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I Urgently Needs Advice!!! - Romance - Nairaland

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I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by pretydamsel1(f): 4:38pm On Jan 08, 2015
hello my fellow Nairalander's,
I'm 26 and a single mother, I separated from my baby dad 2years ago because of tribal issues I.e. the parent doesn't want him to marry from another tribe (he's an Igbo guy while I'm from Akwa Ibom). my daughter as been with me ever since we separated and I love her so so much. she will be 5yrs nextmonth and now the father wants to take her away from me. his uncle has pleaded with him to leave her for now because she's still too small to be separated from her mother but he's paying deaf ears. I haven't told my parent yet but I intend to call them soon so to inform them about it but my friends are advising me to take him to court.
please I'm so confused right now, I need matured advice alone no insult please. I can't let him take my princess away from me since he has not 4 once treated her as a father simply because she wasn't a boy. he has sworn never to pay her fees nor cater for her anymore if I won't let him take her to the village to stay there with his mother.

what should I do?
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by elantraceey(f): 4:46pm On Jan 08, 2015
If he's hell bent on taking her from you and won't listen to reasoning then take him to court.

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Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by Hazardd(m): 4:50pm On Jan 08, 2015
elantraceey:
If he's hell bent on taking her from you and won't listen to reasoning then take him to court.
see advice smh
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by eistien(m): 4:51pm On Jan 08, 2015
Sue his ass, and also inform ur family you need their backing
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by elantraceey(f): 4:52pm On Jan 08, 2015
Hazardd:

see advice smh


Oh what do you expect?

She should happily give her child to a man that rejectted her? undecided

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Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by Hazardd(m): 4:59pm On Jan 08, 2015
pretydamsel1:

. he has sworn never to pay her fees nor cater for her anymore if I won't let him take her to the village to stay there with his mother.

from your above statement.
That means he has be catering for her
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by Hazardd(m): 5:11pm On Jan 08, 2015
elantraceey:



Oh what do you expect?

She should happily give her child to a man that rejectted her? undecided
whether he reject his baby mama or not,the child still remains his as long as he is catering for her from day 1 to 5years.
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by ronald4lif(m): 5:19pm On Jan 08, 2015
Others have said it all already, sue his bottom in court, he can't take her away from you just like that. Worse scenario is they split the parental custody. I am only afraid if the court can give fair justice with their kangaroo system of money for down back for ground

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Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by ShaheedBinAliyu(m): 5:20pm On Jan 08, 2015
[quote author=pretydamsel1 post=29609714]hello my fellow Nairalander's,
I'm 26 and a single mother, I separated from my baby dad 2years ago because of tribal issues I.e. the parent doesn't want him to marry from another tribe (he's an Igbo guy while I'm from Akwa Ibom). my daughter as been with me ever since we separated and I love her so so much. she will be 5yrs nextmonth and now the father wants to take her away from me. his uncle has pleaded with him to leave her for now because she's still too small to be separated from her mother but he's paying deaf ears. I haven't told my parent yet but I intend to call them soon so to inform them about it but my friends are advising me to take him to court.
please I'm so confused right now, I need matured advice alone no insult please. I can't let him take my princess away from me since he has not 4 once treated her as a father simply because she wasn't a boy. he has sworn never to pay her fees nor cater for her anymore if I won't \talk to ur lawyer/
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by Nobody: 5:47pm On Jan 08, 2015
elantraceey:



Oh what do you expect?

She should happily give her child to a man that rejectted her? undecided

Yet he has been paying all her bills
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by pretydamsel1(f): 5:49pm On Jan 08, 2015
Hazardd:

from your above statement.
That means he has be catering for her
he gives me 1000naira every week for her feeding and also pay half of her fees. but I never conplained .
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by Nobody: 5:52pm On Jan 08, 2015
Hmmmm

Now this first step you have to take is to be sure you want to keep the child.

If you are sure then you can proceed
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by Nobody: 5:52pm On Jan 08, 2015
You have custody of the child till she's seven afterwards he has custody, you yourself said he has been supportive financially so there's very little you can do than to enjoy the next two years with her as much as you can
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by passionate88: 5:54pm On Jan 08, 2015
Don't.even comtemplate giving your child to her dad... If he insist on taking her, drag him to court... Are you working or schooling?
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by Hazardd(m): 5:55pm On Jan 08, 2015
pretydamsel1:
he gives me 1000naira every week for her feeding and also pay half of her fees. but I never conplained .
with this,he is trying for her daughter and the child remains his.

