comparison with others
Comparison is the act of
evaluating personal self worth in
terms of others.comparing
yourself with others is very much
good only within a certain
proportion at which you are able to
spring positively .
However most people get into
comparison resulting to self pity
at the end. This very attitude
should be extremely examine in
order to have peaceful daily living
as this may result to suicide “You
shouldn't compare yourself to
others!”,
people might tell you.
Of course, without an explanation
this is
about as good advice as “Just be
yourself!” or
“Just be more confident!”.
Most likely it will not help at all.
So, why shouldn’t we compare
ourselves to
others?
One reason is that there is always
someone –
or more likely, a bunch of folks –
better than
you.
If you focus your mind to
compare your life to
other people´s lives you will
always find
someone new above you. And
your self-
esteem will take a beating.
If you get a nicer car to feel better
compared
to Bill Patterson next door and you
will feel
satisfied for a while. The next day,
on you
way to work, you notice that the
guy who's
always out walking his poodle at
weekends
has an even sweeter ride than
you.
And if you buy a better car than
him six
months later then you will soon
notice that
the Amberson kid around the
corner has
made millions via some internet-
contraption
and now drives a Koenigsegg to
school.
One of the big reasons we
compare our lives
is to get approval. And in general I
think that
wanting approval from others is a
big obstacle
in both personal growth and living
a happy
life. We may want the neighbours,
friends
etc. to think/say: “Did you see
that new car/
swimming-pool/shoes? It is the
coolest on the
block. S/he´s is moving up in the
world”.
A problem with comparing
yourself to others
and wanting approval from them
is that you
let others control how you feel in
life. You feel
bad when you are saving for the
new car. You
feel great when you finally have
gotten
enough money to drive it home.
And then you
feel bad again when you see that
someone
else has an even finer automobile.
It´s a bit like being puppet and
having other
people pulling the strings. They
limit you
movements and your life. You
might have
some movement but the strings
controls
which way you are going.
How to gain that inner freedom
The thing about lessening your
need for
approval is that you have give up
both
positive and negative approval.
They are
connected because when if you
no longer
crave positive cheers and approval
from
people then you will no longer
have fears of
not getting that approval either.
When you really start to give it up
– which
might have to be done over time
and with
patience as your ego probably will
want to
snap back to seeking that sweet,
sweet
approval – you start to realise that
neither of
them are that important. They are
really only
as important as you decide they
are. You are
what you think you are and the
world is what
you think it is.
Another way to free yourself is to
put in some
massive, drastic action. Like,
instead of
driving your car, starting to ride a
bicycle to
work. This could catapult you right
into
disapproval and let you move
outside your
comfort zone quickly. When you
first move
out of your comfort zone it is
uncomfortable.
But after a while you get used to it
and the
discomfort starts to dissipate.
If you try this method you may
discover that
people don´t care as much as you
feared –
maybe they are busy worrying
about their
own problems and what others
may think of
them. Or you can find that youÂ
´ve had a
positive effect on others. Next
week maybe
you are not the only one riding a
bicycle to
work.
A third way is one I´ve
discovered recently
though Eckhart Tolle´s dvd “The
Flowering
of Human Consciousness”. It´s a
bit counter-
intuitive but bear with me.
Whenever you feel some feeling
you don´t
want to feel, like neediness for
approval from
someone then don´t struggle
with this
feeling. Don´t try and keep it
out. Then it
will just be further entangled in
your mind
and possibly even strengthened.
Instead, accept the feeling. Say
yes to it.
Surrender and let it in.
Observe the feeling in your mind
and body
without judging it. If you just let it
in and
observe it for maybe a minute or
two
something wonderful happens.
The feeling
just vanishes. Yeah, I know, it
sounds weird
but give it a try.
The funny thing is when you no
longer need
approval from others, when you
stop
comparing yourself to others you
will have a
greater inner freedom to do what
you want.
You will notice positive
opportunities in your
life that wasn´t there before.
And, as usual, don´t feel too bad
or beat
yourself up if you snap back to
wanting
approval. Just get back on track
the next day,
keep it up and gradually you will

Incase

[quote author=Feranmicharles post=27435592]Anything fit make FP make I sha book space

Let us greet the OP. Weldone from me to you. #OkuOriReRe..thnks bro,you know the feel that you begin to compare yourself with others instead of appreciating yourself..!

[quote author=eblazer post=27443061][/quote] wetin u mean sef?