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Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? - Romance - Nairaland

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Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by littleduck(f): 6:56pm On Feb 16, 2015
Dear All,

Ii took me a while to drop these two lines, but I need your opinion!

In August I met on the internet a truly handsome Nigerian young man. We started exchanging mails and phone calls. Things were not that smooth at the beginning, but our "relationship" turned in something (maybe) more serious beginning of December.
He is very nice, funny, I like to speak with him, and I feel "only too good" when he calls me and he wants to hear from me. Honestly, I think I am in love with him like a teenager cheesy

I started to learn about his culture as much as I can, beyond what we get in our newspapers: I discovered a wonderful country, an incredibly fascinating culture, delicious food (I cooked my first Egusi soup a couple of weeks ago, I am very proud!). I have also learned a couple of Yoruba words. I am really trying to learn/understand as much as I can (music, cinema, history…). Of course, I also discovered this absolutely nice forum smiley looking around for info about Nigeria.

I am not famous, but I am a public person. I am a scientist, if I would give you two/three keywords about my work, you would find immediately my official homepage and know everything about me.

So…Where is the point? I am European (white), older than him (I look pretty young but numbers are numbers), and I can't have children because of a past illness. Thus, when he says that he has true feelings for me and he would like to marry me if our relationship develops in the future, I feel uncomfortable. Although I would love that all this could become true.

I told him I have never married anybody before. He said it is because it is destiny. I had to wait for him. Why destiny put the “supposed to be” man of my life so far away from me, it is certainly puzzling He said he told his family about me. If this is true, I would be the happiest woman on the world.

I really have feelings for him and care a lot about him, but I do not see any perspectives for this "relationship". Plus, I am not sure he really likes me, maybe I am only a toy for him, or even worse cry

So….just tell me what you think….I would really appreciate your opinion!
THX
kiss
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by Rapsainot(m): 7:08pm On Feb 16, 2015
undecided what is this one saying?

4 Likes

Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by Nobody: 7:14pm On Feb 16, 2015
if indeed the story is true as you are, i will suggest you post your write up in the family section for better feedback.
Now, i dunno any full blooded african male, in this case a nigerian who would not want a child. Be-very-ware!

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Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by littleduck(f): 7:24pm On Feb 16, 2015
blublahd:
if indeed the story is true as you are, i will suggest you post your write up in the family section for better feedback.
Now, i dunno any full blooded african male, in this case a nigerian who would not want a child. Be-very-ware!


Dear blublahd,
thank you!

I am "very true" and the story is true. I have not given all details (it would take a book... but it is a 100% true story)
This is right the kind of answer I need. I need to understand but I do not have enough knowledge. I am still learning. However, one of the first things I understood is exactly the "child thing" you mentioned and this worries me a lot.
This is also why I specified that point.
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by Nobody: 7:28pm On Feb 16, 2015
I have seen four different female monikers that joined nairaland today...

Op the picture of your egusi or Adonbiliv
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by Nobody: 7:28pm On Feb 16, 2015
Yahooo on remix...

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by Nobody: 7:31pm On Feb 16, 2015
littleduck:



Dear blublahd,
thank you!

I am "very true" and the story is true. I have not given all details (it would take a book... but it is a 100% true story)
This is right the kind of answer I need. I need to understand but I do not have enough knowledge. I am still learning. However, one of the first things I understood is exactly the "child thing" you mentioned and this worries me a lot.
This is also why I specified that point.
whats your type of scientist?
And what knowledge do you need?
I never knew they sell egusi ingredients in europe btw.
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by littleduck(f): 7:36pm On Feb 16, 2015
Ipledge:
I have seen four different female monikers that joined nairaland today...

Op the picture of your egusi or Adonbiliv

here we go, my camera is not that great but I was so proud that I took a picture.
I have watched all possible youtube video on egusi preparation, and there is an African shop that sells Nigerian food in my city, thus, I got all ingredients.
I wrote I am a scientist, I cannot lie, sorry, it is a professional influence.

3 Likes

Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by Nobody: 7:40pm On Feb 16, 2015
littleduck:


here we go, my camera is not that great but I was so proud that I took a picture.
I have watched all possible youtube video on egusi preparation, and there is an African shop that sells Nigerian food in my city, thus, I got all ingredients.
I wrote I am a scientist, I cannot lie, sorry, it is a professional influence.
wait let me do forensic analysis of this picture and even d egusi
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by littleduck(f): 7:42pm On Feb 16, 2015
blublahd:

whats your type of scientist?
And what knowledge do you need?
I never knew they sell egusi ingredients in europe btw.