You people need serious reconcilation
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by pretydamsel1(f): 5:56pm On Jan 08, 2015
Hazardd:

whether he reject his baby mama or not,the child still remains his as long as he is catering for her from day 1 to 5years.
you are getting it all wrong. 1000naira a week is that what you call catering for her? before he will even release the 1000 I will have to kneel in his shop and begged before he will throw the money on the floor for me to pick. is that it?
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by passionate88: 5:57pm On Jan 08, 2015
Hazardd:

whether he reject his baby mama or not,the child still remains his as long as he is catering for her from day 1 to 5years.
True... But I think it's better the child remain with the mother and not his mother, unless the dad has a very good reason... Reasons like 1: The mom brings different men home to "pray" with gringringrin 2: The mom has started brainwashing the little girl (Your papa na wicked man, No trust men, All men are the same) 3: You guys should use your imaginations
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by pretydamsel1(f): 5:59pm On Jan 08, 2015
Hazardd:

with this,he is trying for her daughter and the child remains his.

You people need serious reconcilation
like seriously don't make me believe that you are just like him or are you a fellow Igbo?
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by pretydamsel1(f): 6:02pm On Jan 08, 2015
passionate88:
True... But I think it's better the child remain with the mother and not his mother, unless the dad has a very good reason... Reasons like 1: The mom brings different men home to "pray" with gringringrin 2: The mom has started brainwashing the little girl (Your papa na wicked man, No trust men, All men are the same) 3: You guys should use your imaginations
I'm not that type of person. I respect my baby and I don't have another guy let alone bringing him to the house. is just me and her.
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by pretydamsel1(f): 6:04pm On Jan 08, 2015
passionate88:
Don't.even comtemplate giving your child to her dad... If he insist on taking her, drag him to court... Are you working or schooling?
I'm a graduate, will be going for service soon.
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by passionate88: 6:05pm On Jan 08, 2015
pretydamsel1:
I'm not that type of person. I respect my baby and I don't have another guy let alone bringing him to the house. is just me and her.
Ok... Sorry I had to compare you to such... I've seen it happened before
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by Hazardd(m): 6:10pm On Jan 08, 2015
pretydamsel1:
like seriously don't make me believe that you are just like him or are you a fellow Igbo?

lol,am just saying what am imagining
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by passionate88: 6:11pm On Jan 08, 2015
pretydamsel1:
I'm a graduate, will be going for service soon.
Then take the child to your parent.... Try as much as possible not to send her to his mom... If you do, that might be the last time you'd see her... There's this case of Otedola and a woman that claimed she had a child for him and the child was taken from her when she was a kid, since then she'd not seen the child and this happened like 20 years ago
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by Hazardd(m): 6:14pm On Jan 08, 2015
pretydamsel1:
I'm not that type of person. I respect my baby and I don't have another guy let alone bringing him to the house. is just me and her.
if you dont have any other guy,how are you going to get married?
thats means you still you still have hope of reconcilation with your baby dad
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by Hazardd(m): 6:20pm On Jan 08, 2015
passionate88:
Don't.even comtemplate giving your child to her dad... If he insist on taking her, drag him to court... Are you working or schooling?

draging him to court is not the best thing.because am sure she is not gonna win
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by passionate88: 6:30pm On Jan 08, 2015
pretydamsel1:
you are getting it all wrong. 1000naira a week is that what you call catering for her? before he will even release the 1000 I will have to kneel in his shop and begged before he will throw the money on the floor for me to pick. is that it?
How did you get to know him and agree to his advances?. Money join
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by Sunkyphil(m): 6:35pm On Jan 08, 2015
I TINK COURT WILL SETTLE THIS CASE
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by passionate88: 7:08pm On Jan 08, 2015
Hazardd:


draging him to court is not the best thing.because am sure she is not gonna win
She just might win, he neglected his child.. What will 1000 naira do in the upkeep of a child?. Come on, small 1k for a whole week?. La'illah... That guy is heartless
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by Hazardd(m): 7:55pm On Jan 08, 2015
passionate88:
She just might win, he neglected his child.. What will 1000 naira do in the upkeep of a child?. Come on, small 1k for a whole week?. La'illah... That guy is heartless

i understand you..

But looking at it in law court view,as long as he is catering for her and paying her school fee no matter how small the money is.that child remains his.

That dont mean am supporting the guy.
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by Sanchez01: 7:58pm On Jan 08, 2015
elantraceey:



Oh what do you expect?

She should happily give her child to a man that rejectted her? undecided
It is obvious you didn't read the OP's thread well enough.


OP, kindly hold on to your baby. A mother's love is always stronger. Keep her, lest any man comes to you with the hope of taking your solace away
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by elantraceey(f): 8:01pm On Jan 08, 2015
Sanchez01:

It is obvious you didn't read the OP's thread well enough.


OP, kindly hold on to your baby. A mother's love is always stronger. Keep her, lest any man comes to you with the hope of taking your solace away

please point out a place in the op that's contrary to my post
Re: I Urgently Needs Advice!!! by Sanchez01: 8:06pm On Jan 08, 2015
elantraceey:


please point out a place in the op that's contrary to my post
YOu claimed he neglected her, which is quite untrue. According to the OP, she stated that circumstances placed them apart. In judgement, I have learnt to put things in others' point of view, rather than see them my way. Families parted them.

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