TABLET Of THOUGHTs - Poems For Review - Nairaland
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| TABLET Of THOUGHTs by ahika(m): 1:41pm On Nov 10, 2014 |
It's been a long since I visited literature section and I never knew there was an enclave for Poets. And I've been looking for where (online platform) to collaborate all my written poems- fb is there but it doesn't suit my taste. Although I'm not yet in the league of Pen Lords but with time my pen will begin to shout out loud. Critiques are highly welcomed. In fact I need your contributions, analyses and critics more than I need air  . |
| Re: TABLET Of THOUGHTs by ahika(m): 1:56pm On Nov 10, 2014 |
This is my first poem (in life). I wrote it when I was less busy in the classroom where I teach and it speaks of my mood at that moment- even up to this moment. I was trying to speak for the courses which Nigerians have termed as minority courses and courses for never-do-wells. Read, feel the pain and be motivated.... LAMENTATION FOR A COURSE If everyone was to be No one will be free If all wants to be a doc Then I believe the world will suck If everyone yearns for law Then it is certain the nation will crawl The people have shut their mind My own have become parochial Nobody wants to tell the child That life is about pursueing our desire Oh My profession! they have given you forceful sabbatical You have been murdered by fanaticals They have made you grow wild Those who know the truth have made it mild Who will rescue you from the oppression of mediocres hmm.... I weep for the future. Dedicated to all Educationists. Copyright- Ahika 5 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: TABLET Of THOUGHTs by ahika(m): 4:10pm On Nov 11, 2014 |
This was composed some days ago while I was at home complaining bitterly of the sheer infamy of Power holders. It addresses the epileptic power supply in Nigeria. It goes on to tell how passive we're to advocate for our rights. Read and be inspired.. POWER AND THE PEOPLE Here they come with their ladders, pliers in hand and gloves of rubber. They say they are here to collect what isn't theirs They say we owe them what they owe us. Our phones have gone hungry all thanks to them, power today is as the coming of Christ. Out of the abundance of their heart do we receive what is ours and sometimes I begin to wonder if our voice have gone sour. Nobody is ready to call them to order, no committee has consider it fit to go ballistic on them, yet we go with the mantra ''e go better''. They distribute half third of the required amount of power for the passing week of the month to entice the gullible masses and the masses never fails to succumb to the duplicity of these profiteers with the chanting of ''up NEPA!'' and paying of exhorbitant bills. When will my people resist this intermittent temptation, this cloying tactics? When will we say No! And start paying according to the percentage of power used? When will we wash this cataract that has made us myopic ignoramuses? Agonizing on the sheer infamy of these profiteers won't solve this reoccuring day-light robbery. Who will bell the cat won't be our deus ex machina Who will drive the cart won't save us. One voice One action One determination will! Copyright- Ahika Note: Critiques are welcomed. Pls do share your views. |
| Re: TABLET Of THOUGHTs by noble4d(m): 6:06pm On Nov 11, 2014 |
Well done bro....but be careful with your dictions and use of punctuations. On the power and the people, I could easily picture the image and mood of the poet. The poet emphasized on the ill- promises the Government gives to its people. The people were deceived by the blind largesse of the people in power. In the last three stanzas, I could strongly feel the mood of the poet using the tone of anxiety to portray his feelings. I would have love it more if the poet had structure the poem beautifully. Maybe, five quatrains to explain the ill fated promises of the government and a villanelle to close the poem with warnings and advice for the people. noble cares  |
| Re: TABLET Of THOUGHTs by ahika(m): 6:51pm On Nov 11, 2014 |
noble4d:wow! You see what a laymam wouldn't see. Your analysis goes deep deeper dn Atlantic. At first, I was trying to lampoon Nepa. Bt at d end of the write up, I saw dt, Power(NEPA) could be a metaphor for the government. And I'll admit, the structure of the poem is malnurished (with time I'll blend). As for the villanelle. Pls elucidate this term sir Tnx vewi much, I appreciate d contribution. |
| Re: TABLET Of THOUGHTs by noble4d(m): 12:14am On Nov 12, 2014 |
ahika: Writing a villanelle is a bit difficult but there is no harm in trying. Villanelle is a nineteen-line poem with two repeating rhymes and two refrains. The form is made up of five tercets followed by a quatrain. The first and third lines of the opening tercet are repeated alternately in the last lines of the succeeding stanzas; then in the final stanza, the refrain serves as the poem's two concluding lines. Writing a precise villanelle is challenging. To reduce stress and time, you can as well close the poem with three sestet and a couplet. I shall introduce villanelle in my next lesson... Just visit the link in my signature. noble cares |
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