I am a physicist, I study new materials for electronics

I need cultural knowledge, in my country no man has problems with the fact I cannot have children, adoption is seen as a good way to have a family since in my case not even the most advanced medicine can help.

Regarding Egusi, I can buy Nigerian food in my city and look below my picture smiley
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by littleduck(f): 7:44pm On Feb 16, 2015
Ipledge:
wait let me do forensic analysis of this picture and even d egusi

Please you are very welcome
wink

anyway it is not that I wanted to speak about my cooking abilities....
tongue
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by dokunbam(m): 7:46pm On Feb 16, 2015
So you guy communicate only through phone and Internet?

If that's case be watch out and study his moves,
Also give it sometime and learn more about NAIJA. You will find NAIJA wink interesting




















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Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by Nobody: 7:50pm On Feb 16, 2015
littleduck:


Please you are very welcome
wink

anyway it is not that I wanted to speak about my cooking abilities....
tongue
sorry oo,not that am too inquisitive,how many maggi did u use...I no won make u see me as ijay,but ur egusi no get much oyel
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by littleduck(f): 7:51pm On Feb 16, 2015
promsman12:
Yahooo on remix...

I am sorry if I bothered you but it was not compulsory to read what I wrote not even to comment on it...
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by littleduck(f): 7:56pm On Feb 16, 2015
Ipledge:
sorry oo,not that am too inquisitive,how many maggi did u use...I no won make u see me as ijay,but ur egusi no get much oyel

nooooo, you are not too inquisitive ...... grin

I have cooked the stock by myself
I am not saying that my Egusi is perfect, i have done my best and I was proud, that's all
I followed step by step a youtube video, after I watched 100s of them to understand exactly what I should buy and do...
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by Nobody: 7:56pm On Feb 16, 2015
littleduck:


I am a physicist, I study new materials for electronics

I need cultural knowledge, in my country no man has problems with the fact I cannot have children, adoption is seen as a good way to have a family since in my case not even the most advanced medicine can help.

Regarding Egusi, I can buy Nigerian food in my city and look below my picture smiley
you have possibly met all men in your city who arent bothered by it? shocked
and just because they are not, does not apply to an african man, a young one at that. I can bet you, any african mother wants to, at some point, carry her grandchild.
Like i suggested earlier, this page would be better off in the family section.
Your cultural knowlege could be best served there too.
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by Nobody: 7:59pm On Feb 16, 2015
Maga about to pay grin

1 Like

Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by littleduck(f): 8:05pm On Feb 16, 2015
blublahd:

you have possibly met all men in your city who arent bothered by it? shocked
and just because they are not, does not apply to an african man, a young one at that. I can bet you, any african mother wants to, at some point, carry her grandchild.
Like i suggested earlier, this page would be better off in the family section.
Your cultural knowlege could be best served there too.

I'll try to see how to move this there, I am not sure I know how to deal with it...
anyway, "no man" was meant as you mean "any african mother wants to....."
Also "any" European one likes to have grandchildren, but it is not a problem.

Do you think it was funny for me when the doctors said that I had to undergo surgery and I would not have any children? I cried all my sorrow for years and it still hurts, but there are things that cannot be changed.
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by delishpot: 8:05pm On Feb 16, 2015
OP, he may be real or wants to get some cash out of you or wants to use you to get foreign passport.
So. Just watch out and be careful if he starts asking for money to treat his relative or himself or if he starts pushing for you to invite him and take him over even when you dont feel its time to do so. Watch his reaction when you say No to his cash or visa request and dont let love blind you.

For all we know, he could be a girl posing as a guy.

3 Likes

Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by Nobody: 8:08pm On Feb 16, 2015
If he really loves you, you wouldn't be wondering at all if he does. But since he doesn't, you're left wondering the whole time if he do.

