Hello guys! (and gals!). I’ve spent a good part of my life wandering Cartalk, and have seen it all, from Siena ’s awesome Hilux, to Denn ’s interesting Bug restore, to all those ridiculously easy ‘quizzes’ Autos-bay likes putting up for some reason.

Well, today I decided to get off my lazy butt and write a bit on my pet delight, the sleeper. To the greenhorns, a sleeper is a car that looks generic on the outside but packs a punch in acceleration and brute speed. I’ve tried my best to some omit fast looking cars like the Dodge charger as well as a whole lotta German metal ‘cos in naija, dem all be motor (be it Audi A8 or Mercedes A class)!

Ok, enough chit-chat; here we go! Feel free to add yours!

1. 2013 Ford Taurus SHO

My first pick is not a very common car on naija roads, but then maybe I don’t often see it ‘cos it kinda resembles an Accord Evil Spirit on steroids. Weighing over 2 tons it’s no small car. To propel its fat ass at into the horizon, the engine bay is filled with a twin-turbo, direct-injection 3.5-liter EcoBoost V6 that spits out 365hp and 350 lb-ft of torque. This allows this fat boy to do 60 in approximately 5.2seconds and hit a limited top speed of 130mph. But then, if that’s too slow for your testerone gland, you can always go for the Hennessey version that has 435 horses, good for a 0-60 time of just 4.3 seconds and a top speed north of 150mph, or 0; if you don’t turn left.

2.2006 subaru legacy GT

The Subaru legacy is yet another discreet car, condemned to a life of very little head turns and the butt of plenty ‘why didn’t you just buy a camry na?’ arguments. This makes it all the more insulting to your manly hood when this, this ----thing, especially in its caravan/estate form overtakes you and your Honda Accord at speeds exceeding 200kmph. The Legacy GT’s 2.5 turbo intercooled engine puts out 250hp to all 4 wheels which gives it a 0-60 time of 5.2 seconds and an electronically limited top speed of 136mph.

3.2004 Subaru Forester XT turbo

While, I’m on Subarus let me quickly mention this car. Like many other subarus it look kinda ordinary- in my opinion, the boxy shape is even ….errmm ugly-ish. But then if you are drunk enough to race one at a trafficlight, odds are that you’ll be quickly slapped in the face by its 224 hp, 2.5 turbo engine which takes it to 60 in 5.3 seconds flat, and will make it pass a quarter mile in 13.8 seconds. For reference, this is just 0.3 secs slower than a Porsche Cayenne turbo. It will then top out a little south of 130mph.

4. 1994 GMC Suburban Lingenfelter

The average Nigerian will probably not know a Suburban. It’s that huge land whale of an SUV that you see roaming the roads around any American Embassy. Not been to the American Embassy? Ok, see those big black suvs that the ‘killers’ in several movies love using? The ones that almost always crash? Ahaa, na Suburban dat. In the US, they aren’t exactly the fastest things around, despite their V8s. They are the cars of choice for the FBI and farmers and dudes that need to tow stuff, as well as rappers, who call them Escalades for some strange reason. Well starting in 1994, GMC sold a limited run of ‘special’ Burbs retuned by Lingenfelter. Those folk dropped a whooping 9.9liters of engine that gives off 550 horsepower and 705 pound-feet of torque. This takes this 3 ton beast to 60 miles an hour in 4.7 seconds. I’ve tried my best to search for a top speed but nobody has had the balls to find out.

5. 2011 Hyundai Sonata SE 2.0T

Remember when the Hyundai was looked down upon by everyone for their plain exteriors and horrible scratchy plastic interiors? Those days are far gone, sleeping with the ancestors and hopefully Boko Haram. Unbelievers of this fact, looking down on Hyundais from their Beemers, Lexuses and BMWs stand risk of being humbled by the Sonata, quickly. Its 4cylinder 2.0 turbo is puts out an amazing 274 horsepower, which takes it to 60mph in 6.0 seconds. It will then top out at a whooping 153mph.

6. 2007 Mazda Mazdaspeed 6

Ahh, remember the ubiquitous mazda 626? Back then it was the car to die for. Mazda’s still very much alive though, making some of the finest looking cars to fit a ‘normal’ budget. Every once in a while, a Mazda engineer will take one too many Orijin and decide to make a decent car, much faster. That’s probably what brought forth the Mazda mazdaspeed 6. The 2.3 litre turbocharged and direct injected four- cylinder engine puts out 270 horsepower which takes it to 60 in 5.4 seconds- and tops out at 149mph

7.2005 Nissan Altima 3.5 SE-R

Nissan is the maker of several purebred sports cars like the Fairladyz, 350z and the GT-R so it’s normal some sports car might have leaked out into that generic Nissan doing 40Kmph in the outer lane. In cases like the Altima, cosmetic differences between the normal 2.5 and sleeper 3.5 se-r are so subtle. Many Nigerian owners of the V6 3.5 SE-R might not even know the260hp weapon they have on their hand; good enough for a 0-60 time of 6.1 secs and a top speed of 140mph. All they may know is “manual no dey be me , make I sell am go buy automatic End of discussion.”

