5 Myths About People Who Wait
Until Marriage to Have Sex


#1 – People who claim they’re waiting are
actually just ugly losers who can’t get laid


The Myth


Normal, attractive people don’t wait until marriage. Anybody who
claims that they’re waiting is probably just an ugly losers/social
outcast who can’t find anybody to have sex with. They tell other
people (and themselves) that they are waiting till marriage to feel
better about nobody wanting them.


The Reality


Most people decide to wait until marriage in their mid-to-late
teens, right around the time when the opportunity to have sex starts
to close in on them for the first time. It is this pressure — the very
real, immediate possibility of having sex — that forces the person to
decide how the feel about the issue. Without the opportunity, there
would be little reason for people to worry about making a decision.
Moreover, one of the biggest challenges for those who wait is
resisting opportunity throughout their lives. If you don’t believe me,
read the comments on this site. Most of them mention pressures
and over-abundance of opportunities much more than they
mention loneliness.
Waiting till marriage is a mental decision that comes from a
particular personality type. It has little to do with physical
appearance. There are people who wait at all levels of physical
attractiveness, from Quasimodo to Supermodel.
There are such things as unattractive, socially awkward people who
have trouble finding partners. But in my experience, such people are
more likely to be desperate types who make lots of bad sexual
decisions because of their low self esteem.


#2 – Only super-religious people wait until
marriage


The Myth


People only wait until marriage because their pastor, their church,
and their backwards, outdated religion tells them that they’re going
to hell if they don’t. Really, we should feel bad for people who wait
because their ultra-religious upbringing is suppressing their natural
urges in an unhealthy way.


The Reality


While it’s true that the majority of waiters attend some sort of
religious services, that’s not universal, and those who are religious
aren’t always the “bad” type of religious (overbearing, pushy,
preachy). As Leo’s recent article on Atheism and waiting proves,
waiting till marriage is not always a purely-religious decision.
Waiting till marriage is a cause that can appeal to people of all
faiths, and those with none.


#3 – Oh you’re waiting? You must not have a
sex drive.


The Myth


For somebody who regularly lets their sexual urges rule them, it can
seem strange and totally unthinkable that there could be people out
there who willfully ignore and redirect those urges. So strange, in
fact, that such people must not really exist. Surely, nobody with a
normal sex drive could muster the will to hold it at bay until
marriage…they must just have a lower-than-normal sex drive. They
must not be interested in sex. They must be frigid in some way.


The Reality


As most people on this site can assure you, people who wait until
marriage have hormones and sex drives that rage just as hard as
everybody else’s. The difference is that people who wait have
prioritized (to the extreme) the desires of their heart and mind over
that physical side of them. As much as possible, people who wait
strive to redirect that part of themselves into productive ambitions
until they meet the right person, at which point they can let the
beast out of the cage.


#4 – People who wait are total prudes


The Myth


This one goes along with the myth that waiters don’t have sex
drives. People assume that those who wait are prudish and uptight
about sex. In terms of dating, people assume that a virgin will recoil
in horror and slap them in the face at the slightest physical
advance. God forbid you do actually marry a person who is waiting,
because they’ll probably be totally boring in the bedroom.


The Reality


Most people who wait do not view sex as ugly or bad — quite the
opposite. Waiting till marriage is not an act of reducing or
demonizing sex; it is an act of elevating it and holding it as more
meaningful. Most people who wait have all the same sexual desires
as non-waiters. They just require a higher price for unlocking that
part of them: meaning and commitment.


#5 – All people who wait are preachy
hypocrites


The Myth


Lots of young people try to wait until marriage and then give up.
There are some personalities that were never really compatible with
the whole idea of waiting. When somebody with an incompatible
personality tries to force themselves to wait, they often do so using
very harsh language in their own minds. They beat and chastise
themselves into doing what they have become convinced is proper.
And when they are challenged on it, they lash out and lecture
others using all the harsh words they use against themselves.
They become the preachy, holier-than-thou types that everybody
hates. And then, because their whole decision is based on fear and
repression, they cave, over and over again. One minute they’ll be
calling some girl a slut, and the next minute they’ll be having sex in
the church bathroom, and then two days later they’ll
be chastising themselves for it and lashing out at others again.
One day, they hurtfully condemn one of their classmates who
happens to be a future Hollywood screenwriter, or the friend of a
future screenwriter. And then that writer grows up to make movies
and TV shows portraying abstinent people as cruel hypocrites; her
revenge against her High School tormentors. The writer’s
passionately vicious portrayal sticks in the minds of moviegoers,
and helps solidify the stereotype of an abstinent person.


The Reality


There’s a vast difference between people who say they’re waiting
till marriage in high school, and those who continue to maintain
their decision after they’ve graduated. The latter are the real
waiters. And those tend to be very sweet, kindhearted people, not
angry preachy types.
As mentioned above, it is often the people who fail miserably at
waiting who are the most vocal about it. The successful waiters, the
ones who survive high school with their decision intact, who are
kind and unpreachy and don’t judge others for their own actions…
those people tend to keep their decision to themselves. But we are
the silent majority when it comes to waiting till marriage.

Ok

*Land for sale*

Observin ontop banana tree

The girls that use the words are the confused type of girls who don't know exactly what they want. i had a girl who used the sentence one day without any reason and that was the end of the rlship.

Waiting is Gods instruction and when we obey qe get the reward. For me I've decided to wait no matter what people say.

Kereokwu:
Waiting is Gods instruction and when we obey qe get the reward. For me I've decided to wait no matter what people say.

This is all I have to say to you. This is why I believe in God and not in religion, most of us get it wrong, do what you have to do, not because of the reward, but because that's the right thing to do.

Hmmmm........So some people who wait are sore losers

MILTARY ZONE KEEP OFF

vislabraye:
Hmmmm........So some people who wait are sore losers

KrazyBone:
This thread is a pile of tedious dogshit. . .

I mean, look at the bullshit you made up to justify your CHOICE of having sex before marriage while advertently denigrating the CHOICE of those who decide to wait.

What model of_moron are you?

Calm down. Read the stuff again, in between lines slowly.

Thank God this is all a myth. The way i wan take jump enter OP before eh.

Myth #4 and #5 tho. I got that phobia a long time I swear, if they shut their kini in marriage it may take the second coming to unlock it

@preniespadz I like your write up. It shows that you are intelligent and mature minded. Can we be friends. My Watsapp number is 09012867922.