2 Likes

Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by littleduck(f): 8:11pm On Feb 16, 2015
imas:
Maga about to pay grin

you know I told him I do not have money, just to avoid misunderstanding, as, unfortunately, your country is well known here because of that problem.
I live on my own work that is very fascinating but nobody becomes rich with science as it belongs to the human kind, and so on ....
but you are right, a greencard, for example, maybe always seen as a kind of reward...
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by littleduck(f): 8:13pm On Feb 16, 2015
Aprime:
If he really loves you, you wouldn't be wondering at all if he does. But since he doesn't, you're left wondering the whole time if he do.

I think you got the point
cry
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by littleduck(f): 8:16pm On Feb 16, 2015
delishpot:
OP, he may be real or wants to get some cash out of you or wants to use you to get foreign passport.
So. Just watch out and be careful if he starts asking for money to treat his relative or himself or if he starts pushing for you to invite him and take him over even when you dont feel its time to do so. Watch his reaction when you say No to his cash or visa request and dont let love blind you.

For all we know, he could be a girl posing as a guy.

no he is a man
he calls me on skype on video, I can call him when I want
He has shown me his house, his things... when he goes to the beach he calls me on video because he knows I like the see. I was born on a island but now I live on the continent, in the mountains sad
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by Nobody: 8:17pm On Feb 16, 2015
littleduck:


I think you got the point
cry

Don't be Sad.
Buena suerte a usted dama blanca. smiley
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by dnawah(m): 8:21pm On Feb 16, 2015
littleduck:


here we go, my camera is not that great but I was so proud that I took a picture.
I have watched all possible youtube video on egusi preparation, and there is an African shop that sells Nigerian food in my city, thus, I got all ingredients.
I wrote I am a scientist, I cannot lie, sorry, it is a professional influence.
my dear u really tried for that soup o!some girls here cannot do it.but next time add plenty palm oil ok,grin
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by Nobody: 8:22pm On Feb 16, 2015
Did he tell you about his oil wells and his dad's money that was seized by the government?
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by delishpot: 8:23pm On Feb 16, 2015
littleduck:


no he is a man
he calls me on skype on video, I can call him when I want
He has shown me his house, his things... when he goes to the beach he calls me on video because he knows I like the see. I was born on a island but now I live on the continent, in the mountains sad

Ok. Wishing you the best. Truth is we cant tell you how he feels about you. Its you that will know through his actions as time passes.
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by littleduck(f): 8:24pm On Feb 16, 2015
dokunbam:
So you guy communicate only through phone and Internet?

If that's case be watch out and study his moves,
Also give it sometime and learn more about NAIJA. You will find NAIJA wink interesting

THX smiley
Yes.
in another situation I would have simply taken a train or a flight and visit him, as it is the usual way.
Unfortunately at the moment, there are, how to say it?, complicated political issues. My governments (I have two passports) strongly discourage people to travel down there, I have to do a lot of things to overcome this indication at the moment...considering that I am also a woman and in general traveling alone it may be dangerous in any part of the world.

About NAIJA, I am sure that you are 100% right and I am going to learn more. it does not matter how this story will end...






















Which candidate do you think would drive the most improvement in Nigeria healthcare services?


Vote and stand a change to win cinema ticket or recharge card



Vote Here
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by Nobody: 8:26pm On Feb 16, 2015
@littleduck, who made the first contact?
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by Nobody: 8:27pm On Feb 16, 2015
littleduck:


I'll try to see how to move this there, I am not sure I know how to deal with it...
anyway, "no man" was meant as you mean "any african mother wants to....."
Also "any" European one likes to have grandchildren, but it is not a problem.

Do you think it was funny for me when the doctors said that I had to undergo surgery and I would not have any children? I cried all my sorrow for years and it still hurts, but there are things that cannot be changed.

pardon my bit of insensitivity there.
I brought that bit of granny to show where such pressure may arise even if he is a brother who would not mind and something paramount in culture also.

1 Like

Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by ivyy(f): 8:27pm On Feb 16, 2015
Don't fall blindly. I'd advice you to be really careful here I don't believe his story. Try reason whth your head and not your hrt pls.
Re: Interracial Relationship: Does He Really Love Me???? by littleduck(f): 8:29pm On Feb 16, 2015
dnawah:
my dear u really tried for that soup o!some girls here cannot do it.but next time add plenty palm oil ok,grin

Thank you for the tip!

really?
more than what I used?
I though it was even too much. OK I left most of it inside the pan when I served the Egusi soup....

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