8.2004 Volvo V70R

The Volvo has almost never been known to be an eye catcher. Apart from probably being known as the safest cars on the road, they are pretty much plain in every other aspect. Except for the ‘boss of the village’ role they seen to play in a handful of Nollywood movies, most Volvos are relegated to a life of driving grandma and grandpa to church. But then if Grandpa (or grandma) happen to decide he (or she) needs a few good doses of adrenalin and go for a Volvo V20R wagon, be assured you won’t see their gray hair as they pass you on the highway-heck, you won’t even see the car sef. The 2.5 litre turbocharged 5 cylinder that breathes out a whole 300 horses will make sure of that. This sleeper is capable of a 0-60 of 5.5 secs and a limited top speed of 155mph

Ok. I was here.

9.2006 Honda Accord V6

This list would have not been complete without the mention of a Honda. The chief alternative to Toyota Camry in Nigeria, the Accord is a very popular car in Nigeria. Popularly referred to as the ‘discussion continues’—a shot of it in a Nollywood movie usually means someone affluent is about to show up. They are no slouches, with even the base 2.4 litres boasting of 190hp. But then the true sleepers are the Accords with the 3.0V6-preferably alongside a 6-speed manual. These spit out 244hp and are capable of a 0-60 run in 5.9 seconds and have a top speed of a whooping 145mph!

10. 2009 Chevrolet cobalt ss sedan

Lets say you are on the interstate. You and your Toyota Avalon have overtaken everything that dared to be on the road that day and you’re feeling pretty egotistic of yourself and your sweet Avalon. Suddenly you look up at your rearview mirror and notice a little econo sedan; getting larger and larger. You floor the accelerator but it’s to no avail, the little creep is catching up—fast. Then bam- before you can say Thunder Strike, the little sedan has overtaken you and is gone into the horizon, but not before it crushed every last bit of your manliness (or womanliness) on the road. You have just been schooled by the Chevy Cobalt SS sedan and its 2.0 turbocharged 4 cylinder that puts out 260 hp and 260 pound feet of torgue which take it to 60mph from a standstill in 5.5secs. It will then top out at 150mph, out of the scope of your vision.

I was thinking there will not be any Honda .

Aaaand 11. 1995 Audi RS2 Avant

Hey, I know I said this is a 10 car list, but then I was never good at math.

After being hopelessly humbled by the Cobalt up there, you swore revenge. You took up a second job, worked HARD and made good money. You then sold your Avalon and added your earnings to buy a 2009 Range Rover Sport Supercharged. You then looked for that stewpid Cobalt and made sure to overtake it well and good-so you’ve got some of your ego back… but then after driving for some minutes something that looks like an Audi 80 fills your rearview mirror. “Chai!!” you think, “I go school this tin can sharp sharp” You then proceed to floor your Range Rover, and that was your fatal mistake. Y’see, that car coming up behind you is the 1995 Audi RS2 Avant , also known as the car that can beat a freaking Mclaren F1 to 30mph!! Now you will take your Range to its top speed, only for this Audi to overtake you doing twice your speed. Whatever is left of your ego will be crushed, forever.

A collaboration between Porsche and Audi, the Audi RS2 Avant features a 2.2 litre inline five-cylinder 20-valve turbocharged petrol engine good for churning out315hp and 302 pound feet of torgue. This takes her to 60mph in 4.7 secs and tops her out at an electronically limited 163mph.

lonelydora:
I was thinking there will not be any Honda .

Sure is....shouldda put in a toyota though

billy187:


Sure is....shouldda put in a toyota though

What about the toyota XV40, XV50 and XV60?
What about the lexus IS350, GS350, RX400h?
What about the infiniti G37, M45?

Incomplete list

lomomike:


What about the XV40, XV50 and XV60?
What about the lexus IS350, GS350, RX400h?
What about the infiniti G37, M45?

Incomplete list

bro, i did leave a whole lot out...didnt even mention a single acura...or even the audi s8....

As i mentioned earlier, luxury cars in nigeria already appear fast and wont be as much as a suprise to most Nigerians.

hence my deliberate omission of almost all luxury margues!

But then if you still feel im a bit wrong...thread's not closed yet.

billy187:


bro, i did leave a whole lot out...didnt even mention a single acura...or even the audi s8....

