light complexion actually makes a person beautiful?

We have also been exposed to another brand of exposure which we often cannot escape; racial inferiority. Before you go off thinking you are not a victim of that, touch your hair. Of all the races that exist on this planet all but one have silky hair at different lengths. You are most likely in the race without that hair type. So is the hair on your head a reflection of your race or is it of another race? Once more this isn’t gender sensitive topic but let’s face it, guys also perm their hair so that it will look flat and wavy (African hair is woolly). Why go through the pains of looking like you are from another race when you have your own race? What’s wrong with an afro? What is wrong with braiding or plaiting? Must you spend thousands trying to look like you came from somewhere else?

Let’s consider another issue that we often bother with that doesn’t really mean much; physical features. Due to environmental factors and cultural influences a big weight battle is going on and I find it very amusing. I am sure by now you are aware of the “lekpa and orogbo” dichotomy of physical features. To be attractive you should be one or the other. To make matters worse, members on one group despise members of the other. That was before a new standard was brought to life; the location of one’s endowment. Once more this issue is genderless. The only way I can look at someone’s weight as a point of concern is when it borders on unhealthy. This is the thing, your musical celebrities need to keep fit so as to dance and move to the different beats that accompany their music. That is also true about actors. The stay fit because they want to maintain a level of flexibility in obtaining roles. Go and search for images of actors you haven’t seen in a long while and see the real body they are comfortable with…you will be surprised. Why are you worrying that one element of your body isn’t as large as you would like? Do you think that’s how your body will stay forever? Are you sure that in the future you will not be working towards trying to get back this same physique you are looking down on? If what you see doesn’t look healthy, why aren’t you making healthier choices in life?

If you are looking at the mirror and you don’t like what you are seeing then maybe you just need to dress it up differently. You have to accept the fact that not everyone looks good in certain outfits. Don’t force yourself into the wrong one. You will in most cases look desperate. Embrace the YOU in the mirror and take care of it, that’s the best relationship you can have.

Finally, do not be afraid of not being attractive to the crowd. A crowd can never make you feel special, when you take good care of yourself and the joy that comes from doing so radiates from you, you will attract the one person who will want to be the special one for you. If you want to compare yourself to someone; why not the person looking back at you in the mirror?

Great, where is my mirror?