My sister and her husband are a couple of months old in their marriage. The husband's younger sister,who is almost same age with my sister, moved in with them on a temporary basis (it is convenient for her to get to work from my sister's home).

At first, they lived in perfect harmony and peace. They did stuff together, cooked together, and even sometimes neglected the man of the house . Out of the blue, my sister began to notice that her SIL was withdrawing from her. She asked her about it and she attributed it to stress at work. This behaviour persisted and got worse. The SIL only spoke to her in monosyllables and focused all her attention and her conversation to her brother. The next thing she did was to reject her food. Right now, she doesn't eat anything in that house touched or cooked by my sister.

My sister complained to her husband about his sister's behaviour. At first, he thought she was over imagining things. Then some things happened that opened his eyes to the tension and hostility in his home. He tried to call them both to reconcile whatever differences they might have had. To his dismay, his sister openly challenged him and threatened to leave his house if he didn't drop the matter. For peace sake, he let it go ,hoping the sudden hostility will vanish as it came.

Just this past weekend, the couple paid a visit to his family home. The reception they got was colder than the North pole. It was so bad that an argument broke out between the husband and his mum,who was defending her daughters' behaviour. They left earlier than planned,without being given a morsel of food.

The SIL came back to my sister's home after that weekend disaster and has stopped greeting my sister completely. She does nothing at all to help out and hisses, grumbles and murmurs to herself for whatever reasons. Her brother is fed up with the drama and wants her to leave but he doesn't want a split in his family.

What can and should be done on this matter? My sister is at her wits end. The tension in the house is unhealthy for a young marriage as theirs. Matured married folks should advise on this please.

GIVE HER RAT POISON SO THAT SHE MILL NOT SEE HER AGAIN

Makamuanwuo:
GIVE HER RAT POISON SO THAT SHE MILL NOT SEE HER AGAIN

Trust me,she has considered that option many times.

Something must have happened . . .

Let your sister ask her husband very well. Maybe he complained to his sister about her and she took it personally.

I can only imagine what she must be going though in her own house.

Na wah!

What's up with all this wimps of nowadays for goodness sakes. Isn't it Time for him to prove that he is the HEAD OF the house abi is it only in food matters and sek that we will know he is the head of the house. The man who's in the middle of all of this cat fight should find out from both parties the reason for the unnecessary attitude and if his sister cannot give reasons for her rudeness IN HIS HOUSEshe can as well go and rent a hotel or live with a friend. How can he be allowing someone else to make his wife uncomfortable in his own house. Of course friendship is not by force after all we don't choose our family but we have a right to choose who we decide to do friendship with and if the sister in law says she doesn't want to have anything to do with her brother's wife, there are plenty of hotels in Nigeria.




How can you be allowing disrespect and disregard in your own house




Christopher Francis, cococandy and KanwuliaJara over to you







mshewwwwww

Wedon:
Something must have happened . . .

Let your sister ask her husband very well. Maybe he complained to his sister about her and she took it personally.

I can only imagine what she must be going though in her own house.

Na wah!

Nah!! Her husband doesn't discuss his wife with any member of his family. I can personally vouch for him on that. They are that close knit and secretive. I only got to know about this issue cuz the strain is telling on her physically and I had to torment her to tell me.

#listenin to lil wayne-dreams and nightmares#



























Settle ur family matter...u're a man...a full grown MAN

....

SAMBARRY:
What's up with all this wimps of nowadays for goodness sakes. Isn't it Time for him to prove that he is the HEAD OF the house abi is it only in food matters and sek that we will know he is the head of the house. The man who's in the middle of all of this cat fight should find out from both parties the reason for the unnecessary attitude and if his sister cannot give reasons for her rudeness IN HIS HOUSEshe can as well go and rent a hotel or live with a friend. How can he be allowing someone else to make his wife uncomfortable in his own house. Of course friendship is not by force after all we don't choose our family but we have a right to choose who we decide to do friendship with and if the sister in law says she doesn't want to have anything to do with her brother's wife, there are plenty of hotels in Nigeria.




How can you be allowing disrespect and disregard in your own house




Christopher Francis, cococandy and KanwuliaJara over to you







mshewwwwww

Gbamest!

