Article written by Charles Oputa. Read below..
When I look back at my life, and all the stuff I did as a carefree, young and restless youth,  I can't help but shudder at some of my very bad habits. Yes, I was once short-fused; blowing off at the slightest provocation. It was pitiful. Over time I have managed to rid myself of such sad habits but that can't be said for a lot of men some of who, even late in their lives can't still get over it, thereby losing their cool in their homes. No be small thing sha.

Domestic violence is an under reported crime in Nigeria, almost accepted as norm. Some  men feel it's their right, some feel it's always the women who bring out the beast in them, while others will readily admit its a way of stamping their authority in the home. Sadly, many don't see anything wrong with beating their wives. How sad! Yes, am aware there are women who beat up their husbands, but those are in the minority and this piece ain't about them. The most guilty perpetrators are usually men and the victims are mostly their wives and sometimes their children too.

Men abusing women is like a defence and coping mechanism for being or feeling WEAK in other aspects of life, sometimes including deep analog beliefs about masculinity. Men who abuse loved ones tend to blame other things or people for their violent outbursts. In some cases, it is a cycle: "my father abused me and my mom, so, it's  normal".
Society doesn't help either, it ingrains in a man's psyche that macho bullshit; how he should be strong and if he can't exhibit that in his daily public life, it's ok for him to go home and prove his strength. 

Abusive men are not limited to a particular status, it ranges from a bricklayer to a CEO or even a President, causing their women to perpetually live in anxiety and fear. Most of them tip-toe around their husbands, not because they respect these men, but because of fear.

A violent man might have grown up in a dysfunctional household but this is still not a reason to be abusive. It is an excuse, and a flimsy one at that.
Some men don't come from humble homes where women are appreciated. Some of us come from homes that expose us to sex, gossip, male macho bullshit. Values for treating women start with where you're coming from, your background. However, beyond these, what bleeps most men up is our BIG FAT EGO. It has everything to do with selfishness or overrated feeling of self-importance. QED.
Ego is the source of many negatives in the world. It is the false 'self' that Jesus said we should let die before we can gain everlasting life. Ego craves to be first, but we must be willing to be last. Unconditional love comes with humility, selflessness, abundant generosity, perfect responsibility, fearless confidence.

I no go brag, am not all that, but I dey try. God knows!

Now, for the man who feels trapped in this mad dance with his loved ones and is trying very hard to rid himself of this very terrible habit, do like me. If you start to feel that your fuse is about to burst, try and say nothing, hold it in for a few minutes and relocate yourself to another space, either in your house, or outside. Allow some time to elapse before you express yourself, never talk or let your fist run amok when you're upset; it doesn't make for a good picture.
Even though I have cured myself of my short fuse, i still get tempted from time to time. What works best for me now is silence. I go and lock myself in my room and will never utter a word to my lady until am sure am in control of my faculties. Since many moons ago, I have discovered that this is a very effective option in dealing with a very bad temper.

So next time you are with your woman and you feel like turning her into a punching bag, change the game, beat her with your silence for the period you feel like blowing your fuse. Na my way be that oooooo.
This is just my take sha, how you see the matter my guys?
Linda Ik

Wife beaters kip yo comments cowards

olapam:
Wife beaters kip yo comments cowards

please don't tell me you did not read this and jumped into conclusion

Richy4:

please don't tell me you did not read this and jumped into conclusion

she obviously did.....now waiting for counterthread for husband beaters

Methinks there are other ways to handle issues than beating. Wonder why I would try that. Akin to beating my mum. The thought is revolting and thus should be perished.

'I hit her, I regret it but she DESERVED it'



Thank God some men still think that hitting their wife is wrong
There's hope

olapam:
Wife beaters kip yo comments cowards

Na your kind dey chop slap. Husband never talk one you don talk fifty.

olapam:
Wife beaters kip yo comments cowards

This is what is wrong with Africa, Short Attention span, the author never made mention of the beating your wife physically but with silence. please learn to follow instructions i've seen it cost people's jobs or exam.

pcguru1:


This is what is wrong with Africa, Short Attention span, the author never made mention of the beating your wife physically but with silence. please learn to follow instructions i've seen it cost people's jobs or exam.

She is the OP ...

Rainess:


She is the OP ...

Op I apologize I interpreted it as she calling the Op wife beater and telling the Op to keep his/her comments.

Pc guru you are the reason Africa is having short attention span you accused someone of it while not reading properly shame on you

pcguru1:


This is what is wrong with Africa, Short Attention span, the author never made mention of the beating your wife physically but with silence. please learn to follow instructions i've seen it cost people's jobs or exam.

Is it only in African or amongst Africans you find this issue of 'Short Attention Span' prevalent?

Or other non-Africans are saints when it comes to Domestic Violence?

pcguru1:
Pc guru you are the reason Africa is having short attention span you accused someone of it while not reading properly shame on you

Did you read your statement before hitting the 'submit' button?

Timbuktou:
Na your kind dey chop slap. Husband never talk one you don talk fifty.

Hehe

kaboninc:


Did you read your statement before hitting the 'submit' button?

What's going on here??

Ewuro4:


What's going on here??

My friend pcguru1 quoted himself apparently trying to 'yab' someone only for him to yab himself!

Topic about Domestic Violence and I can see that unique clique (you know nau) coming in to 'validate' their claim.

Lol.

kaboninc:


My friend pcguru1 quoted himself apparently trying to 'yab' someone only for him to yab himself!

Topic about Domestic Violence and I can see that unique clique (you know nau) coming in to 'validate' their claim.

Lol.

I actually accused the poster of abusing the OP only to discover that they are the same people so i posted it to myself telling myself that isn't it ironic that i accused someone of not reading properly when i didn't take time to notice they were the same people. i read the article but didn't read the author name. so am abusing myself its only fair now but what do i know am just a mortal man.

kaboninc:


Is it only in African or amongst Africans you find this issue of 'Short Attention Span' prevalent?

Or other non-Africans are saints when it comes to Domestic Violence?

When you see them tell them too. Short Attention Span is even high in the west compared to Africa

pcguru1:


I actually accused the poster of abusing the OP only to discover that they are the same people so i posted it to myself telling myself that isn't it ironic that i accused someone of not reading properly when i didn't take time to notice they were the same people. i read the article but didn't read the author name. so am abusing myself its only fair now but what do i know am just a mortal man.

Lol. That's was funny. You could have just modified you post completely nau.

kaboninc:


Lol. That's was funny. You could have just modified you post completely nau.

I want people to learn from my mistakes make them no go make mistake vote GEJ because of lack of attention

pcguru1:


I want people to learn from my mistakes make them no go make mistake vote GEJ because of lack of attention

Well, firstly, am for GEJ.

Secondly, GEJ doesn't make your kind of mistakes.

Thirdly, let's leave politics for Politics Section.

pcguru1:
Pc guru you are the reason Africa is having short attention span you accused someone of it while not reading properly shame on you

Nice one. You are taking responsibilities for your mistakes.

sparklebaby:


Nice one. You are taking responsibilities for your mistakes.

yeah, that is someone with integrity