She bluntly refused to heed my counsels. Briefly, she has stayed for sometime without a job and we have always been together without quarrels but supporting her in ways possible. Recently, a friend linked her up to something: a work with Female Sex Workers (FSW). These guys operate at night and you have to go work/meet with them then. Work starts 9PM and closes 12 Midnight according to instructions from her Supervisor. It’s an NGO work and involves building the FSW's capacity on STIs and HIV/AIDS as well as condom distribution to them. She was chosen to work within her LGA where she stays/comes from but the challenge is that where these guys used to gather is far from where she stays and by the time the work is over at midnight, she can't find her way back home because of bike over long distance and risk involve in such ungodly hour.

When we realized this, I said to her that she can't do the work because of this reason that it only fit someone who stays around where those guys ply their trade. I asked her to wait a little more that she'll fine something better to do rather that exposing herself to such risk in the name of work without any security guaranteed to them. She replied me no that she can sleep anywhere. And then she said she'll be sleeping with the colleague they attached to her. This is someone she only met during training they organized for them. This is just how she knows this guy. Yes, a guy! Immediately, she made up her mind that since there's no other person, she'll be going to sleep with this guy till the following morning. I asked her why taking such decision and she said she needs the money. I don't even know this man. And I fully know how a man can behave in such situation. Yes, no born again here. You'll definitely be tempted.

And she left for the work on day 1. I couldn't sleep that night because of 'malaria dreams' here and there. I couldn't just sleep. The following morning she came back. I asked her how the work was and she replied, "Fine". "So how did you sleep?" She replied, "I didn't sleep". She then narrated how the guy was disturbing her throughout the night wanting to have sex with her. I felt so infuriated but had to absorb everything in and remained calm. And then she said that she has contacted the uncle who stays not quite around where she work with these guys but then he has promise to be picking her up when they close. She may get to see this here because she's a member of the forum. I won't call her attention to it anyway but if she does, no problem. I came here for your own advice on this issue because I feel like letting go of the relationship eventhough I know that I never wanted this happen to us because I love her but I can't bear watching this happening to me. How do I know that the guy didn't even force himself on her or that the uncle would keep to his words for her? What happens on days that the uncle doesn’t show up? What if she's telling me a lie about the uncle so that I let her be? I'm so disturbed because she is just too desperate to do this work.

The most painful part is after I talked to her about men in general because I know how men can behave especially with such opportunity and coupled with the ‘spirit of the night’, she still went ahead and spend the night with that guy then came back to tell me her experience and now remembers she has an uncle who could help.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do? Advice me please because in this case, I don't know what to do. I usually advice people on range of issues but this one seem to me like a case of a doctor who falls sick and now needs another doctor to treat him. So you advice me please.

Trust issues....

Let her choose between the love she have for & the job. The risk associated with such job is grave, why would she accept such a job in the first place? Is the remuneration that much? I know the tide of unemployment is fast becoming inexorable, but it's not enough reason to gamble with one's life. How old is she? Let her choose btw u & the job. If she chooses the job over u, pls be strong enough to let her go, @least u know u ventilated your mind.

How much r dey paying 4 d job?

going!going twice!going thrice!



op!relationship is gone!

because of risks involve in my gf job i brokeup wt her, If u cnt take it let her go

klark3:
Let her choose between the love she have for & the job. The risk associated with such job is grave, why would she accept such a job in the first place? Is the remuneration that much? I know the tide of unemployment is fast becoming inexorable, but it's not enough reason to gamble with one's life. How old is she? Let her choose btw u & the job. If she chooses the job over u, pls be strong enough to let her go, @least u know u ventilated your mind.

She's 22. The remuneration is just peanut. She just left for it now

Well you should talk to her..
If you are capable of taking care of her like you said, she should give up that job..
What if she's killed?
Op don't break up with her, being at home all day with out a job is not something people like at all.
Talk to her,you are the Man and she should obey you. This really is for her own good..
Look out for her and don't take any harsh decision on this because she too, she's a human being.
Be gentle and explain things to her, at 22 she's still a youth.
Please understand that.

1. Do you give her money to justify her quitting the job?

2. Do you know she's just a girlfriend,and not a fiance,or wife to warrant you control her life,or things she wants?

3. Ladies generally love adventure,experience always teach them hard lesson..if you can bear the heat,I'll advice you quit. When she retrace her steps,she will come begging,except she isn't into you the first time.

My brother I understand the situation you are in and will like to advice you the following
(1) if she is a graduate assist her in looking for a job within her field and give he option of quiting her so called work and go for the one you got her.

(2) Advice her to be very careul with her said uncle who leaves around where she works.

(3) don't quit the relationship now, if you really love her as you said then try to stand by her and try to trust her a little more.

Nickijoy:
Trust issues....

even when the girl is eventually going to cheat that'd what you girls will say. you never seem.to look at the other side of the coin. girls priority is simply to support the girl no matter what.

Nickijoy:
Trust issues....

even when the girl is eventually going to cheat that'd what you girls will say. you never seem.to look at the other side of the coin. girls priority is simply to support the girl no matter what.

I can't marry a woman who can look me in the face and outrightly go against my command or wish. if it starts now then you are never going to be the man in charge in your home. wives are to be submissive of the husbands are responsible. even if I make an unreasonable demand from my wife I expect her to use her charm to win my heart over and not to flout my order. that is totally unacceptable to me. Sir, you have no say over that woman. to think that she actually slept in another man's house without your consent only shows you that there is certainly more to come. be wise.

Y do u want to let go of the relationship? Hw are u sure she lying abt her uncle? Frm ur story she jst started this work, y nt cool down fr her 1st and see Hw this plays out. She said she needs the money pls allow make some. #vegatalks#

Prixus:

even when the girl is eventually going to cheat that'd what you girls will say. you never seem.to look at the other side of the coin. girls priority is simply to support the girl no matter what.

don't drag other girls to it....

Optimall:
Well you should talk to her..
If you are capable of taking care of her like you said, she should give up that job..
What if she's killed?
Op don't break up with her, being at home all day with out a job is not something people like at all.
Talk to her,you are the Man and she should obey you. This really is for her own good..
Look out for her and don't take any harsh decision on this because she too, she's a human being.
Be gentle and explain things to her, at 22 she's still a youth.
Please understand that.

Hmmmm!!! Thanks for your counsel.

@ prixus
I reason with you. The problem is that I don't like hurting people. I try to do my best to make sure we stay happy but it pushed to the wall, I'll be left with no choice than to react. Someone without money or a job would always want to take up the parent's responsibility and hence trying to push herself beyond boundaries not minding how she goes about it.

vega84:
Y do u want to let go of the relationship? Hw are u sure she lying abt her uncle? Frm ur story she jst started this work, y nt cool down fr her 1st and see Hw this plays out. She said she needs the money pls allow make some. #vegatalks#

Yea, she's just starting the work but what if she ends up being raped? Do you think she'll tell me?

boxer022:
My brother I understand the situation you are in and will like to advice you the following
(1) if she is a graduate assist her in looking for a job within her field and give he option of quiting her so called work and go for the one you got her.

(2) Advice her to be very careul with her said uncle who leaves around where she works.

(3) don't quit the relationship now, if you really love her as you said then try to stand by her and try to trust her a little more.

The thing is that I have not really seen a woman a man can trust. Women have a general weakness and that is giving in to pressure and persuasion. My best bet is that if that guy mount so much pressure on her, she may give in. Let's not forget the nature of work they do, the things they are exposed to, the timing of the work and her own situation.