1- The perpetual late comer: This one has
an obsession with being noticed. She
always 'majestically' dogwalks( not
catwalk) into the church right in the
middle of the service, swinging her small
but 'standard' bumbum, head held high,
and proceeds straight to the front row.
Her 'long walk to freedom' most times
succeeds in destabilizing the pious and
godly 'Brothers in the Lord', who now
have a hard time concentrating on 'Manna
from above'. She is usually young, pretty,
and very much a busybody. *marieolae*
2- The Extremely Gorgeous Chorister : This
one is dropdead pretty, has an angelic
voice, and is the church's golden girl. At
times, she also leads praise and worship
sessions. Her 'ministration' is most likely to
lead a man to hell than heaven. Watching
her 'dance to the Lord' is like watching
soft Indecency.. It can cause a guy an
embarrassing Attention right there in the
House of The Lord. She doesn't dress or
act slutty, but her dressing and carriage is
just modest enough to conceal the
essentials, and revealing enough to make
an excited dude drop his whole month's
salary into the offering Box. Too many
brethren are seeking her hand in
marriage, and she has her choice of pick
among the church's most eligible
bachelors. So she is a bit proud,
condescending, and mostly unavailable if a
guy tries to 'corner' her after church
service. *Jennimma*
3- The loud ones: These girls usually come
to church just to hoot, shout 'ride on
pastor!', speak in tongues, and roll on the
floor, during the pastor's Ministration. In
my view, these are the Pastor's
sycophants. They really make the Pastor
look anointed, with all their psychedelic
activity. They are the the ones who rush
out when the pastor says that all virgins
should come to the alter. They are also the
ones who always fall around, breaking
chairs, and alarming everyone , all in the
name of being 'under the yoke of the
anointing'. Stay away from these kind of
girls, before them comot your eye, or
cause u grave physical injury, while under
their 'annointing'. *onila*
4- The 'Mummy's Girl': This one is always
accompanied to church by her stern-faced
mum. She is usually not older than 16, but
looking very delectable and fresh. (You
know that 'innocent freshness' girls
usually have at one point in their teenage
years, before 'everything' starts going
south). A dude dare not come within
talking distance of this chick. Her mum is
far more interested in protecting her
daughter's presumed innocence, than
whatever it is the pastor is carrying on
about. These are the kind of girls a guy
can do nothing about, but admire from a
safe distance, unless you wish to extend
your investigation beyond God's House.
*mzpreshie*
5- The young, beautiful and newly married
girl: This one always has a permanent
smile plastered on her face. Why she no go
smile? She has broken the yoke of
spinsterhood in grand style, and most
unmarried sisters are envious of her
'progress'. Most of the time, she is married
to a much older rich dude who is a
member of the Pastor's inner caucus (the
Church Cabal). She usually wears expensive
wrappers, distracting headties (gele), and
hardly stays at one place all through, and
even after the service. No be her fault sha...
Why she no go show herself? Husband
don really scarce for town. *Kachisbarbie*
NOTE: This work is mine... Not copied and
pasted from anywhere ..... So please don't
ask me about the source... I AM THE SOURCE

Churches in africa tho...all we av here in Pakistan are shrines.
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Someone 'll quote nw *folds arms*

I smell pish...
The monikers though.