SAMBARRY:
What's up with all this wimps of nowadays for goodness sakes. Isn't it Time for him to prove that he is the HEAD OF the house abi is it only in food matters and sek that we will know he is the head of the house. The man who's in the middle of all of this cat fight should find out from both parties the reason for the unnecessary attitude and if his sister cannot give reasons for her rudeness IN HIS HOUSEshe can as well go and rent a hotel or live with a friend. How can he be allowing someone else to make his wife uncomfortable in his own house. Of course friendship is not by force after all we don't choose our family but we have a right to choose who we decide to do friendship with and if the sister in law says she doesn't want to have anything to do with her brother's wife, there are plenty of hotels in Nigeria.




How can you be allowing disrespect and disregard in your own house




Christopher Francis, cococandy and KanwuliaJara over to you







mshewwwwww

You don tok am finish na!
Are you not tired of dealing with weaklings?

@Op,

Wish you could get the thread to your brother-in-law.

If it is true your sister doesn't know what she did to warrant such unhealthy attitude from the lady and the husband couldn't a reason, then the blame is on the husband.

There are situations that diplomacy doesn't solve any issue like this one. How on earth will someone be living under my roof and be keeping malice with my wife. It cannot happen.... Even my mum cannot try it.

The only solution is for the husband to send her out and deal with whatever reactions from family members. Sure, it will create enemies for your sister but it will slide with time and with the intervention of wise elders in the family.

The man should MAN UP.

Something must have happened either truly or imagined to spark all this off more especially as they did share a cordial relationship at one point.

However since hubby has spoken to both sister & mum and given them both an oppourtunity to come out with it as adults and they havent taken that oppourtunity then he needs to take action.

They all cant keep on living this way. . . .for how long. very unhealthy for everyone involved including the children if there are any.
If its got to the point where there is no greeting and no eating of each others food, then it all needs to come to an head and taken from there, even it it means that some people need to be put in their place.

@in the meantime op have you pressed your sister very well on what could have sparked this off.

fluxbush:
Trust me,she has considered that option many times.

dats means u will visit my me for proper cleansing and spiritual war for sister inlaw.i will prove to u dat EKE NIILE BU EKE MA ENWERE EKE ENWE OHIA.

anaghi agwa ochi nti na agha esulee

tearoses:
Something must have happened either truly or imagined to spark all this off more especially as they did share a cordial relationship at one point.

However since hubby has spoken to both sister & mum and given them both an oppourtunity to come out with it as adults and they havent taken that oppourtunity then he needs to take action.

They all cant keep on living this way. . . .for how long. very unhealthy for everyone involved including the children if there are any.
If its got to the point where there is no greeting and no eating of each others food, then it all needs to come to an head and taken from there, even it it means that some people need to be put in their place.

@in the meantime op have you pressed your sister very well on what could have sparked this off.

Yeah,we ve had several heart to heart talks,trying to go over all her actions in order to know where she erred. Sadly, we couldn't get a clue. Personally, I feel the SIL is just trying to flex her muscles and displaying intimidation tactics. Annoyingly, she seems to be getting away with it cuz of her brother's lax attitude. As some posters said earlier, he is being a wuss whether for the right reasons or not. I just feel pity for her cuz she is the one carrying all the tension

Makamuanwuo:




dats means u will visit my me for proper cleansing and spiritual war for sister inlaw.i will prove to u dat EKE NIILE BU EKE MA ENWERE EKE ENWE OHIA.

anaghi agwa ochi nti na agha esulee

Abeg send me your address and the requirements.

You said they were of same age right!!!......I think the SIL is jealous of the sexxx romping, moaning, smooching and all Whatnots newlyweds do.

She should be plucked out of the house before she poisons them and the brother should rent an apartment for her.

So, someone can not have peace in her/his own home again?? Has he (your sister's husband) not noticed that his wife is no longer happy and that the whole issue is taking its toll on her? Why will a man allow his wife through such cos he doesn't want to hurt his family? Same family that isn't being reasonable?

Tell your sister to talk this through with her husband. Let her tell him how tensed and unhappy the environment in her home has become because of his sister, who by the way is her age mate and financially independent. Should not even be living with her married brother in the first place.