As i mentioned earlier, luxury cars in nigeria already appear fast and wont be as much as a suprise to most Nigerians.

hence my deliberate omission of almost all luxury margues!

But then if you still feel im a bit wrong...thread's not closed yet.

Any Audi with an S badge is performance biased. Its even worse when that their evil quattro comes to play. They are cheat, audis.

lomomike:


Any Audi with an S badge is performance biased. Its even worse when that their evil quattro comes to play. They are cheat, audis.

Lol. U no serious

When you see that taurus on road, it looks like a killer whale with its mouth open about to swallow a school of fish. As much as I like the intimidating size (yes I like to intimidate people on road) I just don't trust ford cars in naija.

lomomike:


Any Audi with an S badge is performance biased. Its even worse when that their evil quattro comes to play. They are cheat, audis.

bros!! u shld have told me this before i blew the transmission of my picanto trying to chase down an audi s6

K

This is the audi that intimidated me onroad today, Audi A4 2.0T quattro with APR badge inscribed on her, two powerful exhaust that kept on roaring RUN RUN and I was telling it BRING IT ON in my mini van.

nurey:
This is the audi that intimidated me onroad today, Audi A4 2.0T quattro with APR badge inscribed on her, two powerful exhaust that kept on roaring RUN RUN and I was telling it BRING IT ON in my mini van.

No go burn your 195bhp 3.0 1MZfE '98 toyota CE engine o.

nurey:
This is the audi that intimidated me onroad today, Audi A4 2.0T quattro with APR badge inscribed on her, two powerful exhaust that kept on roaring RUN RUN and I was telling it BRING IT ON in my mini van.

Eeeiii...boss; what minivan was that?!

billy187:


Eeeiii...boss; what minivan was that?!

Its a 3.0L V6 VVTI petrol injector matted to a 4 speed automatic transmission churning out 193bhp and a top speed of 180km/h its no other than a toyota sienna

nurey:


Its a 3.0L V6 VVTI petrol injector matted to a 4 speed automatic transmission churning out 193bhp and a top speed of 180km/h its no other than a toyota sienna

Bros, just so u know, a Honda civic with 1.8L engine and 140hp will chew that ur Siena on a race track.

greenhulk:


Bros, just so u know, a Honda civic with 1.8L engine and 140hp will chew that ur Siena on a race track.

Another good fallacy

nurey:


Another good fallacy

I don't think it is a fallacy. Toyota sienna is mini van and not in any way tuned for sports even though it has a v6 engine. A golf 4 with 1.8L will outrun it on a track trust me. E be like say this ur Toyota sienna dey too shack u, abi na that v6 engine dey deceive u.

A 2008 Honda civic with 1.8L engine and 140hp has 0-60 of 7.7 seconds against 1999 sienna which has over 9 seconds to get to 60.

The civic has a top speed of 220+km/hr but ur sienna will not go faster than 180km/hr.

The civic has a lower center of gravity and lighter against ur Sienna's high ground.

You can see bro there's no way ur sienna will beat the civic in a race. I remember when u were thinking that sienna will beat an i4 EOD lol. I really laugh. Next time when u see a civic outrun u, don't just try chasing it as u might end up crashing ur car.

Do u also know a 2005 Honda accord 3.0 v6 with 240hp will chew a Toyota 4 runner with 4.7L v8 and 260hp?

If u think I'm lying, let the pros do justice to it.

What it is [img]http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ8H8xY_EhyB4VaPpZqt-ExvC-ShsxU2b9pIIjJeP2oeSdYxRxLky1SQqkz[/img]

what nurey thinks it is [img]http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRq_ryh6vnTdO3ULSqw6jX5WtYFIasd7yd6-Un1Moh6G4XPkqhzCfQ54RDW[/img]

GAZZUZZ:
What it is [img]http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ8H8xY_EhyB4VaPpZqt-ExvC-ShsxU2b9pIIjJeP2oeSdYxRxLky1SQqkz[/img]

what nurey thinks it is [img]http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRq_ryh6vnTdO3ULSqw6jX5WtYFIasd7yd6-Un1Moh6G4XPkqhzCfQ54RDW[/img]

oga GAZZUZZ,
its not a function of what u see BT what nurey sees in his sienna.
pls, leave him n his DEAR SIENNA.
Ur analysis crack me up big tym.

GAZZUZZ:
What it is [img]http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ8H8xY_EhyB4VaPpZqt-ExvC-ShsxU2b9pIIjJeP2oeSdYxRxLky1SQqkz[/img]

what nurey thinks it is [img]http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRq_ryh6vnTdO3ULSqw6jX5WtYFIasd7yd6-Un1Moh6G4XPkqhzCfQ54RDW[/img]

This man sha you too like to dey fall my hand