Sometimes, dogs get impatient with our mixed signals.
Don't you want to do better? (Photo: Hannamariah /
Shutterstock)
Dogs try to be our best friends, but boy do we ever
make it difficult sometimes. Here are some of the things
we do that might make dogs question whether they
want to remain best buds or cut ties completely

1.Using words more than body language
We’re a vocal species. We love to chatter away, even at
our pets , who can’t understand the vast majority of
what we’re saying. Dogs might be able to deduce what a
few key words mean — walk, treat, toy, off — and maybe
even learn hundreds of words as some border collies
have done. But they can’t understand human language.
What they rely on to figure out what we mean is our
body language. Dogs have evolved to be expert readers
of the human body and can figure out what you’re
thinking and feeling before you even realize you’re
thinking and feeling it. But we can easily send mixed
signals if we are only paying attention to what our
mouths are saying and not what our bodies are saying.
If you go to any beginning dog training class , you’ll see
plenty of people saying one thing, doing another, and a
confused dog trying to figure out what in the world is
wanted of them. For instance, telling a dog to “stay”
while leaning forward toward the dog and holding out a
hand like a traffic cop is, in body language, actually
inviting the dog to come toward you. But when the dog
does, she gets reprimanded for breaking her stay
command. It’s all so confusing!
A great experiment (and something that will probably
have your dog sighing with relief) is to try to spend a
whole day not saying a word to your dog, but
communicating only with your body. You’ll realize just
how much you “talk” with your body without realizing it,
how to use your movements and body position to get
the response you need from your dog during training,
and how involved a conversation can be without emitting
a single sound.

2.Hugging your dog
While you might love wrapping your arms around a furry
canine friend, most dogs hate hugs . We as primates think
hugs are awesome and express support, love, joy and
other emotions through hugs. It’s totally normal to us
to wrap our arms around something and squeeze, and it
only means good things. But dogs did not evolve this
way. Canids don’t have arms and they don’t hug. Rather
than camaraderie, if a dog places a foreleg or paw on the
back of another dog, this is considered an act of
dominance. No matter your intentions with hugging, a
dog is hardwired to view the act of hugging as you
exerting your dominance. Many dogs will tolerate it with
grace — the smiling face of the family golden retriever
with a child’s arms wrapped around it comes to mind.
But some dogs will feel threatened, fearful, or just flat
out loathe the feeling — and in fact, a child grabbing a
dog for a hug is why many dog bites occur. Also, the
same dog that enjoys one person's hug might react
entirely differently with another family member who tries
the same thing. You'd be hard-pressed to find a dog
that actually enjoys or seeks out hugs.
This dog is barely tolerating a hug from the little girl.
Everything about the tense mouth, eyes and ears say
that this is not something the dog is enjoying, and this
is a potential safety issue for the little girl. (Photo: Dwight
Smith/Shutterstock)
If you’re wondering if your dog hates your hugs, just
pay attention to her body language when you go in for a
cuddle. Does she tense up? Lean her head away from
you? Avoid even a hint of eye contact? Lick her lips?
Keep her mouth closed? Pull her ears back against her
head? All of these are signs that a dog is uncomfortable.
Yes, even the dog licking her lips while someone snuggles
her is not showing that she is overcome with love, it is
showing submissive, even nervous behavior. So next time
you want to go in for a hug, pay very close attention to
whether or not the dog is okay with it. After all, you’re
putting your face right next to a set of sharp teeth.

3.Petting a dog's face or patting her head
Do you like to be patted on the head? My guess is no.
Having someone reach out and tap us on the head, no
matter how lovingly, is not something most of us enjoy.
It’s annoying at best and painful at worst. And we really
don’t want the hands of strangers reaching toward our
face. If someone were to reach their hand toward your
face, I’m guessing your reaction would be to pull your
head back and lean away, and get a little tense about the
invasion of personal space. Yet most humans think that
dogs like being patted on the head. The reality is that
while many dogs will put up with this if it’s someone they
know and trust, most dogs don’t enjoy it. You may
notice that even the loving family dog might lean away
slightly when you reach for her face to pet her. She’ll let
you because you’re the boss, but she doesn't like it. It’s
a personal space issue for dogs just as much as it is for
us. This is why responsible parents teach their children
to gently pet a dog’s back or rear, but don’t pat, and
definitely don’t go for the dog's face. If you really want
to reward your dog for being awesome, don’t bang on
their head, but give them a rub on their rear end right
by the tail. They’ll thank you for it!