The husband is greatly at fault here. He has come short in his duty to 'protect' his wife. I wont be alive and see my family meddle in my home affairs so much that it now makes my husband constantly unhappy.

fluxbush:
Abeg send me your address and the requirements.

no 109 ogbuonyendunagu umuolu ikwuano auto comm isiala mbano imo state nigeria.

requirements are

1.white hen
2.beby
3.one crate of mineral
4.powder white
5.3legged turtoise
6.three tubes of coco yam
7.ego igwe ( cowry)
8.nshi mbe
9.mbuba ugo
10.water use in bathing dead body.



if u can bring all these things,ur problem hv bn solve.

thanks

fluxbush:
Yeah,we ve had several heart to heart talks,trying to go over all her actions in order to know where she erred. Sadly, we couldn't get a clue. Personally, I feel the SIL is just trying to flex her muscles and displaying intimidation tactics. Annoyingly, she seems to be getting away with it cuz of her brother's lax attitude. As some posters said earlier, he is being a wuss whether for the right reasons or not. I just feel pity for her cuz she is the one carrying all the tension

If your sister is 100% sure that she hasnt done anything (although its bizzare that things just suddenly changed) then the hubby then needs to put his foot down or this is how things will be till eternity between his family and his wife

He needs to call a meeting with his mother and his sister and another responsible and wise elder (the elder will be there to calm tension) and he needs to ask them what the problem is and it needs to be resolved there and then.

His wife not be at that first meeting so that number one they will feel comforable enough to open up to him and secondly so that if it turns out that they get told off/warned to behave, he doesnt do it in front of his wife and it doesnt look as if he is putting his wife over them, causing more beef between them and her.

If he doesnt take action now, then he himself will have no peace over the course of the marriage.

At this point most of the work is mainly the husbands.

If it does turn out that your sister did do something to offend, then she needs to apologise. The family however have to also understand that your sister is human and will make mistakes and they should find ways of communicating with her rather than make her life miserable.
This thing is a 2 way thing if inlaws and wives/husbands are to have peaceful and fulfilling relationships.

fluxbush:
Yeah,we ve had several heart to heart talks,trying to go over all her actions in order to know where she erred. Sadly, we couldn't get a clue. Personally, I feel the SIL is just trying to flex her muscles and displaying intimidation tactics. Annoyingly, she seems to be getting away with it cuz of her brother's lax attitude. As some posters said earlier, he is being a wuss whether for the right reasons or not. I just feel pity for her cuz she is the one carrying all the tension

Your sister is not telling you the total truth. You know people have a way of covering the truth just so that they will look good. Your sis knows the reason for the hostilities she just is not telling you. She might even be guilty of whatever the SIL is saying. However, that does not mean that she should be uncomfortable in her house. If the relationship has irrevocably broken down then it is time to take some hard decisions.

Would like to add that the husband is not necessarily a wuss, it could just be that his wife is actually wrong and the person heating up the environment. There is a saying that enmity between brothers cannot reach the bone. Your siblings are still your family and he will have to balance both aspects.

Makamuanwuo:





no 109 ogbuonyendunagu umuolu ikwuano auto comm isiala mbano imo state nigeria.

requirements are

1.white hen
2.beby
3.one crate of mineral
4.powder white
5.3legged turtoise
6.three tubes of coco yam
7.ego igwe ( cowry)
8.nshi mbe
9.mbuba ugo
10.water use in bathing dead body.



if u can bring all these things,ur problem hv bn solve.

thanks

11. Anunuebe

12. Apakwulu danda

VintageCocktail:
11. Anunuebe

12. Apakwulu danda

It seems you are the assistant Ezemuo.

blank:


Your sister is not telling you the total truth. You know people have a way of covering the truth just so that they will look good. Your sis knows the reason for the hostilities she just is not telling you. She might even be guilty of whatever the SIL is saying. However, that does not mean that she should be uncomfortable in her house. If the relationship has irrevocably broken down then it is time to take some hard decisions.

Would like to add that the husband is not necessarily a wuss, it could just be that his wife is actually wrong and the person heating up the environment. There is a saying that enmity between brothers cannot reach the bone. Your siblings are still your family and he will have to balance both aspects.

Since the girl has refused to eat in the house, something tells me that they have fallen out over food/kitchen matters.
I know how some women take "my kitchen" "my pot" & "my food" matter very seriously.
They are also a newly married couple, so there may be a clash of different backgrounds between the 2 women and they have fallen out.
Hopefully the issue will be a small matter and they can all resolve it and be peaceful again.

blank:


Your sister is not telling you the total truth. You know people have a way of covering the truth just so that they will look good. Your sis knows the reason for the hostilities she just is not telling you. She might even be guilty of whatever the SIL is saying. However, that does not mean that she should be uncomfortable in her house. If the relationship has irrevocably broken down then it is time to take some hard decisions.

Would like to add that the husband is not necessarily a wuss, it could just be that his wife is actually wrong and the person heating up the environment. There is a saying that enmity between brothers cannot reach the bone. Your siblings are still your family and he will have to balance both aspects.