4.Walking up to a strange dog while looking her in the eye
We all know how powerful eye contact is.
While we view
steady eye contact as important, as a sign of
trustworthiness or focus, we have to also be aware that
eye contact can feel unnerving, uncomfortable and
domineering. It’s creepy when a stranger looks us in the
eye without breaking contact, especially as they’re
approaching. It’s clear their attention is zeroed in, but
what is their intention? We have to read the rest of their
face for the cues. Eye contact is part of establishing
dominance for many species, and in humans, we can use
the tiniest of details about the rest of the face — the
softness or hardness of the muscles around the eyes and
mouth — to determine if the stare is friendly or not. And
even then, it’s still creepy to have a stranger stare at us!
It feels the same way for dogs. When you look a strange
dog right in the eye, unblinking, you might be smiling
and trying to warm up to them but the dog is probably
reading it as an act of dominance or even aggression.
They might display a submissive response — looking
away, doing a little wiggle for pets, rolling over onto
their backs — or they might start backing up and
barking. Either way, for most dogs, a stranger looking it
right in the eye while approaching is not a comfortable
situation.
If you want to say hello to a new dog in a way that is
comfortable for both of you, approach with your body
angled slightly (not with your shoulders squared toward
the dog), your eyes slightly averted, and speak quietly
with a gentle voice. All these body language cues of
friendship will help a dog understand you mean no harm.
The dog might still want nothing to do with you, but at
least you didn’t approach in a scary way that could
cause a defensive or aggressive reaction.

5.Not providing structure and rules
Dogs want, need, and love having rules. You might think
having strict rules makes life boring or unhappy for your
dog. But dogs really want to know what’s what
according to their leader. And really, it’s not so hard to
relate as humans. Children thrive when they have a
consistent set of rules to follow, and they do less well in
environments that provide them a free-for-all. Think
about polite, well-balanced kids you know, and the
spoiled kids who lack social skills or throw temper
tantrums when they don’t get what they want. Which set
of kids are the ones with consistently enforced rules and
boundaries? And which set tends to be most consistently
happy? With dogs, it’s pretty much the same thing. Rules
make life a lot more predictable, a lot less confusing and
a lot less stressful.
And speaking of confusing, dogs don’t understand
exceptions to rules. They don’t understand that they’re
allowed to jump on you when you have leisure clothes on
but not when you have work clothes on. They don’t
understand that they’re allowed on the couch after a
bath but not after coming in from a romp in the mud.
Additionally, saying “No” for breaking a rule but not
actually doing something to help the dog stop the
behavior and learn the rule doesn’t count as
enforcement. Dogs thrive when they know where the
boundaries are, and when you spend time enforcing
consistent boundaries with positive rewards, you also are
building up their trust in you as a leader. You’re setting
up conditions for a very happy dog!

6.Forcing your dog to interact with dogs or people she
clearly doesn’t like
Just like so many other social species, dogs have their
favorite friends and their enemies. It is easy to see what
other dogs — and people, for that matter — that a dog
wants to hang out with and those with whom she’d
rather not associate. Yet, there are a lot of dog owners
who go into denial about this or simply fail to read the
cues their dog is giving them. It is common for overly
enthusiastic owners to push their dog (sometimes
literally) into social situations at dog parks when their
dog would rather just go home . Or they allow strangers
to pet their dog even when she is showing clear signs of
wanting to be left alone.
It is important to note that there is a difference between
positive encouragement with shy, fearful, or reactive
dogs. Taking small steps to encourage them out of their
comfort zone and giving them rewards for any amount
of calm, happy social behavior is important to helping
them live a balanced life. But knowing the difference
between gentle, rewards-based boundary pushing and
forcing an interaction is vital to your dog's safety and
sanity. When dogs are pushed too far in social situations,
they’re more likely to lash out with a bite or a fight.
They’ve given cue after cue — ignoring, avoiding, maybe
even growling — and finally they’ve had enough and give
the clearest message of all with their teeth. What is
possibly even worse, is that their trust in you as a
protective leader is eroded, and they have an even more
negative association with a park, a certain dog or person,
or a general social setting. So do your dog a favor: read
the body language she gives you when she doesn’t want
to be around certain other individuals and don’t force it.

7.Going for walks without opportunity to explore and
smell
There are walks, and there are walks. It’s definitely
important to have a dog that knows how to walk
obediently on a leash. However, it’s also important to
allow a dog to have some time to explore her
surroundings while walking obediently on a leash. Dogs
see with their noses, and they place as much importance
on their sense of smell as we humans place on our sense
of vision for interpreting the world around us. It’s
probably safe to say that dogs appreciate the smell of a
tree trunk the way we appreciate a beautiful sunset.
Dogs loathe not being able to take in their world for at
least a few minutes a day, and too often we humans are
focused on going on walks for the sole purpose of
exercise or potty breaks. We trudge along the same old
route, often without any variety or sense of leisure, and
in too much of a hurry to get back home again.
The sense of smell is how a dog takes in the world, and
sometimes they're simply desperate for a chance to take
a good sniff. (Photo: Csehak Szabolcs /Shutterstock)
Do your dog a favor and dedicate one of your daily walks
to having a "smell walk" — going slow and letting your
dog take in the world with her nose. Go somewhere
entirely new, explore a different neighborhood or trail,
let your dog sniff at a spot until she gets her fill, even if
it's for minutes at a time before moving forward. For
helping your dog know the difference between a walk
where she should be obedient and stay beside you, and
a walk where she is free to explore, you can have a
special backpack or harness that you use only for smell
walks. Just make sure it is something very different from
your usual collar and leash set-up so the different
purpose for the walk is obvious to your dog. These walks
are a wonderful opportunity for your dog to get some of
the mental and sensory stimulation that keeps life
interesting for her.

8.Keeping a tight leash, literally
Just as dogs are amazing at reading our body language,
they’re amazing at reading our tension levels even
through the leash. By keeping a tight leash on a dog,
you’re raising the level of stress, frustration, and
excitement for your dog, and conversely, for you. I know
what you might be thinking: “I don’t want to hold a
tight leash, but I have to. My dog is the one pulling, not
me!” But this is why it is so important to teach a dog
how to walk on a slack leash.
An amazing amount of energy is transferred between
you and your dog through that little strip of canvas or
leather. By keeping a loose leash, you’re letting your dog
know that everything is fine and dandy, that there’s no
reason to be worried or tense. With a slack leash you’re
saying to your dog that you are calm and have
everything under control so your dog is free to be calm
as well. On the other hand, by keeping a tight leash
you’re sending a message to your dog that you’re
tense, nervous, on alert, ready to fight or fly, and your
dog responds in kind. Just as you don’t like your dog
pulling you around, it doesn’t feel good to your dog to
constantly be pulled and thus cued to be on alert.
They’re also well-aware that they can’t get away from
you even if they think they need to. A dog that walks on
a tight leash is more apt to bark or be reactive in even
the most mild of social situations. But a dog that can
walk on a slack leash is more likely to be calm. This is a
difficult thing to master, and something the majority of
dog owners can commiserate about, but it is so
important to having pleasant walks with a relaxed dog.

9.Being tense
Tension on the leash isn’t the only way a dog can pick up
how you’re feeling. You can tell when a person you’re
around is feeling tense, even if you don’t realize it. Dogs
have the same ability. The more stressed and wound-up
you are, the more stressed and wound-up your dog is.
And dogs, just like us, don’t like that feeling. You might
roll your eyes, but the next time your dog is acting
frustrated and tense, check in with yourself — have you
been feeling that way for the last few minutes, for the
last few hours, or the last few days? Your dog might just
be acting as your mirror. If you need a reason to
meditate, helping your dog calm down is a great one.

10.Being boring
You know that feeling of being stuck hanging around
someone who is totally boring? Think back: remember
having to be with your parents while they ran grown-up
errands? None of which revolved around a toy store or
park, of course. Remember that feeling of barely being
able to contain yourself, of wanting to squirm and groan
and complain. You couldn't take part in the adult
conversation, which was boring anyway, and you were
told to sit still and hush. But oh boy did you ever want
to just moooove! Just run around the block or
something to break the monotony. That's how your dog
feels when you're busy being that boring grown-up.
Dogs abhor it when we're boring. And it's hard not to
be! We get home from work and we want to unwind, to
get a few chores done, to make dinner and sack out on
the couch and relax. But that's about the most annoying
thing we could do to our dogs who have been waiting
around all day for us to finally play with them.
If your dog is making trouble — getting into boxes or
closets, eating shoes or chewing on table legs — she's
basically showing you just how incredibly bored she is.
Luckily, there is a quick and easy solution to this:
training games. Teaching your dog a new trick, working
on old tricks, playing a game of "find it" with a favorite
toy, or going out and using a walk as a chance to work
on urban agility, are all ways to stimulate both your
dog's mind and body. An hour of training is worth a
couple hours playing a repetitive game of fetch in terms
of wearing a dog out. While of course exercise and walks
are important, adding in some brain work will make your
dog happy-tired. Even just 15-30 minutes of trick
training a day will make a big difference.

11.Teasing
This should be obvious, and we won't spend too much
time on it. But it's worth pointing out because too many
people still think it’s funny. Don't bark at a dog as you
pass it on the street. Don't wave or talk to a dog that is
barking at you from behind a window or door. Don't pull
on a dog's tail. The list can go on and on, but in short,
don't do something you know makes a dog mad just
because you think it's funny. It's not funny to the dog
and can lead to some serious behavioral problems —
and, perhaps deservedly, you getting to sport some new
dog-shaped teeth marks.

Nice thread but what of the people that eats dog meat, did the dogs have a way of hating them?

Nice one, op.

OP, Are you a dog?

Wonderful!
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Op, you forget to put "Sauce"