If you had read the OP, you would ve seen where I said that she asked the SIL about her sudden coldness and she attributed it to stress at work. What should she be guilty about when she knows nothing of why the lady is acting up? She might not be telling me the entire truth but I feel like she wouldn't be bothered about the whole affair if she was the one heating up the polity.

tearoses:


Since the girl has refused to eat in the house, something tells me that they have fallen out over food/kitchen matters.
I know how some women take "my kitchen" "my pot" & "my food" matter very seriously.
They are also a newly married couple, so there may be a clash of different backgrounds between the 2 women and they have fallen out.
Hopefully the issue will be a small matter and they can all resolve it and be peaceful again.

I doubt if it has to do with kitchen matters cuz they cooked together while gisting as well. My sister isn't even as assertive as I am,so I am sure she didn't play the 'madam' card. The SIL is just being deliberately malicious and vindictive. Imagine her blackmailing her brother emotionally. What a biatch!

fluxbush:
It seems you are the assistant Ezemuo.

Chaiii. The gods must drink the blood while the Ezemmuos will eat the flesh. That's right!!!!!! I prefer the flesh .


The gods are saying you should probe your sister more because some things are not adding up....she did or say something nonchalantly that must have resulted to the uproar.

Let's consult the gods again with a featherless okuko abuke that lays the golden eggs. These very consultation is expensive hope you will foot the bill. Okuko abuke is a rare breed of fowl.

fluxbush:
If you had read the OP, you would ve seen where I said that she asked the SIL about her sudden coldness and she attributed it to stress at work. What should she be guilty about when she knows nothing of why the lady is acting up? She might not be telling me the entire truth but I feel like she wouldn't be bothered about the whole affair if she was the one heating up the polity.

Please, i know you are her sister so you will want to defend her actions. However, the story stinks. If my sister tells me such a story, i won't dig further because i know she is telling me half stories and doesn't want me to know her issues. Have you heard this story from anyone else apart from your sister so that you can gain some perspective on it. She can tell you that she is bothered by her SILs behavior but she might not tell you that she is the cause.

Don't you find it strange that they had a shouting match in her hubby's family house and even at that point, with more people involved no one mentioned the issue? Even if it's to use it in an abusive way on your sister? So many such loopholes. Anyways, it your sister's issue so anyway you present it here is based on "dem say" coloured by your own perspective.

VintageCocktail:
Chaiii. The gods must drink the blood while the Ezemmuos will eat the flesh. That's right!!!!!! I prefer the flesh .


The gods are saying you should probe your sister more because some things are not adding up....she did or say something nonchalantly that must have resulted to the uproar.

Let's consult the gods again with a featherless okuko abuke that lays the golden eggs. These very consultation is expensive hope you will foot the bill. Okuko abuke is a rare breed of fowl.

Hian!!! You must be an Imo Ezemuo. You want to render me bankrupt. As a proud Nwa'ba, I will trust in the name of Jesus which is totally free.

fluxbush:
Hian!!! You must be an Imo Ezemuo. You want to render me bankrupt. As a proud Nwa'ba, I will trust in the name of Jesus which is totally free.

Okay, good luck then.....…..

SIL sha sha!

*let me place myself in your sister's shoe"

A sister in law causing problems in my new, brand new matrimonial home?
She doesn't do house chores in my own house?
She doesn't say 'hello in my own house?
After the "stress at work" palaver, she went ahead to poison MIL at home.
Back in the city, she still dey form don jazzy for my own house?
She doesn't eat my food. Smh.Well, I can't force her to eat, but I will sit her down and give her a serious warning never to step her feet into my kitchen!As for other chores, she dares not lift a broom in my house! Since she wants to be treated like a visitor, no problem!

KanwuliaJara:


You don tok am finish na!
Are you not tired of dealing with weaklings?

I'm tired of women accepting disrespect in their own house and they think they can't do anything about it . It's so annoying

Your house na hotel or inn

sHe still has a roof over her head duhhhh.i won't even allow you stay talk less of entering the kitchen. Na innuendos I go take use quench you till you leave willingly

EggovinMma:
SIL sha sha!

*let me place myself in your sister's shoe"

A sister in law causing problems in my new, brand new matrimonial home?
She doesn't do house chores in my own house?
She doesn't say 'hello in my own house?
After the "stress at work" palaver, she went ahead to poison MIL at home.
Back in the city, she still dey form don jazzy for my own house?
She doesn't eat my food. Smh.Well, I can't force her to eat, but I will sit her down and give her a serious warning never to step her feet into my kitchen!As for other chores, she dares not lift a broom in my house! Since she wants to be treated like a visitor, no problem!